Should this letter be sent or forever stay a secret?
For privacy purposes, Names in this letter have been deleted Dear xxxxxxxx, I know you may have absolutely no idea who I am or maybe you do. First let me begin by saying I am extremely nervous to send this letter to you and I put a lot of thought into whether I should or not, I wrote it about a month ago but I now have the guts to send it because I am sure I am doing it for the right reasons. My name is xxxxxxxxxxxxxx. The connection between us is xxxxxxxxx (my ex-boyfriend). Xxxxxxx and I have known each other for four years. We went to the same high school and I am two years his junior. Xxxxxxx and I began dating in November 2008 and he broke up with me in May 2009. Now you may be wondering either “who is this girl or why is she telling me thisâ€or “oh right that psychobitch xxxxxx told me aboutâ€. Now I will get to the main point of why I am contacting you. Let me give you a summary. Despite xxxxx and I ending our relationship, we continued to stay in contact over the summer through Skype. Although we considered our relationship a “friendshipâ€, xxxxx still made sexual advances towards me. I was not innocent, I reciprocated despite my conscience telling me it was wrong due to the fact I still love and was attracted to xxxxx . I will admit in this situation, I was not an angel and I did things I regret and I definitely learned from my mistakes. It was all talk and “sexting†over the summer and the one day while running my eyes over his facebook page, I saw “In a Relationship with xxxxxxxx.†On an August night, I brought this up to him casually but he completely denied it, saying it must have been a “mistake.†Almost immediately, xxxxx got rid of it. Around September, he blocked me from his page all together. We continued to talk sexually and flirt, yet he began to call me less and less. In an effort to identify the problem, I tried multiple ways to contact him but he barely or did not respond. I became exasperated and simply gave up. Then one more attempt yielded a result. He answered his phone and he explained that he had begun to date you, but we could still be “friends.†I was disappointed, yet it was better than nothing. A week or so later xxxxx and I were on the phone and he began to once again, discuss sexual things with me. I felt uncomfortable because now he had a girlfriend. I asked him if you two were still dating, he responded with a “noâ€. We continued this sort of talk and planned on meeting up and potentially doing “things†in November on xxxxx’s Thanksgiving break. On November 21, 2009, xxxxx and I saw each other. That night I gave him a check for $428.00 to add to the additional $100.00 I gave to him for his phone bill overage that was partially my fault but also his because he chose to answer his phone. I worked four long, hard months to earn the $528.00 because I cared. Not only did I give xxxxx the money on 11/21/09 but we also had sex, and I lost my virginity that night. After we had finished he took me directly home, told me he had NO girlfriend and he would see me in three weeks of his winter break. Weeks went by with no call from xxxxx and I was wondering if I did something wrong. I emailed him and shortly after xxxxx Skyped me. He said I was “out of control†(apparently), we could not talk anymore, never to message or talk to him again or else he would file a restraining order against me. He said he did not care we had sex, I had caused enough trouble for him and “This is all in my head, get help. We are neither friends nor lovers.†Despite all these cruel things he said to me the largest shock came when he said “and you KNOW I’ve been in a relationship the whole time.†How would I have known when xxxxx adamantly denied it? Xxxxx not only took my money and my virginity that night but he also did a horrible thing to you, and betrayed you in the worst way possible. I would not wish that upon anyone. I have no connection to xxxxx anymore; he is out of my life for good. I am not mad at him, I do not hate him. Above anything, I am just disappointed at the whole thing: he took my money, my time, my confidence, virginity, innocence, weakened my friendships and put me though months of misery. Still though, I care about xxxxx and I wish him and good and happy life. I know you probably think I am absolutely insane and just trying to sabotage your relationship because I hate him or I am jealous or something. I also know you do know me and have never met me, but I can tell you something now: I am not a hateful or spiteful person. I am telling you this because, woman to woman, I would want to know. What xxxxx did was incredibly wrong and I needed to tell you the truth because I knew he would not. It is only natural for you to trust xxxxx and not me, for, as I know xxxxx is smart, funny, charming, sarcastic, handsome and sweet BUT I also realized his many flaws. For example, his intense privacy and secrecy about his past, using his charm for emotional manipulation, his great ability to and finally his ability to take a situation in which he is at fault and make it appear to be yours. You are probably head over heels for xxxxx though and this letter will probably not make you change your opinion of him. I just do not want you to have to go through what I did. So now it is your choice, you can either A. believe me or B. no believe me. It is up to you. Sit on this letter, think about it. It is up to you, but I can assure you I would not have take three hours to write this letter if I did not really mean it. Still, do as you wish. The only favor I ask of you is to keep this letter confidential from everyone EVEN xxxxx, please do not name your source, I would greatly appreciate that. Xxxxx could possibly blackmail me with photos I sent him of myself while we were dating. I know you may think I am whore, but I really am not the kind of girl you think I am, I just made a huge mistake. If you want to contact me, you can do so through my Facebook inbox or email me at xxxxxxxxxxx. Again, I am so sorry I had to inform you or this, you may hate me but I am really just trying to do the right thing. Thanks fro reading my letter through to the end Sincerely, Xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Singles & Dating - 7 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Send it, she deserves to know the truth. I don't think he is right for her or she is right with him the way their relationship sounds so screwed up. Hope things work out, hun (: Good Luck!
2 :
You took you're time writing this, 3 hours I belive like you said. And I took the time to read it. Obviously the other women deserves to know & like you said you'd also like to know. Send it.
3 :
send it (:
4 :
Depends. What do you have to risk? Your reputation, trustworthiness... a lot. Ask yourself: Are you doing this, really, to get revenge on xxxxxxx, or because you sincerely want to save his new girlfriend (I assume it's a girlfriend) from more heartbreak?? Weigh this very, very carefully. If you think she really is better off knowing, and that she will believe you and leave him, you should send the letter. He deserves to be dumped and broken too.
5 :
I can see yo put in alot of effort in this letter. I really think you should send it just to warn them that he may be just a sick person. That isn't right he took all that and turned it against you. Send it for the persons sake. But remember, it's your life, your letter, most importantly, your decision. I only here to maybe help, not to steer your life for you. Think it over. Listen to you heart. You,ll will make the right decision ;). P.s. I'm not sure I gotthe whole idea of the letter >.< disregardthis answer if I didn't get it.
6 :
To send or not to send; that is the question. I say, don't send.
7 :
Weather you send the letter or not........DON'T LEND MONEY TO ANYONE. And for God's sake don't give it away! You worked hard for that. Don't you watch Judge Judy? And my advice to you is, don't send it. He's a creep. Put it behind you. Move on. You're better then that.
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