Should I Email My Girlfriend A Little Long, Please Help!!?
I've had a girlfriend since June 3rd. She went to Hawaii for various reasons: She needs to lifeguard at Ewa Beach, has family there (she's half Hawaiian and very beautiful) and has to take some PSAT prep courses. Basically like a summer school. She's taking them there because she also has a home in Hawaii and it seemed better to her from her telling me about it. But there have been some problems. This guy (who was a childhood friend of hers) changed her relationship status on facebook and said that she is in a relationship with him and not me. I called and asked her about it, she was busy at the time but she briefly told me that he has her facebook password and he's "just messing with my profile." Now, I'm starting to have doubts though. I don't know if I can trust her on that even though she is a very understanding person in general. The guy blocked me from her and now I can't even see her profile. If he has just been messing around with her profile on facebook only I wouldn't worry too much but if he's calling her.. Telling her that he wants her or something, that's what I should be worried about. The last time I spoke to her on the phone was about the change on the facebook profile and I've tried calling her and there has been no answer. We promised not to see other people (as in dating others). I've only met the guy once so confronting him is probably not a good idea. So should I try to email her saying I really want to discuss things with you? Or should I just leave her? I'm going to be 18 tomorrow so I really don't know what to do!! My girlfriend is 16 years old.
Singles & Dating - 2 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Leave her. If you act all desperate you'll push her to the other guy. Leave her to make her mind up and if she chooses the other guy then you wouldn't have worked out anyway. The fact that he knows her facebook password is a little weird but he's obviously worried about you. If they were in a strong relationship you wouldn't be a threat. Just back off and let her come to you.
2 :
Leave her because if he has her password then they are VERY close. Far too close for a girl who's supposed to be in a relationship. She's not taking the relationship as serious as you are, so you need to let it go. She's allowing this to feed into her desire to feel wanted, and you being frustrated about it will only make her feel important. You don't need that, move on.
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Saturday, July 14, 2012
Saturday, July 7, 2012
How do I terminate my portion of a lease early that I signed with a "friend"?
How do I terminate my portion of a lease early that I signed with a "friend"?
Living in Hawaii, currently in month 10 of a 24 month lease that is signed by two individuals. We were "friends" from Facebook. I moved here from out of state and didn't have a job. After signing the lease with this other person, I found a job and freelance work but it's much too far to continue this ridiculous commute. With gas at $4.00 a gallon, it's costing me $425 a month to fill the tank 5 times. I can't afford a new car and can't take the bus as I need my vehicle to visit clients during work. From our vast differences in maintaining a household, this "friendship" has only gotten worse. I'm working two jobs practically 12/7 and the housemate is home nearly 24/7. I've met with and discussed these issues with the property manager but he doesn't want to get involved with the "domestic issues". He said I can get out of the lease and have my portion of the deposit returned if the other person signs on 100% or finds a new tenant to take my place. The house mate doesn't want full responsibility of the lease (which was their idea for 24 months versus 12 in the first place). The housemate has also poo-pooed any suggestions I've made about finding a new tenant on Craigslist, Facebook or other resources. The property manager has stated that we can both get out of the lease without recourse if we both move. Even though the housemate admits to not enjoy living here, they say they "can't afford to move". "When friends helped me move last time, a lot of my things got broken and damaged" was the reply. I've been more than patient, accommodating, honest, respectful and fair. This "person" makes me feel as though I'm only renting a room in the house as they have hogged all but one "spare" room simply because I didn't bring furniture with me. I don't want to sound like a drama queen, but I seriously need to get out of this situation or I'm going to develop health issues. I find myself staying in town late and eating out to avoid having to come home because of this situation. Every single suggestion I have made about me moving out has been shot down by this person. They claim to have had made 10 attempts asking other people if they wanted to move in but when they find out where the house is, they are no longer interested because of its proximity to "town". I have been a tenant before. I have been a landlord before. Although I admit to being fastidious about keeping the house in order, the housemate is the complete opposite. The living room and dining room are filled with their unpacked boxes still, after 10 months. There are far too many issues to list here and I don't want digress from the main purpose of writing. PLEASE HELP! All I want is to terminate my portion of the lease and move. I'll even forfeit my portion of the deposit. I just need to get my things out of here and move on with my life... alone. A little side note; I believe that this person has great satisfaction in knowing that they have "control" of my life and destiny. It is truly an unhealthy situation. I'm a creative person and the housemate exudes such negative energy that it stifles my creativity. They have created a toxic living environment and I am being poisoned by the negativity. Someone please help! Mahalo nui loa!
Renting & Real Estate - 1 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
You can't. You pay till the lease ends or find someone to sublet your share
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Living in Hawaii, currently in month 10 of a 24 month lease that is signed by two individuals. We were "friends" from Facebook. I moved here from out of state and didn't have a job. After signing the lease with this other person, I found a job and freelance work but it's much too far to continue this ridiculous commute. With gas at $4.00 a gallon, it's costing me $425 a month to fill the tank 5 times. I can't afford a new car and can't take the bus as I need my vehicle to visit clients during work. From our vast differences in maintaining a household, this "friendship" has only gotten worse. I'm working two jobs practically 12/7 and the housemate is home nearly 24/7. I've met with and discussed these issues with the property manager but he doesn't want to get involved with the "domestic issues". He said I can get out of the lease and have my portion of the deposit returned if the other person signs on 100% or finds a new tenant to take my place. The house mate doesn't want full responsibility of the lease (which was their idea for 24 months versus 12 in the first place). The housemate has also poo-pooed any suggestions I've made about finding a new tenant on Craigslist, Facebook or other resources. The property manager has stated that we can both get out of the lease without recourse if we both move. Even though the housemate admits to not enjoy living here, they say they "can't afford to move". "When friends helped me move last time, a lot of my things got broken and damaged" was the reply. I've been more than patient, accommodating, honest, respectful and fair. This "person" makes me feel as though I'm only renting a room in the house as they have hogged all but one "spare" room simply because I didn't bring furniture with me. I don't want to sound like a drama queen, but I seriously need to get out of this situation or I'm going to develop health issues. I find myself staying in town late and eating out to avoid having to come home because of this situation. Every single suggestion I have made about me moving out has been shot down by this person. They claim to have had made 10 attempts asking other people if they wanted to move in but when they find out where the house is, they are no longer interested because of its proximity to "town". I have been a tenant before. I have been a landlord before. Although I admit to being fastidious about keeping the house in order, the housemate is the complete opposite. The living room and dining room are filled with their unpacked boxes still, after 10 months. There are far too many issues to list here and I don't want digress from the main purpose of writing. PLEASE HELP! All I want is to terminate my portion of the lease and move. I'll even forfeit my portion of the deposit. I just need to get my things out of here and move on with my life... alone. A little side note; I believe that this person has great satisfaction in knowing that they have "control" of my life and destiny. It is truly an unhealthy situation. I'm a creative person and the housemate exudes such negative energy that it stifles my creativity. They have created a toxic living environment and I am being poisoned by the negativity. Someone please help! Mahalo nui loa!
