What should I do about this girl? Please help me, ladies?
So, I'm a guy going to be a sophomore in high school next year, and there's this girl who's going to be a freshman in high school next year. (At the same school) The reason I even talked to her in the first place was because she's allowing me to style her hair. (She also knows that I'm straight). As of right now, we've actually been getting along really well. We both love music and playing instruments, and we're both nerds when it comes to video games and things like that. Recently, though, things have been getting interesting. We've been talking about things that she wouldn't normally discuss with other people, and she told me that she trusts me though she barely knows me. I told her that she was cute, and she said that though she didn't show it, that it meant a lot that I said that. Finally, she said that she likes me, but not in a romantic sort of way, but she had a boyfriend at the time that she said that. I told her how I feel (to a point), but she has yet to respond to my message. I just saw on Facebook that she is single, so maybe my message affected something. She still hasn't responded, and I don't know what to do so I don't mess up. What should I do?
Singles & Dating - 1 Answers
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1 :
Be yourself and talk to her normally for now. Make her laugh and suggest to hang out sometime. When the time is right ask her about her boyfriend, depending on her answer say to her that you hope she can be happy with someone because you think she is amazing and deserves someone good. Try and do it in person and give her a smile and look into her eyes and she might just fall for you! Good luck!
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Wednesday, May 28, 2014
Wednesday, May 14, 2014
How do you get over someone you love? Help me figure things out...?
How do you get over someone you love? Help me figure things out...?
I'm going to be brutally honest in this post...I'm 19 and I have been dating my girlfriend since I was a senior in high school. We broke up 2 months ago after dating for a little over a year and I admit I'm still not over her. I had the best summer of my life last year with her. We were in love. She's beautiful, funny, and we just get along so well. However, we started having problems when she went away to college. I chose to stay close to home and go to our flagship state school on a scholarship. She picked a school about 4 hours away from home. To make things more difficult, I chose to stay home my first year and save money, while she obviously dormed at her new school. We lasted until April, and when there was only a couple weeks left in the year...she dumped me. I was so surprised, but i took it mildly well at first. We kept talking and texting regularly, it honestly felt like we were still dating even though we had just broken off our relationship. The way she broke up with me though...was simply terrible... She chatted me on facebook, of all things, and explained to me how things were too hard and she was doing bad in school, and we needed to take a break...I agreed to it...though I was upset and hurt obviously .4 days later, she was begging me to take her back and i told her we could talk about it that weekend. However...the night before we were supposed to talk...she kissed another guy...sober. She told me the next morning and I was upset and pissed. I told her we're done, but then she started threatening suicide...which scared the shit out of me, so of course, being the pushover to her I am, I took her back out of desperation. 3 days later...she dumped me again... We talked on and off until summer came...and then the night she came home I took her and some friends out to a party. We both got really drunk, and we hooked up. The next day she told me she wanted to get back together with me, but I was still hurt at that point. I told her we could discuss it after I finished my finals. She agreed and we hungout that week, fooling around and behaving like bf and gf basically... However, after finals, we just never talked about a relationship again. We still hungout for another week or so after that, but then, all of a sudden, we just stopped talking. I started to miss her a lot... I didn't text her though...idk if it was because I wanted to give her some space, or just out of sheer pride, but I didn't talk to her for a few weeks. Then she started texting me out of the blue like we were just friends and nothing ever happened. It was confusing and hurtful to me... I had no idea what was going on. Anyways, yesterday we hungout just the two of us for the first time in months. It's apparent that she is over me, and I am no where near over her. We talked a little about our relationship, but nothing major. She said the reason we broke up was distance and that we're too young. But is 19 really too young still? I know it's young...but I mean I have friends only a couple years older than me that are engaged... She also told me that she's transferring back to the area after next year or possibly next semester. I was surprised and didn't really know what to say to that. I've just never felt this depressed over someone. I feel lonely, hurt, used...it's pathetic but I can't shake the feeling. I understand people breakup when they go to college...but it's just so confusing how everything is transpiring between us. What should I do? I still care about her so much... I even took her out and bought her food and then went down on her for an hour last night... and the sad thing is, I want to do that again just so I can see her... I've never been this much of a mess over anyone before in my life. Should I keep seeing her and treating her well in hopes she'll want me back? Or should I cut her out of my life completely? Or should I just try to stay friends with her and look forward to dorming and meeting new people next year? I need help.
