Should this letter be sent or forever stay a secret?
For privacy purposes, Names in this letter have been deleted Dear xxxxxxxx, I know you may have absolutely no idea who I am or maybe you do. First let me begin by saying I am extremely nervous to send this letter to you and I put a lot of thought into whether I should or not, I wrote it about a month ago but I now have the guts to send it because I am sure I am doing it for the right reasons. My name is xxxxxxxxxxxxxx. The connection between us is xxxxxxxxx (my ex-boyfriend). Xxxxxxx and I have known each other for four years. We went to the same high school and I am two years his junior. Xxxxxxx and I began dating in November 2008 and he broke up with me in May 2009. Now you may be wondering either “who is this girl or why is she telling me thisâ€or “oh right that psychobitch xxxxxx told me aboutâ€. Now I will get to the main point of why I am contacting you. Let me give you a summary. Despite xxxxx and I ending our relationship, we continued to stay in contact over the summer through Skype. Although we considered our relationship a “friendshipâ€, xxxxx still made sexual advances towards me. I was not innocent, I reciprocated despite my conscience telling me it was wrong due to the fact I still love and was attracted to xxxxx . I will admit in this situation, I was not an angel and I did things I regret and I definitely learned from my mistakes. It was all talk and “sexting†over the summer and the one day while running my eyes over his facebook page, I saw “In a Relationship with xxxxxxxx.†On an August night, I brought this up to him casually but he completely denied it, saying it must have been a “mistake.†Almost immediately, xxxxx got rid of it. Around September, he blocked me from his page all together. We continued to talk sexually and flirt, yet he began to call me less and less. In an effort to identify the problem, I tried multiple ways to contact him but he barely or did not respond. I became exasperated and simply gave up. Then one more attempt yielded a result. He answered his phone and he explained that he had begun to date you, but we could still be “friends.†I was disappointed, yet it was better than nothing. A week or so later xxxxx and I were on the phone and he began to once again, discuss sexual things with me. I felt uncomfortable because now he had a girlfriend. I asked him if you two were still dating, he responded with a “noâ€. We continued this sort of talk and planned on meeting up and potentially doing “things†in November on xxxxx’s Thanksgiving break. On November 21, 2009, xxxxx and I saw each other. That night I gave him a check for $428.00 to add to the additional $100.00 I gave to him for his phone bill overage that was partially my fault but also his because he chose to answer his phone. I worked four long, hard months to earn the $528.00 because I cared. Not only did I give xxxxx the money on 11/21/09 but we also had sex, and I lost my virginity that night. After we had finished he took me directly home, told me he had NO girlfriend and he would see me in three weeks of his winter break. Weeks went by with no call from xxxxx and I was wondering if I did something wrong. I emailed him and shortly after xxxxx Skyped me. He said I was “out of control†(apparently), we could not talk anymore, never to message or talk to him again or else he would file a restraining order against me. He said he did not care we had sex, I had caused enough trouble for him and “This is all in my head, get help. We are neither friends nor lovers.†Despite all these cruel things he said to me the largest shock came when he said “and you KNOW I’ve been in a relationship the whole time.†How would I have known when xxxxx adamantly denied it? Xxxxx not only took my money and my virginity that night but he also did a horrible thing to you, and betrayed you in the worst way possible. I would not wish that upon anyone. I have no connection to xxxxx anymore; he is out of my life for good. I am not mad at him, I do not hate him. Above anything, I am just disappointed at the whole thing: he took my money, my time, my confidence, virginity, innocence, weakened my friendships and put me though months of misery. Still though, I care about xxxxx and I wish him and good and happy life. I know you probably think I am absolutely insane and just trying to sabotage your relationship because I hate him or I am jealous or something. I also know you do know me and have never met me, but I can tell you something now: I am not a hateful or spiteful person. I am telling you this because, woman to woman, I would want to know. What xxxxx did was incredibly wrong and I needed to tell you the truth because I knew he would not. It is only natural for you to trust xxxxx and not me, for, as I know xxxxx is smart, funny, charming, sarcastic, handsome and sweet BUT I also realized his many flaws. For example, his intense privacy and secrecy about his past, using his charm for emotional manipulation, his great ability to and finally his ability to take a situation in which he is at fault and make it appear to be yours. You are probably head over heels for xxxxx though and this letter will probably not make you change your opinion of him. I just do not want you to have to go through what I did. So now it is your choice, you can either A. believe me or B. no believe me. It is up to you. Sit on this letter, think about it. It is up to you, but I can assure you I would not have take three hours to write this letter if I did not really mean it. Still, do as you wish. The only favor I ask of you is to keep this letter confidential from everyone EVEN xxxxx, please do not name your source, I would greatly appreciate that. Xxxxx could possibly blackmail me with photos I sent him of myself while we were dating. I know you may think I am whore, but I really am not the kind of girl you think I am, I just made a huge mistake. If you want to contact me, you can do so through my Facebook inbox or email me at xxxxxxxxxxx. Again, I am so sorry I had to inform you or this, you may hate me but I am really just trying to do the right thing. Thanks fro reading my letter through to the end Sincerely, Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Singles & Dating - 7 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Send it, she deserves to know the truth. I don't think he is right for her or she is right with him the way their relationship sounds so screwed up. Hope things work out, hun (: Good Luck!
2 :
You took you're time writing this, 3 hours I belive like you said. And I took the time to read it. Obviously the other women deserves to know & like you said you'd also like to know. Send it.
3 :
send it (:
4 :
Depends. What do you have to risk? Your reputation, trustworthiness... a lot. Ask yourself: Are you doing this, really, to get revenge on xxxxxxx, or because you sincerely want to save his new girlfriend (I assume it's a girlfriend) from more heartbreak?? Weigh this very, very carefully. If you think she really is better off knowing, and that she will believe you and leave him, you should send the letter. He deserves to be dumped and broken too.
5 :
I can see yo put in alot of effort in this letter. I really think you should send it just to warn them that he may be just a sick person. That isn't right he took all that and turned it against you. Send it for the persons sake. But remember, it's your life, your letter, most importantly, your decision. I only here to maybe help, not to steer your life for you. Think it over. Listen to you heart. You,ll will make the right decision ;). P.s. I'm not sure I gotthe whole idea of the letter >.< disregardthis answer if I didn't get it.
6 :
To send or not to send; that is the question. I say, don't send.
7 :
Weather you send the letter or not........DON'T LEND MONEY TO ANYONE. And for God's sake don't give it away! You worked hard for that. Don't you watch Judge Judy? And my advice to you is, don't send it. He's a creep. Put it behind you. Move on. You're better then that.
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Tuesday, July 1, 2014
Saturday, June 28, 2014
is there a chance of coming back together?
is there a chance of coming back together?
We’ve been together for 1 yr and 7 months. He’s my cousin’s friend since high school. But my cousin never really liked the idea of me dating him (crossing the line stuff), so we went against all odds. But we fought for each other, so everything became okay, my cousin and his friends accepted it. It was quite a “challenge†of the feeling that everyone was against the relationship. We had so many memories. He picks me at school during Saturdays after my class; we always watch movies coz that’s our favorite thing to do, dinner dates, badminton, bowling, or just coffee. We also bond with my cousin and friends out of town and at parties. For the whole 1 yr and 4 months (the other 3 months is another story), the downside of this relationship is we always fight about “small thingsâ€. Something that he didn’t do that I expect him to do, I get mad easily. Then whenever I’m mad, I talk to him in a casual way and when he asks what the problem is, I just say nothing. (MOSTLY GIRLS WANTS THEIR BOYFRIEND TO READ THEIR GIRLFRIEND’S MIND-that’s what girls are likely to do). It happens every other week or every month. It came to a point that he wants a “time offâ€, he wants to weigh things out and if the relationship will be going somewhere; so I give him this space. (Whenever there’s an issue, there’s always this “time off†coming). His†time off†usually lasts for just a week, then by Saturday he will text me or call me as if everything’s okay. So by Saturday is a normal day, like we date.. but he don’t discuss about the past argument. All of these just happen over and over again. Until… May 10, we had an issue. Then he wants to break up with me over the phone because he said that he was tired of all the arguments etc. He cried hard, so I felt that he can’t even let go because he was crying, I cried to. He said that he love me but not that much anymore. I cried and pleaded, asked for another chance that I will change (adjust in what I just can adjust). He gave me another chance. After that he keeps calling me many times a day in a week. I felt that he misses me too. June.. it went well, like everything was back to normal. He visited me when I was sick, I was so surprise and happy. I adjusted a little bit, I do efforts to see him, and surprise him, I let him feel my love. July and August… I’m still consistent. There were times that I feel that he doesn’t care. I was really confused because “we’re going up, down, up, up, down†(yesterday, he made me special, today, he acts like he doesn’t care, tomorrow, I don’t know!). I really adjusted like when he wants to hang out with his long lost friends, we cancel our Saturday date. I adjusted my Saturday schedule class in the morning so I can be with him for long hours. Aug 22, he was late for our date, and I was a little bit upset coz I feel that I was taken for granted. So when I came into his car, I was just silent. The whole night, I talked to him in a casual way. August 23, he posted something to his facebook.. “contemplating on leaving everything behindâ€. I sensed that it’s about me. So I called him, and then ask him about what he posted. He told me it’s not working anymore. I didn’t cried and plead. I asked that I wanted to see him personally. So we see each other on the 29th. We ate dinner, and then talked about the issue, I was crying and he was consoling me. He said that he’s here if I wanted to talk, to watch movies again with him. I told him that I want to watch New Moon this coming November and said okay. After that night, he still texts and chats for the whole September (every other day). He’s the first one to text/chat, since he’s the dumper. My philosophy is whoever decided the break up thing must be the one who will do the reconnecting. September 28 was the last chat in ym. After that no more. October 17 was my birthday. He sent me an offline message exactly at 12mn saying “Happy Birthday! :)†I don’t know if it’s a sweet feeling that he greeted me first, but I felt a little bit mad, coz what the f, an ex greeted me first! I texted him if he’s free tonight. He asked me if who will be there in my party, hs friends or college or both. I said both, I felt that he might be shy or what, coz he’s asking who my visitors are. So he came with our common friend. He gave me a gift which I didn’t expect. This is what I observed at my party.. 1.I noticed that he was looking at the way i eat my chicken. (That’s what he always does when we were together, he laughs at me because I was having a hard time to use the spoon and fork to eat my chicken, and he found it cute). 2.I showed my digicam, he was browsing the pictures and asked who my partner in the pageant is. So I told him that he’s just my high school friend. (Actually I asked him to be my partner last June, but he doesn’t want to). 3.When he was browsing, I told him to give the camera to my friend, Aj who was just sitting at our table. I told my ex to give the camera to Aj, he said that he doesn’t wa
Singles & Dating - 1 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
it sounds like you are letting him influence your emotions and sense of well-being like the moon controls the tide. not that he's doing anything bad, it's not good for you to go "up and down" as you described. you may want to put the ball in your court by giving yourself some time off. step back and really think about what you need and what is and is not good for you. it's never fun when someone strings you along and you don't know where you stand with them, so don't let him do that. one of you needs to draw a line in the sand. you two are together or not together. if not, you need to stay away for a while...rule of thumb is at least half the time you were together...in your case that would be little to no contact for about 8mos. as for feelings never going away...my particular case was extreme. i've had several relationships since without strong lingering feelings. however, i would venture to guess that just about everyone has one relationship that they will never completely get over. it goes with territory. as they say, "love hurts". hang in there, everyone goes through this BS!
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We’ve been together for 1 yr and 7 months. He’s my cousin’s friend since high school. But my cousin never really liked the idea of me dating him (crossing the line stuff), so we went against all odds. But we fought for each other, so everything became okay, my cousin and his friends accepted it. It was quite a “challenge†of the feeling that everyone was against the relationship. We had so many memories. He picks me at school during Saturdays after my class; we always watch movies coz that’s our favorite thing to do, dinner dates, badminton, bowling, or just coffee. We also bond with my cousin and friends out of town and at parties. For the whole 1 yr and 4 months (the other 3 months is another story), the downside of this relationship is we always fight about “small thingsâ€. Something that he didn’t do that I expect him to do, I get mad easily. Then whenever I’m mad, I talk to him in a casual way and when he asks what the problem is, I just say nothing. (MOSTLY GIRLS WANTS THEIR BOYFRIEND TO READ THEIR GIRLFRIEND’S MIND-that’s what girls are likely to do). It happens every other week or every month. It came to a point that he wants a “time offâ€, he wants to weigh things out and if the relationship will be going somewhere; so I give him this space. (Whenever there’s an issue, there’s always this “time off†coming). His†time off†usually lasts for just a week, then by Saturday he will text me or call me as if everything’s okay. So by Saturday is a normal day, like we date.. but he don’t discuss about the past argument. All of these just happen over and over again. Until… May 10, we had an issue. Then he wants to break up with me over the phone because he said that he was tired of all the arguments etc. He cried hard, so I felt that he can’t even let go because he was crying, I cried to. He said that he love me but not that much anymore. I cried and pleaded, asked for another chance that I will change (adjust in what I just can adjust). He gave me another chance. After that he keeps calling me many times a day in a week. I felt that he misses me too. June.. it went well, like everything was back to normal. He visited me when I was sick, I was so surprise and happy. I adjusted a little bit, I do efforts to see him, and surprise him, I let him feel my love. July and August… I’m still consistent. There were times that I feel that he doesn’t care. I was really confused because “we’re going up, down, up, up, down†(yesterday, he made me special, today, he acts like he doesn’t care, tomorrow, I don’t know!). I really adjusted like when he wants to hang out with his long lost friends, we cancel our Saturday date. I adjusted my Saturday schedule class in the morning so I can be with him for long hours. Aug 22, he was late for our date, and I was a little bit upset coz I feel that I was taken for granted. So when I came into his car, I was just silent. The whole night, I talked to him in a casual way. August 23, he posted something to his facebook.. “contemplating on leaving everything behindâ€. I sensed that it’s about me. So I called him, and then ask him about what he posted. He told me it’s not working anymore. I didn’t cried and plead. I asked that I wanted to see him personally. So we see each other on the 29th. We ate dinner, and then talked about the issue, I was crying and he was consoling me. He said that he’s here if I wanted to talk, to watch movies again with him. I told him that I want to watch New Moon this coming November and said okay. After that night, he still texts and chats for the whole September (every other day). He’s the first one to text/chat, since he’s the dumper. My philosophy is whoever decided the break up thing must be the one who will do the reconnecting. September 28 was the last chat in ym. After that no more. October 17 was my birthday. He sent me an offline message exactly at 12mn saying “Happy Birthday! :)†I don’t know if it’s a sweet feeling that he greeted me first, but I felt a little bit mad, coz what the f, an ex greeted me first! I texted him if he’s free tonight. He asked me if who will be there in my party, hs friends or college or both. I said both, I felt that he might be shy or what, coz he’s asking who my visitors are. So he came with our common friend. He gave me a gift which I didn’t expect. This is what I observed at my party.. 1.I noticed that he was looking at the way i eat my chicken. (That’s what he always does when we were together, he laughs at me because I was having a hard time to use the spoon and fork to eat my chicken, and he found it cute). 2.I showed my digicam, he was browsing the pictures and asked who my partner in the pageant is. So I told him that he’s just my high school friend. (Actually I asked him to be my partner last June, but he doesn’t want to). 3.When he was browsing, I told him to give the camera to my friend, Aj who was just sitting at our table. I told my ex to give the camera to Aj, he said that he doesn’t wa
Singles & Dating - 1 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
it sounds like you are letting him influence your emotions and sense of well-being like the moon controls the tide. not that he's doing anything bad, it's not good for you to go "up and down" as you described. you may want to put the ball in your court by giving yourself some time off. step back and really think about what you need and what is and is not good for you. it's never fun when someone strings you along and you don't know where you stand with them, so don't let him do that. one of you needs to draw a line in the sand. you two are together or not together. if not, you need to stay away for a while...rule of thumb is at least half the time you were together...in your case that would be little to no contact for about 8mos. as for feelings never going away...my particular case was extreme. i've had several relationships since without strong lingering feelings. however, i would venture to guess that just about everyone has one relationship that they will never completely get over. it goes with territory. as they say, "love hurts". hang in there, everyone goes through this BS!