Renting & Real Estate - 1 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
You can't. You pay till the lease ends or find someone to sublet your share
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Sunday, July 1, 2012
I'm hurting [please help!!!]?
I'm hurting [please help!!!]?
Alright, here's the deal: I've been in this on-and-off again relationship for the past year and a half with this chick. Can honestly say I love her to death. I've overlooked the lies, deceit, and so forth on a few occasions and still stuck by her side to make it work. She has a daughter, who is now 3, that looks up to me and calls me daddy (even though I'm not the biological father) ... We've lived together, I'd get kicked out, invited back, I'd leave, come back. It was basically dysfunctional. (But I kept finding my way back to her in the name of "LOVE"). & even at times of our split, I still played the background and served as a safety net- and still took care of this little girl/her daughter, with no questions asked...) I eventually got my own place, and was doing fine. About 2 months ago we started "talking again".. & 3 weeks ago, I ended my lease early to move into a spot with her.. Last week? We get into an argument, and for once, I'm the one to blame-- and I swear the argument wasn't that major.. - either way, she ended up kicking me out.. So --- of course she still has my belongings, so we set up a date for me to get my stuff.. As I'm getting my stuff, I guess she called her cousin from W. Virginia to come/spend the night. Her cousin brought her bf and I guess a guy for my ex-girl.... They end up going to W. Virginia, and apparently these 2 (my ex and this new guy) formed a "48 hour" love thing- unbeknown to me. So, while I'm contacting my gf trying to make it work- they come back from W. Virginia and he's in her house- spending the night .. I ask if I can come over, if we can talk, have dinner and discuss our relationship. She tells me, no, her cousin is over, and not to come by because she's going back to W. Virginia later ... she just needs time by herself to think things through... Turns out, she lied to me.. Her "cousin" wasn't there at all, it was actually this new guy her cousin hooked her up with. So, last night, when I found out I couldn't sleep, it hurts me, how she could throw our family away over some new guy she just met.. She sends me a message basically saying she misses me, and we'll talk about our relationship when she gets back... Then she goes on her facebook, and updates her status saying "She met a new guy and she's feeling him a lot".. & of course we have mutual friends, so this is how I found out.. Oh yeah, forgot to mention... She told me she's planning on moving to W. Virginia soon (We live in Maryland). I told her not to contact me ever again - even in regards to the little girl.. & it's strange because she left the little girl unattended with this man while she called me the other day from the store -- i asked where "my daughter" was, and she said with her counsin, in the house.. but they're about to leave out soon... While really, she left him with this man she just met--- All of this is too much to take in, and I'm hurting tremendously..
Singles & Dating - 4 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
well i dont know really what to tell you its your choice of what you do but she doesnt know what she wants and is basically playing around with your heart you honestly need to move on and find someone new dont keep going back to someone who is just going to break your heart
2 :
i think from what you tell me it,s never going to work shes on again off again and doesnt know what she wants. it,s time to bite the bullet, get out of that relationship while your still sane
3 :
That's really sad. I feel awful for the situation the little girl is put in, that's no way to live or influence a child at all. It's a shame you're not the biological father... so you could try to get custody or something. You sound like a nice guy. I think you should just leave her be for a bit. Let her go. However, the little girl does concern me. You NEED to talk to her to see what's going to happen with her. You've bonded with her and she's calling you daddy. Something needs to work out about that. I know it hurts, but there are so many women in this world... you'll find the right one eventually. One who won't kick you out. It sounds like she kicks you out after every argument. That's crazy.
4 :
If I was you I would just leave her alone. She sounds like trouble. As for hurting, you're human and you're gonna hurt. It'll take time for you to heal. These things have to run there course. Surround yourself with good, supportive friends. Just get out there and go on with your life. One day you'll look back on this as one of life's hard lessons.
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Alright, here's the deal: I've been in this on-and-off again relationship for the past year and a half with this chick. Can honestly say I love her to death. I've overlooked the lies, deceit, and so forth on a few occasions and still stuck by her side to make it work. She has a daughter, who is now 3, that looks up to me and calls me daddy (even though I'm not the biological father) ... We've lived together, I'd get kicked out, invited back, I'd leave, come back. It was basically dysfunctional. (But I kept finding my way back to her in the name of "LOVE"). & even at times of our split, I still played the background and served as a safety net- and still took care of this little girl/her daughter, with no questions asked...) I eventually got my own place, and was doing fine. About 2 months ago we started "talking again".. & 3 weeks ago, I ended my lease early to move into a spot with her.. Last week? We get into an argument, and for once, I'm the one to blame-- and I swear the argument wasn't that major.. - either way, she ended up kicking me out.. So --- of course she still has my belongings, so we set up a date for me to get my stuff.. As I'm getting my stuff, I guess she called her cousin from W. Virginia to come/spend the night. Her cousin brought her bf and I guess a guy for my ex-girl.... They end up going to W. Virginia, and apparently these 2 (my ex and this new guy) formed a "48 hour" love thing- unbeknown to me. So, while I'm contacting my gf trying to make it work- they come back from W. Virginia and he's in her house- spending the night .. I ask if I can come over, if we can talk, have dinner and discuss our relationship. She tells me, no, her cousin is over, and not to come by because she's going back to W. Virginia later ... she just needs time by herself to think things through... Turns out, she lied to me.. Her "cousin" wasn't there at all, it was actually this new guy her cousin hooked her up with. So, last night, when I found out I couldn't sleep, it hurts me, how she could throw our family away over some new guy she just met.. She sends me a message basically saying she misses me, and we'll talk about our relationship when she gets back... Then she goes on her facebook, and updates her status saying "She met a new guy and she's feeling him a lot".. & of course we have mutual friends, so this is how I found out.. Oh yeah, forgot to mention... She told me she's planning on moving to W. Virginia soon (We live in Maryland). I told her not to contact me ever again - even in regards to the little girl.. & it's strange because she left the little girl unattended with this man while she called me the other day from the store -- i asked where "my daughter" was, and she said with her counsin, in the house.. but they're about to leave out soon... While really, she left him with this man she just met--- All of this is too much to take in, and I'm hurting tremendously..
