Is the internet killing religion and churches?
Facebook and modern technology are killing churches By Brett Michael Dykes brett Michael Dykes – Tue Feb 15, 1:37 pm ET Despite a recent uptick, church attendance numbers have been declining steadily in both the United States and Europe. Explanations for the trend range from the child sexual abuse scandals in the Catholic church to the antimodern cultural outlooks of fundamentalist and conservative evangelical denominations. But Richard Beck, a professor and experimental psychologist at Abilene Christian University, has advanced a novel theory: He argues that the internet, and specifically the social-networking site Facebook, has eroded the sense of community that people have typically obtained via church membership. In an essay posted on his blog titled, "How Facebook Killed the Church," Beck writes that the notion of a more porous, just-in-time digital community has taken strongest root among the so-called Generation Y folk--people born in the 80s and 90s who are also referred to as "Millennials"--who obsessively use social media on mobile devices. Beck originally published the essay last year, to little public notice. In recent days, however, social media observers revived it, passing it around on sites like Twitter, Tumblr, and, somewhat ironically, Facebook. He writes: So why has mobile social computing affected church attendance? Well, if church has always been kind of lame and irritating why did people go in the first place? Easy, social relationships. Church has always been about social affiliation. You met your friends, discussed your week, talked football, shared information about good schools, talked local politics, got the scoop, and made social plans ("Let's get together for dinner this week!"). Even if you hated church you could feel lonely without it. Particularly with the loss of "third places" in America. But Millennials are in a different social situation. They don't need physical locations for social affiliation. They can make dinner plans via text, cell phone call or Facebook. In short, the thing that kept young people going to church, despite their irritations, has been effectively replaced. You don't need to go to church to stay connected or in touch. You have an iPhone. Sure, Millennials will report that the "reason" they are leaving the church is due to its perceived hypocrisy or shallowness. My argument is that while this might be the proximate cause the more distal cause is social computing. Already connected Millennials have the luxury to kick the church to the curb. This is the position of strength that other generations did not have. We fussed about the church but, at the end of the day, you went to stay connected. For us, church was Facebook! While it is hard to dispute the general reasoning in Beck's argument, it's not only millennials who are maintaining relationships and building communities online. In fact, a new website logs the sinister reach of the elder set in social media bearing the eloquent name "Oh Crap. My parents joined Facebook." And in full recognition that we are in the midst of a bona fide trend here, "Saturday Night Live" produced a parody commercial for a new product called "Damn It, My Mom is on Facebook!" Meanwhile, Beck's own blog, titled "Experimental Theology," hosts a wide range of comments on the relationship between devotion and social media. One provocative comment suggested that the core concept of divine punishment--a key motivation behind many past generations of church observance--just doesn't resonate with a generation of media users conditioned to customized online experiences. "Gen Y'ers don't have the same type of fear of God as earlier generations... and therein lies the problem for the church. The church has not succeeded in roping the Gen Y'ers in with obligation and guilt and fear to their thing," commenter "Heather G" wrote. "Gen Y'ers feel un-obligated to anything that doesn't fit their goals, their dreams for the world, etc. If church isn't contextually purposeful to them, they have no compulsion to show up....whereas earlier generations would keep going to churches even if they felt no connection to the church whatsoever, simply because they feared a God who they had been taught REQUIRED that they go to church - they felt they 'HAD TO.'
Religion & Spirituality - 11 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
No, church and religion are doing a good enough job by itself.
2 :
tl;dr No, it's not killing the churches.
3 :
Haha religion is dying. That bothers you.
4 :
Well, even without the Internet, bible fundamentalists are killing all religions and churches.
5 :
No, I don't think so. There's a lot of religious rambling happening on facebook.
6 :
I'm not going to read some long thing copied and pasted from a BLOG which is 100% opinion. If the internet is "killing religion and churches" then don't use the internet or just keep using it. I want to see religion and churches go up in flames again!
7 :
I don't see a question, I just see an essay you probably wrote for school.
8 :
Do you have permission to post this article? But to answer your question, if by killing churches you mean giving spreading knowledge, then God I hope so!
9 :
Way way off. The internet and the free flow of information makes it easier to unmask the wolves in sheep's clothing that occupy so many churches. The Gen Yers are also a generation of people who demand more tangible evidence or proof when it comes to religion than those in the past who succumbed to social pressures within their societies to conform to church going and submission to theological leaders, all too often out of fear, and fear is a poor motivator. .
10 :
My answer is NO. I think that the Church is based on traditional means of connecting with people and in this age of social media, even the Church has to accept that how we connect changes and it must have an open-mind in using new media to spread goodwill and hope to all. I think that's the missing link here. If the White House has recently open its doors to social media users, the church can do a lot. If they're holding masses on TV-- how about a live stream. Nothing's impossible when it comes to spreading the Good News. Let the science of social media and the virtue of religion converge. That's my take.
11 :
While I see internet and media killing churches I don't think it's due to the "social" aspect, people still need REAL contact with other people. Rather with all the games and highly stimulating media available, people's concentration span for anything without high stimuli has dwarfed, and unless church is turned into a big production, they find it too boring. Yet "a big production" can be found in other places, like the media which can do that better. But really, that isn't what worship is all about, so worship services that try to match the "big productions" fail to meet the need it was suppose to fill. So they lose on that as well.
Read more other entries :
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Thursday, February 7, 2013
(This is a big story) My cousin, forced to be closeted?
(This is a big story) My cousin, forced to be closeted?
