Does she "love/wanna marry" me or not? marry and love are same things in Indian culture.?
Please take some time to read the whole case. Your unbiased opinion will keep my mind at peace. I met this girl cos she lives in the same graduate residence as I am. We both are doing our masters in different lines, but are in the same university. 1st encounter was when she was surprised to find that i speak the same mother tongue as she does. later she used to start talking with me when ever she saw me..i can say in a little bit flirtly way. I am a medical student, so study keeps me busy...but later i started thinking why not.....she is a good girl!! she later once asked for my mobile number and requested to me to save hers on my mobile too. I started loving her company and thought i sud ask her if she loves me..with the intention of marriage...cos this thing was churning my mind night and day. She never came with me for jogging in d morning, eventhough i caled her innumberable times, but when her cousin (male)was there she called me if i wanted to go on a walk...we walked on the seaside (alas! 3 of us) for atleast 3 hours.. When i popped her thr question she told she never thought that i would ask her for marriage cos she thought i never liked her.... I then told her that since she gets confused.....plz ask about advice to a person who really cares for her life.....which are her parents. She never told YES or NO. I was getting impatient, so after a week i told that she must tell me. She told its a NO. I will marry only the person that my dad, mom and bro selects for me. And i am confident that nothng can happen between us. And i dont wanna talk about this matter. If u wanna be friends then we can, else do wat u like. She even asked her roommate and few other friends of hers regarding me and told them that i proposed her. After a day I accepted her friend request and asked her to be just a friend and nothng more. NOW....since am back to my home country for 5 months...she chats regularly with me....more than my other friends....and her chating is quite flirty. She tell she doesnt have to worry about herself cos I am always ther to carry her, take care of her. I asked her frankly why she was again behaving differently for which she told that she din knew b4 that i was so intelligent/smart, so she will see the matter again. She told me upon asking her that after i asked her for marriage....she asked her dad for which her dad asked two questions : 1. How long do u know this man? and do u know im fully.......for which she told 1 month and she doesnt know me totally.....then her dad asked...2. Do you love him really? she was speechless and told her dad that forget this matter.. Now i cant understand, i see her waiting for me on yahoo messenger, cos after we chat , she goes offline....if i dont send her any messg for few days....she will send some casual messge asking wats going on... I asked her again if she has any love fo me......again she says NO. And she told that, plz dont ask me repeatedly.....I will tell you myself. Cos I cant take disicions as fast as you do....i take lot of time....cos she had made many mistakes in knowing a person in the past...and she also tells that may be....she wont be able to take care of everyone in my family... She shows all her shopping stuff to me on webcam, talks about everythng that bothers her when she is depressed or tired, asks me how she shud answer in interviews. I have noticed that she remembers everythng i say, but never really replies to any of my offline messages.She is a constant name in my recent visitors list on orkut and facebook. Has seen each and every pic that i upload. I many times tell her that her this approach was wrong...and she sud have done it this way.....for her personal matters....which she listens and does as i say...because she talks to me her problems (just a few though) After i proposed her, we even discussed about how we can start and manage our lives financially without the support of our parents. One fact is, there are a lot of boys after her and trying to be in contact with her. When i met her once after proposing, she told me that i was the 32nd boy to propose her. Can you all please give me your opinion as to wat exactly she is thinking. Is she thinking of me for marriage but will see everythng about me b4 doing that.....OR has she just formed a habit of chatting with me?
Singles & Dating - 1 Answers
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1 :
im sorry to say that I think she's leading you on.. forget about her! You deserve someone who will love you
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Thursday, March 14, 2013
Thursday, March 7, 2013
I'm so confused about this girl? (long post, detailed story)?
I'm so confused about this girl? (long post, detailed story)?
Ok so I know this girl on Facebook (she lives near me) who broke up with her boyfriend about a month ago. Now while she was still seeing her boyfriend, I expressed some of my interest to her. Like I told her I think she's a cool person inside and out and that she's pretty. So then after I made my interest clear, I backed off some because she was taken at the time. But while her and I talked, we discussed a variety of topics such as: religion, movies, music, and how people can be judgmental of others. So then about maybe two weeks later, she broke up with her boyfriend. So after I found that out, I gave her a little space.About three-four days later, I sent her a private message saying "What's new?" and she didn't reply to me. So then a couple days after that, I sent her another message saying "Hows it going?" and she didn't reply to that either. But later that week on September 25th, she messaged me on Facebook IM on her own will. We talked for about and hour and 45 minutes that night. During that conversation, we talked more about our plans for the future like college and all. Then we got into to talking about movies again. I asked her if she saw any new movies and she told me she saw "The Town." So that got me into bringing up "The Social Network" which is a new movie and it comes out today. She said she wants to see The Social Network really bad. I asked her if she wanted to see it and she asked me when it being released and I told her October 1st. She just said, "Oh okay." So once she said that, I assumed that she didn't want to go just yet because it was too soon after her break up. She didn't give me her cell phone number or anything to get in touch with me. So it's been like 5-6 days since she's said a word to me on Facebook. I still send her basic messages occasionally saying "Hows it going?: and she still doesn't' answer me. I keep thinking if I wait for her, she will come to me again like she did last time and maybe tell me she wants to go the movie. But I've hardly seen her on Facebook IM since that night. I've been noticing more guys have been posting comments on her Facebook page too. This makes me nervous because the girl is really pretty. I just hope that she expected to go the movie tonight because it wasn't like she sounded enthused about going. She hasn't messaged me back since we talked about the movie either. I feel like she's turning me into a half a stalker too because I'm always tempted to check her page and see which guys are talking to her and to see if they're single or not. A lot of single guys have been talking to her more. I had told her the release date of the movie because she asked me when it was coming out. In our September 25th conversation, she was saying how she would have to check out the things I like. Like if I told her about a TV show I watch, she said "I gotta check that out sometime." She seemed interested or at least pretended to be interested in the things I was talking about and used a lot of smiley faces. So yesterday afternoon I just sent her a message on Facebook asking her if she wanted to see The Social Network next weekend. I gave her until next weekend on purpose so she would have more to time to think about it. I just sent her the message about the movie because I'm hearing all kinds of advice. I've heard that I should just be a friend to her. I've heard that I should just ask her out already. I'm hearing both sides. I would message her more on Facebook IM but she hasn't been on it the last few. I'm thinking she will come onto Facebook IM early this morning like she did last Saturday (9/25). But I looked in her Mobile Uploads folder and she uploaded a picture of her ex boyfriend laying on the couch with one of his male relatives and she posted "hahahaha" as a comment. Is that bad? Nina: Thank you.