Singles & Dating - 4 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
well i dont know really what to tell you its your choice of what you do but she doesnt know what she wants and is basically playing around with your heart you honestly need to move on and find someone new dont keep going back to someone who is just going to break your heart
2 :
i think from what you tell me it,s never going to work shes on again off again and doesnt know what she wants. it,s time to bite the bullet, get out of that relationship while your still sane
3 :
That's really sad. I feel awful for the situation the little girl is put in, that's no way to live or influence a child at all. It's a shame you're not the biological father... so you could try to get custody or something. You sound like a nice guy. I think you should just leave her be for a bit. Let her go. However, the little girl does concern me. You NEED to talk to her to see what's going to happen with her. You've bonded with her and she's calling you daddy. Something needs to work out about that. I know it hurts, but there are so many women in this world... you'll find the right one eventually. One who won't kick you out. It sounds like she kicks you out after every argument. That's crazy.
4 :
If I was you I would just leave her alone. She sounds like trouble. As for hurting, you're human and you're gonna hurt. It'll take time for you to heal. These things have to run there course. Surround yourself with good, supportive friends. Just get out there and go on with your life. One day you'll look back on this as one of life's hard lessons.
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Thursday, June 28, 2012
Why cant I just let it go?
Why cant I just let it go?
Well my husband and I have been together since High School. We are 30 years old and benn out of high school for 12years now! Any way when we were dating in our senor year my husband had a crush on this female. Well all these years he denied anything happened between them but in January he admitted that he had feelings for her when we were in high school. Well we started face booking and I noticed that she was one of his friends on facebook. At first it didn't bother me.............I was going through my husband phone one day and noticed a strange text. It wasn't nothing sexual just casual conversation but I just couldn't put my finger on who this person was. I knew it was a female and it made me very upset! Why? Because I felt he was being sneaky about it! I suspect that it was this other female from high school and we discussed it and he WOULD NOT tell me who it was! Well just yesterday I noticed he text ed this female Happy Birthday and put 2 and 2 together and realized it was her. Well I WAS JEALOUS about the whole thing because for one she is single! I asked him why he felt the need to text her for every holiday and her birthday and he stated because they are cool friends and nothing more than that! I pissed off that he even has her phone number!! I cant sleep because I just cant let it go..............I cant help to think how often they text each other and what is it that they need to talk about. She lives in Virginia and we live in Florida. They are not sleeping around but what is considering cheating? Im am very heart broken about this and he says I become annoying when I bring her up because its nothing. I feel he shouldn't be communicating with her. What are your thoughts should I maker her my facebook friend?
Marriage & Divorce - 9 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
annoying? he chats with another woman and says you are annoying? unbelievable! get your phone and find someone to text and see how he likes it. he wont but maybe he will get it then. sometimes you have to do the same to make them understand.
2 :
Well I'm not sure if he's cheating, but he's hiding things and that is always a bad sign.
3 :
He needs to stop talking to her because he at one time had feelings for this person and maybe even did something with this person in the past that you dont know about. I am recently married and I respect my husband enough to have to contact with anyone i have had feeing for dated slept with nothing..if i run into them and they say hi i say a simple hi back and leave it at that. My husband and I attend the same church as my ex best friend/boyfriend. And i respect my ex at church but I dont go out of my way to text him or have contact with him for respect for my husband. And my husband has no contact with anyone from his past. When your actually MARRIED no wife or husband should have any contact with someone they have or had lust towards..its sinful in the eyes of the LORD! He needs to drop the girl and her number or go be with her.
4 :
I feel the same as you! What is the need to talk to her? If he see your hurt by it and is bringing it up then he needs to stop it. If it is not important it shouldn't be a problem to stop it. Did she say tell your wife hello? did she call to speak with you to make all three of you friends? why so many secrets? I wouldn't care if she lived in Virginia! That means nothing these days. I don't like the sounds of this!!!!!
5 :
Couldn't agree with you more. The fact that you found out that he was communicating with her on your own without him telling you shows that he never had any intention of you finding out. He wanted to keep it secret because he didn't want to have to explain to you. If he didn't want to explain it there's a reason. Clearly he still has a thing for her and to say it's annoying when you bring it up just adds insult to injury. If I were you I'd text or call her myself and find out why she thinks she needs to be in contact with your husband and then I'd have some choice words for her too. Put your foot down with your husband, throw a fit, whatever you need to do and tell him that this relationship he's having with her needs to end now. Tell him it's either you or her, end of story. I'm sorry but this is retarded. Your husband is taken, he has no right to be flirting and carrying on an emotional affair with this woman from high school. Stop allowing this. You have more power in this situation than you think - start exercising that power.
6 :
He's disrespecting you and your marriage. There's no reason for him to be chatting up and taking an emotional interest in an old high school crush. And there's absolutely no reason that he should be hiding things from you. You have the right to be upset about his behavior and demand accountability for his actions.
7 :
Well you should talk to him about this. After all of this, if it still keeps going on, then ask him why he feels it necessary to talk to her behind your back. However, I will also say you sound very jealous and controlling, and so the reason why you can't let it go is because the thought of him texting an old high school sweetheart is far to disturbing to you than it is to him, being cordial to someone he once cared about. Frankly does he listen in on your conversations with your friends? Probably not. So he hardly knows about who you talk to and why. He figures he can trust you, therefore you can trust him. However, its apparent you don't trust him. That's why you can't trust him.
8 :
If it really is nothing then your husband should have no problem discontinuing contact with her. He needs to choose between what is more important. His wife or his "friend." It doesn't matter if anything is going on. The fact is you are bothered by her. He needs to value your feelings enough to stop any communication via FB, texting or phone calls.