Read more other entries :
Saturday, June 14, 2014
Divorce after only two months?
Divorce after only two months?
My husband and I were married just short of two months ago. I am 19, and he is 18. He is in the US Army & was being sent to Korea after only three months of dating. We decided that we just couldn't live without each other, and felt like we knew enough about each other to make that commitment. We had never fought when we were dating, and we loved everything about each other. We get married, and the DAY AFTER our wedding, we had our first fight. He walked out, and didn't come back for hours. I was left in a hotel room crying alone. On the day before Valentine's Day, I was trying to discuss with him when he would use his leave (time off) to come home, and he said that I would just have to come to Korea to visit him, that he wasn't leaving until his tour was over. I simply said "that's not what we had talked about" and he blew up on me. He is not willing to compromise at all, about anything. But later that night, he was screaming at me, and I tried to exit the room..he grabbed my arm, & wouldn't let go. In so many words, he told me that nothing going on in my life mattered, that he had been through so much worse. So, I told him just to let me go cool down, and we would talk when we would both actually TALK instead of yell. Well, he decides to say "yeah, walk away you stupid f***** b****. This is while we are living in my PARENTS house, until he leaves for Korea. My father was home at the time of this..and it was like my husband did not care at all. He kept telling my dad that I was a b**** & sent all of his facebook friends messages about how his wife is a "royal b****" He uses "playful force" during sex, which is not a mutual enjoyment, and I have read recently that this is a sign of an abuser. He blows up over the smallest things. The most recent occurence was just this past weekend. Friday, he accused me of not taking my birth control, and attempting to get pregnant knowing that he is against it. Instead of confronting me about this however, he takes the route of asking my best friend & making her promise not to tell me (high school much?) I overhear the conversation, and ask him about it. He gets extremely angry with me over it, and so I go sit outside alone just to calm down. Eventually, my mom, and three friends come out there. My husband comes out, gets in my face, and starts yelling and cursing. in front of EVERYONE. Once again, he will not let me move & he blocks me from going anywhere. He wouldn't get out of my face, until my father almost stepped in and handled it himself. Everyone is telling me that if he treats me this way in front of other people, how is it going to be when it is just me and him? he promises me that he would never hit me, but deep down, I really am terrified of him. We have had multiple talks about how things were going to have to change for this to work, but he will "change" for a day, and go right back to doing these things. He tells me " you don't know how much i care about you, how much i love you" and then he goes into crying spells which i always fall for, so i end up forgiving him.. but he never really changes. I have never been one to believe in divorce, but I am not going to live this way. I feel like I haven't given it an honest shot yet, but with the way he makes me feel, I also don't see the point in trying anymore. I want to go back to college, and make a life for myself, I don't want to have to be dependent on someone who can hold it over my head. I want to do so many things, that I know will never happen with him. I thought that marrying him was the right thing, but now I'm seriously considering divorce.. Under the circumstances, is it too soon to quit?
Marriage & Divorce - 19 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
its never to soon to quit.
2 :
This is why they should raise the legal age you can get married...nobody in their teens should be allowed to marry. You kids just aren't ready for a real relationship...
3 :
Get a divorce, if he refuses, get ahold of his commanding officer, they won't put up with his crap.
4 :
Well you are very young. Marriage at 18 and 19 is not to smart. I know what is done is done but it sounds like you guys kinda rushed into it. If I were you I would either see a councilor or you may considor divorce. I'm sorry about your situation. Good luck.
5 :
dump him now. he's abusive and unstable. now you know that it takes more than a couple of months to get to know someone fully, let alone marry them. please divorce him. this guy is fully capable of doing something terrible to you. he's no good and he will only bring misery to your life. its not too soon to quit because if he's like this so early on, he'll only get worse. you know it but you just have to admit it to yourself.
6 :
i think yu werent thinking when yu decided to marry,dating and marriage ,are 2 different things. yu were scared to be away from each other,and yu took the step yu are not ready for. i think getting yo marriage annuled is the best way. yu think you know each other but its puppy love. his showing his true colors and he feels tied down to you.
7 :
No, it is not. You jumped into marrying him after only 3 mos. of dating and he has multiple signs of being an abuser. Get out NOW! Don't look back.
8 :
well even though he has alot of stress on him atm he shouldn't act that way and it is never to soon or to late to quit if you are unhappy an have tryed to cope and be there an fix things separate for a bit let him have time to think about it if no change file for divorce. but he does sound like he may go off the deep end so to speak one day and him with his training may even kill ya RUNNN
9 :
If you don't feel it in your heart and you are scared of him. YOU NEED TO LEAVE. You are going to be stuck in this situation if you dont get out. The sooner, the better. Military life is not easy. I am an Air Force wife. I married my husband when we were both 18. We've been married for 3 years now and been together for 6. I love him with all my heart and many people envy our marriage. If you guys cannot work things out and be adults about this situation, you will NEVER make it through military life. I promise you this. This will not be the first time he has to leave, trust me. Follow your heart but it's not too soon if you can't handle it. You need to decide if it's worth it to you. If it's not, you can probably get an annulment this early.
10 :
You need to let him go to Korea alone. Then divorce this guy. You married too soon apparently this guy is not ready for commitment or has the patient for a wife. He seems to be an abuser and Im surprised your father took so long to step in. This guy will get worse over time if you keep letting it go. He needs to grow up and take some anger management classes and then figure if you two are ready for a marriage. Good luck I do hope you make the right decision.
11 :
Both of you are far to young and mentally unstable to be in a marriage. There seems to be stress on both sides. Your family is right, once he gets you alone and goes off he will hit you. Love isn't being terrified. In your circumstances I would get an annulment. You need to both grow first, experience life, have a career, a home before marriage comes.
12 :
One word with explanation-DIVORCE (not yelling). Your husband is a well trained man with POWER (not yelling) behind his anger and strenght. You need to find a secure place to call his commanding officer and let him know what he is doing to you, then take it to the police and then run to shelter for safety. The next steps follow. My second marriage started out almost like that. He was an alcoholic, drug addict/dealer, abusier, raped me from day one, was threatened if I leave he would hunt be down and kill me, his street life was home life, etc. He spent time in and out of jails and once in prison. I am now a crimnal because of him. He finally commited suicde. Leave and run far so he cannot find you. Even if you got to get a restraining order. Go to a shelter for abused women, before you end up at the morgue. Then your parents and friends will have to identify you. Run as fast as you can. And pray-God be with you.
13 :
That is the problem when you have only dated for three months. Three months is when the true colors of the person you are in a relationship starts coming out (but i guess some people are luckily who marry after a month of knowing a person because they connect like two peas in a pod). From this time you should be able to weed out the good from the bad on whether you are able to pursue or not. I think you rushed marriage..but i am not going to go into that. To be honest he has anger management issues, a lack of respect for you..and even if i was to say that you both need to opt for counseling. I think from your description he has pride and ego and wouldn't even want to go. To be honest i really do not know what you can do in this situation. But i hate to say it...it seems that divorce is speaking out in volumes here.
14 :
No, it's not too soon to quit. Quit while you are a head. Don't wait for the time that he would kill you if you have a fight. No man could ever change that way if he really loved his wife. Maybe he had suffered from abuse when he was young, maybe that is the situation he grow up with. I don't know but he needs help. If he really love you, he would take care of you, handle you like a very fragile crystal that in a slight mistake would break. If he really love you, he will treat you with respect when making love. If he really love you, he would pay respect to your parents especially at your parents house. Honestly, you had suffered from marital abuse not only physically, but also verbally, mentally and emotionally for such a short period of time. Divorce is not the solution, file for an Annulment. I got married young also and we have been married for 17 years now and my husband never treated me like that. Sure we have our fights, our ups and downs and trials in life but he never treated me like that. If we have a fight, he never walked out on me for hours, and we often make a compromise and meet up with it.
15 :
honey you need to get out now before something bad happens to you. this man is a ticking time bomb!
16 :
He is a classic abuser, they always have "crying spells" which is total BS and they ALWAYS hurt you very badly or worse, you need to get rid of him NOW and get a divorce and cut off all contact with him, he is the type who flips out and kills people one day, don't wait around for that, he is deeply disturbed.
17 :
Get out and get out now!!! You made a bad decision when you agreed to marry a man that you barely knew. 3 months dating is nothing. Of course you didn't fight while you were dating, no one fights in the first 3 months that they know someone. Don't make this bad decision worse by staying with this extremely controlling and abusive man any longer. He may not have been physically abusive yet but what you describe is emotional abuse and even if he never laid a hand on you, living with emotional abuse can be just as destructive to you as physical abuse. He isn't likely to let you go easy tho. Contact his commanding officer and tell him what's happening. Contact the police to give them a heads up and make arrangements to go somewhere that he can't find you. My niece had to move clear across the country to get away from her abusive ex but it was the best thing she ever did. She's with a really good man now. "He is not willing to compromise at all, about anything." "he was screaming at me, and I tried to exit the room..he grabbed my arm, & wouldn't let go" "walk away you stupid f***** b****. " "He uses "playful force" during sex, which is not a mutual enjoyment" "he will not let me move & he blocks me from going anywhere. He wouldn't get out of my face" These are all huge warning signs. Pay attention to them!! You say yourself that you're terrified of him, how can you even think of remaining in this marriage. "He tells me " you don't know how much i care about you, how much i love you" and then he goes into crying spells which i always fall for, so i end up forgiving him.. but he never really changes." This is classic manipulation that all abusers use. He may even really love you in his own sick twisted way but is this the kind of love you want in your life? I hope not. There are good men in the world who will treat you good and be caring about your feelings and needs. I'm not normally one to suggest divorce but when abuse is involved there really is no other option. This isn't a failure on your part, you made a bad decision - learn from it and move on with your life.
18 :
Honey. Run as fast and as far away from this as you can. It's only going to get worse not better. You owe it to yourself to be in a relationship where you feel loved and respected.
19 :
If the military didn't straighten his a@@ out on this, he's never going to change. You're being abused physically and mentally, and I don't care if bi@#$ boy just caught Osama, you need to get an annulment. He has no reason to change, and sadly, the only thing you can take away is yourself. If he is so unwilling to change- one day doesn't count- you need to give him a reason to, and that's you coming back. If you had college plans you should have married him after you graduated, it would have given you something to stand on and him time to mature.
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My husband and I were married just short of two months ago. I am 19, and he is 18. He is in the US Army & was being sent to Korea after only three months of dating. We decided that we just couldn't live without each other, and felt like we knew enough about each other to make that commitment. We had never fought when we were dating, and we loved everything about each other. We get married, and the DAY AFTER our wedding, we had our first fight. He walked out, and didn't come back for hours. I was left in a hotel room crying alone. On the day before Valentine's Day, I was trying to discuss with him when he would use his leave (time off) to come home, and he said that I would just have to come to Korea to visit him, that he wasn't leaving until his tour was over. I simply said "that's not what we had talked about" and he blew up on me. He is not willing to compromise at all, about anything. But later that night, he was screaming at me, and I tried to exit the room..he grabbed my arm, & wouldn't let go. In so many words, he told me that nothing going on in my life mattered, that he had been through so much worse. So, I told him just to let me go cool down, and we would talk when we would both actually TALK instead of yell. Well, he decides to say "yeah, walk away you stupid f***** b****. This is while we are living in my PARENTS house, until he leaves for Korea. My father was home at the time of this..and it was like my husband did not care at all. He kept telling my dad that I was a b**** & sent all of his facebook friends messages about how his wife is a "royal b****" He uses "playful force" during sex, which is not a mutual enjoyment, and I have read recently that this is a sign of an abuser. He blows up over the smallest things. The most recent occurence was just this past weekend. Friday, he accused me of not taking my birth control, and attempting to get pregnant knowing that he is against it. Instead of confronting me about this however, he takes the route of asking my best friend & making her promise not to tell me (high school much?) I overhear the conversation, and ask him about it. He gets extremely angry with me over it, and so I go sit outside alone just to calm down. Eventually, my mom, and three friends come out there. My husband comes out, gets in my face, and starts yelling and cursing. in front of EVERYONE. Once again, he will not let me move & he blocks me from going anywhere. He wouldn't get out of my face, until my father almost stepped in and handled it himself. Everyone is telling me that if he treats me this way in front of other people, how is it going to be when it is just me and him? he promises me that he would never hit me, but deep down, I really am terrified of him. We have had multiple talks about how things were going to have to change for this to work, but he will "change" for a day, and go right back to doing these things. He tells me " you don't know how much i care about you, how much i love you" and then he goes into crying spells which i always fall for, so i end up forgiving him.. but he never really changes. I have never been one to believe in divorce, but I am not going to live this way. I feel like I haven't given it an honest shot yet, but with the way he makes me feel, I also don't see the point in trying anymore. I want to go back to college, and make a life for myself, I don't want to have to be dependent on someone who can hold it over my head. I want to do so many things, that I know will never happen with him. I thought that marrying him was the right thing, but now I'm seriously considering divorce.. Under the circumstances, is it too soon to quit?
Marriage & Divorce - 19 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
its never to soon to quit.
2 :
This is why they should raise the legal age you can get married...nobody in their teens should be allowed to marry. You kids just aren't ready for a real relationship...
3 :
Get a divorce, if he refuses, get ahold of his commanding officer, they won't put up with his crap.
4 :
Well you are very young. Marriage at 18 and 19 is not to smart. I know what is done is done but it sounds like you guys kinda rushed into it. If I were you I would either see a councilor or you may considor divorce. I'm sorry about your situation. Good luck.
5 :
dump him now. he's abusive and unstable. now you know that it takes more than a couple of months to get to know someone fully, let alone marry them. please divorce him. this guy is fully capable of doing something terrible to you. he's no good and he will only bring misery to your life. its not too soon to quit because if he's like this so early on, he'll only get worse. you know it but you just have to admit it to yourself.
