Should I return to my wife, reconcile with my first love or commit to my current girlfriend?
I swear on everything that I'm not trolling. I am in love with my wife, my ex-girlfriend(first love) and my current girlfriend. I'm 40 years old and I feel like a stupid teenage boy for doing this to them because they are all amazing women. All of whom I have a child with or expecting a child with. So, I have to make a choice and I'd appreciate some advice and opinions. I met and fell in love with Rachel while we were in college and we dated steadily for over three years(1988-1991). I was just beginning to shed my "nerd" image after high school and Rachel became my first love when I got into college. We lost our virginity together and everything. During my fourth year in college in 1991, I had to spend four months in Europe studying abroad. Rachel and I had a big argument before I left for Europe but we didn't exactly breakup. While I was in Europe, I met Jenny. Although I've never seen her around campus, she was also studying abroad and she was attending the same college as Rachel and me. Jenny and I started studying together and then dating and then falling in love. The closer I got to Jenny, the farther apart I got from Rachel. When I returned to Florida, I told Rachel that I fell for someone else so we broke up and it broke her heart. Jenny and I stayed together, finished college, got married in 1996, had our daughter Tammi in 1999 and our son Damien in 2001. Jenny and I had a great marriage and I NEVER cheated until last year. Rachel and I reunited via Facebook in March 2009 through a mutual former classmate. She's divorced and she has a son around my kids' age; her ex-husband was an abusive jerk. Sparks started flying again, we met up in person and I proceeded to have an affair with Rachel while married to Jennifer. I still love Rachel but I had no plans on leaving Jenny. Rachel feels no remorse about dating me because she feels as though Jenny "robbed" her of what she could have had with me. True. In college, Jennifer did tell me to make a choice between her and Rachel and I chose Jennifer. So, I guess Rachel is still bitter after all these years. After two months of reconnecting with Rachel, Jenny found out about her. She was hurt and she told me to leave. So, I moved out in May 2009 but we still remained legally married. Although I continue to sleep with Rachel, I wasn't ready to commit myself to her because I was still sad about separating from Jenny. Even when Rachel got pregnant and gave birth to our daughter Destiny in April 2010, I still didn't commit. In July 2009, I met Stephanie. She was single, beautiful, smart, funny and sweet. She's 13 years my junior but she's VERY mature. Stephanie and I have been dating ever since then and we moved in together five months ago. I'm really in love with Stephanie and she's 3 months pregnant now. I'm going to admit that ever since Jenny and I separated, we would occasionally spend the night together, have sex and sometimes discuss reconciling. Just like I'm in a relationship with Stephanie, Jenny has a boyfriend of her own. Now, Jennifer is sick of "playing games" with me, she told me if I want to give our marriage another chance she will dump her boyfriend Andrew and I'll have to dump Stephanie pregnant or not. Or else, she's staying with Andrew, I'm staying with Stephanie and we're getting a divorce. It's a hard decision, especially with all these children involved. I'm in love with Jenny, our marriage was wonderful and it was that ONE mistake with Rachel that ruined it all. Not to mention, Jenny and I have two amazing kids who misses having both their parents together. I love Rachel with all my heart and I always looked back and felt bad about the way I betrayed her in college. So I do feel as though I owe her for that. I always wondered what would have happened if I married her instead. She NEVER would have wound up with such a monster for a husband. The more I look at the precious baby girl I have with Rachel it breaks me down and I cry. But I'm VERY happy with Stephanie and I love her so much. She's giving me my fourth child and I'm giving her her first. I'm sure she knows that I still have feelings for my wife but she has NO that I'm still seeing Rachel but she does know about our child. I don't want to keep doing this. Whichever one I choose, the other two will be hurt. What would you do if you were me?
Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgendered - 7 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Wow you just ruined a whole bunch of kids lives! Grow up and be with 1 woman!
2 :
If I were you, I would go get castrated because you are just one sex-hungry moron.
3 :
That is a predicament that's for sure. As a woman, I have to say tsk tsk to you for lying to all these women. However, it seems that a few of them have been just as sneaky. Honestly, I believe you have a fear of commitment, while at the same time you are a people pleaser. Stop it. Let's get down to brass tax. Imagine your happiest memory. What are you doing? Or think of what you do while you're alone, like dancing or singing. What one of those women would play along with you and support you in whatever you do? Don't think about the kids. They are important, but if you choose a woman just because of the children, they will sense it. Don't you think those kids deserve to have a male figure around that actually loves everyone in their family as much as they deserve? Sometimes leaving is the most selfless thing you can do. It might be a good idea to see a counselor or a psychologist to try to work through some of your feelings. I wish you the best of luck. Please don't treat these women like schoolgirls anymore. "He loves me, he loves me not," is just not a healthy way to start any relationship.
4 :
I don't think I read all of it, I am pretty sure I just skipped to the end and was completely confused by the ending and decided that it wasn't worth reading all of it to figure out how it started. Seriously I think you are an idiot for asking people what baby-mama you should be with. Obviously any girl you can't be completely honest with isn't one you can have a complete relationship with. While you are still able to play all of them, no choice will feel like the right choice. And once you make a choice, you will have to hurt the others involved. You have to figure out what you can do to make the news less sh*ty, so that you can stay in the lives of all the children you've cast into the world. That's probably more important than what woman you choose.
5 :
The only one you actually committed to was Jenny, your wife. You married her and you have children by her. Honor that commitment and the one you owe to your children. You owe Rachel nothing... a wife trumps a former girlfriend. Say you are sorry and good bye. Stephanie... she is a fool if she got hooked up with you knowing any of this. Adopt her child and raise it as your own if both women will agree. Either way, she is history now. You do have a responsibility to your child. Get a vasectomy. And vasectomy or no, in the future keep it in your pants if you are not at home. I don't know why you posted this in the GLTB section but jeez... and they say gays are promiscuous! It's time you had a real heart to heart talk with the man in the mirror and realize you are a man now, and you can't keep flitting from flower to flower.
6 :
Seriously? Scedule a vasectomy tomorrow.
7 :
Stay with Jenny...you said it yourself your IN love with her. Rachel is just a fantasy...and liek other people have said Stephanie is an idiot...and your an idiot for getting Rachel pregnant and Stephanie pregnant not even a year later. good job.
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