9 :
No, you need to get the phone bill and see just how often he does talk to her. If he had to sneak to do it it is cheating. Have him call or text her and be very clear that there will be no more contact. Don't add her to fb, delete her from his. Good luck!
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Well my husband and I have been together since High School. We are 30 years old and benn out of high school for 12years now! Any way when we were dating in our senor year my husband had a crush on this female. Well all these years he denied anything happened between them but in January he admitted that he had feelings for her when we were in high school. Well we started face booking and I noticed that she was one of his friends on facebook. At first it didn't bother me.............I was going through my husband phone one day and noticed a strange text. It wasn't nothing sexual just casual conversation but I just couldn't put my finger on who this person was. I knew it was a female and it made me very upset! Why? Because I felt he was being sneaky about it! I suspect that it was this other female from high school and we discussed it and he WOULD NOT tell me who it was! Well just yesterday I noticed he text ed this female Happy Birthday and put 2 and 2 together and realized it was her. Well I WAS JEALOUS about the whole thing because for one she is single! I asked him why he felt the need to text her for every holiday and her birthday and he stated because they are cool friends and nothing more than that! I pissed off that he even has her phone number!! I cant sleep because I just cant let it go..............I cant help to think how often they text each other and what is it that they need to talk about. She lives in Virginia and we live in Florida. They are not sleeping around but what is considering cheating? Im am very heart broken about this and he says I become annoying when I bring her up because its nothing. I feel he shouldn't be communicating with her. What are your thoughts should I maker her my facebook friend?
Marriage & Divorce - 9 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
annoying? he chats with another woman and says you are annoying? unbelievable! get your phone and find someone to text and see how he likes it. he wont but maybe he will get it then. sometimes you have to do the same to make them understand.
2 :
Well I'm not sure if he's cheating, but he's hiding things and that is always a bad sign.
3 :
He needs to stop talking to her because he at one time had feelings for this person and maybe even did something with this person in the past that you dont know about. I am recently married and I respect my husband enough to have to contact with anyone i have had feeing for dated slept with nothing..if i run into them and they say hi i say a simple hi back and leave it at that. My husband and I attend the same church as my ex best friend/boyfriend. And i respect my ex at church but I dont go out of my way to text him or have contact with him for respect for my husband. And my husband has no contact with anyone from his past. When your actually MARRIED no wife or husband should have any contact with someone they have or had lust towards..its sinful in the eyes of the LORD! He needs to drop the girl and her number or go be with her.
4 :
I feel the same as you! What is the need to talk to her? If he see your hurt by it and is bringing it up then he needs to stop it. If it is not important it shouldn't be a problem to stop it. Did she say tell your wife hello? did she call to speak with you to make all three of you friends? why so many secrets? I wouldn't care if she lived in Virginia! That means nothing these days. I don't like the sounds of this!!!!!
5 :
Couldn't agree with you more. The fact that you found out that he was communicating with her on your own without him telling you shows that he never had any intention of you finding out. He wanted to keep it secret because he didn't want to have to explain to you. If he didn't want to explain it there's a reason. Clearly he still has a thing for her and to say it's annoying when you bring it up just adds insult to injury. If I were you I'd text or call her myself and find out why she thinks she needs to be in contact with your husband and then I'd have some choice words for her too. Put your foot down with your husband, throw a fit, whatever you need to do and tell him that this relationship he's having with her needs to end now. Tell him it's either you or her, end of story. I'm sorry but this is retarded. Your husband is taken, he has no right to be flirting and carrying on an emotional affair with this woman from high school. Stop allowing this. You have more power in this situation than you think - start exercising that power.
6 :
He's disrespecting you and your marriage. There's no reason for him to be chatting up and taking an emotional interest in an old high school crush. And there's absolutely no reason that he should be hiding things from you. You have the right to be upset about his behavior and demand accountability for his actions.
7 :
Well you should talk to him about this. After all of this, if it still keeps going on, then ask him why he feels it necessary to talk to her behind your back. However, I will also say you sound very jealous and controlling, and so the reason why you can't let it go is because the thought of him texting an old high school sweetheart is far to disturbing to you than it is to him, being cordial to someone he once cared about. Frankly does he listen in on your conversations with your friends? Probably not. So he hardly knows about who you talk to and why. He figures he can trust you, therefore you can trust him. However, its apparent you don't trust him. That's why you can't trust him.
8 :
If it really is nothing then your husband should have no problem discontinuing contact with her. He needs to choose between what is more important. His wife or his "friend." It doesn't matter if anything is going on. The fact is you are bothered by her. He needs to value your feelings enough to stop any communication via FB, texting or phone calls.
9 :
No, you need to get the phone bill and see just how often he does talk to her. If he had to sneak to do it it is cheating. Have him call or text her and be very clear that there will be no more contact. Don't add her to fb, delete her from his. Good luck!
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Thursday, June 14, 2012
I have so much hatred... what can I do to destroy it?
I have so much hatred... what can I do to destroy it?