6 :
i think yu werent thinking when yu decided to marry,dating and marriage ,are 2 different things. yu were scared to be away from each other,and yu took the step yu are not ready for. i think getting yo marriage annuled is the best way. yu think you know each other but its puppy love. his showing his true colors and he feels tied down to you.
7 :
No, it is not. You jumped into marrying him after only 3 mos. of dating and he has multiple signs of being an abuser. Get out NOW! Don't look back.
8 :
well even though he has alot of stress on him atm he shouldn't act that way and it is never to soon or to late to quit if you are unhappy an have tryed to cope and be there an fix things separate for a bit let him have time to think about it if no change file for divorce. but he does sound like he may go off the deep end so to speak one day and him with his training may even kill ya RUNNN
9 :
If you don't feel it in your heart and you are scared of him. YOU NEED TO LEAVE. You are going to be stuck in this situation if you dont get out. The sooner, the better. Military life is not easy. I am an Air Force wife. I married my husband when we were both 18. We've been married for 3 years now and been together for 6. I love him with all my heart and many people envy our marriage. If you guys cannot work things out and be adults about this situation, you will NEVER make it through military life. I promise you this. This will not be the first time he has to leave, trust me. Follow your heart but it's not too soon if you can't handle it. You need to decide if it's worth it to you. If it's not, you can probably get an annulment this early.
10 :
You need to let him go to Korea alone. Then divorce this guy. You married too soon apparently this guy is not ready for commitment or has the patient for a wife. He seems to be an abuser and Im surprised your father took so long to step in. This guy will get worse over time if you keep letting it go. He needs to grow up and take some anger management classes and then figure if you two are ready for a marriage. Good luck I do hope you make the right decision.
11 :
Both of you are far to young and mentally unstable to be in a marriage. There seems to be stress on both sides. Your family is right, once he gets you alone and goes off he will hit you. Love isn't being terrified. In your circumstances I would get an annulment. You need to both grow first, experience life, have a career, a home before marriage comes.
12 :
One word with explanation-DIVORCE (not yelling). Your husband is a well trained man with POWER (not yelling) behind his anger and strenght. You need to find a secure place to call his commanding officer and let him know what he is doing to you, then take it to the police and then run to shelter for safety. The next steps follow. My second marriage started out almost like that. He was an alcoholic, drug addict/dealer, abusier, raped me from day one, was threatened if I leave he would hunt be down and kill me, his street life was home life, etc. He spent time in and out of jails and once in prison. I am now a crimnal because of him. He finally commited suicde. Leave and run far so he cannot find you. Even if you got to get a restraining order. Go to a shelter for abused women, before you end up at the morgue. Then your parents and friends will have to identify you. Run as fast as you can. And pray-God be with you.
13 :
That is the problem when you have only dated for three months. Three months is when the true colors of the person you are in a relationship starts coming out (but i guess some people are luckily who marry after a month of knowing a person because they connect like two peas in a pod). From this time you should be able to weed out the good from the bad on whether you are able to pursue or not. I think you rushed marriage..but i am not going to go into that. To be honest he has anger management issues, a lack of respect for you..and even if i was to say that you both need to opt for counseling. I think from your description he has pride and ego and wouldn't even want to go. To be honest i really do not know what you can do in this situation. But i hate to say it...it seems that divorce is speaking out in volumes here.
14 :
No, it's not too soon to quit. Quit while you are a head. Don't wait for the time that he would kill you if you have a fight. No man could ever change that way if he really loved his wife. Maybe he had suffered from abuse when he was young, maybe that is the situation he grow up with. I don't know but he needs help. If he really love you, he would take care of you, handle you like a very fragile crystal that in a slight mistake would break. If he really love you, he will treat you with respect when making love. If he really love you, he would pay respect to your parents especially at your parents house. Honestly, you had suffered from marital abuse not only physically, but also verbally, mentally and emotionally for such a short period of time. Divorce is not the solution, file for an Annulment. I got married young also and we have been married for 17 years now and my husband never treated me like that. Sure we have our fights, our ups and downs and trials in life but he never treated me like that. If we have a fight, he never walked out on me for hours, and we often make a compromise and meet up with it.
15 :
honey you need to get out now before something bad happens to you. this man is a ticking time bomb!
16 :
He is a classic abuser, they always have "crying spells" which is total BS and they ALWAYS hurt you very badly or worse, you need to get rid of him NOW and get a divorce and cut off all contact with him, he is the type who flips out and kills people one day, don't wait around for that, he is deeply disturbed.
17 :
Get out and get out now!!! You made a bad decision when you agreed to marry a man that you barely knew. 3 months dating is nothing. Of course you didn't fight while you were dating, no one fights in the first 3 months that they know someone. Don't make this bad decision worse by staying with this extremely controlling and abusive man any longer. He may not have been physically abusive yet but what you describe is emotional abuse and even if he never laid a hand on you, living with emotional abuse can be just as destructive to you as physical abuse. He isn't likely to let you go easy tho. Contact his commanding officer and tell him what's happening. Contact the police to give them a heads up and make arrangements to go somewhere that he can't find you. My niece had to move clear across the country to get away from her abusive ex but it was the best thing she ever did. She's with a really good man now. "He is not willing to compromise at all, about anything." "he was screaming at me, and I tried to exit the room..he grabbed my arm, & wouldn't let go" "walk away you stupid f***** b****. " "He uses "playful force" during sex, which is not a mutual enjoyment" "he will not let me move & he blocks me from going anywhere. He wouldn't get out of my face" These are all huge warning signs. Pay attention to them!! You say yourself that you're terrified of him, how can you even think of remaining in this marriage. "He tells me " you don't know how much i care about you, how much i love you" and then he goes into crying spells which i always fall for, so i end up forgiving him.. but he never really changes." This is classic manipulation that all abusers use. He may even really love you in his own sick twisted way but is this the kind of love you want in your life? I hope not. There are good men in the world who will treat you good and be caring about your feelings and needs. I'm not normally one to suggest divorce but when abuse is involved there really is no other option. This isn't a failure on your part, you made a bad decision - learn from it and move on with your life.
18 :
Honey. Run as fast and as far away from this as you can. It's only going to get worse not better. You owe it to yourself to be in a relationship where you feel loved and respected.
19 :
If the military didn't straighten his a@@ out on this, he's never going to change. You're being abused physically and mentally, and I don't care if bi@#$ boy just caught Osama, you need to get an annulment. He has no reason to change, and sadly, the only thing you can take away is yourself. If he is so unwilling to change- one day doesn't count- you need to give him a reason to, and that's you coming back. If you had college plans you should have married him after you graduated, it would have given you something to stand on and him time to mature.
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Saturday, June 7, 2014
need motivation and people's opinion?
need motivation and people's opinion?
okay,this may be long but I hope someone can help. So I'm a community college student and I am on this "crossroad" dilemma. I apply to transfer to a 4 year university in California after being at a community college for 3 years. I am already got in to 1 and I'm on my last 2 weeks waiting for 4 more admission decisions. As I wait for these decisions, I have been thinking about my life within the last 3 years after high school graduation. The last 3 years have been weird. What happen is that i live a sort of uncommon life in comparison to my friends to my friends and peers. I dedicate myself to my studies these days that I happen to become a loner. I rarely go out with friends anymore. And some of group of friends that I kind of wish I could spend more time have a flaw: they're friends with an ex-girlfriend of mine. I have low paying job since I want to get a car but the only problem is I only work once a week and finding a better paying job are away and definitely need a car. Almost all my peers have cars and they're enjoying the heck out of their lives. From my observation is that I feel that I'm missing out the fun in my early 20's. First of all, my closest friends don't go to college and they work. So I can't discuss school related stuff as often. Plus,they're into video games, which I'm not. Another draw back is that those who do go to school (community college or university) are not majoring in science so I feel the weird one. I love science because of the fact that while its difficult,I'm actually learning stuff. Not to criticize liberal art majors but the harder courses make you think "outside the box" like in calculus or chemistry (funny thing though is that I need some psychological help in my question;irony,lol!). Anyways, the biggest problem I have is when people ask me why I don't have a girlfriend. Now, I have dated about once or twice but at those times, I just felt uncomfortable being with another person. I just didn't felt in the mood of a relationship; I didn't have feelings for that person. So it bugs me when some of my friends (guy or girl) ask me why I'm not in one. For me, I feel that I want to transfer out to a good school because I don't want to work in low paying job as I am right now;I really care about education and it saddens me that some just view it as a chore or something. But while my friends respect my decision, my ex-girlfriends ask me the same question. At this point, I am like "wth???why do you care?". What happen is that I use to try to get her back with me for 2 years after she broke up with me. So I decided that once she was in college,I will never ever talk to her again (in person). We have always been friends online since we broke up but we have added and deleted each other several times. The last time she deleted me, I decided I will not be Mr. Nice Guy anymore. She added me again in December but I vow not to chat her on facebook. She has always started the conversation the few times I spoke to her in Fb. But the last 2 times she kept mentioning "her man" and that she was serious about him and she was going to drop out of college for him (her current boyfriend is about to graduate next year and they plan to come back to California since she is at Iowa). And while I could care less now, yesterday she ask about "any lucky gals out there for me?" after she had mention her bf many times before. It feels she is rubbing it in my face because she knows I was in deep love for her 3 years ago. So in essence,I am asking what should I do about my life as I go on with my life.Should I work hard to get a car(I don't think I need a car since I plan to dorm when I transfer)?What should I do with my closest friends(should I try to be into video games because that's like the one thing they're super into)?what should I do with my ex-girlfriend(I wanted to delete her on Facebook but I want to show that I'm stronger than her and that I have move on. Seriously, I feel like I'm competing against her. I don't care about relationships right now because I have not gotten that feeling to be someone yet.EEERRR,but I want to show that the day she left me was her biggest mistake(btw,the break up was on 2008)). I can wait to transfer out so I can finally meet some people with the same interest like me and possibly find a good girl that cares about me.
Singles & Dating - 1 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
It's a long read. First, don't look back. Stop thinking about the past three years. Instead focus on the next three years. About your friends: If your friends have different interests than yours, then try to look for new friends that shares the same interest as you are. Remember, birds of a same feather flocks together, so it's understandable that you will not be compelled to stick with your old friends. About your ex-girlfriend: Move on. Meet someone else. The easiest way to get him out of your mind is to meet someone else. About motivation: Set a goal. If you think you need to get a car to get yourself motivated, then do it. Don't let yourself get distracted by things. I recommend reading the link below to get you more motivated.
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okay,this may be long but I hope someone can help. So I'm a community college student and I am on this "crossroad" dilemma. I apply to transfer to a 4 year university in California after being at a community college for 3 years. I am already got in to 1 and I'm on my last 2 weeks waiting for 4 more admission decisions. As I wait for these decisions, I have been thinking about my life within the last 3 years after high school graduation. The last 3 years have been weird. What happen is that i live a sort of uncommon life in comparison to my friends to my friends and peers. I dedicate myself to my studies these days that I happen to become a loner. I rarely go out with friends anymore. And some of group of friends that I kind of wish I could spend more time have a flaw: they're friends with an ex-girlfriend of mine. I have low paying job since I want to get a car but the only problem is I only work once a week and finding a better paying job are away and definitely need a car. Almost all my peers have cars and they're enjoying the heck out of their lives. From my observation is that I feel that I'm missing out the fun in my early 20's. First of all, my closest friends don't go to college and they work. So I can't discuss school related stuff as often. Plus,they're into video games, which I'm not. Another draw back is that those who do go to school (community college or university) are not majoring in science so I feel the weird one. I love science because of the fact that while its difficult,I'm actually learning stuff. Not to criticize liberal art majors but the harder courses make you think "outside the box" like in calculus or chemistry (funny thing though is that I need some psychological help in my question;irony,lol!). Anyways, the biggest problem I have is when people ask me why I don't have a girlfriend. Now, I have dated about once or twice but at those times, I just felt uncomfortable being with another person. I just didn't felt in the mood of a relationship; I didn't have feelings for that person. So it bugs me when some of my friends (guy or girl) ask me why I'm not in one. For me, I feel that I want to transfer out to a good school because I don't want to work in low paying job as I am right now;I really care about education and it saddens me that some just view it as a chore or something. But while my friends respect my decision, my ex-girlfriends ask me the same question. At this point, I am like "wth???why do you care?". What happen is that I use to try to get her back with me for 2 years after she broke up with me. So I decided that once she was in college,I will never ever talk to her again (in person). We have always been friends online since we broke up but we have added and deleted each other several times. The last time she deleted me, I decided I will not be Mr. Nice Guy anymore. She added me again in December but I vow not to chat her on facebook. She has always started the conversation the few times I spoke to her in Fb. But the last 2 times she kept mentioning "her man" and that she was serious about him and she was going to drop out of college for him (her current boyfriend is about to graduate next year and they plan to come back to California since she is at Iowa). And while I could care less now, yesterday she ask about "any lucky gals out there for me?" after she had mention her bf many times before. It feels she is rubbing it in my face because she knows I was in deep love for her 3 years ago. So in essence,I am asking what should I do about my life as I go on with my life.Should I work hard to get a car(I don't think I need a car since I plan to dorm when I transfer)?What should I do with my closest friends(should I try to be into video games because that's like the one thing they're super into)?what should I do with my ex-girlfriend(I wanted to delete her on Facebook but I want to show that I'm stronger than her and that I have move on. Seriously, I feel like I'm competing against her. I don't care about relationships right now because I have not gotten that feeling to be someone yet.EEERRR,but I want to show that the day she left me was her biggest mistake(btw,the break up was on 2008)). I can wait to transfer out so I can finally meet some people with the same interest like me and possibly find a good girl that cares about me.
Singles & Dating - 1 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
It's a long read. First, don't look back. Stop thinking about the past three years. Instead focus on the next three years. About your friends: If your friends have different interests than yours, then try to look for new friends that shares the same interest as you are. Remember, birds of a same feather flocks together, so it's understandable that you will not be compelled to stick with your old friends. About your ex-girlfriend: Move on. Meet someone else. The easiest way to get him out of your mind is to meet someone else. About motivation: Set a goal. If you think you need to get a car to get yourself motivated, then do it. Don't let yourself get distracted by things. I recommend reading the link below to get you more motivated.
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Sunday, June 1, 2014
(A Lot to read but I need opinions!) What is the better solution for this predicament?
(A Lot to read but I need opinions!) What is the better solution for this predicament?
