I'm hurting [please help!!!]?
Alright, here's the deal: I've been in this on-and-off again relationship for the past year and a half with this chick. Can honestly say I love her to death. I've overlooked the lies, deceit, and so forth on a few occasions and still stuck by her side to make it work. She has a daughter, who is now 3, that looks up to me and calls me daddy (even though I'm not the biological father) ... We've lived together, I'd get kicked out, invited back, I'd leave, come back. It was basically dysfunctional. (But I kept finding my way back to her in the name of "LOVE"). & even at times of our split, I still played the background and served as a safety net- and still took care of this little girl/her daughter, with no questions asked...) I eventually got my own place, and was doing fine. About 2 months ago we started "talking again".. & 3 weeks ago, I ended my lease early to move into a spot with her.. Last week? We get into an argument, and for once, I'm the one to blame-- and I swear the argument wasn't that major.. - either way, she ended up kicking me out.. So --- of course she still has my belongings, so we set up a date for me to get my stuff.. As I'm getting my stuff, I guess she called her cousin from W. Virginia to come/spend the night. Her cousin brought her bf and I guess a guy for my ex-girl.... They end up going to W. Virginia, and apparently these 2 (my ex and this new guy) formed a "48 hour" love thing- unbeknown to me. So, while I'm contacting my gf trying to make it work- they come back from W. Virginia and he's in her house- spending the night .. I ask if I can come over, if we can talk, have dinner and discuss our relationship. She tells me, no, her cousin is over, and not to come by because she's going back to W. Virginia later ... she just needs time by herself to think things through... Turns out, she lied to me.. Her "cousin" wasn't there at all, it was actually this new guy her cousin hooked her up with. So, last night, when I found out I couldn't sleep, it hurts me, how she could throw our family away over some new guy she just met.. She sends me a message basically saying she misses me, and we'll talk about our relationship when she gets back... Then she goes on her facebook, and updates her status saying "She met a new guy and she's feeling him a lot".. & of course we have mutual friends, so this is how I found out.. Oh yeah, forgot to mention... She told me she's planning on moving to W. Virginia soon (We live in Maryland). I told her not to contact me ever again - even in regards to the little girl.. & it's strange because she left the little girl unattended with this man while she called me the other day from the store -- i asked where "my daughter" was, and she said with her counsin, in the house.. but they're about to leave out soon... While really, she left him with this man she just met--- All of this is too much to take in, and I'm hurting tremendously..
Singles & Dating - 4 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
well i dont know really what to tell you its your choice of what you do but she doesnt know what she wants and is basically playing around with your heart you honestly need to move on and find someone new dont keep going back to someone who is just going to break your heart
2 :
i think from what you tell me it,s never going to work shes on again off again and doesnt know what she wants. it,s time to bite the bullet, get out of that relationship while your still sane
3 :
That's really sad. I feel awful for the situation the little girl is put in, that's no way to live or influence a child at all. It's a shame you're not the biological father... so you could try to get custody or something. You sound like a nice guy. I think you should just leave her be for a bit. Let her go. However, the little girl does concern me. You NEED to talk to her to see what's going to happen with her. You've bonded with her and she's calling you daddy. Something needs to work out about that. I know it hurts, but there are so many women in this world... you'll find the right one eventually. One who won't kick you out. It sounds like she kicks you out after every argument. That's crazy.
4 :
If I was you I would just leave her alone. She sounds like trouble. As for hurting, you're human and you're gonna hurt. It'll take time for you to heal. These things have to run there course. Surround yourself with good, supportive friends. Just get out there and go on with your life. One day you'll look back on this as one of life's hard lessons.
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