Why cant I just let it go?
Well my husband and I have been together since High School. We are 30 years old and benn out of high school for 12years now! Any way when we were dating in our senor year my husband had a crush on this female. Well all these years he denied anything happened between them but in January he admitted that he had feelings for her when we were in high school. Well we started face booking and I noticed that she was one of his friends on facebook. At first it didn't bother me.............I was going through my husband phone one day and noticed a strange text. It wasn't nothing sexual just casual conversation but I just couldn't put my finger on who this person was. I knew it was a female and it made me very upset! Why? Because I felt he was being sneaky about it! I suspect that it was this other female from high school and we discussed it and he WOULD NOT tell me who it was! Well just yesterday I noticed he text ed this female Happy Birthday and put 2 and 2 together and realized it was her. Well I WAS JEALOUS about the whole thing because for one she is single! I asked him why he felt the need to text her for every holiday and her birthday and he stated because they are cool friends and nothing more than that! I pissed off that he even has her phone number!! I cant sleep because I just cant let it go..............I cant help to think how often they text each other and what is it that they need to talk about. She lives in Virginia and we live in Florida. They are not sleeping around but what is considering cheating? Im am very heart broken about this and he says I become annoying when I bring her up because its nothing. I feel he shouldn't be communicating with her. What are your thoughts should I maker her my facebook friend?
Marriage & Divorce - 9 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
annoying? he chats with another woman and says you are annoying? unbelievable! get your phone and find someone to text and see how he likes it. he wont but maybe he will get it then. sometimes you have to do the same to make them understand.
2 :
Well I'm not sure if he's cheating, but he's hiding things and that is always a bad sign.
3 :
He needs to stop talking to her because he at one time had feelings for this person and maybe even did something with this person in the past that you dont know about. I am recently married and I respect my husband enough to have to contact with anyone i have had feeing for dated slept with nothing..if i run into them and they say hi i say a simple hi back and leave it at that. My husband and I attend the same church as my ex best friend/boyfriend. And i respect my ex at church but I dont go out of my way to text him or have contact with him for respect for my husband. And my husband has no contact with anyone from his past. When your actually MARRIED no wife or husband should have any contact with someone they have or had lust towards..its sinful in the eyes of the LORD! He needs to drop the girl and her number or go be with her.
4 :
I feel the same as you! What is the need to talk to her? If he see your hurt by it and is bringing it up then he needs to stop it. If it is not important it shouldn't be a problem to stop it. Did she say tell your wife hello? did she call to speak with you to make all three of you friends? why so many secrets? I wouldn't care if she lived in Virginia! That means nothing these days. I don't like the sounds of this!!!!!
5 :
Couldn't agree with you more. The fact that you found out that he was communicating with her on your own without him telling you shows that he never had any intention of you finding out. He wanted to keep it secret because he didn't want to have to explain to you. If he didn't want to explain it there's a reason. Clearly he still has a thing for her and to say it's annoying when you bring it up just adds insult to injury. If I were you I'd text or call her myself and find out why she thinks she needs to be in contact with your husband and then I'd have some choice words for her too. Put your foot down with your husband, throw a fit, whatever you need to do and tell him that this relationship he's having with her needs to end now. Tell him it's either you or her, end of story. I'm sorry but this is retarded. Your husband is taken, he has no right to be flirting and carrying on an emotional affair with this woman from high school. Stop allowing this. You have more power in this situation than you think - start exercising that power.
6 :
He's disrespecting you and your marriage. There's no reason for him to be chatting up and taking an emotional interest in an old high school crush. And there's absolutely no reason that he should be hiding things from you. You have the right to be upset about his behavior and demand accountability for his actions.
7 :
Well you should talk to him about this. After all of this, if it still keeps going on, then ask him why he feels it necessary to talk to her behind your back. However, I will also say you sound very jealous and controlling, and so the reason why you can't let it go is because the thought of him texting an old high school sweetheart is far to disturbing to you than it is to him, being cordial to someone he once cared about. Frankly does he listen in on your conversations with your friends? Probably not. So he hardly knows about who you talk to and why. He figures he can trust you, therefore you can trust him. However, its apparent you don't trust him. That's why you can't trust him.
8 :
If it really is nothing then your husband should have no problem discontinuing contact with her. He needs to choose between what is more important. His wife or his "friend." It doesn't matter if anything is going on. The fact is you are bothered by her. He needs to value your feelings enough to stop any communication via FB, texting or phone calls.
9 :
No, you need to get the phone bill and see just how often he does talk to her. If he had to sneak to do it it is cheating. Have him call or text her and be very clear that there will be no more contact. Don't add her to fb, delete her from his. Good luck!
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