need motivation and people's opinion?
okay,this may be long but I hope someone can help. So I'm a community college student and I am on this "crossroad" dilemma. I apply to transfer to a 4 year university in California after being at a community college for 3 years. I am already got in to 1 and I'm on my last 2 weeks waiting for 4 more admission decisions. As I wait for these decisions, I have been thinking about my life within the last 3 years after high school graduation. The last 3 years have been weird. What happen is that i live a sort of uncommon life in comparison to my friends to my friends and peers. I dedicate myself to my studies these days that I happen to become a loner. I rarely go out with friends anymore. And some of group of friends that I kind of wish I could spend more time have a flaw: they're friends with an ex-girlfriend of mine. I have low paying job since I want to get a car but the only problem is I only work once a week and finding a better paying job are away and definitely need a car. Almost all my peers have cars and they're enjoying the heck out of their lives. From my observation is that I feel that I'm missing out the fun in my early 20's. First of all, my closest friends don't go to college and they work. So I can't discuss school related stuff as often. Plus,they're into video games, which I'm not. Another draw back is that those who do go to school (community college or university) are not majoring in science so I feel the weird one. I love science because of the fact that while its difficult,I'm actually learning stuff. Not to criticize liberal art majors but the harder courses make you think "outside the box" like in calculus or chemistry (funny thing though is that I need some psychological help in my question;irony,lol!). Anyways, the biggest problem I have is when people ask me why I don't have a girlfriend. Now, I have dated about once or twice but at those times, I just felt uncomfortable being with another person. I just didn't felt in the mood of a relationship; I didn't have feelings for that person. So it bugs me when some of my friends (guy or girl) ask me why I'm not in one. For me, I feel that I want to transfer out to a good school because I don't want to work in low paying job as I am right now;I really care about education and it saddens me that some just view it as a chore or something. But while my friends respect my decision, my ex-girlfriends ask me the same question. At this point, I am like "wth???why do you care?". What happen is that I use to try to get her back with me for 2 years after she broke up with me. So I decided that once she was in college,I will never ever talk to her again (in person). We have always been friends online since we broke up but we have added and deleted each other several times. The last time she deleted me, I decided I will not be Mr. Nice Guy anymore. She added me again in December but I vow not to chat her on facebook. She has always started the conversation the few times I spoke to her in Fb. But the last 2 times she kept mentioning "her man" and that she was serious about him and she was going to drop out of college for him (her current boyfriend is about to graduate next year and they plan to come back to California since she is at Iowa). And while I could care less now, yesterday she ask about "any lucky gals out there for me?" after she had mention her bf many times before. It feels she is rubbing it in my face because she knows I was in deep love for her 3 years ago. So in essence,I am asking what should I do about my life as I go on with my life.Should I work hard to get a car(I don't think I need a car since I plan to dorm when I transfer)?What should I do with my closest friends(should I try to be into video games because that's like the one thing they're super into)?what should I do with my ex-girlfriend(I wanted to delete her on Facebook but I want to show that I'm stronger than her and that I have move on. Seriously, I feel like I'm competing against her. I don't care about relationships right now because I have not gotten that feeling to be someone yet.EEERRR,but I want to show that the day she left me was her biggest mistake(btw,the break up was on 2008)). I can wait to transfer out so I can finally meet some people with the same interest like me and possibly find a good girl that cares about me.
Singles & Dating - 1 Answers
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It's a long read. First, don't look back. Stop thinking about the past three years. Instead focus on the next three years. About your friends: If your friends have different interests than yours, then try to look for new friends that shares the same interest as you are. Remember, birds of a same feather flocks together, so it's understandable that you will not be compelled to stick with your old friends. About your ex-girlfriend: Move on. Meet someone else. The easiest way to get him out of your mind is to meet someone else. About motivation: Set a goal. If you think you need to get a car to get yourself motivated, then do it. Don't let yourself get distracted by things. I recommend reading the link below to get you more motivated.
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