This question is about relationship issues, fyi. I am going 2 have 2 tell u a really long story in order 2 allow u 2 understand things better, because I am really needing opinions, all are welcome, ((yes I will still choose what I consider the best)) I am just wanted any & all view points. (I'm going 2 put names 2 some people so that it's easier 2 discuss this.) So a month ago I broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years. He was my first boyfriend, first kiss, first i love you, first partner. We met the end of our Jr. year in high school, things moved slowly at first and it all seemed perfect. After almost a year we were engaged. Had been engaged for a while when we broke up the 1st time because of complications in our relationship. A month later got back together to give it one last shot and mutually decided to end it. A while later I start finding out things about my ex that I had a feeling might be true but never really knew until one of his friends told me and a couple of my friends told me things. This friend of my ex's who told me had never previously tried to put moves on me, he was just nice & that's all. In fact he thought I hated him because my ex(Henry) made him think that. Well this friend of his (Vince) and I started casually talking and before we knew it we were enthralled in deep conversation. So we moved it from facebook to skype and got on the next day and video chatted as well ((Vince is in the military so he is at a base across seas right now)) Before long we had feelings for each other and I was beaming! All I could think about was him and no other guy crossed my mind, I wasn't even interested in any other. So after about a week of talking I decided that since I was basically already being loyal to him that we'd put a bf/gf label on it. After a while things started hitting me like the fact that I was betrayed by Henry for a while and didn't even know it and started doubting my relationship with Vince. It is just hard to maintain that kind of relationship sometimes (keep in mind that we never felt anything for each other before now, so I don't even know what it'd be like in person with him because feelings change everything) Vince is the kind of guy that he is blunt, can be jerky but it's part of his nature and sometimes his charm, but he has a surprising sweet side. I think our personalities are a lot alike! When I think back on Henry and I, we really didn't have much personality traits in common, we shared similar values and had alike histories, but thats really it. I felt so much of a spark with Vince right off the get go. He frustrates me like hell sometimes! And we've already duked it out over skype and we've only been talking a couple weeks lol! Yet I still come back for more :P I don't get it either sometimes. What makes things difficult is we have a 7 hr times difference. Also, I am only 20 and haven't had my own freedom yet. I am leaving a juco this may and transferring to a university where I will be living in a dorm instead of my parent's house. I have been needing and wanting my freedom for a looong time! I am the oldest and have had so much been asked out of me when I was younger. Vince doesn't come home till around July - September and is only home a month. So I would either not be at the university yet, or will only have been there a short time. When Vince comes back we had planned on getting to know each other more and hanging out a lot. So I guess my point is another fear is what if I meet someone at the university while I'm with him. . .and will being with Vince affect my freedom? Vince will be home again the following April. See the thing is, Vince is amazing. . .where as Henry was really possessive and smothering, Vince is really not. He has great advice, he is level headed when he needs to be. He makes me laugh, makes me open up, be a bit daring, frustrates me all the time! He's seen me cry and comforted me even while being thousands of miles away, and he is good to me. . . Right now the dilemma is that I am not sure about if I am ready to commit again, I know it seems so soon, but at the same time this feels right, him and I seem to fit and I am SO excited for him to come home and to meet his family because he talks about them all the time. But at the same time, I wonder if I am not being fair to myself. . .am I not giving myself enough time to be free. The thing is, as long as I am under my parents' roof I can't be free. . .but I can't move out yet because I am not financially sound yet. I am just afraid that if I tell him to post pone our relationship (which would pretty much mean no talking anymore) that I'll lose that chance with him later. So idk whether to go w/the safer smarter choice of waiting. . .or if I should risk getting hurt and such for something that I hope to develop into something more! What are some opinions you all have? I don't know if I mad
Other - Family & Relationships - 1 Answers
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1 :
Just go with it. You may get hurt, but if you don't do it now you will never know what would have happened. If you don't do it you may regret it later.
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This question is about relationship issues, fyi. I am going 2 have 2 tell u a really long story in order 2 allow u 2 understand things better, because I am really needing opinions, all are welcome, ((yes I will still choose what I consider the best)) I am just wanted any & all view points. (I'm going 2 put names 2 some people so that it's easier 2 discuss this.) So a month ago I broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years. He was my first boyfriend, first kiss, first i love you, first partner. We met the end of our Jr. year in high school, things moved slowly at first and it all seemed perfect. After almost a year we were engaged. Had been engaged for a while when we broke up the 1st time because of complications in our relationship. A month later got back together to give it one last shot and mutually decided to end it. A while later I start finding out things about my ex that I had a feeling might be true but never really knew until one of his friends told me and a couple of my friends told me things. This friend of my ex's who told me had never previously tried to put moves on me, he was just nice & that's all. In fact he thought I hated him because my ex(Henry) made him think that. Well this friend of his (Vince) and I started casually talking and before we knew it we were enthralled in deep conversation. So we moved it from facebook to skype and got on the next day and video chatted as well ((Vince is in the military so he is at a base across seas right now)) Before long we had feelings for each other and I was beaming! All I could think about was him and no other guy crossed my mind, I wasn't even interested in any other. So after about a week of talking I decided that since I was basically already being loyal to him that we'd put a bf/gf label on it. After a while things started hitting me like the fact that I was betrayed by Henry for a while and didn't even know it and started doubting my relationship with Vince. It is just hard to maintain that kind of relationship sometimes (keep in mind that we never felt anything for each other before now, so I don't even know what it'd be like in person with him because feelings change everything) Vince is the kind of guy that he is blunt, can be jerky but it's part of his nature and sometimes his charm, but he has a surprising sweet side. I think our personalities are a lot alike! When I think back on Henry and I, we really didn't have much personality traits in common, we shared similar values and had alike histories, but thats really it. I felt so much of a spark with Vince right off the get go. He frustrates me like hell sometimes! And we've already duked it out over skype and we've only been talking a couple weeks lol! Yet I still come back for more :P I don't get it either sometimes. What makes things difficult is we have a 7 hr times difference. Also, I am only 20 and haven't had my own freedom yet. I am leaving a juco this may and transferring to a university where I will be living in a dorm instead of my parent's house. I have been needing and wanting my freedom for a looong time! I am the oldest and have had so much been asked out of me when I was younger. Vince doesn't come home till around July - September and is only home a month. So I would either not be at the university yet, or will only have been there a short time. When Vince comes back we had planned on getting to know each other more and hanging out a lot. So I guess my point is another fear is what if I meet someone at the university while I'm with him. . .and will being with Vince affect my freedom? Vince will be home again the following April. See the thing is, Vince is amazing. . .where as Henry was really possessive and smothering, Vince is really not. He has great advice, he is level headed when he needs to be. He makes me laugh, makes me open up, be a bit daring, frustrates me all the time! He's seen me cry and comforted me even while being thousands of miles away, and he is good to me. . . Right now the dilemma is that I am not sure about if I am ready to commit again, I know it seems so soon, but at the same time this feels right, him and I seem to fit and I am SO excited for him to come home and to meet his family because he talks about them all the time. But at the same time, I wonder if I am not being fair to myself. . .am I not giving myself enough time to be free. The thing is, as long as I am under my parents' roof I can't be free. . .but I can't move out yet because I am not financially sound yet. I am just afraid that if I tell him to post pone our relationship (which would pretty much mean no talking anymore) that I'll lose that chance with him later. So idk whether to go w/the safer smarter choice of waiting. . .or if I should risk getting hurt and such for something that I hope to develop into something more! What are some opinions you all have? I don't know if I mad
Other - Family & Relationships - 1 Answers
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1 :
Just go with it. You may get hurt, but if you don't do it now you will never know what would have happened. If you don't do it you may regret it later.
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Wednesday, May 28, 2014
What should I do about this girl? Please help me, ladies?
What should I do about this girl? Please help me, ladies?
So, I'm a guy going to be a sophomore in high school next year, and there's this girl who's going to be a freshman in high school next year. (At the same school) The reason I even talked to her in the first place was because she's allowing me to style her hair. (She also knows that I'm straight). As of right now, we've actually been getting along really well. We both love music and playing instruments, and we're both nerds when it comes to video games and things like that. Recently, though, things have been getting interesting. We've been talking about things that she wouldn't normally discuss with other people, and she told me that she trusts me though she barely knows me. I told her that she was cute, and she said that though she didn't show it, that it meant a lot that I said that. Finally, she said that she likes me, but not in a romantic sort of way, but she had a boyfriend at the time that she said that. I told her how I feel (to a point), but she has yet to respond to my message. I just saw on Facebook that she is single, so maybe my message affected something. She still hasn't responded, and I don't know what to do so I don't mess up. What should I do?
Singles & Dating - 1 Answers
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Be yourself and talk to her normally for now. Make her laugh and suggest to hang out sometime. When the time is right ask her about her boyfriend, depending on her answer say to her that you hope she can be happy with someone because you think she is amazing and deserves someone good. Try and do it in person and give her a smile and look into her eyes and she might just fall for you! Good luck!
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So, I'm a guy going to be a sophomore in high school next year, and there's this girl who's going to be a freshman in high school next year. (At the same school) The reason I even talked to her in the first place was because she's allowing me to style her hair. (She also knows that I'm straight). As of right now, we've actually been getting along really well. We both love music and playing instruments, and we're both nerds when it comes to video games and things like that. Recently, though, things have been getting interesting. We've been talking about things that she wouldn't normally discuss with other people, and she told me that she trusts me though she barely knows me. I told her that she was cute, and she said that though she didn't show it, that it meant a lot that I said that. Finally, she said that she likes me, but not in a romantic sort of way, but she had a boyfriend at the time that she said that. I told her how I feel (to a point), but she has yet to respond to my message. I just saw on Facebook that she is single, so maybe my message affected something. She still hasn't responded, and I don't know what to do so I don't mess up. What should I do?
Singles & Dating - 1 Answers
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1 :
Be yourself and talk to her normally for now. Make her laugh and suggest to hang out sometime. When the time is right ask her about her boyfriend, depending on her answer say to her that you hope she can be happy with someone because you think she is amazing and deserves someone good. Try and do it in person and give her a smile and look into her eyes and she might just fall for you! Good luck!
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Wednesday, May 14, 2014
How do you get over someone you love? Help me figure things out...?
How do you get over someone you love? Help me figure things out...?
I'm going to be brutally honest in this post...I'm 19 and I have been dating my girlfriend since I was a senior in high school. We broke up 2 months ago after dating for a little over a year and I admit I'm still not over her. I had the best summer of my life last year with her. We were in love. She's beautiful, funny, and we just get along so well. However, we started having problems when she went away to college. I chose to stay close to home and go to our flagship state school on a scholarship. She picked a school about 4 hours away from home. To make things more difficult, I chose to stay home my first year and save money, while she obviously dormed at her new school. We lasted until April, and when there was only a couple weeks left in the year...she dumped me. I was so surprised, but i took it mildly well at first. We kept talking and texting regularly, it honestly felt like we were still dating even though we had just broken off our relationship. The way she broke up with me though...was simply terrible... She chatted me on facebook, of all things, and explained to me how things were too hard and she was doing bad in school, and we needed to take a break...I agreed to it...though I was upset and hurt obviously .4 days later, she was begging me to take her back and i told her we could talk about it that weekend. However...the night before we were supposed to talk...she kissed another guy...sober. She told me the next morning and I was upset and pissed. I told her we're done, but then she started threatening suicide...which scared the shit out of me, so of course, being the pushover to her I am, I took her back out of desperation. 3 days later...she dumped me again... We talked on and off until summer came...and then the night she came home I took her and some friends out to a party. We both got really drunk, and we hooked up. The next day she told me she wanted to get back together with me, but I was still hurt at that point. I told her we could discuss it after I finished my finals. She agreed and we hungout that week, fooling around and behaving like bf and gf basically... However, after finals, we just never talked about a relationship again. We still hungout for another week or so after that, but then, all of a sudden, we just stopped talking. I started to miss her a lot... I didn't text her though...idk if it was because I wanted to give her some space, or just out of sheer pride, but I didn't talk to her for a few weeks. Then she started texting me out of the blue like we were just friends and nothing ever happened. It was confusing and hurtful to me... I had no idea what was going on. Anyways, yesterday we hungout just the two of us for the first time in months. It's apparent that she is over me, and I am no where near over her. We talked a little about our relationship, but nothing major. She said the reason we broke up was distance and that we're too young. But is 19 really too young still? I know it's young...but I mean I have friends only a couple years older than me that are engaged... She also told me that she's transferring back to the area after next year or possibly next semester. I was surprised and didn't really know what to say to that. I've just never felt this depressed over someone. I feel lonely, hurt, used...it's pathetic but I can't shake the feeling. I understand people breakup when they go to college...but it's just so confusing how everything is transpiring between us. What should I do? I still care about her so much... I even took her out and bought her food and then went down on her for an hour last night... and the sad thing is, I want to do that again just so I can see her... I've never been this much of a mess over anyone before in my life. Should I keep seeing her and treating her well in hopes she'll want me back? Or should I cut her out of my life completely? Or should I just try to stay friends with her and look forward to dorming and meeting new people next year? I need help.
Singles & Dating - 1 Answers
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1 :
Honey, its completely normal to feel depressed and upset after a breakup. But in all honesty, you need to move on with your life. Let yourself cry, scream, punch a bag, run, do what you need to let out the hurt and frustration and confusion. Do NOT go back with her. She is playing games with you because she is insecure and wants to have control over you. She likes playing these games with you b/c she knows she can come back to you if she needs to/ can't find anything better. You are last on her list now, and you need to man up and say its over. SHE WILL NEVER WANT YOU BACK. And if she does, it's to use you. There's a reason why you broke up. Maybe the reasons on the surface are a bit muddled, but deep underneath in the back of her mind, something has decided that things aren't going to work and she doesn't want to be committed to you the way you are committed to her. That's no way to have a relationship. It's hard to let go, I know. I was in a 1 yr relationship and was dumped through a text message. We tried to be friends but things got messy. It's over now, and you have to accept it. Pick up a new hobby and hang out with your guy friends. Take some time away from the dating world so you don't make the mistake of picking up a rebound girl. Then, once you are over her, go out there and find the girl that you deserve, b/c she's is so totally not it. best of luck.
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I'm going to be brutally honest in this post...I'm 19 and I have been dating my girlfriend since I was a senior in high school. We broke up 2 months ago after dating for a little over a year and I admit I'm still not over her. I had the best summer of my life last year with her. We were in love. She's beautiful, funny, and we just get along so well. However, we started having problems when she went away to college. I chose to stay close to home and go to our flagship state school on a scholarship. She picked a school about 4 hours away from home. To make things more difficult, I chose to stay home my first year and save money, while she obviously dormed at her new school. We lasted until April, and when there was only a couple weeks left in the year...she dumped me. I was so surprised, but i took it mildly well at first. We kept talking and texting regularly, it honestly felt like we were still dating even though we had just broken off our relationship. The way she broke up with me though...was simply terrible... She chatted me on facebook, of all things, and explained to me how things were too hard and she was doing bad in school, and we needed to take a break...I agreed to it...though I was upset and hurt obviously .4 days later, she was begging me to take her back and i told her we could talk about it that weekend. However...the night before we were supposed to talk...she kissed another guy...sober. She told me the next morning and I was upset and pissed. I told her we're done, but then she started threatening suicide...which scared the shit out of me, so of course, being the pushover to her I am, I took her back out of desperation. 3 days later...she dumped me again... We talked on and off until summer came...and then the night she came home I took her and some friends out to a party. We both got really drunk, and we hooked up. The next day she told me she wanted to get back together with me, but I was still hurt at that point. I told her we could discuss it after I finished my finals. She agreed and we hungout that week, fooling around and behaving like bf and gf basically... However, after finals, we just never talked about a relationship again. We still hungout for another week or so after that, but then, all of a sudden, we just stopped talking. I started to miss her a lot... I didn't text her though...idk if it was because I wanted to give her some space, or just out of sheer pride, but I didn't talk to her for a few weeks. Then she started texting me out of the blue like we were just friends and nothing ever happened. It was confusing and hurtful to me... I had no idea what was going on. Anyways, yesterday we hungout just the two of us for the first time in months. It's apparent that she is over me, and I am no where near over her. We talked a little about our relationship, but nothing major. She said the reason we broke up was distance and that we're too young. But is 19 really too young still? I know it's young...but I mean I have friends only a couple years older than me that are engaged... She also told me that she's transferring back to the area after next year or possibly next semester. I was surprised and didn't really know what to say to that. I've just never felt this depressed over someone. I feel lonely, hurt, used...it's pathetic but I can't shake the feeling. I understand people breakup when they go to college...but it's just so confusing how everything is transpiring between us. What should I do? I still care about her so much... I even took her out and bought her food and then went down on her for an hour last night... and the sad thing is, I want to do that again just so I can see her... I've never been this much of a mess over anyone before in my life. Should I keep seeing her and treating her well in hopes she'll want me back? Or should I cut her out of my life completely? Or should I just try to stay friends with her and look forward to dorming and meeting new people next year? I need help.