Singles & Dating - 3 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
She doesn't like you the way that you like her. Stop obsessing over her, she is not obsessing over you. Besides, she just broke up with her boyfriend, therefore she is probably only using you to get an ego boost and she also could use a little male attention considering her situation with her ex bf. Move on to someone who is CRAZY about you, where you don't need to sit and 'wonder' if she likes you, you'll just know!
2 :
i agree with Drummer
3 :
Ok well that is one story you have. But she just needs time trust me I was with my bf for 8 months and when we left it took me a long time to go out with someone else again. Just time. And try sending her messages saying you miss her and you hope she is ok cause you are worried about her. And let her know you are here for her if she needs anything. And dont freak cause she will most likely want you. She just needs time. k? her heart is broken and just needs time to heal. So instead of worrying try making her feel good about her and the kinda person she is by telling her good things about her. I am here if you need anything else friend:) Good Luck and if you want let me know how it goes:)!
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Ok so I know this girl on Facebook (she lives near me) who broke up with her boyfriend about a month ago. Now while she was still seeing her boyfriend, I expressed some of my interest to her. Like I told her I think she's a cool person inside and out and that she's pretty. So then after I made my interest clear, I backed off some because she was taken at the time. But while her and I talked, we discussed a variety of topics such as: religion, movies, music, and how people can be judgmental of others. So then about maybe two weeks later, she broke up with her boyfriend. So after I found that out, I gave her a little space.About three-four days later, I sent her a private message saying "What's new?" and she didn't reply to me. So then a couple days after that, I sent her another message saying "Hows it going?" and she didn't reply to that either. But later that week on September 25th, she messaged me on Facebook IM on her own will. We talked for about and hour and 45 minutes that night. During that conversation, we talked more about our plans for the future like college and all. Then we got into to talking about movies again. I asked her if she saw any new movies and she told me she saw "The Town." So that got me into bringing up "The Social Network" which is a new movie and it comes out today. She said she wants to see The Social Network really bad. I asked her if she wanted to see it and she asked me when it being released and I told her October 1st. She just said, "Oh okay." So once she said that, I assumed that she didn't want to go just yet because it was too soon after her break up. She didn't give me her cell phone number or anything to get in touch with me. So it's been like 5-6 days since she's said a word to me on Facebook. I still send her basic messages occasionally saying "Hows it going?: and she still doesn't' answer me. I keep thinking if I wait for her, she will come to me again like she did last time and maybe tell me she wants to go the movie. But I've hardly seen her on Facebook IM since that night. I've been noticing more guys have been posting comments on her Facebook page too. This makes me nervous because the girl is really pretty. I just hope that she expected to go the movie tonight because it wasn't like she sounded enthused about going. She hasn't messaged me back since we talked about the movie either. I feel like she's turning me into a half a stalker too because I'm always tempted to check her page and see which guys are talking to her and to see if they're single or not. A lot of single guys have been talking to her more. I had told her the release date of the movie because she asked me when it was coming out. In our September 25th conversation, she was saying how she would have to check out the things I like. Like if I told her about a TV show I watch, she said "I gotta check that out sometime." She seemed interested or at least pretended to be interested in the things I was talking about and used a lot of smiley faces. So yesterday afternoon I just sent her a message on Facebook asking her if she wanted to see The Social Network next weekend. I gave her until next weekend on purpose so she would have more to time to think about it. I just sent her the message about the movie because I'm hearing all kinds of advice. I've heard that I should just be a friend to her. I've heard that I should just ask her out already. I'm hearing both sides. I would message her more on Facebook IM but she hasn't been on it the last few. I'm thinking she will come onto Facebook IM early this morning like she did last Saturday (9/25). But I looked in her Mobile Uploads folder and she uploaded a picture of her ex boyfriend laying on the couch with one of his male relatives and she posted "hahahaha" as a comment. Is that bad? Nina: Thank you.
Singles & Dating - 3 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
She doesn't like you the way that you like her. Stop obsessing over her, she is not obsessing over you. Besides, she just broke up with her boyfriend, therefore she is probably only using you to get an ego boost and she also could use a little male attention considering her situation with her ex bf. Move on to someone who is CRAZY about you, where you don't need to sit and 'wonder' if she likes you, you'll just know!
2 :
i agree with Drummer
3 :
Ok well that is one story you have. But she just needs time trust me I was with my bf for 8 months and when we left it took me a long time to go out with someone else again. Just time. And try sending her messages saying you miss her and you hope she is ok cause you are worried about her. And let her know you are here for her if she needs anything. And dont freak cause she will most likely want you. She just needs time. k? her heart is broken and just needs time to heal. So instead of worrying try making her feel good about her and the kinda person she is by telling her good things about her. I am here if you need anything else friend:) Good Luck and if you want let me know how it goes:)!
