Should I send this apology text? :/ Or did I do anything wrong?? Please read!!?
So about two weeks ago, my boyfriend and I broke up. We're both juniors (now seniors, technically) in high school, and went out for two months. Everything was good for about the first week, but he decided to quit drugs (a fact I'm not supposed to know, because he's never told me), and it changed him a lot. I tried really hard to be there for him, but I did all the effort in the relationship and I felt like I was just burdening him. So we broke up because he was too depressed and going through too much to be a decent boyfriend. We decided to be friends and keep talking to see what happens in the future. I kept hearing from mutual friends last week and the week before, however, that he still likes me and wants to get back together. We would barely talk though. Last week, on Tuesday, he left for Florida on a school trip. During the school trip (on Saturday and Sunday), I texted him twice. The first time, I basically said, "I kinda miss you, I hope you're doing better, I'll always be there for you." In all honesty, I was kind of worried, because I wanted to keep in touch, and because our mutual friends said he seemed depressed since the break up. He didn't text back, so the next day, I texted (something along the lines of), "Please lemme know how you're doing? I'm kinda worried and I don't want to hear from our mutual friends how you're doing, I want to hear from you. If it's not too much, please fill me in." Again, no text back, though he's texted back to all my other texts before (just not those two asking how he was). Last night, he got on Facebook for the first time in forever, and from the comments he made he seemed happy. But, he's still listed as "in a relationship," even though I changed mine and I KNOW he knows how to change it. And he was on for awhile last night. So my questions are basically...does he still like me? I've had to initiate all the text conversations, and they're always short. But he hasn't talked to anybody recently. He's going through too much. Did I do anything wrong by asking him how he was? Should I send this apology text? I'd say something along the lines of, "I'm sorry for bothering you with those questions. I realize they might have been kind of personal and you just didn't want to discuss. I'll talk to you some other time, I guess." Thank you! :/ I asked him if he wanted to continue with our relationship, and he said he couldn't at the moment. :/ It wasn't exactly my choice. But I totally understand where you're coming from, Christopher. I still feel that way about the whole situation. But I asked him if he could handle it right now, and he said he couldn't, so we parted ways. I definitely still like him. :) Fortunately or unfortunately, anyways! :/
Singles & Dating - 7 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
if you still like him then get back with him and support him where it counts. standing from the side lines cheering him on and then when he is better getting back next to him is only going to make him upset.
2 :
He could. Just back off don't send anymore texts and don't take any secondhand information. Be friends with him and you will know soon enough how he feels. Let him come to you, because if a guy wants to get in touch with you he will. Time will tell :) Good luck to you
3 :
I say dont send the apology text. The reason is because you know he is going through aough patch, and you were just reaching out and tying to comfort a hurt friend. The apology text will sound like you don't want anything to do with him anymore. Just wait it out and see if he responds to your texts, dont get annoying with it though. Hope This Helped! and I hope you friend gets better, ( :
4 :
I don't think you did anything wrong by asking him how he was. You obviously care about him and it's good to be there for him when he is going through this tough time. If you feel you need to send that apology text, do it. but I don't think you need to. And I'm sorry about the two of you parting ways, that must be difficult.
5 :
The real question is- do YOU still like HIM???? It sounds like you do or at least you care about him enough to txt him about it and ask. . .hes probably going through a hard time and you should try to get close to him and become friends again. my best advice- talk to him. . .all relationships (friends or dating) will end badly without communication. hope this helps. . .reply back if u r still confused or if you want more details...bye!
6 :
i think if you went out then its ok to ask personal questions. dont appologize for it! just stay really close with him until hes doing better then see if he still wants you too :)
7 :
Dont send him anytng just leave him alone dat mens no txtn or anytn lke dat n c wat he does...
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Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Should I return to my wife, reconcile with my first love or stay with my current girlfriend?
Should I return to my wife, reconcile with my first love or stay with my current girlfriend?
I swear on everything that I'm not trolling. I am in love with my wife, my ex-girlfriend(first love) and my current girlfriend. I'm 40 years old and I feel like a stupid teenage boy for doing this to them because they are all amazing women. All of whom I have a child with or expecting a child with. So, I have to make a choice and I'd appreciate some advice and opinions. I met and fell in love with Rachel while we were in college and we dated steadily for over three years(1988-1991). I was just beginning to shed my "nerd" image after high school and Rachel became my first love when I got into college. We lost our virginity together and everything. During my fourth year in college in 1991, I had to spend four months in Europe studying abroad. Rachel and I had a big argument before I left for Europe but we didn't exactly breakup. While I was in Europe, I met Jenny. Although I've never seen her around campus, she was also studying abroad and she was attending the same college as Rachel and me. Jenny and I started studying together and then dating and then falling in love. The closer I got to Jenny, the farther apart I got from Rachel. When I returned to Florida, I told Rachel that I fell for someone else so we broke up and it broke her heart. Jenny and I stayed together, finished college, got married in 1996, had our daughter Tammi in 1999 and our son Damien in 2001. Jenny and I had a great marriage and I NEVER cheated until last year. Rachel and I reunited via Facebook in March 2009 through a mutual former classmate. She's divorced and she has a son around my kids' age; her ex-husband was an abusive jerk. Sparks started flying again, we met up in person and I proceeded to have an affair with Rachel while married to Jennifer. I still love Rachel but I had no plans on leaving Jenny. Rachel feels no remorse about dating me because she feels as though Jenny "robbed" her of what she could have had with me. True. In college, Jennifer did tell me to make a choice between her and Rachel and I chose Jennifer. So, I guess Rachel is still bitter after all these years. After two months of reconnecting with Rachel, Jenny found out about her. She was hurt and she told me to leave. So, I moved out in May 2009 but we still remained legally married. Although I continue to sleep with Rachel, I wasn't ready to commit myself to her because I was still sad about separating from Jenny. Even when Rachel got pregnant and gave birth to our daughter Destiny in April 2010, I still didn't commit. In July 2009, I met Stephanie. She was single, beautiful, smart, funny and sweet. She's 13 years my junior but she's VERY mature. Stephanie and I have been dating ever since then and we moved in together five months ago. I'm really in love with Stephanie and she's 3 months pregnant now. I'm going to admit that ever since Jenny and I separated, we would occasionally spend the night together, have sex and sometimes discuss reconciling. Just like I'm in a relationship with Stephanie, Jenny has a boyfriend of her own. Now, Jennifer is sick of "playing games" with me, she told me if I want to give our marriage another chance she will dump her boyfriend Andrew and I'll have to dump Stephanie pregnant or not. Or else, she's staying with Andrew, I'm staying with Stephanie and we're getting a divorce. It's a hard decision, especially with all these children involved. I'm in love with Jenny, our marriage was wonderful and it was that ONE mistake with Rachel that ruined it all. Not to mention, Jenny and I have two amazing kids who misses having both their parents together. I love Rachel with all my heart and I always looked back and felt bad about the way I betrayed her in college. So I do feel as though I owe her for that. I always wondered what would have happened if I married her instead. She NEVER would have wound up with such a monster for a husband. The more I look at the precious baby girl I have with Rachel it breaks me down and I cry. But I'm VERY happy with Stephanie and I love her so much. She's giving me my fourth child and I'm giving her her first. I'm sure she knows that I still have feelings for my wife but she has NO that I'm still seeing Rachel but she does know about our child. I don't want to keep doing this. Whichever one I choose, the other two will be hurt. What would you do if you were me?