It all started on August 12, 2009. My life circumstances have gone totally downhill and I have stored so much hatred against two people, the ones responsible for all my disgrace until this very second I'm writing. I had a good job in Northern Virginia. Good pay, my own apartment, good friends, and an overall stability. Though my job was never the best environment, this date I mentioned above, changed my life and up to now it has been all generally bad. I had a question on a job I was doing and I went to my supervisor. He took the time to ask me a question to test my knowledge and I could not provide the right answer. His mood went bad. He told me he was shocked and began to scold me for past works, that I was taking long and from there, it just went really bad. I did not have a good evaluation even after taking my free time to study and read and get up to speed because his question went more difficult and more difficult. In September, he gave me a job but never told what was the deadline, so I tried to do it the best I could, and it was my very first time doing such a job. The following day he came to me to ask me if I was finished, but I was just on my 20%. So I took the job home and tried to rush and kept working until 4:30am. I did not sleep much, and I delivered the job next day. Everything seemed ok. The next week one of my coworkers found a mistake and told him and he scolded me inside his office with the door shut criticizing my job. Next day he gave me a "technical" evaluation and he told almost two hours just to mention how bad I was doing. Then, a couple of weeks later, because I was going to have a new supervisor because this SOB went to another branch, he took my new supervisor for the final evaluation. He denigrated me in front of the other, passing the bad perception to him because though my personal relationship with the new supervisor was somehow better, he still gave me a bad evaluation later. I quickly noticed when discussing with him that he was simply afraid to give me a good evaluation because it would seem weird and could cause a bad perception on his boss in terms of inconsistency. But the thing that worsened the situation was this f@#$ SOB co-worker, he mocked me every way he could, in Facebook, in Evite Invitations, in e-mails, I was a fool to not have reported him I know, but this guy I am sure was the masterpiece author of all my disgraces there. He mocked a handicapped co-worker as well and was extremely troublesome with many people around- but he had 15 years of experience and so he delivered good jobs in short time, which is basically what matters to most companies. He went to some of my friends to talk about me and how bad I was doing, but they knew better and noticed he was a prick. Some of them ended infuriated with him because of personal problems with him (which I had nothing to do with). He even slammed a door to one of the female workers in the office. So, having made very good friends and liking the area (I still talk to them today), I made the sad decision to give up my independence and stability and had to resign, had to leave the area and now I am in Florida. Before leaving, the supervisor gave me fair evaluation and even a portrait. Weird, right? Here I am- living my parents, passing through very tough moments, have no money, no independence, bored, have applied to hundreds of jobs and it is now, almost one year later, that I have been contacted for interviews. It is now that I am feeling some sort of comfort but my first interview did not work, I believe I did well but they simply chose someone better; and now I am waiting for another interview, it was going to be yesterday but they had to postpone it to sometime in the future they don't still know. They said they were going to call me to set the new time, but I guess I have to wait. Nevertheless, there is a big situation in my family which is going to burst pretty soon and I will have to presence it. My friends there in Virginia keep having a lot of success (and I am happy with them!) while here I am, stuck, stagnant, fu@#$% depending on my parents like a fu@#$% kid, 28 years old I am supposed to have a home, independence, I have tried lots of jobs in my field and unrelated to my field but the freakin' economy is bad and I have no freakin' clue when I will have a job, and all of this is thanks to those two f@#$% SOB that I hate with all my heart! I am in the point I am cursing them everyday, my hatred against them is so, so strong, they have made my life miserable, I remember by good times as an independent man and thanks to with those f@#$%%'s I am here waiting for a big problem to burst in my family and having to be here when it happens (I have nothing to do with it), not be able to travel around because I have no money. I was raised a Christian and I never hated anyone, of course there have been incidents with some people, but these two are the ones that h
Religion & Spirituality - 5 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Anger Management/Counseling
2 :
You will have to stop acting like a kid if you want to be not treated like one. I read this and i thought it was like a 15 year old or something
3 :
Go to your knees and pray that the Holy Spirit will calm your mind and give you peace. Spend more time studying the word of God in the Holy Bible and try to be obedient to God's will in all that you do. There will be no more room in your heart for hate.
4 :
Counseling... or marijuana
5 :
Well calm down. I know that you have hate in your heart but you -have- to let it go and you-have- to forgive them. You need to ask God for the strength to move on with your life and to forget about your past. It's done and over with, there is nothing you can do. You have to forgive those who wrong you if you want to be forgiven by God. So take it for what it is and let it go. Ask God to help you love these people. Pray for them everyday that they learn how to treat people better. Life is hard for a lot of people out there now, not just you. So be grateful that you even have a family to turn to in a time of need, and you aren't homeless! Have faith that God will take care of you and He will. Read the New Testament with an open heart. Be accepting of Jesus Christ and let go of all your anger and hate. Talk with God in prayer and allow Him to heal you.
Read more other entries :
It all started on August 12, 2009. My life circumstances have gone totally downhill and I have stored so much hatred against two people, the ones responsible for all my disgrace until this very second I'm writing. I had a good job in Northern Virginia. Good pay, my own apartment, good friends, and an overall stability. Though my job was never the best environment, this date I mentioned above, changed my life and up to now it has been all generally bad. I had a question on a job I was doing and I went to my supervisor. He took the time to ask me a question to test my knowledge and I could not provide the right answer. His mood went bad. He told me he was shocked and began to scold me for past works, that I was taking long and from there, it just went really bad. I did not have a good evaluation even after taking my free time to study and read and get up to speed because his question went more difficult and more difficult. In September, he gave me a job but never told what was the deadline, so I tried to do it the best I could, and it was my very first time doing such a job. The following day he came to me to ask me if I was finished, but I was just on my 20%. So I took the job home and tried to rush and kept working until 4:30am. I did not sleep much, and I delivered the job next day. Everything seemed ok. The next week one of my coworkers found a mistake and told him and he scolded me inside his office with the door shut criticizing my job. Next day he gave me a "technical" evaluation and he told almost two hours just to mention how bad I was doing. Then, a couple of weeks later, because I was going to have a new supervisor because this SOB went to another branch, he took my new supervisor for the final evaluation. He denigrated me in front of the other, passing the bad perception to him because though my personal relationship with the new supervisor was somehow better, he still gave me a bad evaluation later. I quickly noticed when discussing with him that he was simply afraid to give me a good evaluation because it would seem weird and could cause a bad perception on his boss in terms of inconsistency. But the thing that worsened the situation was this f@#$ SOB co-worker, he mocked me every way he could, in Facebook, in Evite Invitations, in e-mails, I was a fool to not have reported him I know, but this guy I am sure was the masterpiece author of all my disgraces there. He mocked a handicapped co-worker as well and was extremely troublesome with many people around- but he had 15 years of experience and so he delivered good jobs in short time, which is basically what matters to most companies. He went to some of my friends to talk about me and how bad I was doing, but they knew better and noticed he was a prick. Some of them ended infuriated with him because of personal problems with him (which I had nothing to do with). He even slammed a door to one of the female workers in the office. So, having made very good friends and liking the area (I still talk to them today), I made the sad decision to give up my independence and stability and had to resign, had to leave the area and now I am in Florida. Before leaving, the supervisor gave me fair evaluation and even a portrait. Weird, right? Here I am- living my parents, passing through very tough moments, have no money, no independence, bored, have applied to hundreds of jobs and it is now, almost one year later, that I have been contacted for interviews. It is now that I am feeling some sort of comfort but my first interview did not work, I believe I did well but they simply chose someone better; and now I am waiting for another interview, it was going to be yesterday but they had to postpone it to sometime in the future they don't still know. They said they were going to call me to set the new time, but I guess I have to wait. Nevertheless, there is a big situation in my family which is going to burst pretty soon and I will have to presence it. My friends there in Virginia keep having a lot of success (and I am happy with them!) while here I am, stuck, stagnant, fu@#$% depending on my parents like a fu@#$% kid, 28 years old I am supposed to have a home, independence, I have tried lots of jobs in my field and unrelated to my field but the freakin' economy is bad and I have no freakin' clue when I will have a job, and all of this is thanks to those two f@#$% SOB that I hate with all my heart! I am in the point I am cursing them everyday, my hatred against them is so, so strong, they have made my life miserable, I remember by good times as an independent man and thanks to with those f@#$%%'s I am here waiting for a big problem to burst in my family and having to be here when it happens (I have nothing to do with it), not be able to travel around because I have no money. I was raised a Christian and I never hated anyone, of course there have been incidents with some people, but these two are the ones that h
Religion & Spirituality - 5 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Anger Management/Counseling
2 :
You will have to stop acting like a kid if you want to be not treated like one. I read this and i thought it was like a 15 year old or something
3 :
Go to your knees and pray that the Holy Spirit will calm your mind and give you peace. Spend more time studying the word of God in the Holy Bible and try to be obedient to God's will in all that you do. There will be no more room in your heart for hate.