Singles & Dating - 1 Answers
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Honey, its completely normal to feel depressed and upset after a breakup. But in all honesty, you need to move on with your life. Let yourself cry, scream, punch a bag, run, do what you need to let out the hurt and frustration and confusion. Do NOT go back with her. She is playing games with you because she is insecure and wants to have control over you. She likes playing these games with you b/c she knows she can come back to you if she needs to/ can't find anything better. You are last on her list now, and you need to man up and say its over. SHE WILL NEVER WANT YOU BACK. And if she does, it's to use you. There's a reason why you broke up. Maybe the reasons on the surface are a bit muddled, but deep underneath in the back of her mind, something has decided that things aren't going to work and she doesn't want to be committed to you the way you are committed to her. That's no way to have a relationship. It's hard to let go, I know. I was in a 1 yr relationship and was dumped through a text message. We tried to be friends but things got messy. It's over now, and you have to accept it. Pick up a new hobby and hang out with your guy friends. Take some time away from the dating world so you don't make the mistake of picking up a rebound girl. Then, once you are over her, go out there and find the girl that you deserve, b/c she's is so totally not it. best of luck.
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Wednesday, May 7, 2014
Help! I can't believe this has happened to me.
Help! I can't believe this has happened to me.
Help! He Broke My Heart! What should I do? My boyfriend lied to me and deeply hurt me! my boyfriend and i were on a break. he didnt call me for three weeks (he was at academic camp and needed to focus). i finally told him maybe we should just be friends. he got upset, asked if there was another guy, and said he still liked me. so i said fine but things needed to change. he said ok and asked if we were good. i said we were. today i log onto facebook and see a message from him. it's addressed to about 15 people and says he will not be coming back to my high school next year and that he is going to boarding school. he did not have the decency to tell me. i texted him, upset, and he said sorry i only told my best friend, (who is a girl by the way). i said sorry was ok when he canceled dates (he did that a lot) or when he didn't call. this was not sorry. how could he have falled to mention this? i am very hurt. we were friends for 2 years before we started dating and suddenly i'm his girlfriend and i'm part of the other people catagory. he said he'd call later. while we were friends i was always there for him. i'm a caring person. i dodn't know what to. he was my first real boyfriend. he wants to be friends, but i don't trust him and i have lost respect for him. i told him last night i thought he acted like a jerk in the scenario. he said he wasn't and promised to call tonight to discuss it. i don't see the point. when would we see each other as friends? i'm ready to move on. if he calls (which he prob won't) what do i say? but mostly, am i right to be upset? He hurt me so much.
Singles & Dating - 1 Answers
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1 :
Maybe he was trying not to hurt you. Did you ever think of that? That maybe it was too hard for him to tell you in person because he'd cry too. I think he did it to protect you and himself, not hurt you. He might not have wanted to make it any harder than he could've, so he sent you the message on facebook.
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Help! He Broke My Heart! What should I do? My boyfriend lied to me and deeply hurt me! my boyfriend and i were on a break. he didnt call me for three weeks (he was at academic camp and needed to focus). i finally told him maybe we should just be friends. he got upset, asked if there was another guy, and said he still liked me. so i said fine but things needed to change. he said ok and asked if we were good. i said we were. today i log onto facebook and see a message from him. it's addressed to about 15 people and says he will not be coming back to my high school next year and that he is going to boarding school. he did not have the decency to tell me. i texted him, upset, and he said sorry i only told my best friend, (who is a girl by the way). i said sorry was ok when he canceled dates (he did that a lot) or when he didn't call. this was not sorry. how could he have falled to mention this? i am very hurt. we were friends for 2 years before we started dating and suddenly i'm his girlfriend and i'm part of the other people catagory. he said he'd call later. while we were friends i was always there for him. i'm a caring person. i dodn't know what to. he was my first real boyfriend. he wants to be friends, but i don't trust him and i have lost respect for him. i told him last night i thought he acted like a jerk in the scenario. he said he wasn't and promised to call tonight to discuss it. i don't see the point. when would we see each other as friends? i'm ready to move on. if he calls (which he prob won't) what do i say? but mostly, am i right to be upset? He hurt me so much.
Singles & Dating - 1 Answers
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1 :
Maybe he was trying not to hurt you. Did you ever think of that? That maybe it was too hard for him to tell you in person because he'd cry too. I think he did it to protect you and himself, not hurt you. He might not have wanted to make it any harder than he could've, so he sent you the message on facebook.
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Thursday, May 1, 2014
Do I Have A Right To Be Angry at My Ex?
Do I Have A Right To Be Angry at My Ex?
What should I do? My boyfriend lied to me and deeply hurt me! my boyfriend and i were on a break. he didnt call me for three weeks (he was at academic camp and needed to focus). i finally told him maybe we should just be friends. he got upset, asked if there was another guy, and said he still liked me. so i said fine but things needed to change. he said ok and asked if we were good. i said we were. today i log onto facebook and see a message from him. it's addressed to about 15 people and says he will not be coming back to my high school next year and that he is going to boarding school. he did not have the decency to tell me. i texted him, upset, and he said sorry i only told my best friend, (who is a girl by the way). i said sorry was ok when he canceled dates (he did that a lot) or when he didn't call. this was not sorry. how could he have falled to mention this? i am very hurt. we were friends for 2 years before we started dating and suddenly i'm his girlfriend and i'm part of the other people catagory. he said he'd call later. while we were friends i was always there for him. i'm a caring person. i dodn't know what to. he was my first real boyfriend. he wants to be friends, but i don't trust him and i have lost respect for him. i told him last night i thought he acted like a jerk in the scenario. he said he wasn't and promised to call tonight to discuss it. i don't see the point. when would we see each other as friends? i'm ready to move on. if he calls (which he prob won't) what do i say? but mostly, am i right to be upset? everyone else is happy for him but i can't help but be incredibly angry.
Singles & Dating - 1 Answers
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1 :
hes a jerk. no, really. u have the right to be angry.. and if he calls.. well.. be normal, but not overly friendly nor hostile. if your overly friendly it seems ur trying to suck up and if ur angry it only shows u still care a great lot. So, in otherwords be nice and wish him luck at his new school (he'll need it with his personality) to let him know indirectly you're over him and you will NOT be totally hungover and turn into a friends with benefit. If you want to forget about him.. i recommend you to stop all contact because time fades things like this away and tell him dw about calling u everynight cos u'll be busy.. painting ur nails. He'll get the point.. haha goodluck
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What should I do? My boyfriend lied to me and deeply hurt me! my boyfriend and i were on a break. he didnt call me for three weeks (he was at academic camp and needed to focus). i finally told him maybe we should just be friends. he got upset, asked if there was another guy, and said he still liked me. so i said fine but things needed to change. he said ok and asked if we were good. i said we were. today i log onto facebook and see a message from him. it's addressed to about 15 people and says he will not be coming back to my high school next year and that he is going to boarding school. he did not have the decency to tell me. i texted him, upset, and he said sorry i only told my best friend, (who is a girl by the way). i said sorry was ok when he canceled dates (he did that a lot) or when he didn't call. this was not sorry. how could he have falled to mention this? i am very hurt. we were friends for 2 years before we started dating and suddenly i'm his girlfriend and i'm part of the other people catagory. he said he'd call later. while we were friends i was always there for him. i'm a caring person. i dodn't know what to. he was my first real boyfriend. he wants to be friends, but i don't trust him and i have lost respect for him. i told him last night i thought he acted like a jerk in the scenario. he said he wasn't and promised to call tonight to discuss it. i don't see the point. when would we see each other as friends? i'm ready to move on. if he calls (which he prob won't) what do i say? but mostly, am i right to be upset? everyone else is happy for him but i can't help but be incredibly angry.
Singles & Dating - 1 Answers
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1 :
hes a jerk. no, really. u have the right to be angry.. and if he calls.. well.. be normal, but not overly friendly nor hostile. if your overly friendly it seems ur trying to suck up and if ur angry it only shows u still care a great lot. So, in otherwords be nice and wish him luck at his new school (he'll need it with his personality) to let him know indirectly you're over him and you will NOT be totally hungover and turn into a friends with benefit. If you want to forget about him.. i recommend you to stop all contact because time fades things like this away and tell him dw about calling u everynight cos u'll be busy.. painting ur nails. He'll get the point.. haha goodluck
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Monday, April 28, 2014
From a guy's point of view, was this a ploy to get in my pants?
From a guy's point of view, was this a ploy to get in my pants?
This guy that I went to high school with found me on myspace, added me as a friend, then sent me a message saying, "Always wanted to talk to you in high school, but was too shy." I was shocked because I had no idea he even knew who I was. We didn't know each other back then and never talked. He kept wanting to get together, but I never said anything. Then I found out he was leaving that states to go overseas for a job, so I finally gave him my number. We went out, had dinner. Then the week after he texted me saying he as "horny." I texted back and said, "Me too." So, we had sex the second time we got together. The night before he left the states, he texted me again and asked me if I wanted to go down on him, I said I couldn't and that was that. He said that I could visit him and when he got back we could "discuss" it. I was keeping in touch with him on facebook and I was writing to him saying stuff how much I missed him, how are you, etc, etc. He said that he missed me too. At first he replied to my messages, then he stopped writing. Then as a joke I wrote him a comment on his page and said, "Where's your woman?" He got pissed and deleted me. I apologized and wouldn't take it back. Later he said the reason he deleted me was because I was being obsessive and posessive and everything that I've written to him proves that theory. I just wrote him messages that I missed him, happy holidays, if he liked the pictures that I posted. It wasn't like him to just cut me off like that. I found out that he got married last month. I had no idea he was seeing someone. He could've at least told me he was in a relationship, then I would've stopped writing. Guys, what do you think about this? Did just use me?
Singles & Dating - 7 Answers
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1 :
I've only read the first sentence and that's all I have to read to know that guy just totally used you.
2 :
Used you.
3 :
Get a grip, grow up, and think about whether any guy respects any girls with morals like yours.
4 :
What females need to understand is if a guy tries to get sexual with you before you date him then yes he is using you. if you like a guy and want to date then dont give it up until you know thats not all he wants.
5 :
unfortunately, yes i do think he used you. i'm so sorry hun. learn from your mistake and move on from him. he's a dead end. good luck!
6 :
Why are you banging guys you barely know on the 2nd date, that was your very first and huge mistake...It's nice when they tell you sweet things but just because you're both horny doesn't mean you have to have sex with a guy who says i wish i could have spoke to you when i was in high school. He used you and cheated on his hidden gf. What a great guy......
7 :
Yes...he used you...but you gave it up on the 2nd date...so..I think it all balances out. Just let it go, and learn not to drop your panties so early in a relationship, if you're gonna feel bad about it afterwards.
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This guy that I went to high school with found me on myspace, added me as a friend, then sent me a message saying, "Always wanted to talk to you in high school, but was too shy." I was shocked because I had no idea he even knew who I was. We didn't know each other back then and never talked. He kept wanting to get together, but I never said anything. Then I found out he was leaving that states to go overseas for a job, so I finally gave him my number. We went out, had dinner. Then the week after he texted me saying he as "horny." I texted back and said, "Me too." So, we had sex the second time we got together. The night before he left the states, he texted me again and asked me if I wanted to go down on him, I said I couldn't and that was that. He said that I could visit him and when he got back we could "discuss" it. I was keeping in touch with him on facebook and I was writing to him saying stuff how much I missed him, how are you, etc, etc. He said that he missed me too. At first he replied to my messages, then he stopped writing. Then as a joke I wrote him a comment on his page and said, "Where's your woman?" He got pissed and deleted me. I apologized and wouldn't take it back. Later he said the reason he deleted me was because I was being obsessive and posessive and everything that I've written to him proves that theory. I just wrote him messages that I missed him, happy holidays, if he liked the pictures that I posted. It wasn't like him to just cut me off like that. I found out that he got married last month. I had no idea he was seeing someone. He could've at least told me he was in a relationship, then I would've stopped writing. Guys, what do you think about this? Did just use me?
Singles & Dating - 7 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
I've only read the first sentence and that's all I have to read to know that guy just totally used you.
2 :
Used you.
3 :
Get a grip, grow up, and think about whether any guy respects any girls with morals like yours.
4 :
What females need to understand is if a guy tries to get sexual with you before you date him then yes he is using you. if you like a guy and want to date then dont give it up until you know thats not all he wants.
5 :
unfortunately, yes i do think he used you. i'm so sorry hun. learn from your mistake and move on from him. he's a dead end. good luck!
6 :
Why are you banging guys you barely know on the 2nd date, that was your very first and huge mistake...It's nice when they tell you sweet things but just because you're both horny doesn't mean you have to have sex with a guy who says i wish i could have spoke to you when i was in high school. He used you and cheated on his hidden gf. What a great guy......
7 :
Yes...he used you...but you gave it up on the 2nd date...so..I think it all balances out. Just let it go, and learn not to drop your panties so early in a relationship, if you're gonna feel bad about it afterwards.
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Monday, April 14, 2014
Should I risk opening connections with a guy I personally find annoying in order to set him up with my friend?
Should I risk opening connections with a guy I personally find annoying in order to set him up with my friend?