Marriage & Divorce - 9 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
I wonder if any of these unfortunate women are out at the gun range practicing...
2 :
I would never be you, because I have morals and human decency. Guys like you should be castrated so you can't keep reproducing all of these children with all of these different women. Because you can't keep it in your pants, all of these kids have to grow up without having both of their parents together. The only person you're "in-love" with here is yourself. You wouldn't have cheated on all of them and still be doing so if you were truly in love with them. Grow up and start acting like a man rather than a hormonal teenage boy!!!
3 :
As was once sung in a song, "give me back my bullets". First---get a vasectomy. Second, set up and pay child support-----Man-up, dude. Third, either work on your marriage or get out. And fourthly, What is wrong with all the women you are having a relationship with? Have they no self-respect or are they that liberal, like, what's up, ladies?
4 :
I would never be you because I would never be so selfish as to treat so many human beings with as much insensitivity as you have. You don't love any of these women or you wouldn't be playing juvenile HS head games with them while you continue to screw up their lives. You love you. You haven't given them anything but heartache along with a bunch of children in broken homes. You are addicted to the high of the affairs and new conquests.You thrive on getting your ego stroked by the attention. You are a typical cheater. You really need to stop acting like you are some innocent victim who just got sucked into these situations. You made conscious choices. Your next choice should be to leave all of these women alone so that they can find real men who are capable of having a grown up relationship because I have no doubt that a fourth, fifth, and sixth woman will be joining this little drama before long.
5 :
Not sure I believer your disclaimer, but if this is all true...stop behaving like a hormone-driven teenager and grow up. Let Jenny go: she's just as guilty of "game playing" as you are, and she can be Andrew's problem now. Let Rachel go, too. You've never been able to fully commit to her; it's high past time that you let her find someone who will. Then tell Stephanie what's been going on. Let her decide if she wants to stay with someone with such a lousy track record of sticking to his own decisions. If she does, count your blessings; if not, figure out who you are when you're not bouncing from baby mama to baby mama, and figure out how you're going to make up this mess to your kids.
6 :
I think you are in love with your wife, but feel guilty for the way you treated and love Rachel. By that I mean you have love for her, but are not in love with her. I think the same is true for Stephanie. You love her but are not in love with her. I think there had to be a reason you picked Jenny and she did not steal you from Rachel. She gave you a choice and you picked her because she meant more to you. Stephanie is an oasis from having to choose between your feelings of love for Jenny and feelings of guilt towards what you did to Rachel. I think if you give up your marriage, you will forever regret it because your wife is your true love so you should be there for all your children but end your affairs with Rachel and Stephanie and go back to your wife. By the way, I suggest you get a vasectomy or start using condoms. You have fathered 4 children in three different women and no matter whom you pick some kid(s) will be without a full time father. They are the ones you should truly feel bad for and I hope you will at least pay child support.
7 :
You can't be in love with three people at the same time. If that was what love truly meant, then love would not be special in any way whatsoever. I think for the time being it would be beneficial for you to be by yourself. If you loved one of those woman and were truly happy with them, you wouldn't be thinking about the "what ifs" and you wouldn't cheat on them!! Also, try seeking God for guidance since you obviously have no morals.
8 :
Don't believe a word of this as it reads like a script synopsis for a soap.
9 :
I'm only twenty four but I can somewhat relate. I sort of see myself in your shoes a few years down the road. While in college I was in a relationship that lasted about four years. After about a year or so she lost her virginity to me, and the relationship was pretty much okay. I saw myself marrying this girl, but about the third year in I cheated on her. She's totally family orientated and when they found out they just wouldn't approve of me anymore. Despite my constant arguments with her and her family she gave me a second chance. We were doing just fine when her family started to intervene again. They would get in my face, accusing, asking questions that were totally off. It got to the point that one of her sisters saw me with a female cousin and even got of her car to yell things at me...thinking I was again cheating on her sister. At work there was a co-worker who knew of the problems I was having with my girlfriend. She would give me advice, cheer me up, until I started falling for her. I eventually broke it of with my now ex, and started dating my co-worker. (I quit my job so we wouldn't have problems at work). It's been a couple of months since I've had any communication with my now ex, but I still carry a burden on my conscience for what I did to her. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't ask myself "what if". I'm not gonna lie I've shed a couple of tears for acting so damn stupid and irresponsible, like I said I saw myself marrying my ex. I guess what you should do is just man up. Whats it gonna be:your marriage, your first love, or your new girlfriend. Only you can answer this question. -good luck
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I swear on everything that I'm not trolling. I am in love with my wife, my ex-girlfriend(first love) and my current girlfriend. I'm 40 years old and I feel like a stupid teenage boy for doing this to them because they are all amazing women. All of whom I have a child with or expecting a child with. So, I have to make a choice and I'd appreciate some advice and opinions. I met and fell in love with Rachel while we were in college and we dated steadily for over three years(1988-1991). I was just beginning to shed my "nerd" image after high school and Rachel became my first love when I got into college. We lost our virginity together and everything. During my fourth year in college in 1991, I had to spend four months in Europe studying abroad. Rachel and I had a big argument before I left for Europe but we didn't exactly breakup. While I was in Europe, I met Jenny. Although I've never seen her around campus, she was also studying abroad and she was attending the same college as Rachel and me. Jenny and I started studying together and then dating and then falling in love. The closer I got to Jenny, the farther apart I got from Rachel. When I returned to Florida, I told Rachel that I fell for someone else so we broke up and it broke her heart. Jenny and I stayed together, finished college, got married in 1996, had our daughter Tammi in 1999 and our son Damien in 2001. Jenny and I had a great marriage and I NEVER cheated until last year. Rachel and I reunited via Facebook in March 2009 through a mutual former classmate. She's divorced and she has a son around my kids' age; her ex-husband was an abusive jerk. Sparks started flying again, we met up in person and I proceeded to have an affair with Rachel while married to Jennifer. I still love Rachel but I had no plans on leaving Jenny. Rachel feels no remorse about dating me because she feels as though Jenny "robbed" her of what she could have had with me. True. In college, Jennifer did tell me to make a choice between her and Rachel and I chose Jennifer. So, I guess Rachel is still bitter after all these years. After two months of reconnecting with Rachel, Jenny found out about her. She was hurt and she told me to leave. So, I moved out in May 2009 but we still remained legally married. Although I continue to sleep with Rachel, I wasn't ready to commit myself to her because I was still sad about separating from Jenny. Even when Rachel got pregnant and gave birth to our daughter Destiny in April 2010, I still didn't commit. In July 2009, I met Stephanie. She was single, beautiful, smart, funny and sweet. She's 13 years my junior but she's VERY mature. Stephanie and I have been dating ever since then and we moved in together five months ago. I'm really in love with Stephanie and she's 3 months pregnant now. I'm going to admit that ever since Jenny and I separated, we would occasionally spend the night together, have sex and sometimes discuss reconciling. Just like I'm in a relationship with Stephanie, Jenny has a boyfriend of her own. Now, Jennifer is sick of "playing games" with me, she told me if I want to give our marriage another chance she will dump her boyfriend Andrew and I'll have to dump Stephanie pregnant or not. Or else, she's staying with Andrew, I'm staying with Stephanie and we're getting a divorce. It's a hard decision, especially with all these children involved. I'm in love with Jenny, our marriage was wonderful and it was that ONE mistake with Rachel that ruined it all. Not to mention, Jenny and I have two amazing kids who misses having both their parents together. I love Rachel with all my heart and I always looked back and felt bad about the way I betrayed her in college. So I do feel as though I owe her for that. I always wondered what would have happened if I married her instead. She NEVER would have wound up with such a monster for a husband. The more I look at the precious baby girl I have with Rachel it breaks me down and I cry. But I'm VERY happy with Stephanie and I love her so much. She's giving me my fourth child and I'm giving her her first. I'm sure she knows that I still have feelings for my wife but she has NO that I'm still seeing Rachel but she does know about our child. I don't want to keep doing this. Whichever one I choose, the other two will be hurt. What would you do if you were me?