Read more other entries :
Friday, March 1, 2013
My Girl friend left me. I am passing very hard time.:(?
My Girl friend left me. I am passing very hard time.:(?
I met a girl last December,2009. few days later i sent her friend request in facebook.We used to chat and make fun. I came to knew she had been going out with a boy last 2 year! One day she sent me a message that she is very upset, coz her bf cheat with her.that boy flirted with another girls beside their relation!She knew her all password of her bf. but her bf changed all password. One day she could get in to his fb account by using his old pass!! she saw her bf was flirting with another girl! few days later his bf dumped her.She was really upset. I gave her call by my cell .I could hear she is crying! the time was jan 2010. everyday i used to call her and try to console her.she did cut her hand two times. I met her and gave her some band aid.I tried to make her happy all time as a friend. when she smiled, i was so happy that time.One day her bf came to knew that she had a new friend and supported her a lot.Some times he got her cell busy. This guy couldn't take it easily.He took my number from her forcefully and callled me.He thread that if i call her again he will kill me.He blamed me for their break up.I tried to understand him gently.this guy was too rough.he used very bad slang during talking with me. I could understand he is very cheap guy. he couldn't respect any human being. When this guy cmae to know abt me, he tried to get back to her.This girl never wanted to give him chance. he used to disturb her by mobile, land phone.One day she informed me that they had physical relation with him..Anyway, after that they hooked up 4 times,but it wasn't working. she was frustrated.She shared all thing with me.we used to talk regularly by cell.we stared to feel for each other.we got committed on May,2010.I stared to love her.i couldn't tolerate her sad face.whatever she needs,.i tried to give her.I went to India for travel on July,2010. I uesd to call her much than my parents.We've been very happy together, we've been discussing about out future and we're ready to go through life together side by side. She had Canadian passport.one day she told me she has to go for higher degree.I made plan i will come their.She wen to canada on september,2010. But it didnt effect on relation. we trying to contact everyday.One day she gave me a mail that she couldn't forget her ex bf. her one part still fell for him.I got hurt .She said sorry, she was trying to say me that she wants to be honest with me.She never get back to guy. she wanted to spend her whole life with me. I discovered some changes of her from jan 2011. One day i came to knew she gave her cell number to her ex bf.Some times we used to chat in skype. one day i found her online e, knocked her, she told me she is busy with her friends. but we had a important conversation.but she didnt care that. i checked out her account and find that she catted with her ex. I told her, she told me she couldn't forget him, when her ex knocked her, she couldnt control . she felt sorry for me. she wanted some times and told me it will be ok.i trust her a lot.i am starting prepare my papers to go Canada. But i could understand she always give priority and importance to ex bf than me. 3 days ago she told me she cant continuing our relation. coz she fells her ex bf,, and they contact regularly.She said sorry, request me to forgive her. I was crying that time. coz i love her a lot. i did a lot of things for her.Her ex bf very bad guy.he used to torture her.I am passing very hard time. i want her.:(
Singles & Dating - 1 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Unfortuantly there goe's a saying you want what you can't have Applies to people, items, and various wants.
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I met a girl last December,2009. few days later i sent her friend request in facebook.We used to chat and make fun. I came to knew she had been going out with a boy last 2 year! One day she sent me a message that she is very upset, coz her bf cheat with her.that boy flirted with another girls beside their relation!She knew her all password of her bf. but her bf changed all password. One day she could get in to his fb account by using his old pass!! she saw her bf was flirting with another girl! few days later his bf dumped her.She was really upset. I gave her call by my cell .I could hear she is crying! the time was jan 2010. everyday i used to call her and try to console her.she did cut her hand two times. I met her and gave her some band aid.I tried to make her happy all time as a friend. when she smiled, i was so happy that time.One day her bf came to knew that she had a new friend and supported her a lot.Some times he got her cell busy. This guy couldn't take it easily.He took my number from her forcefully and callled me.He thread that if i call her again he will kill me.He blamed me for their break up.I tried to understand him gently.this guy was too rough.he used very bad slang during talking with me. I could understand he is very cheap guy. he couldn't respect any human being. When this guy cmae to know abt me, he tried to get back to her.This girl never wanted to give him chance. he used to disturb her by mobile, land phone.One day she informed me that they had physical relation with him..Anyway, after that they hooked up 4 times,but it wasn't working. she was frustrated.She shared all thing with me.we used to talk regularly by cell.we stared to feel for each other.we got committed on May,2010.I stared to love her.i couldn't tolerate her sad face.whatever she needs,.i tried to give her.I went to India for travel on July,2010. I uesd to call her much than my parents.We've been very happy together, we've been discussing about out future and we're ready to go through life together side by side. She had Canadian passport.one day she told me she has to go for higher degree.I made plan i will come their.She wen to canada on september,2010. But it didnt effect on relation. we trying to contact everyday.One day she gave me a mail that she couldn't forget her ex bf. her one part still fell for him.I got hurt .She said sorry, she was trying to say me that she wants to be honest with me.She never get back to guy. she wanted to spend her whole life with me. I discovered some changes of her from jan 2011. One day i came to knew she gave her cell number to her ex bf.Some times we used to chat in skype. one day i found her online e, knocked her, she told me she is busy with her friends. but we had a important conversation.but she didnt care that. i checked out her account and find that she catted with her ex. I told her, she told me she couldn't forget him, when her ex knocked her, she couldnt control . she felt sorry for me. she wanted some times and told me it will be ok.i trust her a lot.i am starting prepare my papers to go Canada. But i could understand she always give priority and importance to ex bf than me. 3 days ago she told me she cant continuing our relation. coz she fells her ex bf,, and they contact regularly.She said sorry, request me to forgive her. I was crying that time. coz i love her a lot. i did a lot of things for her.Her ex bf very bad guy.he used to torture her.I am passing very hard time. i want her.:(
Singles & Dating - 1 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Unfortuantly there goe's a saying you want what you can't have Applies to people, items, and various wants.
