How do you get over someone you love? Help me figure things out...?
I'm going to be brutally honest in this post...I'm 19 and I have been dating my girlfriend since I was a senior in high school. We broke up 2 months ago after dating for a little over a year and I admit I'm still not over her. I had the best summer of my life last year with her. We were in love. She's beautiful, funny, and we just get along so well. However, we started having problems when she went away to college. I chose to stay close to home and go to our flagship state school on a scholarship. She picked a school about 4 hours away from home. To make things more difficult, I chose to stay home my first year and save money, while she obviously dormed at her new school. We lasted until April, and when there was only a couple weeks left in the year...she dumped me. I was so surprised, but i took it mildly well at first. We kept talking and texting regularly, it honestly felt like we were still dating even though we had just broken off our relationship. The way she broke up with me though...was simply terrible... She chatted me on facebook, of all things, and explained to me how things were too hard and she was doing bad in school, and we needed to take a break...I agreed to it...though I was upset and hurt obviously .4 days later, she was begging me to take her back and i told her we could talk about it that weekend. However...the night before we were supposed to talk...she kissed another guy...sober. She told me the next morning and I was upset and pissed. I told her we're done, but then she started threatening suicide...which scared the shit out of me, so of course, being the pushover to her I am, I took her back out of desperation. 3 days later...she dumped me again... We talked on and off until summer came...and then the night she came home I took her and some friends out to a party. We both got really drunk, and we hooked up. The next day she told me she wanted to get back together with me, but I was still hurt at that point. I told her we could discuss it after I finished my finals. She agreed and we hungout that week, fooling around and behaving like bf and gf basically... However, after finals, we just never talked about a relationship again. We still hungout for another week or so after that, but then, all of a sudden, we just stopped talking. I started to miss her a lot... I didn't text her though...idk if it was because I wanted to give her some space, or just out of sheer pride, but I didn't talk to her for a few weeks. Then she started texting me out of the blue like we were just friends and nothing ever happened. It was confusing and hurtful to me... I had no idea what was going on. Anyways, yesterday we hungout just the two of us for the first time in months. It's apparent that she is over me, and I am no where near over her. We talked a little about our relationship, but nothing major. She said the reason we broke up was distance and that we're too young. But is 19 really too young still? I know it's young...but I mean I have friends only a couple years older than me that are engaged... She also told me that she's transferring back to the area after next year or possibly next semester. I was surprised and didn't really know what to say to that. I've just never felt this depressed over someone. I feel lonely, hurt, used...it's pathetic but I can't shake the feeling. I understand people breakup when they go to college...but it's just so confusing how everything is transpiring between us. What should I do? I still care about her so much... I even took her out and bought her food and then went down on her for an hour last night... and the sad thing is, I want to do that again just so I can see her... I've never been this much of a mess over anyone before in my life. Should I keep seeing her and treating her well in hopes she'll want me back? Or should I cut her out of my life completely? Or should I just try to stay friends with her and look forward to dorming and meeting new people next year? I need help.
Singles & Dating - 1 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Honey, its completely normal to feel depressed and upset after a breakup. But in all honesty, you need to move on with your life. Let yourself cry, scream, punch a bag, run, do what you need to let out the hurt and frustration and confusion. Do NOT go back with her. She is playing games with you because she is insecure and wants to have control over you. She likes playing these games with you b/c she knows she can come back to you if she needs to/ can't find anything better. You are last on her list now, and you need to man up and say its over. SHE WILL NEVER WANT YOU BACK. And if she does, it's to use you. There's a reason why you broke up. Maybe the reasons on the surface are a bit muddled, but deep underneath in the back of her mind, something has decided that things aren't going to work and she doesn't want to be committed to you the way you are committed to her. That's no way to have a relationship. It's hard to let go, I know. I was in a 1 yr relationship and was dumped through a text message. We tried to be friends but things got messy. It's over now, and you have to accept it. Pick up a new hobby and hang out with your guy friends. Take some time away from the dating world so you don't make the mistake of picking up a rebound girl. Then, once you are over her, go out there and find the girl that you deserve, b/c she's is so totally not it. best of luck.
Read more other entries :