Marriage & Divorce - 9 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
I wonder if any of these unfortunate women are out at the gun range practicing...
2 :
I would never be you, because I have morals and human decency. Guys like you should be castrated so you can't keep reproducing all of these children with all of these different women. Because you can't keep it in your pants, all of these kids have to grow up without having both of their parents together. The only person you're "in-love" with here is yourself. You wouldn't have cheated on all of them and still be doing so if you were truly in love with them. Grow up and start acting like a man rather than a hormonal teenage boy!!!
3 :
As was once sung in a song, "give me back my bullets". First---get a vasectomy. Second, set up and pay child support-----Man-up, dude. Third, either work on your marriage or get out. And fourthly, What is wrong with all the women you are having a relationship with? Have they no self-respect or are they that liberal, like, what's up, ladies?
4 :
I would never be you because I would never be so selfish as to treat so many human beings with as much insensitivity as you have. You don't love any of these women or you wouldn't be playing juvenile HS head games with them while you continue to screw up their lives. You love you. You haven't given them anything but heartache along with a bunch of children in broken homes. You are addicted to the high of the affairs and new conquests.You thrive on getting your ego stroked by the attention. You are a typical cheater. You really need to stop acting like you are some innocent victim who just got sucked into these situations. You made conscious choices. Your next choice should be to leave all of these women alone so that they can find real men who are capable of having a grown up relationship because I have no doubt that a fourth, fifth, and sixth woman will be joining this little drama before long.
5 :
Not sure I believer your disclaimer, but if this is all true...stop behaving like a hormone-driven teenager and grow up. Let Jenny go: she's just as guilty of "game playing" as you are, and she can be Andrew's problem now. Let Rachel go, too. You've never been able to fully commit to her; it's high past time that you let her find someone who will. Then tell Stephanie what's been going on. Let her decide if she wants to stay with someone with such a lousy track record of sticking to his own decisions. If she does, count your blessings; if not, figure out who you are when you're not bouncing from baby mama to baby mama, and figure out how you're going to make up this mess to your kids.
6 :
I think you are in love with your wife, but feel guilty for the way you treated and love Rachel. By that I mean you have love for her, but are not in love with her. I think the same is true for Stephanie. You love her but are not in love with her. I think there had to be a reason you picked Jenny and she did not steal you from Rachel. She gave you a choice and you picked her because she meant more to you. Stephanie is an oasis from having to choose between your feelings of love for Jenny and feelings of guilt towards what you did to Rachel. I think if you give up your marriage, you will forever regret it because your wife is your true love so you should be there for all your children but end your affairs with Rachel and Stephanie and go back to your wife. By the way, I suggest you get a vasectomy or start using condoms. You have fathered 4 children in three different women and no matter whom you pick some kid(s) will be without a full time father. They are the ones you should truly feel bad for and I hope you will at least pay child support.
7 :
You can't be in love with three people at the same time. If that was what love truly meant, then love would not be special in any way whatsoever. I think for the time being it would be beneficial for you to be by yourself. If you loved one of those woman and were truly happy with them, you wouldn't be thinking about the "what ifs" and you wouldn't cheat on them!! Also, try seeking God for guidance since you obviously have no morals.
8 :
Don't believe a word of this as it reads like a script synopsis for a soap.
9 :
I'm only twenty four but I can somewhat relate. I sort of see myself in your shoes a few years down the road. While in college I was in a relationship that lasted about four years. After about a year or so she lost her virginity to me, and the relationship was pretty much okay. I saw myself marrying this girl, but about the third year in I cheated on her. She's totally family orientated and when they found out they just wouldn't approve of me anymore. Despite my constant arguments with her and her family she gave me a second chance. We were doing just fine when her family started to intervene again. They would get in my face, accusing, asking questions that were totally off. It got to the point that one of her sisters saw me with a female cousin and even got of her car to yell things at me...thinking I was again cheating on her sister. At work there was a co-worker who knew of the problems I was having with my girlfriend. She would give me advice, cheer me up, until I started falling for her. I eventually broke it of with my now ex, and started dating my co-worker. (I quit my job so we wouldn't have problems at work). It's been a couple of months since I've had any communication with my now ex, but I still carry a burden on my conscience for what I did to her. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't ask myself "what if". I'm not gonna lie I've shed a couple of tears for acting so damn stupid and irresponsible, like I said I saw myself marrying my ex. I guess what you should do is just man up. Whats it gonna be:your marriage, your first love, or your new girlfriend. Only you can answer this question. -good luck
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Wednesday, June 1, 2011
What's going on here?
What's going on here?
I have a friend who I have known for almost 10 years now. Over the past 2 years we have been very flirty. He lives about a 1000 miles away for school, when he comes home to visit, since we have both been single, we hook up. I consider us to be "sex buddies" and thats it. A friends-with-benefits-type scenario. Sometimes he says things like "I've been thinking about you" or "You make me happy" or "I heart you" or "You are my favorite person". He has planned on staying in his school town for a job. I plan on moving to Florida. We have never discussed our "status" but he does get jealous when I mention going out with other guys. He has never mentioned other girls, but his facebook profile shows him with lots of gorgeous girls. What would you say is going on here? Until he says otherwise I still consider us as single friends with benefits, although today I realized that things might become wierd between us should either of us get involved in a serious relationship with someone else...