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Thursday, February 28, 2013
My brother is an asshole, What should I do?
My brother is an asshole, What should I do?
My brother is 28 years old and still lives at home. We live in a family of 6 and we all get along accept my brother. In our family is consists of of myself 18, sister 20, sister 22, mum 60, dad 60 and my brother 28. He is a single guy that drinks constantly, goes though relationships faster then laxatives and he treats no one with respect (even my parents). He thinks his the king of the house hold. But the main issue is this. Despite the fact he always insults me and disrespects me when I do nothing personal to him. Sorry I am babbling. Anyway this is the main problem. We have a family internet which is wireless and it is shared amongst the family with 20GB a month. My mum and dad never use it because they watch TV and they have unlimited internet at there offices so internet is not a problem with them. My older sister she has her own mobile internet, the one with plug in the router and use it anywhere thing, and my younger sister (which is still older) barely uses the internet because she is always out but I make sure that if we come close to the end of the month plan that I leave her 2gb (she mostly checks Facebook and eBay thats it). Me and my brother mostly use the net and thats OK but this is the problem. Because the phone line is in his room (spare line) we plug the internet modem into his room. Saying that he thinks he has total control over it and even though it's FAMILY internet, she treats it like his personal internet and never lets me or anyone else use it, unless he is on. It has got to the point where if I want to use the internet to relax, I have to search his room, plug it in and get off a bit early so he wont know that I was on it. But today he was a total asshole. He came home and because I was having fun talking to my mates on Facebook and playing a bit of Modern Warfare 2, he pulled out the internet and screamed out my name. I said in a annoyed but civil way "what is it" and he said "if you search my room again, I am going to kick the shit out of you and slit your throat. Do you understand me?", I said "It's the family internet and you have no right to decide when I use it, I have every right to use it as you do." He then proceed to come upstairs pushing me and getting in my face calling me names that were very offensive, well I wont discuss them because this message will get banned from yahoo answers but yeah he was really bad. I am in the Army so I have learnt to control my emotions and bashing the crap out of him would be pointless because nothing will get done about the problem. I was firm with him and I pretty much told him not to shove me and to back off and get our of my face, he continued to act childish and a wanker. Even though he hates me and I dislike him. Hes still my brother. I would of thought by now that by his age hew would be moved out and if not married at lease is a serious relationship. What do I do, he saids he might move out next year but I cant wait that long. I have CGo team on mw2 and I want to make it big, but I cant when he is in control of the internet. We just started the internet plan 2 weeks ago and in that 2 weeks I have only played 3 hours, while he is using it even every he wants. It's NOT fair! What should I do?
Family - 3 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Kick his ass. Works everytime.
2 :
call him out and tell him how you feel. Tell him he needs to step up and be a role model.
3 :
Ask the rest of your family to confront him with you this way everyone is happy well maybe not your brother or ask your parents is there any way to move it to the hall or living room
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My brother is 28 years old and still lives at home. We live in a family of 6 and we all get along accept my brother. In our family is consists of of myself 18, sister 20, sister 22, mum 60, dad 60 and my brother 28. He is a single guy that drinks constantly, goes though relationships faster then laxatives and he treats no one with respect (even my parents). He thinks his the king of the house hold. But the main issue is this. Despite the fact he always insults me and disrespects me when I do nothing personal to him. Sorry I am babbling. Anyway this is the main problem. We have a family internet which is wireless and it is shared amongst the family with 20GB a month. My mum and dad never use it because they watch TV and they have unlimited internet at there offices so internet is not a problem with them. My older sister she has her own mobile internet, the one with plug in the router and use it anywhere thing, and my younger sister (which is still older) barely uses the internet because she is always out but I make sure that if we come close to the end of the month plan that I leave her 2gb (she mostly checks Facebook and eBay thats it). Me and my brother mostly use the net and thats OK but this is the problem. Because the phone line is in his room (spare line) we plug the internet modem into his room. Saying that he thinks he has total control over it and even though it's FAMILY internet, she treats it like his personal internet and never lets me or anyone else use it, unless he is on. It has got to the point where if I want to use the internet to relax, I have to search his room, plug it in and get off a bit early so he wont know that I was on it. But today he was a total asshole. He came home and because I was having fun talking to my mates on Facebook and playing a bit of Modern Warfare 2, he pulled out the internet and screamed out my name. I said in a annoyed but civil way "what is it" and he said "if you search my room again, I am going to kick the shit out of you and slit your throat. Do you understand me?", I said "It's the family internet and you have no right to decide when I use it, I have every right to use it as you do." He then proceed to come upstairs pushing me and getting in my face calling me names that were very offensive, well I wont discuss them because this message will get banned from yahoo answers but yeah he was really bad. I am in the Army so I have learnt to control my emotions and bashing the crap out of him would be pointless because nothing will get done about the problem. I was firm with him and I pretty much told him not to shove me and to back off and get our of my face, he continued to act childish and a wanker. Even though he hates me and I dislike him. Hes still my brother. I would of thought by now that by his age hew would be moved out and if not married at lease is a serious relationship. What do I do, he saids he might move out next year but I cant wait that long. I have CGo team on mw2 and I want to make it big, but I cant when he is in control of the internet. We just started the internet plan 2 weeks ago and in that 2 weeks I have only played 3 hours, while he is using it even every he wants. It's NOT fair! What should I do?