Singles & Dating - 1 Answers
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1 :
Honey, its completely normal to feel depressed and upset after a breakup. But in all honesty, you need to move on with your life. Let yourself cry, scream, punch a bag, run, do what you need to let out the hurt and frustration and confusion. Do NOT go back with her. She is playing games with you because she is insecure and wants to have control over you. She likes playing these games with you b/c she knows she can come back to you if she needs to/ can't find anything better. You are last on her list now, and you need to man up and say its over. SHE WILL NEVER WANT YOU BACK. And if she does, it's to use you. There's a reason why you broke up. Maybe the reasons on the surface are a bit muddled, but deep underneath in the back of her mind, something has decided that things aren't going to work and she doesn't want to be committed to you the way you are committed to her. That's no way to have a relationship. It's hard to let go, I know. I was in a 1 yr relationship and was dumped through a text message. We tried to be friends but things got messy. It's over now, and you have to accept it. Pick up a new hobby and hang out with your guy friends. Take some time away from the dating world so you don't make the mistake of picking up a rebound girl. Then, once you are over her, go out there and find the girl that you deserve, b/c she's is so totally not it. best of luck.
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I'm going to be brutally honest in this post...I'm 19 and I have been dating my girlfriend since I was a senior in high school. We broke up 2 months ago after dating for a little over a year and I admit I'm still not over her. I had the best summer of my life last year with her. We were in love. She's beautiful, funny, and we just get along so well. However, we started having problems when she went away to college. I chose to stay close to home and go to our flagship state school on a scholarship. She picked a school about 4 hours away from home. To make things more difficult, I chose to stay home my first year and save money, while she obviously dormed at her new school. We lasted until April, and when there was only a couple weeks left in the year...she dumped me. I was so surprised, but i took it mildly well at first. We kept talking and texting regularly, it honestly felt like we were still dating even though we had just broken off our relationship. The way she broke up with me though...was simply terrible... She chatted me on facebook, of all things, and explained to me how things were too hard and she was doing bad in school, and we needed to take a break...I agreed to it...though I was upset and hurt obviously .4 days later, she was begging me to take her back and i told her we could talk about it that weekend. However...the night before we were supposed to talk...she kissed another guy...sober. She told me the next morning and I was upset and pissed. I told her we're done, but then she started threatening suicide...which scared the shit out of me, so of course, being the pushover to her I am, I took her back out of desperation. 3 days later...she dumped me again... We talked on and off until summer came...and then the night she came home I took her and some friends out to a party. We both got really drunk, and we hooked up. The next day she told me she wanted to get back together with me, but I was still hurt at that point. I told her we could discuss it after I finished my finals. She agreed and we hungout that week, fooling around and behaving like bf and gf basically... However, after finals, we just never talked about a relationship again. We still hungout for another week or so after that, but then, all of a sudden, we just stopped talking. I started to miss her a lot... I didn't text her though...idk if it was because I wanted to give her some space, or just out of sheer pride, but I didn't talk to her for a few weeks. Then she started texting me out of the blue like we were just friends and nothing ever happened. It was confusing and hurtful to me... I had no idea what was going on. Anyways, yesterday we hungout just the two of us for the first time in months. It's apparent that she is over me, and I am no where near over her. We talked a little about our relationship, but nothing major. She said the reason we broke up was distance and that we're too young. But is 19 really too young still? I know it's young...but I mean I have friends only a couple years older than me that are engaged... She also told me that she's transferring back to the area after next year or possibly next semester. I was surprised and didn't really know what to say to that. I've just never felt this depressed over someone. I feel lonely, hurt, used...it's pathetic but I can't shake the feeling. I understand people breakup when they go to college...but it's just so confusing how everything is transpiring between us. What should I do? I still care about her so much... I even took her out and bought her food and then went down on her for an hour last night... and the sad thing is, I want to do that again just so I can see her... I've never been this much of a mess over anyone before in my life. Should I keep seeing her and treating her well in hopes she'll want me back? Or should I cut her out of my life completely? Or should I just try to stay friends with her and look forward to dorming and meeting new people next year? I need help.