For years, I have had a mild sexual relationship with my cousin (we are both boys). He always wanted to blow me and he asked me to **** him, but I thought that was way too far. I must add here that he has kind of a feeble mind, not able to act very thoughtfully, generally of restricted perception (don't think that I ever took advantage over him). He lives in a town where people are very rustic and close-minded, trying to create relationships among them so that they remain a closed society and their belongings and money stay within their town. My cousin's father and generally all of his kin always tried to keep my cousin feeble-minded and as a "possession", an "item" to do their bidding if you will. My cousin has undergone so much fear and restriction that is even closeted to himself. He likes to think that there is always a "complicated relationship" with girls he adds on facebook, he has girl porn in his mobile and always makes "straight" comments about girls he sees. This is not himself. This is what he has been forced to think and has even believed it. He is himself, which is gay and feminine, only when we get "dirty" together. There he will talk to me about male actors or athletes he likes or stuff he thinks of but this is for a very short period. Note that me and my other cousin are the only boys he has ever been dirty with. They now want to marry him with a distant cousin of his so that the belongings of these two get joined and become a big sum (he recently received a big fat fortune from an aunt of his, lots of money and real estate). They will not ask him of course, they will brainwash and force him. Although I am not responsible for anything, I feel I have some bit of responsibility. Being closeted to my family myself, I can't preach for freedom for him. We were discussing this with my other cousin (that is a straight boy but likes a little guy blowjob once in a while) and we were saying that he will always be gloomy and depressed because this is not what he wants. He will one day know what he want and he will destroy his family for that. But then it will be a bad time. Do you think I can do something to stop this torture he undergoes, WITHOUT even understanding it? Weird thing is, he thinks this is a normal life he leads. He only thinks it is not when we get to talk ourselves together. He is gay. I did not assume myself that. He has been telling me. We are old enough, me being 18, he being 20. He can't move out alone, he can't even make a proper phonecall, his mind gets overloaded. Plus, he is a distant cousin, so no real incest there.
Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgendered - 4 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
I hope you have considered that perhaps he is bisexual and you are the one who cannot face reality.
2 :
Uhm...having a "mild" sexual relationship with your own cousin is nasty. Incest is just wrong. Anyways, you didn't state how old you guys are?...If your old enough, then he needs to move out to a different part of the town where he can be his gay self and away from his family. If you guys are young just act normal if you know you'll both be ridiculed for it and wait until you are 18 to get out of there.
3 :
welll... its his life., he will eventually realized that his gay oone day. ajst give him time:)
4 :
Go to church as soon as you can. Not b/c of the homosexuality, but b/c you are screwing around with a family member. STOP ASAP. This is sick and disgusting.
Read more other entries :
For years, I have had a mild sexual relationship with my cousin (we are both boys). He always wanted to blow me and he asked me to **** him, but I thought that was way too far. I must add here that he has kind of a feeble mind, not able to act very thoughtfully, generally of restricted perception (don't think that I ever took advantage over him). He lives in a town where people are very rustic and close-minded, trying to create relationships among them so that they remain a closed society and their belongings and money stay within their town. My cousin's father and generally all of his kin always tried to keep my cousin feeble-minded and as a "possession", an "item" to do their bidding if you will. My cousin has undergone so much fear and restriction that is even closeted to himself. He likes to think that there is always a "complicated relationship" with girls he adds on facebook, he has girl porn in his mobile and always makes "straight" comments about girls he sees. This is not himself. This is what he has been forced to think and has even believed it. He is himself, which is gay and feminine, only when we get "dirty" together. There he will talk to me about male actors or athletes he likes or stuff he thinks of but this is for a very short period. Note that me and my other cousin are the only boys he has ever been dirty with. They now want to marry him with a distant cousin of his so that the belongings of these two get joined and become a big sum (he recently received a big fat fortune from an aunt of his, lots of money and real estate). They will not ask him of course, they will brainwash and force him. Although I am not responsible for anything, I feel I have some bit of responsibility. Being closeted to my family myself, I can't preach for freedom for him. We were discussing this with my other cousin (that is a straight boy but likes a little guy blowjob once in a while) and we were saying that he will always be gloomy and depressed because this is not what he wants. He will one day know what he want and he will destroy his family for that. But then it will be a bad time. Do you think I can do something to stop this torture he undergoes, WITHOUT even understanding it? Weird thing is, he thinks this is a normal life he leads. He only thinks it is not when we get to talk ourselves together. He is gay. I did not assume myself that. He has been telling me. We are old enough, me being 18, he being 20. He can't move out alone, he can't even make a proper phonecall, his mind gets overloaded. Plus, he is a distant cousin, so no real incest there.
Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgendered - 4 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
I hope you have considered that perhaps he is bisexual and you are the one who cannot face reality.
2 :
Uhm...having a "mild" sexual relationship with your own cousin is nasty. Incest is just wrong. Anyways, you didn't state how old you guys are?...If your old enough, then he needs to move out to a different part of the town where he can be his gay self and away from his family. If you guys are young just act normal if you know you'll both be ridiculed for it and wait until you are 18 to get out of there.
3 :
welll... its his life., he will eventually realized that his gay oone day. ajst give him time:)
4 :
Go to church as soon as you can. Not b/c of the homosexuality, but b/c you are screwing around with a family member. STOP ASAP. This is sick and disgusting.
Read more other entries :
Friday, February 1, 2013
Am I sensitive? I hope girls answer me too?
Am I sensitive? I hope girls answer me too?