Family - 3 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Kick his ass. Works everytime.
2 :
call him out and tell him how you feel. Tell him he needs to step up and be a role model.
3 :
Ask the rest of your family to confront him with you this way everyone is happy well maybe not your brother or ask your parents is there any way to move it to the hall or living room
Read more other entries :
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Is the internet killing religion and churches?
Is the internet killing religion and churches?
Facebook and modern technology are killing churches By Brett Michael Dykes brett Michael Dykes – Tue Feb 15, 1:37 pm ET Despite a recent uptick, church attendance numbers have been declining steadily in both the United States and Europe. Explanations for the trend range from the child sexual abuse scandals in the Catholic church to the antimodern cultural outlooks of fundamentalist and conservative evangelical denominations. But Richard Beck, a professor and experimental psychologist at Abilene Christian University, has advanced a novel theory: He argues that the internet, and specifically the social-networking site Facebook, has eroded the sense of community that people have typically obtained via church membership. In an essay posted on his blog titled, "How Facebook Killed the Church," Beck writes that the notion of a more porous, just-in-time digital community has taken strongest root among the so-called Generation Y folk--people born in the 80s and 90s who are also referred to as "Millennials"--who obsessively use social media on mobile devices. Beck originally published the essay last year, to little public notice. In recent days, however, social media observers revived it, passing it around on sites like Twitter, Tumblr, and, somewhat ironically, Facebook. He writes: So why has mobile social computing affected church attendance? Well, if church has always been kind of lame and irritating why did people go in the first place? Easy, social relationships. Church has always been about social affiliation. You met your friends, discussed your week, talked football, shared information about good schools, talked local politics, got the scoop, and made social plans ("Let's get together for dinner this week!"). Even if you hated church you could feel lonely without it. Particularly with the loss of "third places" in America. But Millennials are in a different social situation. They don't need physical locations for social affiliation. They can make dinner plans via text, cell phone call or Facebook. In short, the thing that kept young people going to church, despite their irritations, has been effectively replaced. You don't need to go to church to stay connected or in touch. You have an iPhone. Sure, Millennials will report that the "reason" they are leaving the church is due to its perceived hypocrisy or shallowness. My argument is that while this might be the proximate cause the more distal cause is social computing. Already connected Millennials have the luxury to kick the church to the curb. This is the position of strength that other generations did not have. We fussed about the church but, at the end of the day, you went to stay connected. For us, church was Facebook! While it is hard to dispute the general reasoning in Beck's argument, it's not only millennials who are maintaining relationships and building communities online. In fact, a new website logs the sinister reach of the elder set in social media bearing the eloquent name "Oh Crap. My parents joined Facebook." And in full recognition that we are in the midst of a bona fide trend here, "Saturday Night Live" produced a parody commercial for a new product called "Damn It, My Mom is on Facebook!" Meanwhile, Beck's own blog, titled "Experimental Theology," hosts a wide range of comments on the relationship between devotion and social media. One provocative comment suggested that the core concept of divine punishment--a key motivation behind many past generations of church observance--just doesn't resonate with a generation of media users conditioned to customized online experiences. "Gen Y'ers don't have the same type of fear of God as earlier generations... and therein lies the problem for the church. The church has not succeeded in roping the Gen Y'ers in with obligation and guilt and fear to their thing," commenter "Heather G" wrote. "Gen Y'ers feel un-obligated to anything that doesn't fit their goals, their dreams for the world, etc. If church isn't contextually purposeful to them, they have no compulsion to show up....whereas earlier generations would keep going to churches even if they felt no connection to the church whatsoever, simply because they feared a God who they had been taught REQUIRED that they go to church - they felt they 'HAD TO.'
Religion & Spirituality - 11 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
No, church and religion are doing a good enough job by itself.
2 :
tl;dr No, it's not killing the churches.
3 :
Haha religion is dying. That bothers you.
4 :
Well, even without the Internet, bible fundamentalists are killing all religions and churches.
5 :
No, I don't think so. There's a lot of religious rambling happening on facebook.
6 :
I'm not going to read some long thing copied and pasted from a BLOG which is 100% opinion. If the internet is "killing religion and churches" then don't use the internet or just keep using it. I want to see religion and churches go up in flames again!
7 :
I don't see a question, I just see an essay you probably wrote for school.
8 :
Do you have permission to post this article? But to answer your question, if by killing churches you mean giving spreading knowledge, then God I hope so!
9 :
Way way off. The internet and the free flow of information makes it easier to unmask the wolves in sheep's clothing that occupy so many churches. The Gen Yers are also a generation of people who demand more tangible evidence or proof when it comes to religion than those in the past who succumbed to social pressures within their societies to conform to church going and submission to theological leaders, all too often out of fear, and fear is a poor motivator. .
10 :
My answer is NO. I think that the Church is based on traditional means of connecting with people and in this age of social media, even the Church has to accept that how we connect changes and it must have an open-mind in using new media to spread goodwill and hope to all. I think that's the missing link here. If the White House has recently open its doors to social media users, the church can do a lot. If they're holding masses on TV-- how about a live stream. Nothing's impossible when it comes to spreading the Good News. Let the science of social media and the virtue of religion converge. That's my take.
11 :
While I see internet and media killing churches I don't think it's due to the "social" aspect, people still need REAL contact with other people. Rather with all the games and highly stimulating media available, people's concentration span for anything without high stimuli has dwarfed, and unless church is turned into a big production, they find it too boring. Yet "a big production" can be found in other places, like the media which can do that better. But really, that isn't what worship is all about, so worship services that try to match the "big productions" fail to meet the need it was suppose to fill. So they lose on that as well.