Singles & Dating - 1 Answers
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1 :
Honey, its completely normal to feel depressed and upset after a breakup. But in all honesty, you need to move on with your life. Let yourself cry, scream, punch a bag, run, do what you need to let out the hurt and frustration and confusion. Do NOT go back with her. She is playing games with you because she is insecure and wants to have control over you. She likes playing these games with you b/c she knows she can come back to you if she needs to/ can't find anything better. You are last on her list now, and you need to man up and say its over. SHE WILL NEVER WANT YOU BACK. And if she does, it's to use you. There's a reason why you broke up. Maybe the reasons on the surface are a bit muddled, but deep underneath in the back of her mind, something has decided that things aren't going to work and she doesn't want to be committed to you the way you are committed to her. That's no way to have a relationship. It's hard to let go, I know. I was in a 1 yr relationship and was dumped through a text message. We tried to be friends but things got messy. It's over now, and you have to accept it. Pick up a new hobby and hang out with your guy friends. Take some time away from the dating world so you don't make the mistake of picking up a rebound girl. Then, once you are over her, go out there and find the girl that you deserve, b/c she's is so totally not it. best of luck.
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Wednesday, May 7, 2014
Help! I can't believe this has happened to me.
Help! I can't believe this has happened to me.
Help! He Broke My Heart! What should I do? My boyfriend lied to me and deeply hurt me! my boyfriend and i were on a break. he didnt call me for three weeks (he was at academic camp and needed to focus). i finally told him maybe we should just be friends. he got upset, asked if there was another guy, and said he still liked me. so i said fine but things needed to change. he said ok and asked if we were good. i said we were. today i log onto facebook and see a message from him. it's addressed to about 15 people and says he will not be coming back to my high school next year and that he is going to boarding school. he did not have the decency to tell me. i texted him, upset, and he said sorry i only told my best friend, (who is a girl by the way). i said sorry was ok when he canceled dates (he did that a lot) or when he didn't call. this was not sorry. how could he have falled to mention this? i am very hurt. we were friends for 2 years before we started dating and suddenly i'm his girlfriend and i'm part of the other people catagory. he said he'd call later. while we were friends i was always there for him. i'm a caring person. i dodn't know what to. he was my first real boyfriend. he wants to be friends, but i don't trust him and i have lost respect for him. i told him last night i thought he acted like a jerk in the scenario. he said he wasn't and promised to call tonight to discuss it. i don't see the point. when would we see each other as friends? i'm ready to move on. if he calls (which he prob won't) what do i say? but mostly, am i right to be upset? He hurt me so much.
Singles & Dating - 1 Answers
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1 :
Maybe he was trying not to hurt you. Did you ever think of that? That maybe it was too hard for him to tell you in person because he'd cry too. I think he did it to protect you and himself, not hurt you. He might not have wanted to make it any harder than he could've, so he sent you the message on facebook.
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Help! He Broke My Heart! What should I do? My boyfriend lied to me and deeply hurt me! my boyfriend and i were on a break. he didnt call me for three weeks (he was at academic camp and needed to focus). i finally told him maybe we should just be friends. he got upset, asked if there was another guy, and said he still liked me. so i said fine but things needed to change. he said ok and asked if we were good. i said we were. today i log onto facebook and see a message from him. it's addressed to about 15 people and says he will not be coming back to my high school next year and that he is going to boarding school. he did not have the decency to tell me. i texted him, upset, and he said sorry i only told my best friend, (who is a girl by the way). i said sorry was ok when he canceled dates (he did that a lot) or when he didn't call. this was not sorry. how could he have falled to mention this? i am very hurt. we were friends for 2 years before we started dating and suddenly i'm his girlfriend and i'm part of the other people catagory. he said he'd call later. while we were friends i was always there for him. i'm a caring person. i dodn't know what to. he was my first real boyfriend. he wants to be friends, but i don't trust him and i have lost respect for him. i told him last night i thought he acted like a jerk in the scenario. he said he wasn't and promised to call tonight to discuss it. i don't see the point. when would we see each other as friends? i'm ready to move on. if he calls (which he prob won't) what do i say? but mostly, am i right to be upset? He hurt me so much.