I know a girl for a while now she is not my girlfriend but my favorite friend, and I know that she likes me a lot, she always texts me for hangouts, I ask/text much less for hangouts because I am shy. Well sometimes when I text her she either texts back late, or doesn’t reply and saying she didn’t receive anything. I don’t think she is lying because I see a lot of good signs from her for liking me her as she invites me for hangouts and tells me to be with her. Few weeks ago she went on training abroad and texted saying I miss you, which make believe she is not lying at all about receiving my texts, and I know that she is a good girl. For Example: Today I was planning to gather with very good friends of us, I texted her saying that "can you join us at that restaurant tonight?" but she didn't reply at all, while yesterday she texted me about "what about a brunch on friday?". Another Example, I texted her after I helped her in a social problem asked her "Do you feel better now after what happened and etc ?" the next few days she said I didn't receive anything. also After week I texted her for a gathering and she replied a bit late. I tried to discuss this issue with people online and specially with those I met today at the restaurant, it appeared that many people suffer from this negative feeling after texting, which is better the not replying. Also I she complains sometimes about her mobile (BlackBerry) for being not good, I even noticed her telling someone on facebook "If I only can get my mobile work properly". So what do you think the problem is? Do you think its normal? Do you think I am sensitive (Many people say that I am sensitive? please tell me anything this girl is my best friend :) Thank you in advance :)
Singles & Dating - 8 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Quit being such a pussy. Best regards, Nigel.
2 :
just chill out and stop trippin it's not cool. take a pill and everything will be ok, i promise =)
3 :
yeah grow a pair!
4 :
well if u LIKE her go after her, if not u can just stay at the position that u r at
5 :
She is just busy or has other things to do. I would agree that you are a bit sensitive. Try to chill and stay calm. I understand she is your best friend, but maybe she needs a little space.
6 :
no your just fine. you just need to relax take a breather and chill. she might just be busy is all. im the same way as you. i txt this guy i like all the time. sometimes he's too busy. sometimes he's not. either way i get excited. you know you can try waiting for her txt. then when she txts you. you wait for like 30 mins. if she txts again within that time she cares. hope i helped :)
7 :
obviously her phone service sucks
8 :
Well buddy, I'm no girl. I don't see how a crappy texting history can determine if your sensitive... It just shows that something is not coming through right. If you like the girl, and she likes you. You should ask her out, If your not in a previous relationship. But I'm sure your sensitive. If you want to know if you are.. Just pay attention to how you act. If you cry at a sad movie, then most likely. If you laugh at something important to others, then I would guess not. If you want to know if your too sensitive, well.. Thats for you to decide. I won't hurt people, So I'm called sensitive, but I'm in a happy relationship being who I am. Being sensitive is just how emotional you are, and how much you care for things. Its really judged by you. I'm sure you are, You sound nice. And Inviting her to things and being kind to her will show her that your nice and some what sensitive. But over all. I would say your a nice mix of not to sensitive, but not sensitive at all.
Read more other entries :
I know a girl for a while now she is not my girlfriend but my favorite friend, and I know that she likes me a lot, she always texts me for hangouts, I ask/text much less for hangouts because I am shy. Well sometimes when I text her she either texts back late, or doesn’t reply and saying she didn’t receive anything. I don’t think she is lying because I see a lot of good signs from her for liking me her as she invites me for hangouts and tells me to be with her. Few weeks ago she went on training abroad and texted saying I miss you, which make believe she is not lying at all about receiving my texts, and I know that she is a good girl. For Example: Today I was planning to gather with very good friends of us, I texted her saying that "can you join us at that restaurant tonight?" but she didn't reply at all, while yesterday she texted me about "what about a brunch on friday?". Another Example, I texted her after I helped her in a social problem asked her "Do you feel better now after what happened and etc ?" the next few days she said I didn't receive anything. also After week I texted her for a gathering and she replied a bit late. I tried to discuss this issue with people online and specially with those I met today at the restaurant, it appeared that many people suffer from this negative feeling after texting, which is better the not replying. Also I she complains sometimes about her mobile (BlackBerry) for being not good, I even noticed her telling someone on facebook "If I only can get my mobile work properly". So what do you think the problem is? Do you think its normal? Do you think I am sensitive (Many people say that I am sensitive? please tell me anything this girl is my best friend :) Thank you in advance :)
Singles & Dating - 8 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Quit being such a pussy. Best regards, Nigel.
2 :
just chill out and stop trippin it's not cool. take a pill and everything will be ok, i promise =)
3 :
yeah grow a pair!
4 :
well if u LIKE her go after her, if not u can just stay at the position that u r at
5 :
She is just busy or has other things to do. I would agree that you are a bit sensitive. Try to chill and stay calm. I understand she is your best friend, but maybe she needs a little space.
6 :
no your just fine. you just need to relax take a breather and chill. she might just be busy is all. im the same way as you. i txt this guy i like all the time. sometimes he's too busy. sometimes he's not. either way i get excited. you know you can try waiting for her txt. then when she txts you. you wait for like 30 mins. if she txts again within that time she cares. hope i helped :)
7 :
obviously her phone service sucks
8 :
Well buddy, I'm no girl. I don't see how a crappy texting history can determine if your sensitive... It just shows that something is not coming through right. If you like the girl, and she likes you. You should ask her out, If your not in a previous relationship. But I'm sure your sensitive. If you want to know if you are.. Just pay attention to how you act. If you cry at a sad movie, then most likely. If you laugh at something important to others, then I would guess not. If you want to know if your too sensitive, well.. Thats for you to decide. I won't hurt people, So I'm called sensitive, but I'm in a happy relationship being who I am. Being sensitive is just how emotional you are, and how much you care for things. Its really judged by you. I'm sure you are, You sound nice. And Inviting her to things and being kind to her will show her that your nice and some what sensitive. But over all. I would say your a nice mix of not to sensitive, but not sensitive at all.
Read more other entries :
Monday, January 28, 2013
Looks like I'm losing this girl what should I do?
Looks like I'm losing this girl what should I do?