There's a guy. Let's call him John. John apparently had a big crush on me in high school and decided to friend me on Facebook about 6 years later and tell me. He has indicated interest in me now, I have told him I am not interested, and he rescinded his interest. Now he says he only ever wanted to be friends, but does not seem to get the (sometimes very blatant) hint that I do not want to be friends with him. I find him highly annoying and make no attempt to disguise this. He very frequently IMs me on Facebook just to say "hey" and then "what's up" (if I respond) without actually having anything further to discuss after that point. I am thisclose to just removing his ass from my friend list and telling him to never contact me again. However, I have this other good friend who we will call Debbie. Debbie is not an unattractive girl but she is what some people might also find to be somewhat annoying. I suspect I am her only good friend because she clings to me desperately in social situations and seems to rely entirely upon me in order to even have a social life. She could also really use a guy in her life, as she has low self esteem and is very shy with guys and I think it might give her some confidence to have some male attention for a little while. Also, for the love of god, the woman needs to get laid. So obviously it has occurred to me that I might be able to fix these two up. John would be off my back if he takes to Debbie, and Debbie would be a bit happier if the two of them hit it off. The problem is that I'm unsure as to how to go about this. It seems to me that the best, most polite thing to do would be to invite both of them out and introduce them in person. (A friend or two said I should just give them each other's contact info but that seems unclassy to me and I feel that would make it uncomfortable for her because she is quite shy.) But if it's just me and the two of them, I foresee him forgetting which of us he's with, and her shyly fading into the background, leaving him to think he is on a date with me! (Or even that I invited him as MY friend because I WANT to hang out with him.) There was another guy I was hoping I might be able to invite for myself by this point but that didn't exactly work out for me. There's another guy I'm currently scoping but I don't know how that's going to turn out either. So, should I just buck up and invite the two of them out with me and endure what will undoubtedly be an awkward situation for myself, or should I wait until I can invite a guy to hang out with ME leaving the two of them together? Or should I just invite another girl friend and tell her to stick with me? The other problem is that if I invite John I fear he will take that as some warped sign that I have some interest in him. In fact when I suggested that he might hit it off with my friend (when he was hitting on me) he was all, "OMG you really DO want to be friends with me, I'm so happy!!" I've already told him off in the past (and very bluntly told him I do NOT want to be friends) and yet he continued to IM me, sure that I would "come around" eventually and now he thinks I want to be friends. I do not want this guy to think I have any interest in a personal friendship with him but it could turn out to be a good thing for Debbie.
Etiquette - 1 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
I only read your initial question and will advise you not to play matchmaker. If usually ends in disaster. And judging by the length of your question, you don't need anymore problems.
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There's a guy. Let's call him John. John apparently had a big crush on me in high school and decided to friend me on Facebook about 6 years later and tell me. He has indicated interest in me now, I have told him I am not interested, and he rescinded his interest. Now he says he only ever wanted to be friends, but does not seem to get the (sometimes very blatant) hint that I do not want to be friends with him. I find him highly annoying and make no attempt to disguise this. He very frequently IMs me on Facebook just to say "hey" and then "what's up" (if I respond) without actually having anything further to discuss after that point. I am thisclose to just removing his ass from my friend list and telling him to never contact me again. However, I have this other good friend who we will call Debbie. Debbie is not an unattractive girl but she is what some people might also find to be somewhat annoying. I suspect I am her only good friend because she clings to me desperately in social situations and seems to rely entirely upon me in order to even have a social life. She could also really use a guy in her life, as she has low self esteem and is very shy with guys and I think it might give her some confidence to have some male attention for a little while. Also, for the love of god, the woman needs to get laid. So obviously it has occurred to me that I might be able to fix these two up. John would be off my back if he takes to Debbie, and Debbie would be a bit happier if the two of them hit it off. The problem is that I'm unsure as to how to go about this. It seems to me that the best, most polite thing to do would be to invite both of them out and introduce them in person. (A friend or two said I should just give them each other's contact info but that seems unclassy to me and I feel that would make it uncomfortable for her because she is quite shy.) But if it's just me and the two of them, I foresee him forgetting which of us he's with, and her shyly fading into the background, leaving him to think he is on a date with me! (Or even that I invited him as MY friend because I WANT to hang out with him.) There was another guy I was hoping I might be able to invite for myself by this point but that didn't exactly work out for me. There's another guy I'm currently scoping but I don't know how that's going to turn out either. So, should I just buck up and invite the two of them out with me and endure what will undoubtedly be an awkward situation for myself, or should I wait until I can invite a guy to hang out with ME leaving the two of them together? Or should I just invite another girl friend and tell her to stick with me? The other problem is that if I invite John I fear he will take that as some warped sign that I have some interest in him. In fact when I suggested that he might hit it off with my friend (when he was hitting on me) he was all, "OMG you really DO want to be friends with me, I'm so happy!!" I've already told him off in the past (and very bluntly told him I do NOT want to be friends) and yet he continued to IM me, sure that I would "come around" eventually and now he thinks I want to be friends. I do not want this guy to think I have any interest in a personal friendship with him but it could turn out to be a good thing for Debbie.
Etiquette - 1 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
I only read your initial question and will advise you not to play matchmaker. If usually ends in disaster. And judging by the length of your question, you don't need anymore problems.
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Monday, April 7, 2014
Being around my boyfriend makes me sad and irritated, what should I do at this point?
Being around my boyfriend makes me sad and irritated, what should I do at this point?
Hi, lately I've been having trouble with my boyfriend of 5 months. We began dating in high school and now we are in college together. He is Asian and I am white, and he joined an Asian club and now the majority of his friends are of Asian culture. That does not bother me whatsoever, but lately I've been having feelings of inadequacy. I feel like I don't belong and that I'm not good enough when I'm around his friends and him. Also, he's made friends with several Asian girls that he texts frequently and chats on facebook with. I know I shouldn't feel jealous or angry, but it seems like he's always texting this one particular girl. The other day we went to the library to study and he led me over to where said girl and her friend were studying and I was forced to sit there and try to study while they laughed and exchanged inside jokes and discussed classes that they all have together. It makes me so angry that he's been cavorting about with all these girls when I'm not around. I believe he's been to the library several times with that particular girl, and they've gotten private study rooms together. Now whenever I'm with him instead of being happy, I just think about him and these girls and I get upset and give him the cold shoulder. I'm mainly sad and depressed when I'm with him because I fear that he's going to leave me for someone better and of his own ethnicity. And I don't know what to do or say. Any suggestions?
Singles & Dating - 7 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
holy cow y is it so long...and break up with him he is not worth your time plz you need some one that makes you feel loved and you don't feel like your wasting your time on them..because think of all that time wasted on someone that you don't like and that gets u upset
2 :
Just because someone is of his own ethnicity, that does not make them better than you. I think that's the first thing you need to realize. I also think that you have a right to be a little bit concerned about his behavior if it's just one particular girl and you notice him being more and more into her. Do you feel like he has been distancing himself from you at all? Have you tried talking to him and telling him how you feel? Maybe you just need to be reassured by him that he still feels the same about you and that no one is going to be taking your place.
3 :
Why don't you make some friends. Join a club or something. Find a Unitarian Universalist church or something. You know get out, volunteer, do something or be somewhere with people who make you feel good. You sound like a nice person so you should meet nice people.
4 :
Probably time to move on. You might talking to him if you really like him, but I don't think that it will make much difference.
5 :
Tell your boyfriend how you are feeling and see how he responds. Then, give it a few weeks to see if things get any better and if they don't then maybe you should think about breaking up. You deserve to be happy. (But if you break up then don't be surprised if he starts dating one of these girls...that's usually how it goes)
6 :
Well, I'm sorry you are feeling so down about this. The best thing you could do, and probably the only thing you could do to solve this problem in your relationship, is to talk to him about how you are feeling. Hopefully you can find the words to tell him in a way that doesn't make him feel like you just don't want him happy. Explain your reasons in why you feel this way, and maybe he will open up to how he feels about the current situation. Communication is very, very important in a relationship, and it seems like yours need some.
7 :
I'm white and I'm dating a Filipino. Sometimes I feel the same way. I actually talked to my bf about it and he's like "I'm dating you. I don't an asian chick." Sometimes the comments he makes make me feel inferiorer even though they aren't even directed to me. Like he always mentions being Filipino - I was like well I never mention being ... French! He was like huh? Talk to him about it. See if he's cheating on you. Sometimes guys are dumb and don't realize how you feel. Lucky for me my bf understood what I was saying (it took a couple of times). If it doesn't work out maybe you two need to break up. Good luck.
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Hi, lately I've been having trouble with my boyfriend of 5 months. We began dating in high school and now we are in college together. He is Asian and I am white, and he joined an Asian club and now the majority of his friends are of Asian culture. That does not bother me whatsoever, but lately I've been having feelings of inadequacy. I feel like I don't belong and that I'm not good enough when I'm around his friends and him. Also, he's made friends with several Asian girls that he texts frequently and chats on facebook with. I know I shouldn't feel jealous or angry, but it seems like he's always texting this one particular girl. The other day we went to the library to study and he led me over to where said girl and her friend were studying and I was forced to sit there and try to study while they laughed and exchanged inside jokes and discussed classes that they all have together. It makes me so angry that he's been cavorting about with all these girls when I'm not around. I believe he's been to the library several times with that particular girl, and they've gotten private study rooms together. Now whenever I'm with him instead of being happy, I just think about him and these girls and I get upset and give him the cold shoulder. I'm mainly sad and depressed when I'm with him because I fear that he's going to leave me for someone better and of his own ethnicity. And I don't know what to do or say. Any suggestions?
Singles & Dating - 7 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
holy cow y is it so long...and break up with him he is not worth your time plz you need some one that makes you feel loved and you don't feel like your wasting your time on them..because think of all that time wasted on someone that you don't like and that gets u upset
2 :
Just because someone is of his own ethnicity, that does not make them better than you. I think that's the first thing you need to realize. I also think that you have a right to be a little bit concerned about his behavior if it's just one particular girl and you notice him being more and more into her. Do you feel like he has been distancing himself from you at all? Have you tried talking to him and telling him how you feel? Maybe you just need to be reassured by him that he still feels the same about you and that no one is going to be taking your place.
3 :
Why don't you make some friends. Join a club or something. Find a Unitarian Universalist church or something. You know get out, volunteer, do something or be somewhere with people who make you feel good. You sound like a nice person so you should meet nice people.
4 :
Probably time to move on. You might talking to him if you really like him, but I don't think that it will make much difference.
5 :
Tell your boyfriend how you are feeling and see how he responds. Then, give it a few weeks to see if things get any better and if they don't then maybe you should think about breaking up. You deserve to be happy. (But if you break up then don't be surprised if he starts dating one of these girls...that's usually how it goes)
6 :
Well, I'm sorry you are feeling so down about this. The best thing you could do, and probably the only thing you could do to solve this problem in your relationship, is to talk to him about how you are feeling. Hopefully you can find the words to tell him in a way that doesn't make him feel like you just don't want him happy. Explain your reasons in why you feel this way, and maybe he will open up to how he feels about the current situation. Communication is very, very important in a relationship, and it seems like yours need some.
7 :
I'm white and I'm dating a Filipino. Sometimes I feel the same way. I actually talked to my bf about it and he's like "I'm dating you. I don't an asian chick." Sometimes the comments he makes make me feel inferiorer even though they aren't even directed to me. Like he always mentions being Filipino - I was like well I never mention being ... French! He was like huh? Talk to him about it. See if he's cheating on you. Sometimes guys are dumb and don't realize how you feel. Lucky for me my bf understood what I was saying (it took a couple of times). If it doesn't work out maybe you two need to break up. Good luck.
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Tuesday, April 1, 2014
What do i do when first boyfriend broke my heart?
What do i do when first boyfriend broke my heart?
Help! He Broke My Heart! What should I do? My boyfriend lied to me and deeply hurt me! my boyfriend and i were on a break. he didnt call me for three weeks (he was at academic camp and needed to focus). i finally told him maybe we should just be friends. he got upset, asked if there was another guy, and said he still liked me. so i said fine but things needed to change. he said ok and asked if we were good. i said we were. today i log onto facebook and see a message from him. it's addressed to about 15 people and says he will not be coming back to my high school next year and that he is going to boarding school. he did not have the decency to tell me. i texted him, upset, and he said sorry i only told my best friend, (who is a girl by the way). i said sorry was ok when he canceled dates (he did that a lot) or when he didn't call. this was not sorry. how could he have falled to mention this? i am very hurt. we were friends for 2 years before we started dating and suddenly i'm his girlfriend and i'm part of the other people catagory. he said he'd call later. while we were friends i was always there for him. i'm a caring person. i dodn't know what to. he was my first real boyfriend. he wants to be friends, but i don't trust him and i have lost respect for him. i told him last night i thought he acted like a jerk in the scenario. he said he wasn't and promised to call tonight to discuss it. i don't see the point. when would we see each other as friends? i'm ready to move on. if he calls (which he prob won't) what do i say? but mostly, am i right to be upset?
Singles & Dating - 1 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Hi, Sounds like a real jerk, if he calls just say listen I'm through with all this, lets JUST be friends and thats all ok? And if he gets sad just remember all the stuff he did to you, because your better off just being friends with him if that. You deserve so much better! Good Luck! Hope I helped. =)
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Help! He Broke My Heart! What should I do? My boyfriend lied to me and deeply hurt me! my boyfriend and i were on a break. he didnt call me for three weeks (he was at academic camp and needed to focus). i finally told him maybe we should just be friends. he got upset, asked if there was another guy, and said he still liked me. so i said fine but things needed to change. he said ok and asked if we were good. i said we were. today i log onto facebook and see a message from him. it's addressed to about 15 people and says he will not be coming back to my high school next year and that he is going to boarding school. he did not have the decency to tell me. i texted him, upset, and he said sorry i only told my best friend, (who is a girl by the way). i said sorry was ok when he canceled dates (he did that a lot) or when he didn't call. this was not sorry. how could he have falled to mention this? i am very hurt. we were friends for 2 years before we started dating and suddenly i'm his girlfriend and i'm part of the other people catagory. he said he'd call later. while we were friends i was always there for him. i'm a caring person. i dodn't know what to. he was my first real boyfriend. he wants to be friends, but i don't trust him and i have lost respect for him. i told him last night i thought he acted like a jerk in the scenario. he said he wasn't and promised to call tonight to discuss it. i don't see the point. when would we see each other as friends? i'm ready to move on. if he calls (which he prob won't) what do i say? but mostly, am i right to be upset?
Singles & Dating - 1 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Hi, Sounds like a real jerk, if he calls just say listen I'm through with all this, lets JUST be friends and thats all ok? And if he gets sad just remember all the stuff he did to you, because your better off just being friends with him if that. You deserve so much better! Good Luck! Hope I helped. =)
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Friday, March 28, 2014
PLEASE ANSWER ! about schools & diciplinary action on facebook. need help !?