Singles & Dating - 1 Answers
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1 :
Maybe he was trying not to hurt you. Did you ever think of that? That maybe it was too hard for him to tell you in person because he'd cry too. I think he did it to protect you and himself, not hurt you. He might not have wanted to make it any harder than he could've, so he sent you the message on facebook.
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Thursday, May 1, 2014
Do I Have A Right To Be Angry at My Ex?
Do I Have A Right To Be Angry at My Ex?
What should I do? My boyfriend lied to me and deeply hurt me! my boyfriend and i were on a break. he didnt call me for three weeks (he was at academic camp and needed to focus). i finally told him maybe we should just be friends. he got upset, asked if there was another guy, and said he still liked me. so i said fine but things needed to change. he said ok and asked if we were good. i said we were. today i log onto facebook and see a message from him. it's addressed to about 15 people and says he will not be coming back to my high school next year and that he is going to boarding school. he did not have the decency to tell me. i texted him, upset, and he said sorry i only told my best friend, (who is a girl by the way). i said sorry was ok when he canceled dates (he did that a lot) or when he didn't call. this was not sorry. how could he have falled to mention this? i am very hurt. we were friends for 2 years before we started dating and suddenly i'm his girlfriend and i'm part of the other people catagory. he said he'd call later. while we were friends i was always there for him. i'm a caring person. i dodn't know what to. he was my first real boyfriend. he wants to be friends, but i don't trust him and i have lost respect for him. i told him last night i thought he acted like a jerk in the scenario. he said he wasn't and promised to call tonight to discuss it. i don't see the point. when would we see each other as friends? i'm ready to move on. if he calls (which he prob won't) what do i say? but mostly, am i right to be upset? everyone else is happy for him but i can't help but be incredibly angry.
Singles & Dating - 1 Answers
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1 :
hes a jerk. no, really. u have the right to be angry.. and if he calls.. well.. be normal, but not overly friendly nor hostile. if your overly friendly it seems ur trying to suck up and if ur angry it only shows u still care a great lot. So, in otherwords be nice and wish him luck at his new school (he'll need it with his personality) to let him know indirectly you're over him and you will NOT be totally hungover and turn into a friends with benefit. If you want to forget about him.. i recommend you to stop all contact because time fades things like this away and tell him dw about calling u everynight cos u'll be busy.. painting ur nails. He'll get the point.. haha goodluck
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What should I do? My boyfriend lied to me and deeply hurt me! my boyfriend and i were on a break. he didnt call me for three weeks (he was at academic camp and needed to focus). i finally told him maybe we should just be friends. he got upset, asked if there was another guy, and said he still liked me. so i said fine but things needed to change. he said ok and asked if we were good. i said we were. today i log onto facebook and see a message from him. it's addressed to about 15 people and says he will not be coming back to my high school next year and that he is going to boarding school. he did not have the decency to tell me. i texted him, upset, and he said sorry i only told my best friend, (who is a girl by the way). i said sorry was ok when he canceled dates (he did that a lot) or when he didn't call. this was not sorry. how could he have falled to mention this? i am very hurt. we were friends for 2 years before we started dating and suddenly i'm his girlfriend and i'm part of the other people catagory. he said he'd call later. while we were friends i was always there for him. i'm a caring person. i dodn't know what to. he was my first real boyfriend. he wants to be friends, but i don't trust him and i have lost respect for him. i told him last night i thought he acted like a jerk in the scenario. he said he wasn't and promised to call tonight to discuss it. i don't see the point. when would we see each other as friends? i'm ready to move on. if he calls (which he prob won't) what do i say? but mostly, am i right to be upset? everyone else is happy for him but i can't help but be incredibly angry.
Singles & Dating - 1 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
hes a jerk. no, really. u have the right to be angry.. and if he calls.. well.. be normal, but not overly friendly nor hostile. if your overly friendly it seems ur trying to suck up and if ur angry it only shows u still care a great lot. So, in otherwords be nice and wish him luck at his new school (he'll need it with his personality) to let him know indirectly you're over him and you will NOT be totally hungover and turn into a friends with benefit. If you want to forget about him.. i recommend you to stop all contact because time fades things like this away and tell him dw about calling u everynight cos u'll be busy.. painting ur nails. He'll get the point.. haha goodluck
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Monday, April 28, 2014
From a guy's point of view, was this a ploy to get in my pants?