4 :
Counseling... or marijuana
5 :
Well calm down. I know that you have hate in your heart but you -have- to let it go and you-have- to forgive them. You need to ask God for the strength to move on with your life and to forget about your past. It's done and over with, there is nothing you can do. You have to forgive those who wrong you if you want to be forgiven by God. So take it for what it is and let it go. Ask God to help you love these people. Pray for them everyday that they learn how to treat people better. Life is hard for a lot of people out there now, not just you. So be grateful that you even have a family to turn to in a time of need, and you aren't homeless! Have faith that God will take care of you and He will. Read the New Testament with an open heart. Be accepting of Jesus Christ and let go of all your anger and hate. Talk with God in prayer and allow Him to heal you.
Read more other entries :
Thursday, June 7, 2012
I'm hurting [please help!!!]?
I'm hurting [please help!!!]?
Alright, here's the deal: I've been in this on-and-off again relationship for the past year and a half with this chick. Can honestly say I love her to death. I've overlooked the lies, deceit, and so forth on a few occasions and still stuck by her side to make it work. She has a daughter, who is now 3, that looks up to me and calls me daddy (even though I'm not the biological father) ... We've lived together, I'd get kicked out, invited back, I'd leave, come back. It was basically dysfunctional. (But I kept finding my way back to her in the name of "LOVE"). & even at times of our split, I still played the background and served as a safety net- and still took care of this little girl/her daughter, with no questions asked...) So, 3 weeks ago, I end my lease early to move into a spot with her.. Last week? We get into an argument, and for once, I'm the one to blame-- and I swear the argument wasn't that major.. So --- of course she still has my belongings, so we set up a date for me to get my stuff.. As I'm getting my stuff, I guess she called her cousin from W. Virginia to come/spend the night. Her cousin brought her bf and I guess a guy for my ex-girl.... They end up going to W. Virginia, and apparently these 2 (my ex and this new guy) formed a "48 hour" love thing- unbeknown to me. So, while I'm contacting my gf trying to make it work- they come back from W. Virginia and he's in her house- spending the night .. I ask if I can come over, if we can talk, have dinner and discuss our relationship. She tells me, no, her cousin is over, and not to come by because she's going back to W. Virginia later ... she just needs time by herself to think things through... Turns out, she lied to me.. Her "cousin" wasn't there at all, it was actually this new guy her cousin hooked her up with. So, last night, when I found out I couldn't sleep, it hurts me, how she could throw our family away over some new guy she just met.. She sends me a message basically saying she misses me, and we'll talk about our relationship when she gets back... Then she goes on her facebook, and updates her status saying "She met a new guy and she's feeling him a lot".. & of course we have mutual friends, so this is how I found out.. Oh yeah, forgot to mention... She told me she's planning on moving to W. Virginia soon (We live in Maryland). I told her not to contact me ever again - even in regards to the little girl.. & it's strange because she left the little girl unattended with this man while she called me the other day from the store -- i asked where "my daughter" was, and she said with her counsin, in the house.. but they're about to leave out soon... --- All of this is too much to take in, and I'm hurting tremendously..
Singles & Dating - 1 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
WOW.!!! I must say we never know people as well as we think we do. She moved on very quickly after your fight and I have to tell ya buddy. This was only a indication that she would of done this sort of thing even if the fight never of happened. People do not stray that quick unless they were waiting for the opportunity for awhile. You finally saw the person she will always be. She did you a favor. You took care of her kid and became a step up to the plate dad and she threw all of that away for some guy and lack of common sense. yeah it hurts but now you get to move on, find a woman with no baggage or drama and look to start your own family. Eventually this woman's daughter will hate her once she is old enough to know any better but now you owe it to yourself to let it go and take this as a lesson learn. Do not take her back, all of those messages are crap and she's trying to hold onto you while trying out this new guy. If she come back then either he dumped her or she could not get anything form him. You deserve someone that will not use a fight as an excuse to run off and have sex with a stranger. I hope things work out for you.