PLEASE ANSWER ! about schools & diciplinary action on facebook. need help !?
this is kind of a dramatic story but i need some insight. my friend "sarah" had been getting harassed by a girl named "kate" &when i say harassed i mean typical high school crap. snickering when she walks, by whispering when she passes them, ect. so the other day "sarah" got an i.s.s.(in school suspension) because she had enough of "kate" & her friends so "sarah" went up&asked why they were just whispering about her when she walked by. they totally denied it. even though they really did. &"sarah" was telling the she's had enough&accidentally let the f-bomb slip out. little did she know a teacher was behind her. the teacher asked why she was yelling at them. "sarah" told her the were making fun of her &again the girls denied it. so the teacher gave "sarah" an i.s.s. for cursing. that night in facebook "sarah" made a mean group about "kate" i saw this group in my news feed& wrote on "sarahs" walll. "did you make that page about 'kate' ?" she told me she did&told me that "kate" made her get an i.s.s. because she cursed at "kate". i thought she meant "kate" told on her. (btw "sarah" is one of my friends) so i said "WOW. what a ***** ! shes so pathetic. i can;t believe she tattled on you. what is she 5 ?!?!" & to which "sarah" replied "no there was a teacher behind me. she told the teacher she didnt do anything so i got in trouble" &i said "ooohhh. well its stall really pathetic that she didnt own up to it. why is there so much drama ? UGH" &went to bed for the night. the next day at school i was called down to the principals office. she told me that one of "kates" friends printed out&brought in me&"sarahs" convo. &she ended up calling my parents&writing me up. also she told me i am to have no communication with "kate" (even though ive never talked to her in my life !) face to face or on the internet AND i wasnt allowd to even TALK about "kate" at school or anywhere else. i find this TOTALLY out of line&unfair. not only was i on the computer. never saying ANYTHING to "kate" &what i said was never discussed in school or anything. she has no right what to tell me about what i an or cant say on my own time&when im at home. not even on school grounds.AND she told me i cant talk about her OUTSIDE of school. thats a violation of my freedom of speech! but back to the point. she had NO RIGHT to discipline me for things that had nothing to do with school (at least the part i participated in). its now on my permanant record marked as "inappropriate behavior" and could hurt my chances of getting into college in the future. so basically do oyu think its fair i was disciplined about something that happened on facebook&i did nothing wrong in school. (btw. i never threatened her or anything at all. im being punised for EXACTLY what was typed previously. nothing more.)
Other - Education - 1 Answers
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1 :
No. I would have my parents to talk to the principal and the superintendant. I would also have a lawyer to talk to the principle if push comes to shove. You do have freedom of speech, as long as you didn't do it in school you should be ok. I would have a conference with parents/lawyer if I were you. Mean while lay low and don't say anything to her.
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this is kind of a dramatic story but i need some insight. my friend "sarah" had been getting harassed by a girl named "kate" &when i say harassed i mean typical high school crap. snickering when she walks, by whispering when she passes them, ect. so the other day "sarah" got an i.s.s.(in school suspension) because she had enough of "kate" & her friends so "sarah" went up&asked why they were just whispering about her when she walked by. they totally denied it. even though they really did. &"sarah" was telling the she's had enough&accidentally let the f-bomb slip out. little did she know a teacher was behind her. the teacher asked why she was yelling at them. "sarah" told her the were making fun of her &again the girls denied it. so the teacher gave "sarah" an i.s.s. for cursing. that night in facebook "sarah" made a mean group about "kate" i saw this group in my news feed& wrote on "sarahs" walll. "did you make that page about 'kate' ?" she told me she did&told me that "kate" made her get an i.s.s. because she cursed at "kate". i thought she meant "kate" told on her. (btw "sarah" is one of my friends) so i said "WOW. what a ***** ! shes so pathetic. i can;t believe she tattled on you. what is she 5 ?!?!" & to which "sarah" replied "no there was a teacher behind me. she told the teacher she didnt do anything so i got in trouble" &i said "ooohhh. well its stall really pathetic that she didnt own up to it. why is there so much drama ? UGH" &went to bed for the night. the next day at school i was called down to the principals office. she told me that one of "kates" friends printed out&brought in me&"sarahs" convo. &she ended up calling my parents&writing me up. also she told me i am to have no communication with "kate" (even though ive never talked to her in my life !) face to face or on the internet AND i wasnt allowd to even TALK about "kate" at school or anywhere else. i find this TOTALLY out of line&unfair. not only was i on the computer. never saying ANYTHING to "kate" &what i said was never discussed in school or anything. she has no right what to tell me about what i an or cant say on my own time&when im at home. not even on school grounds.AND she told me i cant talk about her OUTSIDE of school. thats a violation of my freedom of speech! but back to the point. she had NO RIGHT to discipline me for things that had nothing to do with school (at least the part i participated in). its now on my permanant record marked as "inappropriate behavior" and could hurt my chances of getting into college in the future. so basically do oyu think its fair i was disciplined about something that happened on facebook&i did nothing wrong in school. (btw. i never threatened her or anything at all. im being punised for EXACTLY what was typed previously. nothing more.)
Other - Education - 1 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
No. I would have my parents to talk to the principal and the superintendant. I would also have a lawyer to talk to the principle if push comes to shove. You do have freedom of speech, as long as you didn't do it in school you should be ok. I would have a conference with parents/lawyer if I were you. Mean while lay low and don't say anything to her.
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PLEASE ANSWER ! about schools & diciplinary action on facebook. need help !?
PLEASE ANSWER ! about schools & diciplinary action on facebook. need help !?
this is kind of a dramatic story but i need some insight. my friend "sarah" had been getting harassed by a girl named "kate" &when i say harassed i mean typical high school crap. snickering when she walks, by whispering when she passes them, ect. so the other day "sarah" got an i.s.s.(in school suspension) because she had enough of "kate" & her friends so "sarah" went up&asked why they were just whispering about her when she walked by. they totally denied it. even though they really did. &"sarah" was telling the she's had enough&accidentally let the f-bomb slip out. little did she know a teacher was behind her. the teacher asked why she was yelling at them. "sarah" told her the were making fun of her &again the girls denied it. so the teacher gave "sarah" an i.s.s. for cursing. that night in facebook "sarah" made a mean group about "kate" i saw this group in my news feed& wrote on "sarahs" walll. "did you make that page about 'kate' ?" she told me she did&told me that "kate" made her get an i.s.s. because she cursed at "kate". i thought she meant "kate" told on her. (btw "sarah" is one of my friends) so i said "WOW. what a ***** ! shes so pathetic. i can;t believe she tattled on you. what is she 5 ?!?!" & to which "sarah" replied "no there was a teacher behind me. she told the teacher she didnt do anything so i got in trouble" &i said "ooohhh. well its stall really pathetic that she didnt own up to it. why is there so much drama ? UGH" &went to bed for the night. the next day at school i was called down to the principals office. she told me that one of "kates" friends printed out&brought in me&"sarahs" convo. &she ended up calling my parents&writing me up. also she told me i am to have no communication with "kate" (even though ive never talked to her in my life !) face to face or on the internet AND i wasnt allowd to even TALK about "kate" at school or anywhere else. i find this TOTALLY out of line&unfair. not only was i on the computer. never saying ANYTHING to "kate" &what i said was never discussed in school or anything. she has no right what to tell me about what i an or cant say on my own time&when im at home. not even on school grounds.AND she told me i cant talk about her OUTSIDE of school. thats a violation of my freedom of speech! but back to the point. she had NO RIGHT to discipline me for things that had nothing to do with school (at least the part i participated in). its now on my permanant record marked as "inappropriate behavior" and could hurt my chances of getting into college in the future. so basically do oyu think its fair i was disciplined about something that happened on facebook&i did nothing wrong in school. (btw. i never threatened her or anything at all. im being punised for EXACTLY what was typed previously. nothing more.)
Other - Education - 1 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
No. I would have my parents to talk to the principal and the superintendant. I would also have a lawyer to talk to the principle if push comes to shove. You do have freedom of speech, as long as you didn't do it in school you should be ok. I would have a conference with parents/lawyer if I were you. Mean while lay low and don't say anything to her.
Read more other entries :
this is kind of a dramatic story but i need some insight. my friend "sarah" had been getting harassed by a girl named "kate" &when i say harassed i mean typical high school crap. snickering when she walks, by whispering when she passes them, ect. so the other day "sarah" got an i.s.s.(in school suspension) because she had enough of "kate" & her friends so "sarah" went up&asked why they were just whispering about her when she walked by. they totally denied it. even though they really did. &"sarah" was telling the she's had enough&accidentally let the f-bomb slip out. little did she know a teacher was behind her. the teacher asked why she was yelling at them. "sarah" told her the were making fun of her &again the girls denied it. so the teacher gave "sarah" an i.s.s. for cursing. that night in facebook "sarah" made a mean group about "kate" i saw this group in my news feed& wrote on "sarahs" walll. "did you make that page about 'kate' ?" she told me she did&told me that "kate" made her get an i.s.s. because she cursed at "kate". i thought she meant "kate" told on her. (btw "sarah" is one of my friends) so i said "WOW. what a ***** ! shes so pathetic. i can;t believe she tattled on you. what is she 5 ?!?!" & to which "sarah" replied "no there was a teacher behind me. she told the teacher she didnt do anything so i got in trouble" &i said "ooohhh. well its stall really pathetic that she didnt own up to it. why is there so much drama ? UGH" &went to bed for the night. the next day at school i was called down to the principals office. she told me that one of "kates" friends printed out&brought in me&"sarahs" convo. &she ended up calling my parents&writing me up. also she told me i am to have no communication with "kate" (even though ive never talked to her in my life !) face to face or on the internet AND i wasnt allowd to even TALK about "kate" at school or anywhere else. i find this TOTALLY out of line&unfair. not only was i on the computer. never saying ANYTHING to "kate" &what i said was never discussed in school or anything. she has no right what to tell me about what i an or cant say on my own time&when im at home. not even on school grounds.AND she told me i cant talk about her OUTSIDE of school. thats a violation of my freedom of speech! but back to the point. she had NO RIGHT to discipline me for things that had nothing to do with school (at least the part i participated in). its now on my permanant record marked as "inappropriate behavior" and could hurt my chances of getting into college in the future. so basically do oyu think its fair i was disciplined about something that happened on facebook&i did nothing wrong in school. (btw. i never threatened her or anything at all. im being punised for EXACTLY what was typed previously. nothing more.)
Other - Education - 1 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
No. I would have my parents to talk to the principal and the superintendant. I would also have a lawyer to talk to the principle if push comes to shove. You do have freedom of speech, as long as you didn't do it in school you should be ok. I would have a conference with parents/lawyer if I were you. Mean while lay low and don't say anything to her.
Read more other entries :
Friday, March 14, 2014
What is the point in even chasing women anymore?
What is the point in even chasing women anymore?
Well, I had been chatting to a girl that was in my Spanish class in college over Facebook and sending texts between each other. Here's the story: We were good friends, like she was very quiet and shy in class but I was the only one besides her female friend who had any time for her, but I enjoyed her company. We used to walk home from college and talk and laugh about stuff, at that time she had a boyfriend so I thought, "OK, we will remain friends, no problem." But over the Internet and the phone, we chatted deep about things, so I thought that we must have had a good rapport because some of the things she was telling me were very sensitive issues. I told her how beautiful she is and so we planned to go out together on the Saturday night two days ago. I suggested why not a restaurat; she suggested going out together for a drink, well, fair enough. After getting ready and knocking at her house, she opened the door, and she was just absolutely stunning! I was surprised by how much effort she put into her appearance, you know, going out as friends and all. So, we talked and laughed, she knew anyway that I fancied her. The night well was going really well. I grabbed a bite to eat first because I had no dinner, and then we hit the bars in town; we bought each other drinks, so I knew that we were going out as friends. Throughout the night, she was talking to me about how much of an ar*sehole her ex-boyfriend was, and she wanted to cut all contact with him, so I reassured her that she was too good for him. However, I then stated, "You know all you women, you come moaning to people about the bad guys in your life, whether it be your boyfriend, your ex, your dad etc, so why don't you lot ever try a honest, straightforward guy for once. Look, I'm no angel, but with me, you know where you stand." From then, we still had fun together throughout the night, but she was letting me hold her and we were close together, almost like the chemistry was building between us. Then, she was getting quite drunk whilst I was still relatively sober, she didn't even know where she was for God's sake!!!!! Because she was drunk, I became very weary of other guys trying to take advantage and use her just for sex. One guy drunk and high on cocaine then started grabbing her. She didn't really respond, but didn't tell him to get away either. I went in between them as if I was waiting at the bar, and got punched in the face!!! So, we left. Here's where it really hurts deep. We walked to the police officers on patrol in the street, and she was saying to me that it wasn't my place to protect her and under the supervision of the officers, scuttled off and got a taxi home without asking if I wanted a lift home. Because the police are horrible bastar**ds, they just let her go and told me to go home. I had no money left for a taxi, so I had to walk 8 miles back home!!! Feeling angry, I knocked at her house, at about 4:30am, and discussed with her mother about the night out; she was just drunk and asleep. Her mum and dad came across as decent, law-abiding citizens, so I had a lot of respect for them. Even her mum said us two going out as friends was a bad idea, so she didn't even have a biased view of the situation. The next day, she had deleted her Facebook profile, and hadn't even said sorry! I know that if I knocked at her house to try to discuss things between the two of us, I would probably get harrassment charges put against me. Basically, she's just being a coward and protected. Even my mum and her boyfriend haven't given me much consolidation, they're just pointing out at my faults! I'm only 19, never had a proper girlfriend before, have Asperger's Syndrome, so social situations are extremely difficult for me anyway, and she was the only girl with who I felt that I could be my nerdy, cheeky self around. I'm so fuckin'8 depressed.
Singles & Dating - 1 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Why don't you try to see her again because you still have the chance to see her. I don't think she would press harassment charges on you because you are good person and I hope she knows that.
Read more other entries :
Well, I had been chatting to a girl that was in my Spanish class in college over Facebook and sending texts between each other. Here's the story: We were good friends, like she was very quiet and shy in class but I was the only one besides her female friend who had any time for her, but I enjoyed her company. We used to walk home from college and talk and laugh about stuff, at that time she had a boyfriend so I thought, "OK, we will remain friends, no problem." But over the Internet and the phone, we chatted deep about things, so I thought that we must have had a good rapport because some of the things she was telling me were very sensitive issues. I told her how beautiful she is and so we planned to go out together on the Saturday night two days ago. I suggested why not a restaurat; she suggested going out together for a drink, well, fair enough. After getting ready and knocking at her house, she opened the door, and she was just absolutely stunning! I was surprised by how much effort she put into her appearance, you know, going out as friends and all. So, we talked and laughed, she knew anyway that I fancied her. The night well was going really well. I grabbed a bite to eat first because I had no dinner, and then we hit the bars in town; we bought each other drinks, so I knew that we were going out as friends. Throughout the night, she was talking to me about how much of an ar*sehole her ex-boyfriend was, and she wanted to cut all contact with him, so I reassured her that she was too good for him. However, I then stated, "You know all you women, you come moaning to people about the bad guys in your life, whether it be your boyfriend, your ex, your dad etc, so why don't you lot ever try a honest, straightforward guy for once. Look, I'm no angel, but with me, you know where you stand." From then, we still had fun together throughout the night, but she was letting me hold her and we were close together, almost like the chemistry was building between us. Then, she was getting quite drunk whilst I was still relatively sober, she didn't even know where she was for God's sake!!!!! Because she was drunk, I became very weary of other guys trying to take advantage and use her just for sex. One guy drunk and high on cocaine then started grabbing her. She didn't really respond, but didn't tell him to get away either. I went in between them as if I was waiting at the bar, and got punched in the face!!! So, we left. Here's where it really hurts deep. We walked to the police officers on patrol in the street, and she was saying to me that it wasn't my place to protect her and under the supervision of the officers, scuttled off and got a taxi home without asking if I wanted a lift home. Because the police are horrible bastar**ds, they just let her go and told me to go home. I had no money left for a taxi, so I had to walk 8 miles back home!!! Feeling angry, I knocked at her house, at about 4:30am, and discussed with her mother about the night out; she was just drunk and asleep. Her mum and dad came across as decent, law-abiding citizens, so I had a lot of respect for them. Even her mum said us two going out as friends was a bad idea, so she didn't even have a biased view of the situation. The next day, she had deleted her Facebook profile, and hadn't even said sorry! I know that if I knocked at her house to try to discuss things between the two of us, I would probably get harrassment charges put against me. Basically, she's just being a coward and protected. Even my mum and her boyfriend haven't given me much consolidation, they're just pointing out at my faults! I'm only 19, never had a proper girlfriend before, have Asperger's Syndrome, so social situations are extremely difficult for me anyway, and she was the only girl with who I felt that I could be my nerdy, cheeky self around. I'm so fuckin'8 depressed.
