Please analyze my current situation (10 pts for the most complete, well thought out answer)?
So my ex boyfriend( who I’ll call Kevin) and I were together for a whole year. We celebrated our one-year anniversary the day before new years day. Things seemed so wonderful, but we were having certain issues that definitely needed to be addressed and resolved. We were going to work them out, we said how much we loved each other, etc. That day, he gave me a bracelet, read me a poem about how much he loved me, mentioned things we should do together in the future, etc. I know his parents had issues with me and he was somewhat influenced by them. They are very intense and get overly involved. But anyway Kevin loved me. So on New Years day after that entire day we spent together, i thought he was going to come to my house so we can discuss the problems. Instead he confusingly breaks up with me. It was pretty nasty... Later that night he said on the phone that he honestly thinks we’re just better off as friends. But since then he’s been avoiding me in school. It’s so awkward and uncomfortable if we walk past each other. I’ve waved politely, but he pretends not to see me. So a couple weeks after the break up, I visited my grandparents in Florida, which was a great getaway. I also visited my great friend Peter from my sleepaway camp. We had a thing one summer but it didn’t go that far and we’re just great friends now and both cool. So anyway I took so many pictures with him (arm-in-arm, hugging, etc. and posted them on facebook). We’re just best friends hugging, but I thought Kevin might get the wrong impression. By the way I removed my relationship status after the break up. The next day I noticed that Kevin removed me as a friend, and put that he’s in a relationship with one of his best friends Rachel. Rachel is very vulnerable and will say yes to pretty much anyone. However, Kevin has never been attracted to her and she is totally not his type like that. We haven’t really spoke since New Years day, and things just feel so uncomfortable when I see him in school. I don’t get it! He says he loves me, then he doesn’t, then he wants to be friends, now he’s shutting me out completely?!?!?! Please analyze my current situation bc I just have no closure and it’s been really difficult. Please don’t just say I need to move on bc I know I do. I’m making progress as time goes on. We’re both 16 by the way.
Singles & Dating - 3 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
i'm going through a break up too so i know where you're coming from. chances are he saw the pictures of you being close with that guy and got jealous. i think he still loves you and is just trying to get back at you so he got a new girlfriend. he's definitely not over you. he probably meant what he said when he said he wanted to be friends but found that in reality it's much more difficult than it seems. i think you should talk to him about it. just ask what's going on with him getting a new gf and just a couple weeks earlier he proclaimed his love for you. i think he still does love you and his parents are just getting to him. i think you should talk it out.
2 :
First of all I want to say I'm sorry you're going through that...You said things were wonderful, then basically out of nowhere he breaks up with you, and that he was influenced by his parents. Maybe he talked to his parents about the problems you guys were having and since his parents had issues with you, they might have told him to break up with you or something along those lines. And him seeing the pictures on facebook he probably thought you moved on already and it probably made him sad or upset so he removed you as a friend. He might be using Rachel as a rebound girl to try and get over you. But after you guys were together for a year, I doubt that he would be over you that fast. I'm sure he still has feelings for you, he just doesn't know what to do or doesn't know how to tell you whats going on with him. Maybe you can ask a mutual friend about why he did that since he's not talking to you. Either way, I hope things work out for you and you at least get SOME closure. Good luck hun!
3 :
From my perspective of the situation it sounds like you two definitely need to talk. I don't know why he broke up with you, but if it bothers you this its something to find out. Ask him if you can talk to him alone. Try not to make it too much of an oppressive setting. Try somewhere open and airy so he doesn't feel trapped or interrogated. When you talk to him, even when you ask to talk to him, make sure you're asking and not demanding the questions be answered. Stay calm and try not to get emotional if you can help it. Crying or getting angry might push him away. Now you mentioned that the girl Rachel is one of his best friends? If they're that close its probably because they have compatible personalities. You say you don't think she's his type but maybe they really hit it off. Its hard to admit but we don't always know everything about the people we love. Also people change. Lastly, If he offers you a reason after you talk you may have to just accept it. You can tell him you don't understand and ask for further explanation. You don't want to go much farther than that though. You have to let him go. Try to salvage a friendship from this situation. I don't necessarily mean "move on" but maybe if he has enough space to move around he can move back to you. Hope this helps. Good luck and use your intuition.
Read more other entries :