Girl I been talking to 3 months. We got on so good, but about a month ago she told me she didn't want a boyfriend but then she still kept flirting with me and still contacted me. We have got on very well and feel like bf/gf....we just laugh so much. When she looks at me her eyes are warm, she has a great time. I checked her Facebook mobile uploads and there is a pic of her hugging this guy, while her friend is taking the snap from her car. The guy has been messaging her FB flirty things, and she messages him back putting kisses and stuff. She does that with some guys but with him it seems more warm. It looked to romantic. His arms around her waist and hers around his neck. Not good. Last monday night we discussed possible doing something the next day although she was busy. I called the txt her the next day and she didn't respond. Then she txt me last Wednesday asking me if I was working. I gave her sweet txt in the evening and she responded and asked again if I was working for Thursday. My managers messed up my times so I never got to work with her. 5 days she didn't answer my calls. On friday I went to speak to her on facebook chat and she logged of right away. WTF! I log back on and she was on and went again. Today she was on the chat never logged out but never said anything. In person our chemistry is amazing. I managed to speak to her today and told her how I felt, I told her she is someone I would introduce to my family and I think we have a connection. She told me she doesn't know what she wants right now or who she wants to be with. She said she doesn't want anyone(me) to feel she is theirs, and act funny when she speaks to people. She says lots of guys ask her out and they want something serious but she isn't ready. After I mentioned it she reluctantly agreed with me we have a connection. I joked with her saying I worked hard at my job and need a reward she goes "go and get one then" I said "I don't need to go far" :S I said I'm bringing this up because we got to know eachother so we shouldn't let it go. She says "I'm not, but we didn't see eachother that much and this is only early" she said "if I have a relationship now it won't last long trust me" I felt like I was talking about it too deep about it and I told her "It could be a month or 2 or 3. Maybe you will be ready" she was like "yeaaaa I dunno" She felt awkward but we haven't had a chat about us in 4 weeks. She even put the phone down and when I called back said something happpened with her phone. She agreed to go to work with me on Thursday. What should I do? she is normally upbeat, but said she was stressed, she thinks single is boring but doesn't want a relationship. It's like 11 weeks of being an unoffical couple meant nothing.
Singles & Dating - 3 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
She probably just wants a no strings attached relationship and obviously doesn't want to settle down yet. If that isn't what you want them you'll have to find somebody else or just wait until she's ready for that kind of a relationship.
2 :
Sorry, but she's just not that into you. Simple, if a girl wants someone she will go out and get them. She is keeping her options open with all these other men, and knows exactly what she's doing. Forget about her.
3 :
Please get the hint. She does not want to hurt your feelings but your persistence is making her have to put you off. Unfortunately your 11 weeks as an unofficial couple did not mean to her what it has to you.
Read more other entries :
Girl I been talking to 3 months. We got on so good, but about a month ago she told me she didn't want a boyfriend but then she still kept flirting with me and still contacted me. We have got on very well and feel like bf/gf....we just laugh so much. When she looks at me her eyes are warm, she has a great time. I checked her Facebook mobile uploads and there is a pic of her hugging this guy, while her friend is taking the snap from her car. The guy has been messaging her FB flirty things, and she messages him back putting kisses and stuff. She does that with some guys but with him it seems more warm. It looked to romantic. His arms around her waist and hers around his neck. Not good. Last monday night we discussed possible doing something the next day although she was busy. I called the txt her the next day and she didn't respond. Then she txt me last Wednesday asking me if I was working. I gave her sweet txt in the evening and she responded and asked again if I was working for Thursday. My managers messed up my times so I never got to work with her. 5 days she didn't answer my calls. On friday I went to speak to her on facebook chat and she logged of right away. WTF! I log back on and she was on and went again. Today she was on the chat never logged out but never said anything. In person our chemistry is amazing. I managed to speak to her today and told her how I felt, I told her she is someone I would introduce to my family and I think we have a connection. She told me she doesn't know what she wants right now or who she wants to be with. She said she doesn't want anyone(me) to feel she is theirs, and act funny when she speaks to people. She says lots of guys ask her out and they want something serious but she isn't ready. After I mentioned it she reluctantly agreed with me we have a connection. I joked with her saying I worked hard at my job and need a reward she goes "go and get one then" I said "I don't need to go far" :S I said I'm bringing this up because we got to know eachother so we shouldn't let it go. She says "I'm not, but we didn't see eachother that much and this is only early" she said "if I have a relationship now it won't last long trust me" I felt like I was talking about it too deep about it and I told her "It could be a month or 2 or 3. Maybe you will be ready" she was like "yeaaaa I dunno" She felt awkward but we haven't had a chat about us in 4 weeks. She even put the phone down and when I called back said something happpened with her phone. She agreed to go to work with me on Thursday. What should I do? she is normally upbeat, but said she was stressed, she thinks single is boring but doesn't want a relationship. It's like 11 weeks of being an unoffical couple meant nothing.
Singles & Dating - 3 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
She probably just wants a no strings attached relationship and obviously doesn't want to settle down yet. If that isn't what you want them you'll have to find somebody else or just wait until she's ready for that kind of a relationship.
2 :
Sorry, but she's just not that into you. Simple, if a girl wants someone she will go out and get them. She is keeping her options open with all these other men, and knows exactly what she's doing. Forget about her.
3 :
Please get the hint. She does not want to hurt your feelings but your persistence is making her have to put you off. Unfortunately your 11 weeks as an unofficial couple did not mean to her what it has to you.
Read more other entries :
Monday, January 14, 2013
When can I call Police to have children court ordered back to me after he has broken custody papers?
When can I call Police to have children court ordered back to me after he has broken custody papers?