From a guy's point of view, was this a ploy to get in my pants?
This guy that I went to high school with found me on myspace, added me as a friend, then sent me a message saying, "Always wanted to talk to you in high school, but was too shy." I was shocked because I had no idea he even knew who I was. We didn't know each other back then and never talked. He kept wanting to get together, but I never said anything. Then I found out he was leaving that states to go overseas for a job, so I finally gave him my number. We went out, had dinner. Then the week after he texted me saying he as "horny." I texted back and said, "Me too." So, we had sex the second time we got together. The night before he left the states, he texted me again and asked me if I wanted to go down on him, I said I couldn't and that was that. He said that I could visit him and when he got back we could "discuss" it. I was keeping in touch with him on facebook and I was writing to him saying stuff how much I missed him, how are you, etc, etc. He said that he missed me too. At first he replied to my messages, then he stopped writing. Then as a joke I wrote him a comment on his page and said, "Where's your woman?" He got pissed and deleted me. I apologized and wouldn't take it back. Later he said the reason he deleted me was because I was being obsessive and posessive and everything that I've written to him proves that theory. I just wrote him messages that I missed him, happy holidays, if he liked the pictures that I posted. It wasn't like him to just cut me off like that. I found out that he got married last month. I had no idea he was seeing someone. He could've at least told me he was in a relationship, then I would've stopped writing. Guys, what do you think about this? Did just use me?
Singles & Dating - 7 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
I've only read the first sentence and that's all I have to read to know that guy just totally used you.
2 :
Used you.
3 :
Get a grip, grow up, and think about whether any guy respects any girls with morals like yours.
4 :
What females need to understand is if a guy tries to get sexual with you before you date him then yes he is using you. if you like a guy and want to date then dont give it up until you know thats not all he wants.
5 :
unfortunately, yes i do think he used you. i'm so sorry hun. learn from your mistake and move on from him. he's a dead end. good luck!
6 :
Why are you banging guys you barely know on the 2nd date, that was your very first and huge mistake...It's nice when they tell you sweet things but just because you're both horny doesn't mean you have to have sex with a guy who says i wish i could have spoke to you when i was in high school. He used you and cheated on his hidden gf. What a great guy......
7 :
Yes...he used you...but you gave it up on the 2nd date...so..I think it all balances out. Just let it go, and learn not to drop your panties so early in a relationship, if you're gonna feel bad about it afterwards.
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This guy that I went to high school with found me on myspace, added me as a friend, then sent me a message saying, "Always wanted to talk to you in high school, but was too shy." I was shocked because I had no idea he even knew who I was. We didn't know each other back then and never talked. He kept wanting to get together, but I never said anything. Then I found out he was leaving that states to go overseas for a job, so I finally gave him my number. We went out, had dinner. Then the week after he texted me saying he as "horny." I texted back and said, "Me too." So, we had sex the second time we got together. The night before he left the states, he texted me again and asked me if I wanted to go down on him, I said I couldn't and that was that. He said that I could visit him and when he got back we could "discuss" it. I was keeping in touch with him on facebook and I was writing to him saying stuff how much I missed him, how are you, etc, etc. He said that he missed me too. At first he replied to my messages, then he stopped writing. Then as a joke I wrote him a comment on his page and said, "Where's your woman?" He got pissed and deleted me. I apologized and wouldn't take it back. Later he said the reason he deleted me was because I was being obsessive and posessive and everything that I've written to him proves that theory. I just wrote him messages that I missed him, happy holidays, if he liked the pictures that I posted. It wasn't like him to just cut me off like that. I found out that he got married last month. I had no idea he was seeing someone. He could've at least told me he was in a relationship, then I would've stopped writing. Guys, what do you think about this? Did just use me?
Singles & Dating - 7 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
I've only read the first sentence and that's all I have to read to know that guy just totally used you.
2 :
Used you.
3 :
Get a grip, grow up, and think about whether any guy respects any girls with morals like yours.
4 :
What females need to understand is if a guy tries to get sexual with you before you date him then yes he is using you. if you like a guy and want to date then dont give it up until you know thats not all he wants.
5 :
unfortunately, yes i do think he used you. i'm so sorry hun. learn from your mistake and move on from him. he's a dead end. good luck!