Singles & Dating - 7 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
eat, it solves alll problems ...you'll gt fat, he'll probably leave youor want to be just friends, the end
2 :
He may have been just voicing out his "jealousy", but if you made it to him about your "status" as friends-with -benefits then you two better set the guidelines by which you plan to relate to one another.
3 :
You need to get out of that relationship. If you are FRIENDS with benefits try just being FRIENDS. It sounds like he likes you and wants to go out with you, but he needs comfort out where he is to. Try talking to him. That could help to.
4 :
he cares about you
5 :
Corner him and ask him, "Hey, what are we doing?" See where it goes from there. Either that will be it, or it's all going to come flooding out, how he feels about you.
6 :
Sounds like he wants to b MORE tha friends with benefits with u.He's developed stronger romantic feelings.
7 :
you have 2 decide what u want&tell him.if he feels the same way then the problem is solved
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I have a friend who I have known for almost 10 years now. Over the past 2 years we have been very flirty. He lives about a 1000 miles away for school, when he comes home to visit, since we have both been single, we hook up. I consider us to be "sex buddies" and thats it. A friends-with-benefits-type scenario. Sometimes he says things like "I've been thinking about you" or "You make me happy" or "I heart you" or "You are my favorite person". He has planned on staying in his school town for a job. I plan on moving to Florida. We have never discussed our "status" but he does get jealous when I mention going out with other guys. He has never mentioned other girls, but his facebook profile shows him with lots of gorgeous girls. What would you say is going on here? Until he says otherwise I still consider us as single friends with benefits, although today I realized that things might become wierd between us should either of us get involved in a serious relationship with someone else...
Singles & Dating - 7 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
eat, it solves alll problems ...you'll gt fat, he'll probably leave youor want to be just friends, the end
2 :
He may have been just voicing out his "jealousy", but if you made it to him about your "status" as friends-with -benefits then you two better set the guidelines by which you plan to relate to one another.
3 :
You need to get out of that relationship. If you are FRIENDS with benefits try just being FRIENDS. It sounds like he likes you and wants to go out with you, but he needs comfort out where he is to. Try talking to him. That could help to.
4 :
he cares about you
5 :
Corner him and ask him, "Hey, what are we doing?" See where it goes from there. Either that will be it, or it's all going to come flooding out, how he feels about you.
6 :
Sounds like he wants to b MORE tha friends with benefits with u.He's developed stronger romantic feelings.
7 :
you have 2 decide what u want&tell him.if he feels the same way then the problem is solved
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Saturday, May 28, 2011
Why is my spouse acting like this?
Why is my spouse acting like this?
Forgive my if this is a little long, but our situations have always been complex. In the beginning of February, my boyfriend and I of two years broke up. We are still very much in love with each other so we would talk every now and then and it would drive me insane. He says he loves me, but we just aren't right together, so in the beginning it was obviously killing him as I pleaded for him to take me back. It didn't push him away, it just made him more sad. I learned that begging and pleading was the wrong approach to take, so I started treating him like a friend instead. The way I talk to my male friends would be like, "Yeah, bro;" or "Sup, man?" I'm a female but I'm cool with a lot of guys because I have the tendency to think like a guy, but I still retain my feminine attributes. I started talking with him like that and he didn't like it, so it obviously drove him insane. I was going really crazy and decided to type to him how much I loved him on Facebook.. Wrong move, I know; because he didn't respond back and I told him it hurt my feelings and then he replied with, "Well we aren't dating anyway so it's not really in my place." I got upset and told him, "Well, you and I are still showing the signs that we love eachother so if you want to be with me in the future and start fresh then you still have to show me that you care, otherwise I'll start losing affection for you." This is where his little attitude that pisses me off starting evolving. He acts like he doesn't care, and that I'm the source of all of his drama. He works on a boat, 28 days on, 14 off. He came back on March first and once he saw me, he couldn't resist me.. I tried avoiding his kisses for so long before I gave in because he was being so very sweet. Held me from behind, sighed, told me he loved me, etc.. We got along like nothing ever happened. I was very confused and frustrated that I tried to have a serious talk with him a day or two after he came back. This is another main problem: He doesn't take me seriously. I tried to sit and discuss things in a civil manner and while I cried he started giggling. I got really offended. He apologized a billion times and said that he couldn't help it. He jokes around too much for his own good, and it pisses me off highly. During his fourteen days, he was intending on going to Florida for a week to see his dad and relax.. He hasn't had a home for a year now, and would stay with me whenever he came off the boat. All of his material possessions are in Florida, and he says when he's there, he feels like he actually belongs somewhere since all of his identity is there. I understood but it still sucked that he had to leave. I saw him off with a hug and a kiss and he said he'd miss me and he loves me. He called me when he was on his way, and we were having a good conversation. I started getting frustrated the next few days based on his behavior. When I would want to talk to him, he barely gave me the time of day. I asked him, (forgive the language), to "Put down the fucking controller for once, and speak to me." When I did speak with him, all he could talk about was the amount of money he spent on his room and the things he bought, etc.. When he's off the boat, he's a massive pothead, so I think the pot was affecting his behavior too. Anytime I wanted to be serious I'd say, "Serious talk time." He would get immensely frustrated, sigh, and act like I was a huge problem. This is basically our conversations for the past few days. Him: "Would you just chill out? All you are is negativity and we never have a pleasant conversation." Me: (in tears each time because he just won't listen to me) "There wouldn't BE a problem if you would put forth the effort right now to work on what's ailing me." I believe it's because of pot, he's acting carefree. All I get is anger, annoyance, or silence. It's getting to where I just don't like him as a person anymore. He says he still wants to be with me, and he'll work on himself, but it won't come quick, and I'm impatient. He calls "flirting" with me, flicking water on me.. It's fucking annoying, and not cute. I told him I'm done with the drama.. And I'm intending on giving up, especially when he said he's gonna stay in Florida longer than he intended when he leaves on March 15.. More time for video games, less time for me and trying to solve each others problems. He emotionally neglects and abuses me and is in denial and puts me off as "drama." While taking to him last night, he was really high and said, "I'll stay over there by you for two or three days.." When coming off the boat, mind you.. I can't take him anymore.. He's acting like a piece of shit and he never used to be this way. I think his money is changing him. I
Singles & Dating - 1 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
First of all, unless you're married, he's not your spouse. It also sounds like you two are just not compatible. You want different things in a relationship, and in a person. Break it off now before you implode. Luck!