I'm going to make a very long story short. In 2007, the judge completely reversed custody and I became the Sole Physical custodial parent. One of the reasons he lost them was not letting me have contact with my children. My phone calls were put on speakerphone and if i even started to raise my voice, he would say you aren't being nice to me so you can't talk to them now and he would hang up. So judge didn't like ALOT of things that he had done since 1st custody hearing in 1999. I will also state that he has played mind games with my children for yrs! Anything from telling them that I was not allowed to take them outside of their house to discussing child support and lying to them and say that I did not pay it. Since he lost custody he has went 4 years not excercising his visitation. He was never consistent in calling them and even went 6 mos one time not calling them. He has not sent bday or xmas presents in 4 yrs as well, not even a card. I have kept letters that my daughters had written to him.... yelling at him for not calling. I even have the email where he tells them that they chose to live with me and that hurt him very very bad and that is why he doesn't call them all the time. Present time he came to the state of Iowa to excercise his visitation and tells me he is taking them back to AZ and will bring them back before school starts. I will not tell you who paid for his visitation but I will say he also has not paid a dime of child support in 4 yrs so he had the money to do this before. He sends his wife and my sister come to pick them up. They left 6TH of July and it is agreed that they are home by Aug 14th. I write on 3 different papers this information and their medical release authorization then I have all 3 of us sign it and each take copy. I thought that I had covered all bases, and i never thought that they would actually break custodial papers. My children are in az for 3 days and it starts. They are being coached on what to say...you can even hear the whispering. They also refuse to let my sister see the kids, and his wife says she never signed anyting. My phone calls are being put on speakerphone and when they are on facebook.....one of them is sitting right there watching everything. I start hearing that my mom is getting them a lawyer and we are going back to court. His wife even lies to me about their whereabouts, so they could go visit my mom which i at this point forbid and have that cities police ready if kids are with my mom. This goes on now for a month. I do not have the money to go down there and get my kids and was reassured that i had nothing to worry about. It is Aug 7th now and they still have not given my a return itinery, matter of fact my children are still saying to their friends that they are living in AZ now....cuz their dad said. He also gave my mother permission to take them to CA without my permission. When I sent the cops to his house to do a well child check up. The officer did not even ask for any paperwork and took his word. I will also point out that the police did not call me back either. When he 1st broke our written agreement I called cops....that piece of paper would not stand up in court. Basically I have been told that unless I go down to AZ there is nothing I can do. I tried to say that the custody papers is a court order and that they woud be enforcing a court order. My custody papers state that I have Sole Physical Custody with him having long distance visitation rights pursuant to "The Mohave County Custody & Visitation Guidelines." I would also like to point out that in those papers the judge also states that "clearly father has a problem with mothers contact with children" So children aresupposed to be home in a week and I have heard nothing. If he is planning on keeping children can I somehow have my children court ordered back to iowa??? I have been panicked for a month now! But when can i call the police and say he is clearly not planning on having my children back go get them??? I need advice on this. Custody court took place in AZ and was told that AZ had jurisdiction. Also I tried to contact legal aid, I was told they could not help me because there was a conflict of interest. So either he went to them for advice and services, but he doesn't have a lawyer. I'm sure if he had lawyer he wouldn't be breaking custody/visitation. What do i do? How do i get my kids back in iowa ASAP??????
Marriage & Divorce - 2 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
See the links below. They helped me a lot when I was going through similar problems. The Dads House Forum is for men and women who experience the unfairness of child custody issues. The Law Guru Site is a great source for FREE legal advice. You need an attorney. Reference this site for free legal advice. I ran across this site when I was looking for legal advice. It is free and has real / licensed lawyers. Don’t forget, lawyers will meet with you for an initial meeting for free. Also, nowadays, many lawyers will make arrangements with you for payments on a weekly, bi-weekly basis. Don’t forget, licensed professionals, like everyone else, are having a hard time making ends meet. They are willing to work with you. Just get out your telephone book and start calling them (if you don’t want to check out the site). Peace. ☺♥☻
2 :
Nothing will beat the hands on approach. Get a second job..and the money you make from that use to get you're behind down there to get you're kids.
Read more other entries :
I'm going to make a very long story short. In 2007, the judge completely reversed custody and I became the Sole Physical custodial parent. One of the reasons he lost them was not letting me have contact with my children. My phone calls were put on speakerphone and if i even started to raise my voice, he would say you aren't being nice to me so you can't talk to them now and he would hang up. So judge didn't like ALOT of things that he had done since 1st custody hearing in 1999. I will also state that he has played mind games with my children for yrs! Anything from telling them that I was not allowed to take them outside of their house to discussing child support and lying to them and say that I did not pay it. Since he lost custody he has went 4 years not excercising his visitation. He was never consistent in calling them and even went 6 mos one time not calling them. He has not sent bday or xmas presents in 4 yrs as well, not even a card. I have kept letters that my daughters had written to him.... yelling at him for not calling. I even have the email where he tells them that they chose to live with me and that hurt him very very bad and that is why he doesn't call them all the time. Present time he came to the state of Iowa to excercise his visitation and tells me he is taking them back to AZ and will bring them back before school starts. I will not tell you who paid for his visitation but I will say he also has not paid a dime of child support in 4 yrs so he had the money to do this before. He sends his wife and my sister come to pick them up. They left 6TH of July and it is agreed that they are home by Aug 14th. I write on 3 different papers this information and their medical release authorization then I have all 3 of us sign it and each take copy. I thought that I had covered all bases, and i never thought that they would actually break custodial papers. My children are in az for 3 days and it starts. They are being coached on what to say...you can even hear the whispering. They also refuse to let my sister see the kids, and his wife says she never signed anyting. My phone calls are being put on speakerphone and when they are on facebook.....one of them is sitting right there watching everything. I start hearing that my mom is getting them a lawyer and we are going back to court. His wife even lies to me about their whereabouts, so they could go visit my mom which i at this point forbid and have that cities police ready if kids are with my mom. This goes on now for a month. I do not have the money to go down there and get my kids and was reassured that i had nothing to worry about. It is Aug 7th now and they still have not given my a return itinery, matter of fact my children are still saying to their friends that they are living in AZ now....cuz their dad said. He also gave my mother permission to take them to CA without my permission. When I sent the cops to his house to do a well child check up. The officer did not even ask for any paperwork and took his word. I will also point out that the police did not call me back either. When he 1st broke our written agreement I called cops....that piece of paper would not stand up in court. Basically I have been told that unless I go down to AZ there is nothing I can do. I tried to say that the custody papers is a court order and that they woud be enforcing a court order. My custody papers state that I have Sole Physical Custody with him having long distance visitation rights pursuant to "The Mohave County Custody & Visitation Guidelines." I would also like to point out that in those papers the judge also states that "clearly father has a problem with mothers contact with children" So children aresupposed to be home in a week and I have heard nothing. If he is planning on keeping children can I somehow have my children court ordered back to iowa??? I have been panicked for a month now! But when can i call the police and say he is clearly not planning on having my children back go get them??? I need advice on this. Custody court took place in AZ and was told that AZ had jurisdiction. Also I tried to contact legal aid, I was told they could not help me because there was a conflict of interest. So either he went to them for advice and services, but he doesn't have a lawyer. I'm sure if he had lawyer he wouldn't be breaking custody/visitation. What do i do? How do i get my kids back in iowa ASAP??????