6 :
Why are you banging guys you barely know on the 2nd date, that was your very first and huge mistake...It's nice when they tell you sweet things but just because you're both horny doesn't mean you have to have sex with a guy who says i wish i could have spoke to you when i was in high school. He used you and cheated on his hidden gf. What a great guy......
7 :
Yes...he used you...but you gave it up on the 2nd date...so..I think it all balances out. Just let it go, and learn not to drop your panties so early in a relationship, if you're gonna feel bad about it afterwards.
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Monday, April 14, 2014
Should I risk opening connections with a guy I personally find annoying in order to set him up with my friend?
Should I risk opening connections with a guy I personally find annoying in order to set him up with my friend?
There's a guy. Let's call him John. John apparently had a big crush on me in high school and decided to friend me on Facebook about 6 years later and tell me. He has indicated interest in me now, I have told him I am not interested, and he rescinded his interest. Now he says he only ever wanted to be friends, but does not seem to get the (sometimes very blatant) hint that I do not want to be friends with him. I find him highly annoying and make no attempt to disguise this. He very frequently IMs me on Facebook just to say "hey" and then "what's up" (if I respond) without actually having anything further to discuss after that point. I am thisclose to just removing his ass from my friend list and telling him to never contact me again. However, I have this other good friend who we will call Debbie. Debbie is not an unattractive girl but she is what some people might also find to be somewhat annoying. I suspect I am her only good friend because she clings to me desperately in social situations and seems to rely entirely upon me in order to even have a social life. She could also really use a guy in her life, as she has low self esteem and is very shy with guys and I think it might give her some confidence to have some male attention for a little while. Also, for the love of god, the woman needs to get laid. So obviously it has occurred to me that I might be able to fix these two up. John would be off my back if he takes to Debbie, and Debbie would be a bit happier if the two of them hit it off. The problem is that I'm unsure as to how to go about this. It seems to me that the best, most polite thing to do would be to invite both of them out and introduce them in person. (A friend or two said I should just give them each other's contact info but that seems unclassy to me and I feel that would make it uncomfortable for her because she is quite shy.) But if it's just me and the two of them, I foresee him forgetting which of us he's with, and her shyly fading into the background, leaving him to think he is on a date with me! (Or even that I invited him as MY friend because I WANT to hang out with him.) There was another guy I was hoping I might be able to invite for myself by this point but that didn't exactly work out for me. There's another guy I'm currently scoping but I don't know how that's going to turn out either. So, should I just buck up and invite the two of them out with me and endure what will undoubtedly be an awkward situation for myself, or should I wait until I can invite a guy to hang out with ME leaving the two of them together? Or should I just invite another girl friend and tell her to stick with me? The other problem is that if I invite John I fear he will take that as some warped sign that I have some interest in him. In fact when I suggested that he might hit it off with my friend (when he was hitting on me) he was all, "OMG you really DO want to be friends with me, I'm so happy!!" I've already told him off in the past (and very bluntly told him I do NOT want to be friends) and yet he continued to IM me, sure that I would "come around" eventually and now he thinks I want to be friends. I do not want this guy to think I have any interest in a personal friendship with him but it could turn out to be a good thing for Debbie.
Etiquette - 1 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
I only read your initial question and will advise you not to play matchmaker. If usually ends in disaster. And judging by the length of your question, you don't need anymore problems.