Read more other entries :
Alright, here's the deal: I've been in this on-and-off again relationship for the past year and a half with this chick. Can honestly say I love her to death. I've overlooked the lies, deceit, and so forth on a few occasions and still stuck by her side to make it work. She has a daughter, who is now 3, that looks up to me and calls me daddy (even though I'm not the biological father) ... We've lived together, I'd get kicked out, invited back, I'd leave, come back. It was basically dysfunctional. (But I kept finding my way back to her in the name of "LOVE"). & even at times of our split, I still played the background and served as a safety net- and still took care of this little girl/her daughter, with no questions asked...) So, 3 weeks ago, I end my lease early to move into a spot with her.. Last week? We get into an argument, and for once, I'm the one to blame-- and I swear the argument wasn't that major.. So --- of course she still has my belongings, so we set up a date for me to get my stuff.. As I'm getting my stuff, I guess she called her cousin from W. Virginia to come/spend the night. Her cousin brought her bf and I guess a guy for my ex-girl.... They end up going to W. Virginia, and apparently these 2 (my ex and this new guy) formed a "48 hour" love thing- unbeknown to me. So, while I'm contacting my gf trying to make it work- they come back from W. Virginia and he's in her house- spending the night .. I ask if I can come over, if we can talk, have dinner and discuss our relationship. She tells me, no, her cousin is over, and not to come by because she's going back to W. Virginia later ... she just needs time by herself to think things through... Turns out, she lied to me.. Her "cousin" wasn't there at all, it was actually this new guy her cousin hooked her up with. So, last night, when I found out I couldn't sleep, it hurts me, how she could throw our family away over some new guy she just met.. She sends me a message basically saying she misses me, and we'll talk about our relationship when she gets back... Then she goes on her facebook, and updates her status saying "She met a new guy and she's feeling him a lot".. & of course we have mutual friends, so this is how I found out.. Oh yeah, forgot to mention... She told me she's planning on moving to W. Virginia soon (We live in Maryland). I told her not to contact me ever again - even in regards to the little girl.. & it's strange because she left the little girl unattended with this man while she called me the other day from the store -- i asked where "my daughter" was, and she said with her counsin, in the house.. but they're about to leave out soon... --- All of this is too much to take in, and I'm hurting tremendously..
Singles & Dating - 1 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
WOW.!!! I must say we never know people as well as we think we do. She moved on very quickly after your fight and I have to tell ya buddy. This was only a indication that she would of done this sort of thing even if the fight never of happened. People do not stray that quick unless they were waiting for the opportunity for awhile. You finally saw the person she will always be. She did you a favor. You took care of her kid and became a step up to the plate dad and she threw all of that away for some guy and lack of common sense. yeah it hurts but now you get to move on, find a woman with no baggage or drama and look to start your own family. Eventually this woman's daughter will hate her once she is old enough to know any better but now you owe it to yourself to let it go and take this as a lesson learn. Do not take her back, all of those messages are crap and she's trying to hold onto you while trying out this new guy. If she come back then either he dumped her or she could not get anything form him. You deserve someone that will not use a fight as an excuse to run off and have sex with a stranger. I hope things work out for you.
Read more other entries :
Friday, June 1, 2012
How do I discipline my 15 year old sister over the summer?
How do I discipline my 15 year old sister over the summer?
I myself am 24, and am contemplating having my 15 year old sister spend the summer with my family. She lives in Texas, and we are in Nebraska. She is a great student, she takes honors classes and play the clarinet in the marching band. Totally differnt at home though. Shes been quite unruly the past year and a half. Mainly boy troubles, and disrespecting/being rude my mom. It started with texting cleavage pictures to boys--which led to having her cell taken away, then instant messaging sexual messages on Facebook-- so she has lost her computer privleges at home, she carried on a relationship with a boy three years older than her in a program similar to JROTC, even after being told to stop. Most recently, my mom found out she and this boy had had sex. I wont go into all the details, but I have no problem answering questions about her situation. I want her to come to my house for the summer, not to escape her problems/punishment, but to let her see that she can still be 15. That even though she did let mom down, its not the end of the world. She can still be happy. I want her to go to church, and get involved with a youth group. I'd like her to have a summer job, and take on more responsibilities at home. I want her to learn to communicate, that even when you ahve made a mistake, you can talk about it. She could also play in one of the city's summer sports leagues. I'm stumped for discipline ideas though. She's 15, shes not perfect. I know she will disobey me. There will be a day she comes home late, or doesnt tell me shes going somewhere, or won't clean her room, etc. Just seems whatever discipline my mother uses does not get through. I want her to understand the things she has done are wrong, and that there will be a punishment for it. I just don;t know what. I do plan to discuss discipline/punishment with our mom, I just think we need new ideas! I'd like ot have her know what her punishments will be for certain behaviors... so that I am more enforcing rules and discipline from our mom, than trying to be her boss. I want to try to keep the sister role in this, not take over the mom role. Thanks!
Adolescent - 4 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
my moms Friend has a 20 yr, 16 yr, 10 yr, and a 4 yr and she took in her 14 yr niece on the count of the 14yr old's mom lost her home so they split up the kids anyways...the 14 yr old is the same way yet her aunt just wants to condemn her and not discipline her so if it were i ((in both your situations)) i would make her go to church sun morning and night sundays school and everything and youth group on Wednesday night because if shes around good christian kids shes gonna act better to try to fit in
2 :
Really you can't stop her. The more you try to stop her, the more cool stories she'll have to share to all the boys. She's reaching that age - and all you can do is remind her to continue with her regular routines and maybe share a few stories of your sexual life. A small warning about a few guys will go a long way. Other then that you must give her her space and trust her. She'll be peer pressures into sharing pictures and such; but that's how most girls that age are. You need to remind her of her woman power; and place your trust in her. Maybe continue reminding her you trust her so she will feel guilty in the acts. Sadly if you push to hard to get in the way; you'll make the situations worse.