Marriage & Divorce - 2 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
See the links below. They helped me a lot when I was going through similar problems. The Dads House Forum is for men and women who experience the unfairness of child custody issues. The Law Guru Site is a great source for FREE legal advice. You need an attorney. Reference this site for free legal advice. I ran across this site when I was looking for legal advice. It is free and has real / licensed lawyers. Don’t forget, lawyers will meet with you for an initial meeting for free. Also, nowadays, many lawyers will make arrangements with you for payments on a weekly, bi-weekly basis. Don’t forget, licensed professionals, like everyone else, are having a hard time making ends meet. They are willing to work with you. Just get out your telephone book and start calling them (if you don’t want to check out the site). Peace. ☺♥☻
2 :
Nothing will beat the hands on approach. Get a second job..and the money you make from that use to get you're behind down there to get you're kids.
Read more other entries :
Monday, January 7, 2013
need motivation and people's opinion?
need motivation and people's opinion?
okay,this may be long but I hope someone can help. So I'm a community college student and I am on this "crossroad" dilemma. I apply to transfer to a 4 year university in California after being at a community college for 3 years. I am already got in to 1 and I'm on my last 2 weeks waiting for 4 more admission decisions. As I wait for these decisions, I have been thinking about my life within the last 3 years after high school graduation. The last 3 years have been weird. What happen is that i live a sort of uncommon life in comparison to my friends to my friends and peers. I dedicate myself to my studies these days that I happen to become a loner. I rarely go out with friends anymore. And some of group of friends that I kind of wish I could spend more time have a flaw: they're friends with an ex-girlfriend of mine. I have low paying job since I want to get a car but the only problem is I only work once a week and finding a better paying job are away and definitely need a car. Almost all my peers have cars and they're enjoying the heck out of their lives. From my observation is that I feel that I'm missing out the fun in my early 20's. First of all, my closest friends don't go to college and they work. So I can't discuss school related stuff as often. Plus,they're into video games, which I'm not. Another draw back is that those who do go to school (community college or university) are not majoring in science so I feel the weird one. I love science because of the fact that while its difficult,I'm actually learning stuff. Not to criticize liberal art majors but the harder courses make you think "outside the box" like in calculus or chemistry (funny thing though is that I need some psychological help in my question;irony,lol!). Anyways, the biggest problem I have is when people ask me why I don't have a girlfriend. Now, I have dated about once or twice but at those times, I just felt uncomfortable being with another person. I just didn't felt in the mood of a relationship; I didn't have feelings for that person. So it bugs me when some of my friends (guy or girl) ask me why I'm not in one. For me, I feel that I want to transfer out to a good school because I don't want to work in low paying job as I am right now;I really care about education and it saddens me that some just view it as a chore or something. But while my friends respect my decision, my ex-girlfriends ask me the same question. At this point, I am like "wth???why do you care?". What happen is that I use to try to get her back with me for 2 years after she broke up with me. So I decided that once she was in college,I will never ever talk to her again (in person). We have always been friends online since we broke up but we have added and deleted each other several times. The last time she deleted me, I decided I will not be Mr. Nice Guy anymore. She added me again in December but I vow not to chat her on facebook. She has always started the conversation the few times I spoke to her in Fb. But the last 2 times she kept mentioning "her man" and that she was serious about him and she was going to drop out of college for him (her current boyfriend is about to graduate next year and they plan to come back to California since she is at Iowa). And while I could care less now, yesterday she ask about "any lucky gals out there for me?" after she had mention her bf many times before. It feels she is rubbing it in my face because she knows I was in deep love for her 3 years ago. So in essence,I am asking what should I do about my life as I go on with my life.Should I work hard to get a car(I don't think I need a car since I plan to dorm when I transfer)?What should I do with my closest friends(should I try to be into video games because that's like the one thing they're super into)?what should I do with my ex-girlfriend(I wanted to delete her on Facebook but I want to show that I'm stronger than her and that I have move on. Seriously, I feel like I'm competing against her. I don't care about relationships right now because I have not gotten that feeling to be someone yet.EEERRR,but I want to show that the day she left me was her biggest mistake(btw,the break up was on 2008)). I can wait to transfer out so I can finally meet some people with the same interest like me and possibly find a good girl that cares about me.