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There's a guy. Let's call him John. John apparently had a big crush on me in high school and decided to friend me on Facebook about 6 years later and tell me. He has indicated interest in me now, I have told him I am not interested, and he rescinded his interest. Now he says he only ever wanted to be friends, but does not seem to get the (sometimes very blatant) hint that I do not want to be friends with him. I find him highly annoying and make no attempt to disguise this. He very frequently IMs me on Facebook just to say "hey" and then "what's up" (if I respond) without actually having anything further to discuss after that point. I am thisclose to just removing his ass from my friend list and telling him to never contact me again. However, I have this other good friend who we will call Debbie. Debbie is not an unattractive girl but she is what some people might also find to be somewhat annoying. I suspect I am her only good friend because she clings to me desperately in social situations and seems to rely entirely upon me in order to even have a social life. She could also really use a guy in her life, as she has low self esteem and is very shy with guys and I think it might give her some confidence to have some male attention for a little while. Also, for the love of god, the woman needs to get laid. So obviously it has occurred to me that I might be able to fix these two up. John would be off my back if he takes to Debbie, and Debbie would be a bit happier if the two of them hit it off. The problem is that I'm unsure as to how to go about this. It seems to me that the best, most polite thing to do would be to invite both of them out and introduce them in person. (A friend or two said I should just give them each other's contact info but that seems unclassy to me and I feel that would make it uncomfortable for her because she is quite shy.) But if it's just me and the two of them, I foresee him forgetting which of us he's with, and her shyly fading into the background, leaving him to think he is on a date with me! (Or even that I invited him as MY friend because I WANT to hang out with him.) There was another guy I was hoping I might be able to invite for myself by this point but that didn't exactly work out for me. There's another guy I'm currently scoping but I don't know how that's going to turn out either. So, should I just buck up and invite the two of them out with me and endure what will undoubtedly be an awkward situation for myself, or should I wait until I can invite a guy to hang out with ME leaving the two of them together? Or should I just invite another girl friend and tell her to stick with me? The other problem is that if I invite John I fear he will take that as some warped sign that I have some interest in him. In fact when I suggested that he might hit it off with my friend (when he was hitting on me) he was all, "OMG you really DO want to be friends with me, I'm so happy!!" I've already told him off in the past (and very bluntly told him I do NOT want to be friends) and yet he continued to IM me, sure that I would "come around" eventually and now he thinks I want to be friends. I do not want this guy to think I have any interest in a personal friendship with him but it could turn out to be a good thing for Debbie.
Etiquette - 1 Answers
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1 :
I only read your initial question and will advise you not to play matchmaker. If usually ends in disaster. And judging by the length of your question, you don't need anymore problems.
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Monday, April 7, 2014
Being around my boyfriend makes me sad and irritated, what should I do at this point?
Being around my boyfriend makes me sad and irritated, what should I do at this point?
Hi, lately I've been having trouble with my boyfriend of 5 months. We began dating in high school and now we are in college together. He is Asian and I am white, and he joined an Asian club and now the majority of his friends are of Asian culture. That does not bother me whatsoever, but lately I've been having feelings of inadequacy. I feel like I don't belong and that I'm not good enough when I'm around his friends and him. Also, he's made friends with several Asian girls that he texts frequently and chats on facebook with. I know I shouldn't feel jealous or angry, but it seems like he's always texting this one particular girl. The other day we went to the library to study and he led me over to where said girl and her friend were studying and I was forced to sit there and try to study while they laughed and exchanged inside jokes and discussed classes that they all have together. It makes me so angry that he's been cavorting about with all these girls when I'm not around. I believe he's been to the library several times with that particular girl, and they've gotten private study rooms together. Now whenever I'm with him instead of being happy, I just think about him and these girls and I get upset and give him the cold shoulder. I'm mainly sad and depressed when I'm with him because I fear that he's going to leave me for someone better and of his own ethnicity. And I don't know what to do or say. Any suggestions?
Singles & Dating - 7 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
holy cow y is it so long...and break up with him he is not worth your time plz you need some one that makes you feel loved and you don't feel like your wasting your time on them..because think of all that time wasted on someone that you don't like and that gets u upset
2 :
Just because someone is of his own ethnicity, that does not make them better than you. I think that's the first thing you need to realize. I also think that you have a right to be a little bit concerned about his behavior if it's just one particular girl and you notice him being more and more into her. Do you feel like he has been distancing himself from you at all? Have you tried talking to him and telling him how you feel? Maybe you just need to be reassured by him that he still feels the same about you and that no one is going to be taking your place.
3 :
Why don't you make some friends. Join a club or something. Find a Unitarian Universalist church or something. You know get out, volunteer, do something or be somewhere with people who make you feel good. You sound like a nice person so you should meet nice people.
4 :
Probably time to move on. You might talking to him if you really like him, but I don't think that it will make much difference.