3 :
Hey!! I'm in Nebraska!! Anyways! I think it's great you want to do this, being a big sister myself, I know what it's like to want to guide the little one. I say you take her out for her favorite food or ice cream and have a talk. Tell her that yeah, what she was doing was bad but you don't think she's a horrible person. Tell her that no matter what everyone is going to love her just the same. Also, give her a self esteem boost. The reason she's sending those pics is because she feels like the only way she will get a guy is by showing off. Same with sex. Take her to get her hair done and teach her how to be a lady. Tell her that playing hard to get is just as effective. I like the job idea. I got a job at 15 and I matured fast. It was great to be able to do what I wanted with my money. I'm sure she wants a car when she turns 16, so this is a great way to save up. Youth group and church are good too. This way she can make friends while she'd down there. As for punishment get her a tracfone. The prepaid phone will help with responsibility! When she gets her job she will be paying for it so I doubt she'll want to use it that much. And make sure you check the phone too. She did something bad and still deserves a punishment, so her privacy rights have been taken away. I would block facebook, myspace, skype, AIM, all of that kind of stuff on your computer. And make sure you are checking the history. Maybe put her in etiquette classes to teach her manners and how to respect her mom and herself. Remember, tell her you love her and that if she works hard at becoming a better person, life at home will become a lot easier. :)
4 :
Punishment isn't going to work anymore. She is fast becoming an adult .. she knows it. What you need to do it talk to her as an equal. She needs to realize that she should stop these things for herself not to avoid punishment. Here's an example ... When I was a teen there were many people offering me drugs. I thought (and still do) people that did drugs were stupid and wanted nothing to do with them. Had I wanted the drugs no amount of punishment would have stopped me from taking them. In your sister's case she has to avoid sex because she wants to. As for punishments... Cleaning her room? Try mocking her filth ... embarrassment is a very big motivator .. so if she doesn't clean it tell her you will post pictures of her room on facebook. When she is late or doesn't tell you where she went.... time to practice your acting skills. Make a big fuss when she comes home. "OMG! I thought you were dead or someone kidnapped you!" Crying as much as you can. Guilt .. also good motivation. Make her swear that she will never ever do that again. As for sex... hmmm... that one is going to be the hardest to manage. As I said no punishment will stop this. Playing devil's advocate you could approach the matter by telling her personal stories (make one up if you have to) about how you had problems because you had sex with someone.
Read more other entries :
I myself am 24, and am contemplating having my 15 year old sister spend the summer with my family. She lives in Texas, and we are in Nebraska. She is a great student, she takes honors classes and play the clarinet in the marching band. Totally differnt at home though. Shes been quite unruly the past year and a half. Mainly boy troubles, and disrespecting/being rude my mom. It started with texting cleavage pictures to boys--which led to having her cell taken away, then instant messaging sexual messages on Facebook-- so she has lost her computer privleges at home, she carried on a relationship with a boy three years older than her in a program similar to JROTC, even after being told to stop. Most recently, my mom found out she and this boy had had sex. I wont go into all the details, but I have no problem answering questions about her situation. I want her to come to my house for the summer, not to escape her problems/punishment, but to let her see that she can still be 15. That even though she did let mom down, its not the end of the world. She can still be happy. I want her to go to church, and get involved with a youth group. I'd like her to have a summer job, and take on more responsibilities at home. I want her to learn to communicate, that even when you ahve made a mistake, you can talk about it. She could also play in one of the city's summer sports leagues. I'm stumped for discipline ideas though. She's 15, shes not perfect. I know she will disobey me. There will be a day she comes home late, or doesnt tell me shes going somewhere, or won't clean her room, etc. Just seems whatever discipline my mother uses does not get through. I want her to understand the things she has done are wrong, and that there will be a punishment for it. I just don;t know what. I do plan to discuss discipline/punishment with our mom, I just think we need new ideas! I'd like ot have her know what her punishments will be for certain behaviors... so that I am more enforcing rules and discipline from our mom, than trying to be her boss. I want to try to keep the sister role in this, not take over the mom role. Thanks!
Adolescent - 4 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
my moms Friend has a 20 yr, 16 yr, 10 yr, and a 4 yr and she took in her 14 yr niece on the count of the 14yr old's mom lost her home so they split up the kids anyways...the 14 yr old is the same way yet her aunt just wants to condemn her and not discipline her so if it were i ((in both your situations)) i would make her go to church sun morning and night sundays school and everything and youth group on Wednesday night because if shes around good christian kids shes gonna act better to try to fit in
2 :
Really you can't stop her. The more you try to stop her, the more cool stories she'll have to share to all the boys. She's reaching that age - and all you can do is remind her to continue with her regular routines and maybe share a few stories of your sexual life. A small warning about a few guys will go a long way. Other then that you must give her her space and trust her. She'll be peer pressures into sharing pictures and such; but that's how most girls that age are. You need to remind her of her woman power; and place your trust in her. Maybe continue reminding her you trust her so she will feel guilty in the acts. Sadly if you push to hard to get in the way; you'll make the situations worse.
3 :
Hey!! I'm in Nebraska!! Anyways! I think it's great you want to do this, being a big sister myself, I know what it's like to want to guide the little one. I say you take her out for her favorite food or ice cream and have a talk. Tell her that yeah, what she was doing was bad but you don't think she's a horrible person. Tell her that no matter what everyone is going to love her just the same. Also, give her a self esteem boost. The reason she's sending those pics is because she feels like the only way she will get a guy is by showing off. Same with sex. Take her to get her hair done and teach her how to be a lady. Tell her that playing hard to get is just as effective. I like the job idea. I got a job at 15 and I matured fast. It was great to be able to do what I wanted with my money. I'm sure she wants a car when she turns 16, so this is a great way to save up. Youth group and church are good too. This way she can make friends while she'd down there. As for punishment get her a tracfone. The prepaid phone will help with responsibility! When she gets her job she will be paying for it so I doubt she'll want to use it that much. And make sure you check the phone too. She did something bad and still deserves a punishment, so her privacy rights have been taken away. I would block facebook, myspace, skype, AIM, all of that kind of stuff on your computer. And make sure you are checking the history. Maybe put her in etiquette classes to teach her manners and how to respect her mom and herself. Remember, tell her you love her and that if she works hard at becoming a better person, life at home will become a lot easier. :)
4 :
Punishment isn't going to work anymore. She is fast becoming an adult .. she knows it. What you need to do it talk to her as an equal. She needs to realize that she should stop these things for herself not to avoid punishment. Here's an example ... When I was a teen there were many people offering me drugs. I thought (and still do) people that did drugs were stupid and wanted nothing to do with them. Had I wanted the drugs no amount of punishment would have stopped me from taking them. In your sister's case she has to avoid sex because she wants to. As for punishments... Cleaning her room? Try mocking her filth ... embarrassment is a very big motivator .. so if she doesn't clean it tell her you will post pictures of her room on facebook. When she is late or doesn't tell you where she went.... time to practice your acting skills. Make a big fuss when she comes home. "OMG! I thought you were dead or someone kidnapped you!" Crying as much as you can. Guilt .. also good motivation. Make her swear that she will never ever do that again. As for sex... hmmm... that one is going to be the hardest to manage. As I said no punishment will stop this. Playing devil's advocate you could approach the matter by telling her personal stories (make one up if you have to) about how you had problems because you had sex with someone.
Read more other entries :
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