Singles & Dating - 1 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
It's a long read. First, don't look back. Stop thinking about the past three years. Instead focus on the next three years. About your friends: If your friends have different interests than yours, then try to look for new friends that shares the same interest as you are. Remember, birds of a same feather flocks together, so it's understandable that you will not be compelled to stick with your old friends. About your ex-girlfriend: Move on. Meet someone else. The easiest way to get him out of your mind is to meet someone else. About motivation: Set a goal. If you think you need to get a car to get yourself motivated, then do it. Don't let yourself get distracted by things. I recommend reading the link below to get you more motivated.
Read more other entries :
okay,this may be long but I hope someone can help. So I'm a community college student and I am on this "crossroad" dilemma. I apply to transfer to a 4 year university in California after being at a community college for 3 years. I am already got in to 1 and I'm on my last 2 weeks waiting for 4 more admission decisions. As I wait for these decisions, I have been thinking about my life within the last 3 years after high school graduation. The last 3 years have been weird. What happen is that i live a sort of uncommon life in comparison to my friends to my friends and peers. I dedicate myself to my studies these days that I happen to become a loner. I rarely go out with friends anymore. And some of group of friends that I kind of wish I could spend more time have a flaw: they're friends with an ex-girlfriend of mine. I have low paying job since I want to get a car but the only problem is I only work once a week and finding a better paying job are away and definitely need a car. Almost all my peers have cars and they're enjoying the heck out of their lives. From my observation is that I feel that I'm missing out the fun in my early 20's. First of all, my closest friends don't go to college and they work. So I can't discuss school related stuff as often. Plus,they're into video games, which I'm not. Another draw back is that those who do go to school (community college or university) are not majoring in science so I feel the weird one. I love science because of the fact that while its difficult,I'm actually learning stuff. Not to criticize liberal art majors but the harder courses make you think "outside the box" like in calculus or chemistry (funny thing though is that I need some psychological help in my question;irony,lol!). Anyways, the biggest problem I have is when people ask me why I don't have a girlfriend. Now, I have dated about once or twice but at those times, I just felt uncomfortable being with another person. I just didn't felt in the mood of a relationship; I didn't have feelings for that person. So it bugs me when some of my friends (guy or girl) ask me why I'm not in one. For me, I feel that I want to transfer out to a good school because I don't want to work in low paying job as I am right now;I really care about education and it saddens me that some just view it as a chore or something. But while my friends respect my decision, my ex-girlfriends ask me the same question. At this point, I am like "wth???why do you care?". What happen is that I use to try to get her back with me for 2 years after she broke up with me. So I decided that once she was in college,I will never ever talk to her again (in person). We have always been friends online since we broke up but we have added and deleted each other several times. The last time she deleted me, I decided I will not be Mr. Nice Guy anymore. She added me again in December but I vow not to chat her on facebook. She has always started the conversation the few times I spoke to her in Fb. But the last 2 times she kept mentioning "her man" and that she was serious about him and she was going to drop out of college for him (her current boyfriend is about to graduate next year and they plan to come back to California since she is at Iowa). And while I could care less now, yesterday she ask about "any lucky gals out there for me?" after she had mention her bf many times before. It feels she is rubbing it in my face because she knows I was in deep love for her 3 years ago. So in essence,I am asking what should I do about my life as I go on with my life.Should I work hard to get a car(I don't think I need a car since I plan to dorm when I transfer)?What should I do with my closest friends(should I try to be into video games because that's like the one thing they're super into)?what should I do with my ex-girlfriend(I wanted to delete her on Facebook but I want to show that I'm stronger than her and that I have move on. Seriously, I feel like I'm competing against her. I don't care about relationships right now because I have not gotten that feeling to be someone yet.EEERRR,but I want to show that the day she left me was her biggest mistake(btw,the break up was on 2008)). I can wait to transfer out so I can finally meet some people with the same interest like me and possibly find a good girl that cares about me.
Singles & Dating - 1 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
It's a long read. First, don't look back. Stop thinking about the past three years. Instead focus on the next three years. About your friends: If your friends have different interests than yours, then try to look for new friends that shares the same interest as you are. Remember, birds of a same feather flocks together, so it's understandable that you will not be compelled to stick with your old friends. About your ex-girlfriend: Move on. Meet someone else. The easiest way to get him out of your mind is to meet someone else. About motivation: Set a goal. If you think you need to get a car to get yourself motivated, then do it. Don't let yourself get distracted by things. I recommend reading the link below to get you more motivated.
Read more other entries :
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Is News 12 covering this up for yonkers?
Is News 12 covering this up for yonkers?
