Being around my boyfriend makes me sad and irritated, what should I do at this point?
Hi, lately I've been having trouble with my boyfriend of 5 months. We began dating in high school and now we are in college together. He is Asian and I am white, and he joined an Asian club and now the majority of his friends are of Asian culture. That does not bother me whatsoever, but lately I've been having feelings of inadequacy. I feel like I don't belong and that I'm not good enough when I'm around his friends and him. Also, he's made friends with several Asian girls that he texts frequently and chats on facebook with. I know I shouldn't feel jealous or angry, but it seems like he's always texting this one particular girl. The other day we went to the library to study and he led me over to where said girl and her friend were studying and I was forced to sit there and try to study while they laughed and exchanged inside jokes and discussed classes that they all have together. It makes me so angry that he's been cavorting about with all these girls when I'm not around. I believe he's been to the library several times with that particular girl, and they've gotten private study rooms together. Now whenever I'm with him instead of being happy, I just think about him and these girls and I get upset and give him the cold shoulder. I'm mainly sad and depressed when I'm with him because I fear that he's going to leave me for someone better and of his own ethnicity. And I don't know what to do or say. Any suggestions?
Singles & Dating - 7 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
holy cow y is it so long...and break up with him he is not worth your time plz you need some one that makes you feel loved and you don't feel like your wasting your time on them..because think of all that time wasted on someone that you don't like and that gets u upset
2 :
Just because someone is of his own ethnicity, that does not make them better than you. I think that's the first thing you need to realize. I also think that you have a right to be a little bit concerned about his behavior if it's just one particular girl and you notice him being more and more into her. Do you feel like he has been distancing himself from you at all? Have you tried talking to him and telling him how you feel? Maybe you just need to be reassured by him that he still feels the same about you and that no one is going to be taking your place.
3 :
Why don't you make some friends. Join a club or something. Find a Unitarian Universalist church or something. You know get out, volunteer, do something or be somewhere with people who make you feel good. You sound like a nice person so you should meet nice people.
4 :
Probably time to move on. You might talking to him if you really like him, but I don't think that it will make much difference.
5 :
Tell your boyfriend how you are feeling and see how he responds. Then, give it a few weeks to see if things get any better and if they don't then maybe you should think about breaking up. You deserve to be happy. (But if you break up then don't be surprised if he starts dating one of these girls...that's usually how it goes)
6 :
Well, I'm sorry you are feeling so down about this. The best thing you could do, and probably the only thing you could do to solve this problem in your relationship, is to talk to him about how you are feeling. Hopefully you can find the words to tell him in a way that doesn't make him feel like you just don't want him happy. Explain your reasons in why you feel this way, and maybe he will open up to how he feels about the current situation. Communication is very, very important in a relationship, and it seems like yours need some.
7 :
I'm white and I'm dating a Filipino. Sometimes I feel the same way. I actually talked to my bf about it and he's like "I'm dating you. I don't an asian chick." Sometimes the comments he makes make me feel inferiorer even though they aren't even directed to me. Like he always mentions being Filipino - I was like well I never mention being ... French! He was like huh? Talk to him about it. See if he's cheating on you. Sometimes guys are dumb and don't realize how you feel. Lucky for me my bf understood what I was saying (it took a couple of times). If it doesn't work out maybe you two need to break up. Good luck.
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