5 :
Tell your boyfriend how you are feeling and see how he responds. Then, give it a few weeks to see if things get any better and if they don't then maybe you should think about breaking up. You deserve to be happy. (But if you break up then don't be surprised if he starts dating one of these girls...that's usually how it goes)
6 :
Well, I'm sorry you are feeling so down about this. The best thing you could do, and probably the only thing you could do to solve this problem in your relationship, is to talk to him about how you are feeling. Hopefully you can find the words to tell him in a way that doesn't make him feel like you just don't want him happy. Explain your reasons in why you feel this way, and maybe he will open up to how he feels about the current situation. Communication is very, very important in a relationship, and it seems like yours need some.
7 :
I'm white and I'm dating a Filipino. Sometimes I feel the same way. I actually talked to my bf about it and he's like "I'm dating you. I don't an asian chick." Sometimes the comments he makes make me feel inferiorer even though they aren't even directed to me. Like he always mentions being Filipino - I was like well I never mention being ... French! He was like huh? Talk to him about it. See if he's cheating on you. Sometimes guys are dumb and don't realize how you feel. Lucky for me my bf understood what I was saying (it took a couple of times). If it doesn't work out maybe you two need to break up. Good luck.
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Hi, lately I've been having trouble with my boyfriend of 5 months. We began dating in high school and now we are in college together. He is Asian and I am white, and he joined an Asian club and now the majority of his friends are of Asian culture. That does not bother me whatsoever, but lately I've been having feelings of inadequacy. I feel like I don't belong and that I'm not good enough when I'm around his friends and him. Also, he's made friends with several Asian girls that he texts frequently and chats on facebook with. I know I shouldn't feel jealous or angry, but it seems like he's always texting this one particular girl. The other day we went to the library to study and he led me over to where said girl and her friend were studying and I was forced to sit there and try to study while they laughed and exchanged inside jokes and discussed classes that they all have together. It makes me so angry that he's been cavorting about with all these girls when I'm not around. I believe he's been to the library several times with that particular girl, and they've gotten private study rooms together. Now whenever I'm with him instead of being happy, I just think about him and these girls and I get upset and give him the cold shoulder. I'm mainly sad and depressed when I'm with him because I fear that he's going to leave me for someone better and of his own ethnicity. And I don't know what to do or say. Any suggestions?
Singles & Dating - 7 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
holy cow y is it so long...and break up with him he is not worth your time plz you need some one that makes you feel loved and you don't feel like your wasting your time on them..because think of all that time wasted on someone that you don't like and that gets u upset
2 :
Just because someone is of his own ethnicity, that does not make them better than you. I think that's the first thing you need to realize. I also think that you have a right to be a little bit concerned about his behavior if it's just one particular girl and you notice him being more and more into her. Do you feel like he has been distancing himself from you at all? Have you tried talking to him and telling him how you feel? Maybe you just need to be reassured by him that he still feels the same about you and that no one is going to be taking your place.
3 :
Why don't you make some friends. Join a club or something. Find a Unitarian Universalist church or something. You know get out, volunteer, do something or be somewhere with people who make you feel good. You sound like a nice person so you should meet nice people.
4 :
Probably time to move on. You might talking to him if you really like him, but I don't think that it will make much difference.
5 :
Tell your boyfriend how you are feeling and see how he responds. Then, give it a few weeks to see if things get any better and if they don't then maybe you should think about breaking up. You deserve to be happy. (But if you break up then don't be surprised if he starts dating one of these girls...that's usually how it goes)
6 :
Well, I'm sorry you are feeling so down about this. The best thing you could do, and probably the only thing you could do to solve this problem in your relationship, is to talk to him about how you are feeling. Hopefully you can find the words to tell him in a way that doesn't make him feel like you just don't want him happy. Explain your reasons in why you feel this way, and maybe he will open up to how he feels about the current situation. Communication is very, very important in a relationship, and it seems like yours need some.
7 :
I'm white and I'm dating a Filipino. Sometimes I feel the same way. I actually talked to my bf about it and he's like "I'm dating you. I don't an asian chick." Sometimes the comments he makes make me feel inferiorer even though they aren't even directed to me. Like he always mentions being Filipino - I was like well I never mention being ... French! He was like huh? Talk to him about it. See if he's cheating on you. Sometimes guys are dumb and don't realize how you feel. Lucky for me my bf understood what I was saying (it took a couple of times). If it doesn't work out maybe you two need to break up. Good luck.
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