This is an article that was in lohud three weeks ago. News12 had extensive coverage of the shooting in 2006, yet this article portrays a potential coverup by Yonkers police and high up officals and yet no coverage whatsoever by News12? Is news 12 in the City of Yonkers pocket that there has been absolutely no coverage of this?? Ex-Yonkers peace officer says he was fired for saying partner was suicidal By Ernie Garcia • elgarcia@lohud.com • December 9, 2009 •Comments (3) •Recommend •Print this page •E-mail this article •Share •Del.icio.us •Facebook •Digg •Reddit •Newsvine •Buzz up! •Twitter •Text Size: Normal | Large | Larger Next Page•1 •| 2Previous Page YONKERS — A former peace officer claims his supervisors fired him to try to cover up the fact he had expressed concern about a suicidal coworker who later shot his own wife and killed himself. In a federal civil rights lawsuit, Carl Amato, 51, of Yonkers claims that high-ranking Yonkers police officials created a hostile work environment, involuntarily committed him for psychiatric observation, linked him with illegal activity and then fired him after the death of his regular work partner Gerard Moray. Moray, 47, committed suicide on April 19, 2006, after shooting his wife, Angela, twice in their Cortlandt home. She survived. Amato alleges that prior to Moray's death, Moray told him he was depressed and planning the murder-suicide. In response, he took Moray's gun away from him and turned it in to the department, describing his concerns to a supervisor, John Bennett. A few days later, Moray returned to work with his weapon and confronted Amato for telling Bennett he was concerned Moray might be suicidal. In the Nov. 16 lawsuit, filed in U.S. District Court in White Plains, Amato claims that Yonkers Police Commissioner Edmund Hartnett and five other city officials attempted to conceal Amato's prior warnings about Moray by creating an onerous work environment. On Dec. 5, 2006, Amato, frustrated with his treatment, complained to co-workers that he was looking forward to "getting off this job," and someone subsequently reported that Amato was suicidal, his lawsuit says. Three days later, police officials confronted Amato about his co-worker's expression of concern, and he was forcibly taken to a hospital for observation. "Amato is not nuts," said Thomas G. Cascione, Amato's attorney. "They had him in a mental hospital and they found him perfectly lucid." Hartnett declined to comment on the matter on Thursday, citing his policy of not discussing ongoing litigation. Yonkers Corporation Counsel Frank Rubino said on Monday that he could not comment on the matter because the city has not yet been served with a copy of the suit. While Amato was in the hospital, Yonkers police raided his home and seized a gun collection that Cascione estimated is worth $100,000. Cascione said the police have not returned the collection. Amato is a gunsmith. Amato wants the court to reinstate him to his position with back pay and benefits, require the Yonkers police to return his gun collection and force the department to pay punitive money damages for civil rights violations, defamation and suffering. According to Yonkers' 2007 employee salary data, Amato was hired by the city on July 25, 1988, and his gross pay in 2007 was $101,148. The city fired him on Nov. 11, 2007 — only months before he could retire — after accusing him of failing to cooperate with a criminal investigation. Cascione said Amato was never charged with a crime in what was a police investigation into an illegal massage parlor. Amato was fired for refusing to give a statement without the presence of Cascione, who said he was unable to attend the interviews at the times set by police.
Media & Journalism - 1 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Probably a big cover up, I believe we never hear the total truth.
Read more other entries :
This is an article that was in lohud three weeks ago. News12 had extensive coverage of the shooting in 2006, yet this article portrays a potential coverup by Yonkers police and high up officals and yet no coverage whatsoever by News12? Is news 12 in the City of Yonkers pocket that there has been absolutely no coverage of this?? Ex-Yonkers peace officer says he was fired for saying partner was suicidal By Ernie Garcia • elgarcia@lohud.com • December 9, 2009 •Comments (3) •Recommend •Print this page •E-mail this article •Share •Del.icio.us •Facebook •Digg •Reddit •Newsvine •Buzz up! •Twitter •Text Size: Normal | Large | Larger Next Page•1 •| 2Previous Page YONKERS — A former peace officer claims his supervisors fired him to try to cover up the fact he had expressed concern about a suicidal coworker who later shot his own wife and killed himself. In a federal civil rights lawsuit, Carl Amato, 51, of Yonkers claims that high-ranking Yonkers police officials created a hostile work environment, involuntarily committed him for psychiatric observation, linked him with illegal activity and then fired him after the death of his regular work partner Gerard Moray. Moray, 47, committed suicide on April 19, 2006, after shooting his wife, Angela, twice in their Cortlandt home. She survived. Amato alleges that prior to Moray's death, Moray told him he was depressed and planning the murder-suicide. In response, he took Moray's gun away from him and turned it in to the department, describing his concerns to a supervisor, John Bennett. A few days later, Moray returned to work with his weapon and confronted Amato for telling Bennett he was concerned Moray might be suicidal. In the Nov. 16 lawsuit, filed in U.S. District Court in White Plains, Amato claims that Yonkers Police Commissioner Edmund Hartnett and five other city officials attempted to conceal Amato's prior warnings about Moray by creating an onerous work environment. On Dec. 5, 2006, Amato, frustrated with his treatment, complained to co-workers that he was looking forward to "getting off this job," and someone subsequently reported that Amato was suicidal, his lawsuit says. Three days later, police officials confronted Amato about his co-worker's expression of concern, and he was forcibly taken to a hospital for observation. "Amato is not nuts," said Thomas G. Cascione, Amato's attorney. "They had him in a mental hospital and they found him perfectly lucid." Hartnett declined to comment on the matter on Thursday, citing his policy of not discussing ongoing litigation. Yonkers Corporation Counsel Frank Rubino said on Monday that he could not comment on the matter because the city has not yet been served with a copy of the suit. While Amato was in the hospital, Yonkers police raided his home and seized a gun collection that Cascione estimated is worth $100,000. Cascione said the police have not returned the collection. Amato is a gunsmith. Amato wants the court to reinstate him to his position with back pay and benefits, require the Yonkers police to return his gun collection and force the department to pay punitive money damages for civil rights violations, defamation and suffering. According to Yonkers' 2007 employee salary data, Amato was hired by the city on July 25, 1988, and his gross pay in 2007 was $101,148. The city fired him on Nov. 11, 2007 — only months before he could retire — after accusing him of failing to cooperate with a criminal investigation. Cascione said Amato was never charged with a crime in what was a police investigation into an illegal massage parlor. Amato was fired for refusing to give a statement without the presence of Cascione, who said he was unable to attend the interviews at the times set by police.
Media & Journalism - 1 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Probably a big cover up, I believe we never hear the total truth.
Read more other entries :
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)