Read more other entries :
Forgive my if this is a little long, but our situations have always been complex. In the beginning of February, my boyfriend and I of two years broke up. We are still very much in love with each other so we would talk every now and then and it would drive me insane. He says he loves me, but we just aren't right together, so in the beginning it was obviously killing him as I pleaded for him to take me back. It didn't push him away, it just made him more sad. I learned that begging and pleading was the wrong approach to take, so I started treating him like a friend instead. The way I talk to my male friends would be like, "Yeah, bro;" or "Sup, man?" I'm a female but I'm cool with a lot of guys because I have the tendency to think like a guy, but I still retain my feminine attributes. I started talking with him like that and he didn't like it, so it obviously drove him insane. I was going really crazy and decided to type to him how much I loved him on Facebook.. Wrong move, I know; because he didn't respond back and I told him it hurt my feelings and then he replied with, "Well we aren't dating anyway so it's not really in my place." I got upset and told him, "Well, you and I are still showing the signs that we love eachother so if you want to be with me in the future and start fresh then you still have to show me that you care, otherwise I'll start losing affection for you." This is where his little attitude that pisses me off starting evolving. He acts like he doesn't care, and that I'm the source of all of his drama. He works on a boat, 28 days on, 14 off. He came back on March first and once he saw me, he couldn't resist me.. I tried avoiding his kisses for so long before I gave in because he was being so very sweet. Held me from behind, sighed, told me he loved me, etc.. We got along like nothing ever happened. I was very confused and frustrated that I tried to have a serious talk with him a day or two after he came back. This is another main problem: He doesn't take me seriously. I tried to sit and discuss things in a civil manner and while I cried he started giggling. I got really offended. He apologized a billion times and said that he couldn't help it. He jokes around too much for his own good, and it pisses me off highly. During his fourteen days, he was intending on going to Florida for a week to see his dad and relax.. He hasn't had a home for a year now, and would stay with me whenever he came off the boat. All of his material possessions are in Florida, and he says when he's there, he feels like he actually belongs somewhere since all of his identity is there. I understood but it still sucked that he had to leave. I saw him off with a hug and a kiss and he said he'd miss me and he loves me. He called me when he was on his way, and we were having a good conversation. I started getting frustrated the next few days based on his behavior. When I would want to talk to him, he barely gave me the time of day. I asked him, (forgive the language), to "Put down the fucking controller for once, and speak to me." When I did speak with him, all he could talk about was the amount of money he spent on his room and the things he bought, etc.. When he's off the boat, he's a massive pothead, so I think the pot was affecting his behavior too. Anytime I wanted to be serious I'd say, "Serious talk time." He would get immensely frustrated, sigh, and act like I was a huge problem. This is basically our conversations for the past few days. Him: "Would you just chill out? All you are is negativity and we never have a pleasant conversation." Me: (in tears each time because he just won't listen to me) "There wouldn't BE a problem if you would put forth the effort right now to work on what's ailing me." I believe it's because of pot, he's acting carefree. All I get is anger, annoyance, or silence. It's getting to where I just don't like him as a person anymore. He says he still wants to be with me, and he'll work on himself, but it won't come quick, and I'm impatient. He calls "flirting" with me, flicking water on me.. It's fucking annoying, and not cute. I told him I'm done with the drama.. And I'm intending on giving up, especially when he said he's gonna stay in Florida longer than he intended when he leaves on March 15.. More time for video games, less time for me and trying to solve each others problems. He emotionally neglects and abuses me and is in denial and puts me off as "drama." While taking to him last night, he was really high and said, "I'll stay over there by you for two or three days.." When coming off the boat, mind you.. I can't take him anymore.. He's acting like a piece of shit and he never used to be this way. I think his money is changing him. I
Singles & Dating - 1 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
First of all, unless you're married, he's not your spouse. It also sounds like you two are just not compatible. You want different things in a relationship, and in a person. Break it off now before you implode. Luck!
Read more other entries :
Saturday, May 14, 2011
I'm a tenant in a landlord/tenant issue please help?
I'm a tenant in a landlord/tenant issue please help?
My issue is that my ex-landlord (Ben and Andrea) wants to take me to court for $800 and damages that my rabbit caused to the underlining of a bed. When I started to look into renting this place the ad on craigslist posted as $100 per week (I have proof of that). I spoke with Andrea and got everything set up through her. I was going through a divorce and my ex-husband said he would pay for me to stay in a place up to a month so I had time to get everything organized. I paid the landlord a month which was $400. We never entered into any agreement on the length of time I would stay there but just that it would be $100 per week I stayed there. In saying that our oral agreement was for me to pay $100 per week. I asked if I could move in a couple days early and the landlord said it would be fine. I moved in on June 30/09 and the check was dated for June 29/09 and it was for the month of July. I then told them I wouldn't be able to pay my rent for the month of August until August 4th and they were fine with that as Natalie said to me that, that was when my rent was due. I then had some medical issues come up and wasn't able to pay at that time either and said I had to go on an emergency trip to Southern Florida. I ended up leaving on August 6/09 and removed everything I had an left my keys in their kitchen. I spoke with Ben, the landlord, that morning and said if I was going to come back it would be August 20th but I would let them know. Ben then found my step-father's phone number (the person I was staying with in South Florida) and asked him if I was staying there and my step-father said yes. About 2 or 3 days later I told Andrea on a facebook chat message that I would not be returning to stay there. Although Andrea told Ben she has no recollections of it. I didn't hear from Ben or Andrea until August 26/09 when Andrea sent my parents an e-mail on a facebook e-mail on August 25th and she carbon copied it to me saying I owe them $800. Immediately I called to find out what was going on and there was no answer. I texted their phone and finally got in touch with them. During our phone conversations I told them I would pay them the pro-rated amount of the 2 days extra that I was there plus the 7 days notice (as we were on a week to week basis) and Ben denied it saying I was on a month to month. I then said fine I will try and settle with you for the pro-rated days and 15 days notice (for a month to month contract) and Ben said no once again to that. He then told me he wanted to look more into landlord tenant laws and he would get back with me. This is when I decided I would see if you could maybe answer some of my questions. The next day I get an e-mail from Ben because I had a credit application for the place I am residing in now (but not renting from as my step-father pays for it but they for some reason still have to do a background check on people who are staying long-term) and he said that he wanted to settle with me for $400 and it would be done. I then gave Ben a call and told him that I was wanting to wait till Tuesday evening to get back to him on what I wanted to do. He agreed with me and said on Tuesday evening we would be in contact and discuss the details. About an hour later I get a call from him and I was on the phone so could not answer and he left a voicemail which said that he was talking with his lawyer and that if he didn't hear from me by 4pm that he would be taking me to court. Well I haven't returned his phone call yet and it is 1:30pm his time now. I actually don't plan on calling him back but rather writing him an e-mail saying we agreed to get back to eachother on the issue on Tuesday evening. Now i am just trying to see if I can possibly get any advice on this situation as to what I can do and what it is really that I would owe to him in the end. Also Andrea is suffering from a condition that affects her short term memory... Post Concussion disorder or something... not sure if that might contribute to her "selective memory"... This all happened in Florida. My rabbit chewed the material that is stapled onto the boxspring... if you wanted to fix it you would have to buy a piece of material and a staple gun to just reattach new material I also looked up FL statutes which say that if your on a month to month its 15 days notice and if its a week to week (which we had agreed on) its 7 days notice. I also gave notice on either Aug.7 or 8/09 I do have copies of where the craigslist ad was for a week to week rental I never had a written lease The issue I am having with paying for the damages caused by the rabbit is that it happened while I was a tenant and I said tell me how much it costs to repair it and I will pay it back to you or I can just fix it myself. Ben then told me don't worry about it is okay. Now that we are having this issue he wants to bring it all back up.