Read more other entries :
Facebook and modern technology are killing churches By Brett Michael Dykes brett Michael Dykes – Tue Feb 15, 1:37 pm ET Despite a recent uptick, church attendance numbers have been declining steadily in both the United States and Europe. Explanations for the trend range from the child sexual abuse scandals in the Catholic church to the antimodern cultural outlooks of fundamentalist and conservative evangelical denominations. But Richard Beck, a professor and experimental psychologist at Abilene Christian University, has advanced a novel theory: He argues that the internet, and specifically the social-networking site Facebook, has eroded the sense of community that people have typically obtained via church membership. In an essay posted on his blog titled, "How Facebook Killed the Church," Beck writes that the notion of a more porous, just-in-time digital community has taken strongest root among the so-called Generation Y folk--people born in the 80s and 90s who are also referred to as "Millennials"--who obsessively use social media on mobile devices. Beck originally published the essay last year, to little public notice. In recent days, however, social media observers revived it, passing it around on sites like Twitter, Tumblr, and, somewhat ironically, Facebook. He writes: So why has mobile social computing affected church attendance? Well, if church has always been kind of lame and irritating why did people go in the first place? Easy, social relationships. Church has always been about social affiliation. You met your friends, discussed your week, talked football, shared information about good schools, talked local politics, got the scoop, and made social plans ("Let's get together for dinner this week!"). Even if you hated church you could feel lonely without it. Particularly with the loss of "third places" in America. But Millennials are in a different social situation. They don't need physical locations for social affiliation. They can make dinner plans via text, cell phone call or Facebook. In short, the thing that kept young people going to church, despite their irritations, has been effectively replaced. You don't need to go to church to stay connected or in touch. You have an iPhone. Sure, Millennials will report that the "reason" they are leaving the church is due to its perceived hypocrisy or shallowness. My argument is that while this might be the proximate cause the more distal cause is social computing. Already connected Millennials have the luxury to kick the church to the curb. This is the position of strength that other generations did not have. We fussed about the church but, at the end of the day, you went to stay connected. For us, church was Facebook! While it is hard to dispute the general reasoning in Beck's argument, it's not only millennials who are maintaining relationships and building communities online. In fact, a new website logs the sinister reach of the elder set in social media bearing the eloquent name "Oh Crap. My parents joined Facebook." And in full recognition that we are in the midst of a bona fide trend here, "Saturday Night Live" produced a parody commercial for a new product called "Damn It, My Mom is on Facebook!" Meanwhile, Beck's own blog, titled "Experimental Theology," hosts a wide range of comments on the relationship between devotion and social media. One provocative comment suggested that the core concept of divine punishment--a key motivation behind many past generations of church observance--just doesn't resonate with a generation of media users conditioned to customized online experiences. "Gen Y'ers don't have the same type of fear of God as earlier generations... and therein lies the problem for the church. The church has not succeeded in roping the Gen Y'ers in with obligation and guilt and fear to their thing," commenter "Heather G" wrote. "Gen Y'ers feel un-obligated to anything that doesn't fit their goals, their dreams for the world, etc. If church isn't contextually purposeful to them, they have no compulsion to show up....whereas earlier generations would keep going to churches even if they felt no connection to the church whatsoever, simply because they feared a God who they had been taught REQUIRED that they go to church - they felt they 'HAD TO.'
Religion & Spirituality - 11 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
No, church and religion are doing a good enough job by itself.
2 :
tl;dr No, it's not killing the churches.
3 :
Haha religion is dying. That bothers you.
4 :
Well, even without the Internet, bible fundamentalists are killing all religions and churches.
5 :
No, I don't think so. There's a lot of religious rambling happening on facebook.
6 :
I'm not going to read some long thing copied and pasted from a BLOG which is 100% opinion. If the internet is "killing religion and churches" then don't use the internet or just keep using it. I want to see religion and churches go up in flames again!
7 :
I don't see a question, I just see an essay you probably wrote for school.
8 :
Do you have permission to post this article? But to answer your question, if by killing churches you mean giving spreading knowledge, then God I hope so!
9 :
Way way off. The internet and the free flow of information makes it easier to unmask the wolves in sheep's clothing that occupy so many churches. The Gen Yers are also a generation of people who demand more tangible evidence or proof when it comes to religion than those in the past who succumbed to social pressures within their societies to conform to church going and submission to theological leaders, all too often out of fear, and fear is a poor motivator. .
10 :
My answer is NO. I think that the Church is based on traditional means of connecting with people and in this age of social media, even the Church has to accept that how we connect changes and it must have an open-mind in using new media to spread goodwill and hope to all. I think that's the missing link here. If the White House has recently open its doors to social media users, the church can do a lot. If they're holding masses on TV-- how about a live stream. Nothing's impossible when it comes to spreading the Good News. Let the science of social media and the virtue of religion converge. That's my take.
11 :
While I see internet and media killing churches I don't think it's due to the "social" aspect, people still need REAL contact with other people. Rather with all the games and highly stimulating media available, people's concentration span for anything without high stimuli has dwarfed, and unless church is turned into a big production, they find it too boring. Yet "a big production" can be found in other places, like the media which can do that better. But really, that isn't what worship is all about, so worship services that try to match the "big productions" fail to meet the need it was suppose to fill. So they lose on that as well.
Read more other entries :
Thursday, February 7, 2013
(This is a big story) My cousin, forced to be closeted?
(This is a big story) My cousin, forced to be closeted?