Singles & Dating - 1 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Why don't you try to see her again because you still have the chance to see her. I don't think she would press harassment charges on you because you are good person and I hope she knows that.
Read more other entries :
Friday, March 7, 2014
Does this answer those nagging questions about healthcare reform?
Does this answer those nagging questions about healthcare reform?
Your Questions About Health Care Reform Answered posted by Christopher Hayes on 08/11/2009 @ 09:58am * Email * Print * Share o Buzz up! o Buzzflash o del.icio.us o Digg o Facebook o Add to Mixx!Mixx it! o Reddit What is this? * Take Action * Comments (88) * * Subscribe Now Text Size * A * A * A Ok, so there's been a lot of misinformation about proposals to reform the health insurance industry and provide (near) universal coverage. Understandable! It's complicated stuff. Herewith, I'll try to answer some questions 1) Is it true that all of the bills currently proposed would end the practice of "rescission," whereby health insurance providers refuse to treat customers who've paid their premiums simply because they've become ill? No! That's a common misunderstanding. Actually, all of the bills would ban incisions, that is, they would legally bar surgeons from performing surgery until a panel of twelve gay illegal immigrant government bureaucrats unanimously signed off on the procedure. 2) Is it true that health care reform would ban insurers from refusing to insure people because of pre-existing conditions? Wrong again. To get rid of health inequality, the bills actually mandate that every American be given a pre-existing condition. A National Illness Commission, with academics appointed from Harvard, Reed College and Berkeley, will evaluate each citizen, and based on their demographic profile, choose their malady. Each disease or syndrome is scored on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being the most severe. White christian men will receive pre-existing conditions of 8 or higher. Black people, "wise latinas," and ACORN members will be exempted. 3) I heard the proposals currently under consideration provide seniors with option of free counseling sessions under Medicare, where they can discuss a living will and end-of-life care. That's a huge misconception. The bills require all senior citizens (who are non union members) be euthanized on their 70th birthday. Under section 278(c)ii all last rites will be performed by Jeremiah Wright using a Q'uran. 4) I've heard the bills being proposed would require insurers to provide preventative care, like mammograms, free of charge. No, but all lactating mothers will be forced to breast-feed poor children. 5) Will the current bills plug the "donut hole" in the Medicare prescription drug benefit so seniors don't have to pay exorbitant out of pocket expenses for their medication? Absolutely not. The legislation will ban donuts. texaslibsticker: The jokes on you and the rest of the right-wing loons. :P correction: jokes=joke's
Politics - 4 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Hahaha. I think I have heard some republicans on YA saying stuff like that.
2 :
On the surface, this article is humorous, but when you think about the similar widespread lies that people actually believe, it kind of makes you feel pessimistic for the future of the human race.
3 :
Well made up answers you must listen to fox a lot.
4 :
OMG WTF ROFLMAO BBQ LOL JK? That is great! Nothing like fighting the absurd with absurd, and I'm sure left wing loons are lining up and getting to fire off a some benign letter to Obama. I'm sure you'll be reported to the "men in black suits", and you'll be getting a little visit from a couple of union guys named Vido and Tony.
Read more other entries :
Your Questions About Health Care Reform Answered posted by Christopher Hayes on 08/11/2009 @ 09:58am * Email * Print * Share o Buzz up! o Buzzflash o del.icio.us o Digg o Facebook o Add to Mixx!Mixx it! o Reddit What is this? * Take Action * Comments (88) * * Subscribe Now Text Size * A * A * A Ok, so there's been a lot of misinformation about proposals to reform the health insurance industry and provide (near) universal coverage. Understandable! It's complicated stuff. Herewith, I'll try to answer some questions 1) Is it true that all of the bills currently proposed would end the practice of "rescission," whereby health insurance providers refuse to treat customers who've paid their premiums simply because they've become ill? No! That's a common misunderstanding. Actually, all of the bills would ban incisions, that is, they would legally bar surgeons from performing surgery until a panel of twelve gay illegal immigrant government bureaucrats unanimously signed off on the procedure. 2) Is it true that health care reform would ban insurers from refusing to insure people because of pre-existing conditions? Wrong again. To get rid of health inequality, the bills actually mandate that every American be given a pre-existing condition. A National Illness Commission, with academics appointed from Harvard, Reed College and Berkeley, will evaluate each citizen, and based on their demographic profile, choose their malady. Each disease or syndrome is scored on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being the most severe. White christian men will receive pre-existing conditions of 8 or higher. Black people, "wise latinas," and ACORN members will be exempted. 3) I heard the proposals currently under consideration provide seniors with option of free counseling sessions under Medicare, where they can discuss a living will and end-of-life care. That's a huge misconception. The bills require all senior citizens (who are non union members) be euthanized on their 70th birthday. Under section 278(c)ii all last rites will be performed by Jeremiah Wright using a Q'uran. 4) I've heard the bills being proposed would require insurers to provide preventative care, like mammograms, free of charge. No, but all lactating mothers will be forced to breast-feed poor children. 5) Will the current bills plug the "donut hole" in the Medicare prescription drug benefit so seniors don't have to pay exorbitant out of pocket expenses for their medication? Absolutely not. The legislation will ban donuts. texaslibsticker: The jokes on you and the rest of the right-wing loons. :P correction: jokes=joke's
Politics - 4 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Hahaha. I think I have heard some republicans on YA saying stuff like that.
2 :
On the surface, this article is humorous, but when you think about the similar widespread lies that people actually believe, it kind of makes you feel pessimistic for the future of the human race.
3 :
Well made up answers you must listen to fox a lot.
4 :
OMG WTF ROFLMAO BBQ LOL JK? That is great! Nothing like fighting the absurd with absurd, and I'm sure left wing loons are lining up and getting to fire off a some benign letter to Obama. I'm sure you'll be reported to the "men in black suits", and you'll be getting a little visit from a couple of union guys named Vido and Tony.
Read more other entries :
Saturday, March 1, 2014
Meeting someone that you met online for the first ... What is the best course of action for a dispute li... Why doesn't Obama talk about how globalization has... What should I do about my girlfriend?
Does this answer those nagging questions about healthcare reform?
Your Questions About Health Care Reform Answered posted by Christopher Hayes on 08/11/2009 @ 09:58am * Email * Print * Share o Buzz up! o Buzzflash o del.icio.us o Digg o Facebook o Add to Mixx!Mixx it! o Reddit What is this? * Take Action * Comments (88) * * Subscribe Now Text Size * A * A * A Ok, so there's been a lot of misinformation about proposals to reform the health insurance industry and provide (near) universal coverage. Understandable! It's complicated stuff. Herewith, I'll try to answer some questions 1) Is it true that all of the bills currently proposed would end the practice of "rescission," whereby health insurance providers refuse to treat customers who've paid their premiums simply because they've become ill? No! That's a common misunderstanding. Actually, all of the bills would ban incisions, that is, they would legally bar surgeons from performing surgery until a panel of twelve gay illegal immigrant government bureaucrats unanimously signed off on the procedure. 2) Is it true that health care reform would ban insurers from refusing to insure people because of pre-existing conditions? Wrong again. To get rid of health inequality, the bills actually mandate that every American be given a pre-existing condition. A National Illness Commission, with academics appointed from Harvard, Reed College and Berkeley, will evaluate each citizen, and based on their demographic profile, choose their malady. Each disease or syndrome is scored on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being the most severe. White christian men will receive pre-existing conditions of 8 or higher. Black people, "wise latinas," and ACORN members will be exempted. 3) I heard the proposals currently under consideration provide seniors with option of free counseling sessions under Medicare, where they can discuss a living will and end-of-life care. That's a huge misconception. The bills require all senior citizens (who are non union members) be euthanized on their 70th birthday. Under section 278(c)ii all last rites will be performed by Jeremiah Wright using a Q'uran. 4) I've heard the bills being proposed would require insurers to provide preventative care, like mammograms, free of charge. No, but all lactating mothers will be forced to breast-feed poor children. 5) Will the current bills plug the "donut hole" in the Medicare prescription drug benefit so seniors don't have to pay exorbitant out of pocket expenses for their medication? Absolutely not. The legislation will ban donuts. texaslibsticker: The jokes on you and the rest of the right-wing loons. :P correction: jokes=joke's
Politics - 4 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Hahaha. I think I have heard some republicans on YA saying stuff like that.
2 :
On the surface, this article is humorous, but when you think about the similar widespread lies that people actually believe, it kind of makes you feel pessimistic for the future of the human race.
3 :
Well made up answers you must listen to fox a lot.
4 :
OMG WTF ROFLMAO BBQ LOL JK? That is great! Nothing like fighting the absurd with absurd, and I'm sure left wing loons are lining up and getting to fire off a some benign letter to Obama. I'm sure you'll be reported to the "men in black suits", and you'll be getting a little visit from a couple of union guys named Vido and Tony.
Read more other entries :
Your Questions About Health Care Reform Answered posted by Christopher Hayes on 08/11/2009 @ 09:58am * Email * Print * Share o Buzz up! o Buzzflash o del.icio.us o Digg o Facebook o Add to Mixx!Mixx it! o Reddit What is this? * Take Action * Comments (88) * * Subscribe Now Text Size * A * A * A Ok, so there's been a lot of misinformation about proposals to reform the health insurance industry and provide (near) universal coverage. Understandable! It's complicated stuff. Herewith, I'll try to answer some questions 1) Is it true that all of the bills currently proposed would end the practice of "rescission," whereby health insurance providers refuse to treat customers who've paid their premiums simply because they've become ill? No! That's a common misunderstanding. Actually, all of the bills would ban incisions, that is, they would legally bar surgeons from performing surgery until a panel of twelve gay illegal immigrant government bureaucrats unanimously signed off on the procedure. 2) Is it true that health care reform would ban insurers from refusing to insure people because of pre-existing conditions? Wrong again. To get rid of health inequality, the bills actually mandate that every American be given a pre-existing condition. A National Illness Commission, with academics appointed from Harvard, Reed College and Berkeley, will evaluate each citizen, and based on their demographic profile, choose their malady. Each disease or syndrome is scored on a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being the most severe. White christian men will receive pre-existing conditions of 8 or higher. Black people, "wise latinas," and ACORN members will be exempted. 3) I heard the proposals currently under consideration provide seniors with option of free counseling sessions under Medicare, where they can discuss a living will and end-of-life care. That's a huge misconception. The bills require all senior citizens (who are non union members) be euthanized on their 70th birthday. Under section 278(c)ii all last rites will be performed by Jeremiah Wright using a Q'uran. 4) I've heard the bills being proposed would require insurers to provide preventative care, like mammograms, free of charge. No, but all lactating mothers will be forced to breast-feed poor children. 5) Will the current bills plug the "donut hole" in the Medicare prescription drug benefit so seniors don't have to pay exorbitant out of pocket expenses for their medication? Absolutely not. The legislation will ban donuts. texaslibsticker: The jokes on you and the rest of the right-wing loons. :P correction: jokes=joke's
Politics - 4 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Hahaha. I think I have heard some republicans on YA saying stuff like that.
2 :
On the surface, this article is humorous, but when you think about the similar widespread lies that people actually believe, it kind of makes you feel pessimistic for the future of the human race.
3 :
Well made up answers you must listen to fox a lot.
4 :
OMG WTF ROFLMAO BBQ LOL JK? That is great! Nothing like fighting the absurd with absurd, and I'm sure left wing loons are lining up and getting to fire off a some benign letter to Obama. I'm sure you'll be reported to the "men in black suits", and you'll be getting a little visit from a couple of union guys named Vido and Tony.
Read more other entries :
Friday, February 28, 2014
Childhood friendship confusion!?
Childhood friendship confusion!?
I've known this guy since I was 3 and we lived down the same road and went to the sane school, but I moved when I was 5 and his mom and my mom stayed in touch. Me and him have always been in touch (msn, fb etc) and last may we had a sort of thing and it ended when he got with someone else and it really hurt and I haven't quite forgiven him. But anyway this time we met up at a gig and we spent the whole night together, and it was lovely, when we left we hugged and did that turny round thing like they do in the movies. But anyway the day after his best friend added me on facebook, he wasn't even there on the night and I've never spoken to him before, hence why I'm confused about this. Then 10 minutes later the guy I like came up on my wall on facebook saying 'it was so good seeing you last night, see you at the next gig xx' and the day after that posted a status about how great the gig was and how he had (not my words, his) 'rocked with my cock out' with me. And we were just talking on his status about how we enjoyed the gig and then he said, blink 182 are touring next year, tickets on sale next week! And we discussed it and idk whether he was just saying it or was trying to ask me, but the next gig (30stm) is in 2 weeks and I want to know what I should do about it, any suggestions would be lovely, thanks xx
Singles & Dating - 1 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
you should be like wow you should envite me to that shit nigga and if he is like hell ya he is deffinitely gonna halla at yall
Read more other entries :
I've known this guy since I was 3 and we lived down the same road and went to the sane school, but I moved when I was 5 and his mom and my mom stayed in touch. Me and him have always been in touch (msn, fb etc) and last may we had a sort of thing and it ended when he got with someone else and it really hurt and I haven't quite forgiven him. But anyway this time we met up at a gig and we spent the whole night together, and it was lovely, when we left we hugged and did that turny round thing like they do in the movies. But anyway the day after his best friend added me on facebook, he wasn't even there on the night and I've never spoken to him before, hence why I'm confused about this. Then 10 minutes later the guy I like came up on my wall on facebook saying 'it was so good seeing you last night, see you at the next gig xx' and the day after that posted a status about how great the gig was and how he had (not my words, his) 'rocked with my cock out' with me. And we were just talking on his status about how we enjoyed the gig and then he said, blink 182 are touring next year, tickets on sale next week! And we discussed it and idk whether he was just saying it or was trying to ask me, but the next gig (30stm) is in 2 weeks and I want to know what I should do about it, any suggestions would be lovely, thanks xx
Singles & Dating - 1 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
you should be like wow you should envite me to that shit nigga and if he is like hell ya he is deffinitely gonna halla at yall
Read more other entries :
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