Renting & Real Estate - 8 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
If you did not sign an agreement, but you paid $400 all in one check for the month of July, that can be interpreted as $400 per month; not $100 per week or you would have been paying it weekly. You didn't pay for August, so that is $400. You didn't give notice til the end of August, so you owe for September, which would be the 30 day notice on a month to month. So $400 for September. Sounds like $800 to me too.
2 :
What you did not say is whether or not your rabbit actually caused damage, if it did then your screwed settle out of court CALL HIM NOW.
3 :
its all about his word against your word in a court.you no doubt will have to pay the damages from the rabbit. i live up here in st petersburg fl. we had to use an organization called "home with a heart" to resolve a problem we had with a former landlord and they helped us for a small donation. they did a good job and saved us several hundred dollers. they will speak to your landlord and help sort it out.
4 :
Do you have a printed copy of the original Craig's List ad for the room? Try to print copies of all the correspondence you mention above. Then keep them in a safe place. Keep notes with dates and descriptions of all phone conversations or text messages. The worst that can happen is that they take you to small claims court where they would have to prove that you owe this money for renting a room when you weren't living there. If they did not provide up front information on notice before moving,etc. that's not your fault. I do not think that a week to week room rental is the same as a house or apartment rental that is month to month or annual lease.
5 :
This is a very difficult situation that you're in currently. I would get some information from a lawyer. You often can get your first consultation for free, and I would do this as well. Do ALL that you can with writing, as when you say things orally they will think that won't happen. I think that this Ben person is being very impatient. Just keep your chin up!
6 :
So much BS and so little facts. Do you have a written lease or not. If you have a written lease then you have to follow it. If you don't have a written lease then the only thing you may have to pay for is the any damage you did.
7 :
The problem with verbal contracts is that they are hard to prove. To protect yourself, get a written lease contract from now on. I did a quick google search on "verbal contract florida", and it does appear verbal contracts are recognized by Florida. The craigslist ad, if you still have it, can provide some proof that you had a weekly agreement. Either way, if you never talked about things like move-out notice, deposits, pet deposits, rent due dates, etc., they cannot be assumed to be anything. I just resigned a lease for my apartment, it was 20+ pages. Not all could be covered in a verbal agreement. I would call him today, and ask him to send you an email, something in writing, stating the charges and reason for the charges. Facts don't change just because you ignore them. And the fact, is that he thinks you owe him money. My opinion, is that they knew you were vacating the place and you owe them no more money. Whatever you two work out, get it in writing.
8 :
As a longtime land lady, you owe what he has asked for, and you are lucky. Had you damaged the boxsprings in one of my homes, you would need to pay for a new boxspring as well. If you owned the boxsprings and decided to fix it, that would be fine, because you owned it. When you destroy someone else's property, you must replace it with new.
Read more other entries :
My issue is that my ex-landlord (Ben and Andrea) wants to take me to court for $800 and damages that my rabbit caused to the underlining of a bed. When I started to look into renting this place the ad on craigslist posted as $100 per week (I have proof of that). I spoke with Andrea and got everything set up through her. I was going through a divorce and my ex-husband said he would pay for me to stay in a place up to a month so I had time to get everything organized. I paid the landlord a month which was $400. We never entered into any agreement on the length of time I would stay there but just that it would be $100 per week I stayed there. In saying that our oral agreement was for me to pay $100 per week. I asked if I could move in a couple days early and the landlord said it would be fine. I moved in on June 30/09 and the check was dated for June 29/09 and it was for the month of July. I then told them I wouldn't be able to pay my rent for the month of August until August 4th and they were fine with that as Natalie said to me that, that was when my rent was due. I then had some medical issues come up and wasn't able to pay at that time either and said I had to go on an emergency trip to Southern Florida. I ended up leaving on August 6/09 and removed everything I had an left my keys in their kitchen. I spoke with Ben, the landlord, that morning and said if I was going to come back it would be August 20th but I would let them know. Ben then found my step-father's phone number (the person I was staying with in South Florida) and asked him if I was staying there and my step-father said yes. About 2 or 3 days later I told Andrea on a facebook chat message that I would not be returning to stay there. Although Andrea told Ben she has no recollections of it. I didn't hear from Ben or Andrea until August 26/09 when Andrea sent my parents an e-mail on a facebook e-mail on August 25th and she carbon copied it to me saying I owe them $800. Immediately I called to find out what was going on and there was no answer. I texted their phone and finally got in touch with them. During our phone conversations I told them I would pay them the pro-rated amount of the 2 days extra that I was there plus the 7 days notice (as we were on a week to week basis) and Ben denied it saying I was on a month to month. I then said fine I will try and settle with you for the pro-rated days and 15 days notice (for a month to month contract) and Ben said no once again to that. He then told me he wanted to look more into landlord tenant laws and he would get back with me. This is when I decided I would see if you could maybe answer some of my questions. The next day I get an e-mail from Ben because I had a credit application for the place I am residing in now (but not renting from as my step-father pays for it but they for some reason still have to do a background check on people who are staying long-term) and he said that he wanted to settle with me for $400 and it would be done. I then gave Ben a call and told him that I was wanting to wait till Tuesday evening to get back to him on what I wanted to do. He agreed with me and said on Tuesday evening we would be in contact and discuss the details. About an hour later I get a call from him and I was on the phone so could not answer and he left a voicemail which said that he was talking with his lawyer and that if he didn't hear from me by 4pm that he would be taking me to court. Well I haven't returned his phone call yet and it is 1:30pm his time now. I actually don't plan on calling him back but rather writing him an e-mail saying we agreed to get back to eachother on the issue on Tuesday evening. Now i am just trying to see if I can possibly get any advice on this situation as to what I can do and what it is really that I would owe to him in the end. Also Andrea is suffering from a condition that affects her short term memory... Post Concussion disorder or something... not sure if that might contribute to her "selective memory"... This all happened in Florida. My rabbit chewed the material that is stapled onto the boxspring... if you wanted to fix it you would have to buy a piece of material and a staple gun to just reattach new material I also looked up FL statutes which say that if your on a month to month its 15 days notice and if its a week to week (which we had agreed on) its 7 days notice. I also gave notice on either Aug.7 or 8/09 I do have copies of where the craigslist ad was for a week to week rental I never had a written lease The issue I am having with paying for the damages caused by the rabbit is that it happened while I was a tenant and I said tell me how much it costs to repair it and I will pay it back to you or I can just fix it myself. Ben then told me don't worry about it is okay. Now that we are having this issue he wants to bring it all back up.