For years, I have had a mild sexual relationship with my cousin (we are both boys). He always wanted to blow me and he asked me to **** him, but I thought that was way too far. I must add here that he has kind of a feeble mind, not able to act very thoughtfully, generally of restricted perception (don't think that I ever took advantage over him). He lives in a town where people are very rustic and close-minded, trying to create relationships among them so that they remain a closed society and their belongings and money stay within their town. My cousin's father and generally all of his kin always tried to keep my cousin feeble-minded and as a "possession", an "item" to do their bidding if you will. My cousin has undergone so much fear and restriction that is even closeted to himself. He likes to think that there is always a "complicated relationship" with girls he adds on facebook, he has girl porn in his mobile and always makes "straight" comments about girls he sees. This is not himself. This is what he has been forced to think and has even believed it. He is himself, which is gay and feminine, only when we get "dirty" together. There he will talk to me about male actors or athletes he likes or stuff he thinks of but this is for a very short period. Note that me and my other cousin are the only boys he has ever been dirty with. They now want to marry him with a distant cousin of his so that the belongings of these two get joined and become a big sum (he recently received a big fat fortune from an aunt of his, lots of money and real estate). They will not ask him of course, they will brainwash and force him. Although I am not responsible for anything, I feel I have some bit of responsibility. Being closeted to my family myself, I can't preach for freedom for him. We were discussing this with my other cousin (that is a straight boy but likes a little guy blowjob once in a while) and we were saying that he will always be gloomy and depressed because this is not what he wants. He will one day know what he want and he will destroy his family for that. But then it will be a bad time. Do you think I can do something to stop this torture he undergoes, WITHOUT even understanding it? Weird thing is, he thinks this is a normal life he leads. He only thinks it is not when we get to talk ourselves together. He is gay. I did not assume myself that. He has been telling me. We are old enough, me being 18, he being 20. He can't move out alone, he can't even make a proper phonecall, his mind gets overloaded. Plus, he is a distant cousin, so no real incest there.
Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgendered - 4 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
I hope you have considered that perhaps he is bisexual and you are the one who cannot face reality.
2 :
Uhm...having a "mild" sexual relationship with your own cousin is nasty. Incest is just wrong. Anyways, you didn't state how old you guys are?...If your old enough, then he needs to move out to a different part of the town where he can be his gay self and away from his family. If you guys are young just act normal if you know you'll both be ridiculed for it and wait until you are 18 to get out of there.
3 :
welll... its his life., he will eventually realized that his gay oone day. ajst give him time:)
4 :
Go to church as soon as you can. Not b/c of the homosexuality, but b/c you are screwing around with a family member. STOP ASAP. This is sick and disgusting.
Read more other entries :
For years, I have had a mild sexual relationship with my cousin (we are both boys). He always wanted to blow me and he asked me to **** him, but I thought that was way too far. I must add here that he has kind of a feeble mind, not able to act very thoughtfully, generally of restricted perception (don't think that I ever took advantage over him). He lives in a town where people are very rustic and close-minded, trying to create relationships among them so that they remain a closed society and their belongings and money stay within their town. My cousin's father and generally all of his kin always tried to keep my cousin feeble-minded and as a "possession", an "item" to do their bidding if you will. My cousin has undergone so much fear and restriction that is even closeted to himself. He likes to think that there is always a "complicated relationship" with girls he adds on facebook, he has girl porn in his mobile and always makes "straight" comments about girls he sees. This is not himself. This is what he has been forced to think and has even believed it. He is himself, which is gay and feminine, only when we get "dirty" together. There he will talk to me about male actors or athletes he likes or stuff he thinks of but this is for a very short period. Note that me and my other cousin are the only boys he has ever been dirty with. They now want to marry him with a distant cousin of his so that the belongings of these two get joined and become a big sum (he recently received a big fat fortune from an aunt of his, lots of money and real estate). They will not ask him of course, they will brainwash and force him. Although I am not responsible for anything, I feel I have some bit of responsibility. Being closeted to my family myself, I can't preach for freedom for him. We were discussing this with my other cousin (that is a straight boy but likes a little guy blowjob once in a while) and we were saying that he will always be gloomy and depressed because this is not what he wants. He will one day know what he want and he will destroy his family for that. But then it will be a bad time. Do you think I can do something to stop this torture he undergoes, WITHOUT even understanding it? Weird thing is, he thinks this is a normal life he leads. He only thinks it is not when we get to talk ourselves together. He is gay. I did not assume myself that. He has been telling me. We are old enough, me being 18, he being 20. He can't move out alone, he can't even make a proper phonecall, his mind gets overloaded. Plus, he is a distant cousin, so no real incest there.
Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgendered - 4 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
I hope you have considered that perhaps he is bisexual and you are the one who cannot face reality.
2 :
Uhm...having a "mild" sexual relationship with your own cousin is nasty. Incest is just wrong. Anyways, you didn't state how old you guys are?...If your old enough, then he needs to move out to a different part of the town where he can be his gay self and away from his family. If you guys are young just act normal if you know you'll both be ridiculed for it and wait until you are 18 to get out of there.
3 :
welll... its his life., he will eventually realized that his gay oone day. ajst give him time:)
4 :
Go to church as soon as you can. Not b/c of the homosexuality, but b/c you are screwing around with a family member. STOP ASAP. This is sick and disgusting.
Read more other entries :
Friday, February 1, 2013
Am I sensitive? I hope girls answer me too?
Am I sensitive? I hope girls answer me too?
