is there a chance of coming back together?
We’ve been together for 1 yr and 7 months. He’s my cousin’s friend since high school. But my cousin never really liked the idea of me dating him (crossing the line stuff), so we went against all odds. But we fought for each other, so everything became okay, my cousin and his friends accepted it. It was quite a “challenge†of the feeling that everyone was against the relationship. We had so many memories. He picks me at school during Saturdays after my class; we always watch movies coz that’s our favorite thing to do, dinner dates, badminton, bowling, or just coffee. We also bond with my cousin and friends out of town and at parties. For the whole 1 yr and 4 months (the other 3 months is another story), the downside of this relationship is we always fight about “small thingsâ€. Something that he didn’t do that I expect him to do, I get mad easily. Then whenever I’m mad, I talk to him in a casual way and when he asks what the problem is, I just say nothing. (MOSTLY GIRLS WANTS THEIR BOYFRIEND TO READ THEIR GIRLFRIEND’S MIND-that’s what girls are likely to do). It happens every other week or every month. It came to a point that he wants a “time offâ€, he wants to weigh things out and if the relationship will be going somewhere; so I give him this space. (Whenever there’s an issue, there’s always this “time off†coming). His†time off†usually lasts for just a week, then by Saturday he will text me or call me as if everything’s okay. So by Saturday is a normal day, like we date.. but he don’t discuss about the past argument. All of these just happen over and over again. Until… May 10, we had an issue. Then he wants to break up with me over the phone because he said that he was tired of all the arguments etc. He cried hard, so I felt that he can’t even let go because he was crying, I cried to. He said that he love me but not that much anymore. I cried and pleaded, asked for another chance that I will change (adjust in what I just can adjust). He gave me another chance. After that he keeps calling me many times a day in a week. I felt that he misses me too. June.. it went well, like everything was back to normal. He visited me when I was sick, I was so surprise and happy. I adjusted a little bit, I do efforts to see him, and surprise him, I let him feel my love. July and August… I’m still consistent. There were times that I feel that he doesn’t care. I was really confused because “we’re going up, down, up, up, down†(yesterday, he made me special, today, he acts like he doesn’t care, tomorrow, I don’t know!). I really adjusted like when he wants to hang out with his long lost friends, we cancel our Saturday date. I adjusted my Saturday schedule class in the morning so I can be with him for long hours. Aug 22, he was late for our date, and I was a little bit upset coz I feel that I was taken for granted. So when I came into his car, I was just silent. The whole night, I talked to him in a casual way. August 23, he posted something to his facebook.. “contemplating on leaving everything behindâ€. I sensed that it’s about me. So I called him, and then ask him about what he posted. He told me it’s not working anymore. I didn’t cried and plead. I asked that I wanted to see him personally. So we see each other on the 29th. We ate dinner, and then talked about the issue, I was crying and he was consoling me. He said that he’s here if I wanted to talk, to watch movies again with him. I told him that I want to watch New Moon this coming November and said okay. After that night, he still texts and chats for the whole September (every other day). He’s the first one to text/chat, since he’s the dumper. My philosophy is whoever decided the break up thing must be the one who will do the reconnecting. September 28 was the last chat in ym. After that no more. October 17 was my birthday. He sent me an offline message exactly at 12mn saying “Happy Birthday! :)†I don’t know if it’s a sweet feeling that he greeted me first, but I felt a little bit mad, coz what the f, an ex greeted me first! I texted him if he’s free tonight. He asked me if who will be there in my party, hs friends or college or both. I said both, I felt that he might be shy or what, coz he’s asking who my visitors are. So he came with our common friend. He gave me a gift which I didn’t expect. This is what I observed at my party.. 1.I noticed that he was looking at the way i eat my chicken. (That’s what he always does when we were together, he laughs at me because I was having a hard time to use the spoon and fork to eat my chicken, and he found it cute). 2.I showed my digicam, he was browsing the pictures and asked who my partner in the pageant is. So I told him that he’s just my high school friend. (Actually I asked him to be my partner last June, but he doesn’t want to). 3.When he was browsing, I told him to give the camera to my friend, Aj who was just sitting at our table. I told my ex to give the camera to Aj, he said that he doesn’t wa
Singles & Dating - 1 Answers
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it sounds like you are letting him influence your emotions and sense of well-being like the moon controls the tide. not that he's doing anything bad, it's not good for you to go "up and down" as you described. you may want to put the ball in your court by giving yourself some time off. step back and really think about what you need and what is and is not good for you. it's never fun when someone strings you along and you don't know where you stand with them, so don't let him do that. one of you needs to draw a line in the sand. you two are together or not together. if not, you need to stay away for a while...rule of thumb is at least half the time you were together...in your case that would be little to no contact for about 8mos. as for feelings never going away...my particular case was extreme. i've had several relationships since without strong lingering feelings. however, i would venture to guess that just about everyone has one relationship that they will never completely get over. it goes with territory. as they say, "love hurts". hang in there, everyone goes through this BS!
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