Renting & Real Estate - 8 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
If you did not sign an agreement, but you paid $400 all in one check for the month of July, that can be interpreted as $400 per month; not $100 per week or you would have been paying it weekly. You didn't pay for August, so that is $400. You didn't give notice til the end of August, so you owe for September, which would be the 30 day notice on a month to month. So $400 for September. Sounds like $800 to me too.
2 :
What you did not say is whether or not your rabbit actually caused damage, if it did then your screwed settle out of court CALL HIM NOW.
3 :
its all about his word against your word in a court.you no doubt will have to pay the damages from the rabbit. i live up here in st petersburg fl. we had to use an organization called "home with a heart" to resolve a problem we had with a former landlord and they helped us for a small donation. they did a good job and saved us several hundred dollers. they will speak to your landlord and help sort it out.
4 :
Do you have a printed copy of the original Craig's List ad for the room? Try to print copies of all the correspondence you mention above. Then keep them in a safe place. Keep notes with dates and descriptions of all phone conversations or text messages. The worst that can happen is that they take you to small claims court where they would have to prove that you owe this money for renting a room when you weren't living there. If they did not provide up front information on notice before moving,etc. that's not your fault. I do not think that a week to week room rental is the same as a house or apartment rental that is month to month or annual lease.
5 :
This is a very difficult situation that you're in currently. I would get some information from a lawyer. You often can get your first consultation for free, and I would do this as well. Do ALL that you can with writing, as when you say things orally they will think that won't happen. I think that this Ben person is being very impatient. Just keep your chin up!
6 :
So much BS and so little facts. Do you have a written lease or not. If you have a written lease then you have to follow it. If you don't have a written lease then the only thing you may have to pay for is the any damage you did.
7 :
The problem with verbal contracts is that they are hard to prove. To protect yourself, get a written lease contract from now on. I did a quick google search on "verbal contract florida", and it does appear verbal contracts are recognized by Florida. The craigslist ad, if you still have it, can provide some proof that you had a weekly agreement. Either way, if you never talked about things like move-out notice, deposits, pet deposits, rent due dates, etc., they cannot be assumed to be anything. I just resigned a lease for my apartment, it was 20+ pages. Not all could be covered in a verbal agreement. I would call him today, and ask him to send you an email, something in writing, stating the charges and reason for the charges. Facts don't change just because you ignore them. And the fact, is that he thinks you owe him money. My opinion, is that they knew you were vacating the place and you owe them no more money. Whatever you two work out, get it in writing.
8 :
As a longtime land lady, you owe what he has asked for, and you are lucky. Had you damaged the boxsprings in one of my homes, you would need to pay for a new boxspring as well. If you owned the boxsprings and decided to fix it, that would be fine, because you owned it. When you destroy someone else's property, you must replace it with new.
Read more other entries :
Saturday, May 7, 2011
LGBT: Why should I feel guilty about some facebook jerk harassing this couple I'm sexually involved with?
LGBT: Why should I feel guilty about some facebook jerk harassing this couple I'm sexually involved with?
I'm a 21 year old gay guy and I created a facebook page two weeks ago. That same day, I received and accepted a friend request from this gay guy(lets call him "LOSER"). He looked so familiar and I realized that he was an old myspace friend of mine. I deleted my myspace page in September 2008. Me and LOSER used to message each other on myspace two years ago talking about hooking up and stuff. I admit he is hot and he's about my age but we never ended up hooking up. We never met in person at all. Anyway, for a while now, I've been sexually/romantically involved with a gay couple named Luis and Sergio(I posted many yahoo questions concerning them). Luis and I are actually in love. Sergio and I have feelings that seem to be progressing into love. I'm living with them now and we're discussing the possibility of having a three-way relationship(not just a threesome) and moving to Florida this summer. Anyway, the day after I created my Facebook page. LOSER left a rude comment on several pictures of me, Luis and Sergio together(it turns out that he's been on their friends' list for a while though they've never really spoken). Right away, Sergio and I blocked him. But Luis simply told LOSER to stop leaving rude comments on our pics. LOSER said he didn't mean any disrespect, so Luis accepted his apology and left it alone. Two weeks passed with no issues but today Luis was pissed off because LOSER left another rude comment. When Luis confronted him about it, LOSER called him an "old f*ck" and trashy. Well, Luis turned 37 years old yesterday but let me to tell you something he is still sexier than many guys MY AGE. He often gets mistaken for 25(sometimes younger)! Sure, his facebook has a lot of half-naked pics of himself but he's very classy nonetheless and very intelligent. Anyway, Luis told the guy off and blocked him. But he is pissed. But what concerns me is this text message that Luis sent to me: "Im gonna punch ur stupid little friend in the F**king face if I eva meet him. It seems like eva since he saw u in pics with me and Sergio thats when he started leavin those stupid comments." Why is he referring to LOSER as my "friend" just because he happened to be some **** I used to talk to on myspace? Like I said I never even met the guy once. So, I don't know why this guy is acting so stupid. Does it sound Luis is accusing me of something or is he reacting this way out of anger for the moment? I'm pissed myself and I can't talk to Luis right now because he's VERY pissed and I don't want us to end up arguing. What should I do?
Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgendered - 4 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
He'll get over it. He is just mad and has to blame someone or say nasty things to other people. It's the way a lot of people deal with anger. I would just let it be.
2 :
He is upset. Give him time to cool off. This LOSER could just be hating because of the fact that you are doing better than he is or you are happier than he is.
3 :
I would say let him cool off and he's just upset about this situation and you were in the line of fire. But it's probably out of the moment anger. With this "LOSER" who knows if he's a stalker and doesn't understand the difference between reality and fantasy. I would steer clear of this LOSER.
4 :
leave it alone for a while, let him cool down and forget it. i think you should forget the whole thing too, as long as the "Loser" no longer has anyway of commenting or contacting you or them.