I know a girl for a while now she is not my girlfriend but my favorite friend, and I know that she likes me a lot, she always texts me for hangouts, I ask/text much less for hangouts because I am shy. Well sometimes when I text her she either texts back late, or doesn’t reply and saying she didn’t receive anything. I don’t think she is lying because I see a lot of good signs from her for liking me her as she invites me for hangouts and tells me to be with her. Few weeks ago she went on training abroad and texted saying I miss you, which make believe she is not lying at all about receiving my texts, and I know that she is a good girl. For Example: Today I was planning to gather with very good friends of us, I texted her saying that "can you join us at that restaurant tonight?" but she didn't reply at all, while yesterday she texted me about "what about a brunch on friday?". Another Example, I texted her after I helped her in a social problem asked her "Do you feel better now after what happened and etc ?" the next few days she said I didn't receive anything. also After week I texted her for a gathering and she replied a bit late. I tried to discuss this issue with people online and specially with those I met today at the restaurant, it appeared that many people suffer from this negative feeling after texting, which is better the not replying. Also I she complains sometimes about her mobile (BlackBerry) for being not good, I even noticed her telling someone on facebook "If I only can get my mobile work properly". So what do you think the problem is? Do you think its normal? Do you think I am sensitive (Many people say that I am sensitive? please tell me anything this girl is my best friend :) Thank you in advance :)
Singles & Dating - 8 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Quit being such a pussy. Best regards, Nigel.
2 :
just chill out and stop trippin it's not cool. take a pill and everything will be ok, i promise =)
3 :
yeah grow a pair!
4 :
well if u LIKE her go after her, if not u can just stay at the position that u r at
5 :
She is just busy or has other things to do. I would agree that you are a bit sensitive. Try to chill and stay calm. I understand she is your best friend, but maybe she needs a little space.
6 :
no your just fine. you just need to relax take a breather and chill. she might just be busy is all. im the same way as you. i txt this guy i like all the time. sometimes he's too busy. sometimes he's not. either way i get excited. you know you can try waiting for her txt. then when she txts you. you wait for like 30 mins. if she txts again within that time she cares. hope i helped :)
7 :
obviously her phone service sucks
8 :
Well buddy, I'm no girl. I don't see how a crappy texting history can determine if your sensitive... It just shows that something is not coming through right. If you like the girl, and she likes you. You should ask her out, If your not in a previous relationship. But I'm sure your sensitive. If you want to know if you are.. Just pay attention to how you act. If you cry at a sad movie, then most likely. If you laugh at something important to others, then I would guess not. If you want to know if your too sensitive, well.. Thats for you to decide. I won't hurt people, So I'm called sensitive, but I'm in a happy relationship being who I am. Being sensitive is just how emotional you are, and how much you care for things. Its really judged by you. I'm sure you are, You sound nice. And Inviting her to things and being kind to her will show her that your nice and some what sensitive. But over all. I would say your a nice mix of not to sensitive, but not sensitive at all.
Read more other entries :
I know a girl for a while now she is not my girlfriend but my favorite friend, and I know that she likes me a lot, she always texts me for hangouts, I ask/text much less for hangouts because I am shy. Well sometimes when I text her she either texts back late, or doesn’t reply and saying she didn’t receive anything. I don’t think she is lying because I see a lot of good signs from her for liking me her as she invites me for hangouts and tells me to be with her. Few weeks ago she went on training abroad and texted saying I miss you, which make believe she is not lying at all about receiving my texts, and I know that she is a good girl. For Example: Today I was planning to gather with very good friends of us, I texted her saying that "can you join us at that restaurant tonight?" but she didn't reply at all, while yesterday she texted me about "what about a brunch on friday?". Another Example, I texted her after I helped her in a social problem asked her "Do you feel better now after what happened and etc ?" the next few days she said I didn't receive anything. also After week I texted her for a gathering and she replied a bit late. I tried to discuss this issue with people online and specially with those I met today at the restaurant, it appeared that many people suffer from this negative feeling after texting, which is better the not replying. Also I she complains sometimes about her mobile (BlackBerry) for being not good, I even noticed her telling someone on facebook "If I only can get my mobile work properly". So what do you think the problem is? Do you think its normal? Do you think I am sensitive (Many people say that I am sensitive? please tell me anything this girl is my best friend :) Thank you in advance :)
Singles & Dating - 8 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Quit being such a pussy. Best regards, Nigel.
2 :
just chill out and stop trippin it's not cool. take a pill and everything will be ok, i promise =)
3 :
yeah grow a pair!
4 :
well if u LIKE her go after her, if not u can just stay at the position that u r at
5 :
She is just busy or has other things to do. I would agree that you are a bit sensitive. Try to chill and stay calm. I understand she is your best friend, but maybe she needs a little space.
6 :
no your just fine. you just need to relax take a breather and chill. she might just be busy is all. im the same way as you. i txt this guy i like all the time. sometimes he's too busy. sometimes he's not. either way i get excited. you know you can try waiting for her txt. then when she txts you. you wait for like 30 mins. if she txts again within that time she cares. hope i helped :)
7 :
obviously her phone service sucks
8 :
Well buddy, I'm no girl. I don't see how a crappy texting history can determine if your sensitive... It just shows that something is not coming through right. If you like the girl, and she likes you. You should ask her out, If your not in a previous relationship. But I'm sure your sensitive. If you want to know if you are.. Just pay attention to how you act. If you cry at a sad movie, then most likely. If you laugh at something important to others, then I would guess not. If you want to know if your too sensitive, well.. Thats for you to decide. I won't hurt people, So I'm called sensitive, but I'm in a happy relationship being who I am. Being sensitive is just how emotional you are, and how much you care for things. Its really judged by you. I'm sure you are, You sound nice. And Inviting her to things and being kind to her will show her that your nice and some what sensitive. But over all. I would say your a nice mix of not to sensitive, but not sensitive at all.
Read more other entries :
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