Read more other entries :
I'm a 21 year old gay guy and I created a facebook page two weeks ago. That same day, I received and accepted a friend request from this gay guy(lets call him "LOSER"). He looked so familiar and I realized that he was an old myspace friend of mine. I deleted my myspace page in September 2008. Me and LOSER used to message each other on myspace two years ago talking about hooking up and stuff. I admit he is hot and he's about my age but we never ended up hooking up. We never met in person at all. Anyway, for a while now, I've been sexually/romantically involved with a gay couple named Luis and Sergio(I posted many yahoo questions concerning them). Luis and I are actually in love. Sergio and I have feelings that seem to be progressing into love. I'm living with them now and we're discussing the possibility of having a three-way relationship(not just a threesome) and moving to Florida this summer. Anyway, the day after I created my Facebook page. LOSER left a rude comment on several pictures of me, Luis and Sergio together(it turns out that he's been on their friends' list for a while though they've never really spoken). Right away, Sergio and I blocked him. But Luis simply told LOSER to stop leaving rude comments on our pics. LOSER said he didn't mean any disrespect, so Luis accepted his apology and left it alone. Two weeks passed with no issues but today Luis was pissed off because LOSER left another rude comment. When Luis confronted him about it, LOSER called him an "old f*ck" and trashy. Well, Luis turned 37 years old yesterday but let me to tell you something he is still sexier than many guys MY AGE. He often gets mistaken for 25(sometimes younger)! Sure, his facebook has a lot of half-naked pics of himself but he's very classy nonetheless and very intelligent. Anyway, Luis told the guy off and blocked him. But he is pissed. But what concerns me is this text message that Luis sent to me: "Im gonna punch ur stupid little friend in the F**king face if I eva meet him. It seems like eva since he saw u in pics with me and Sergio thats when he started leavin those stupid comments." Why is he referring to LOSER as my "friend" just because he happened to be some **** I used to talk to on myspace? Like I said I never even met the guy once. So, I don't know why this guy is acting so stupid. Does it sound Luis is accusing me of something or is he reacting this way out of anger for the moment? I'm pissed myself and I can't talk to Luis right now because he's VERY pissed and I don't want us to end up arguing. What should I do?
Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgendered - 4 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
He'll get over it. He is just mad and has to blame someone or say nasty things to other people. It's the way a lot of people deal with anger. I would just let it be.
2 :
He is upset. Give him time to cool off. This LOSER could just be hating because of the fact that you are doing better than he is or you are happier than he is.
3 :
I would say let him cool off and he's just upset about this situation and you were in the line of fire. But it's probably out of the moment anger. With this "LOSER" who knows if he's a stalker and doesn't understand the difference between reality and fantasy. I would steer clear of this LOSER.
4 :
leave it alone for a while, let him cool down and forget it. i think you should forget the whole thing too, as long as the "Loser" no longer has anyway of commenting or contacting you or them.
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Sunday, May 1, 2011
Does anyone know why he isn't calling?
Does anyone know why he isn't calling?
Super long story, but I'll do my best to brief it up. I currently live and go to school in Chicago, but my family lives in Southern California. I visit often, and will be moving to San Diego in November when I am finished with school. There is a guy in San Diego, that I have known for the past four years. We have a great connection- lots of chemistry, and share many of the same values. We've kept in touch while I've been in Chicago, sometimes we'll chat on the phone for 6-7 hours straight. I saw him during my visit in August, and it was then that he expressed an interest in wanting to be in a relationship. Of course, the feelings were mutual, but at the time, I was in a very serious relationship. He continued to pursue me, but didn't want to get in the way of my relationship. He said he is at the point in his life (he is 27) where he wants to begin settling down, and said that he thinks I am the right woman for him. My boyfriend and I ended things in December, and the guy in SD continued to pursue me, and express his feelings. He always questioned what my plans are after school in Chicago- always wanting to know if I am really coming back or not. A few months ago, he told me that he is afraid that I'll always be the girl who got away. I came home for a visit this past March, and we spent a few days together. We had a great time- he left me notes all over his place, and when he had to leave for work, he would call during his breaks to tell me how much he missed me. The last night I was there, we discussed our situation, and we both shared the same feelings toward one another. I told him I would be back in November for good. Since I've been in Chicago, (about a month now) however, we've barely been speaking. I know this sounds gay, but a couple days after I left, he made his default picture on facebook one of the two of us. I've been really confused, because things seem sort of different now and I don't know why. We've talked a few times since I've been home, but there is certainly a lack of enthusiasm on his end of things. He isn't calling/texting/etc. as much as before, but still has our picture up, which in my opinion, is kind of a relationship thing to do. Not to mention, all of his other default pics are either of him by himself or with his cousins who he is very close to. I am the only girl (non related) that is up there. Anyway, if anyone has any *kind* advice on this matter, I'd appreciate it. I just don't know what's going on, and I don't want to be the needy girl and ask him, "what's wrong?" So this is why I post here. :) Thanks in advance.
Singles & Dating - 1 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
I'm in a similar situation and all I can think is that when some guys feel they've "got" you they don't think they need to work as hard any more. Ring him and ask him if you've done something wrong as he's not as chatty as he was. I don't think you have tho- it's just a man thing!
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Super long story, but I'll do my best to brief it up. I currently live and go to school in Chicago, but my family lives in Southern California. I visit often, and will be moving to San Diego in November when I am finished with school. There is a guy in San Diego, that I have known for the past four years. We have a great connection- lots of chemistry, and share many of the same values. We've kept in touch while I've been in Chicago, sometimes we'll chat on the phone for 6-7 hours straight. I saw him during my visit in August, and it was then that he expressed an interest in wanting to be in a relationship. Of course, the feelings were mutual, but at the time, I was in a very serious relationship. He continued to pursue me, but didn't want to get in the way of my relationship. He said he is at the point in his life (he is 27) where he wants to begin settling down, and said that he thinks I am the right woman for him. My boyfriend and I ended things in December, and the guy in SD continued to pursue me, and express his feelings. He always questioned what my plans are after school in Chicago- always wanting to know if I am really coming back or not. A few months ago, he told me that he is afraid that I'll always be the girl who got away. I came home for a visit this past March, and we spent a few days together. We had a great time- he left me notes all over his place, and when he had to leave for work, he would call during his breaks to tell me how much he missed me. The last night I was there, we discussed our situation, and we both shared the same feelings toward one another. I told him I would be back in November for good. Since I've been in Chicago, (about a month now) however, we've barely been speaking. I know this sounds gay, but a couple days after I left, he made his default picture on facebook one of the two of us. I've been really confused, because things seem sort of different now and I don't know why. We've talked a few times since I've been home, but there is certainly a lack of enthusiasm on his end of things. He isn't calling/texting/etc. as much as before, but still has our picture up, which in my opinion, is kind of a relationship thing to do. Not to mention, all of his other default pics are either of him by himself or with his cousins who he is very close to. I am the only girl (non related) that is up there. Anyway, if anyone has any *kind* advice on this matter, I'd appreciate it. I just don't know what's going on, and I don't want to be the needy girl and ask him, "what's wrong?" So this is why I post here. :) Thanks in advance.
Singles & Dating - 1 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
I'm in a similar situation and all I can think is that when some guys feel they've "got" you they don't think they need to work as hard any more. Ring him and ask him if you've done something wrong as he's not as chatty as he was. I don't think you have tho- it's just a man thing!
Read more other entries :
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