Husband issues-- what's really going on?
My husband has been acting very strange lately. We are actively trying to get pregnant. He is a physician so he has to work long hours, which I know stresses him out. The problem is, he is being very weird about things lately. The thing that set him off today was that I posted a link to a car I want to get (not realistic at the moment) on Facebook. I know I'm not getting a new car anytime soon, but I always do stuff like that on facebook-- it's fun to post things you like and all my friends do it. He got really mad about it and said that he wanted me to remove all of "his friends" from my facebook account because he didn't want them seeing things like that, which makes no sense to me. He also has been making me buy a lot of things lately. I own a store which hasn't made money yet (it's in it's first year) so I haven't been able to pay myself a salary yet. I make money by selling clothes and merchandise on ebay. Even though I do that, I still don't have much money personally. He will make me go spend $100 on groceries twice a week, plus pay both our cell phone bills and anything else I need to buy. The thing that makes me really upset is that he spends his own money frivolously on all sorts of stuff. He buys sports memorabilia, jetskis, home stereo equipment, a 70" TV, and other things like that. If I ever want to go shopping or anything, I have to use my own money. He never buys me anything "unnecessary". He never buys me birthday or anniversary gifts. I am just starting to feel like he doesn't really care and that I'm just the trophy wife. I really feel like I don't matter to him anymore, and he doesn't care about me as a person. He wants to have a baby as much as I do, but I feel like he just wants me to be the "birth mother". I am getting very depressed about it and don't know what to do. I know I may sound spoiled, but he's not being a proper husband. He doesn't pay any attention to me, interrupts me when I'm talking, and never lets me watch what I want to on tv. Everything in our house is the way he wants it and I have no say. If I move some furniture around, he'll make me move it back. I just don't know what to do or how to discuss this with him. He's a great guy when he pays attention to me, but it seems like he gets so wrapped up in his own life that he forgets that I have feelings too. It's true that he does pay MOST of the bills. He knows that I don't have the means to support myself fully, let alone chip in and help pay the mortgage. If I was making money, believe me, I would. I bought the store as an investment in OUR future, so that I would have an income. We do live separate lives. It's so frustrating to me because he sees no need to give me access to HIS bank account or HIS money. I know that he does pay for most things, but if I were a stay at home mom like my mom was, wouldn't he have to pay all of it? I just don't understand my life. Who said I married him for money? I don't need his money-- my parents have enough of it, I could have stayed with them. He was a different person when I married him.
Marriage & Divorce - 18 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
talk to him. who knows what's going through his brain.
2 :
talk to him about it and make him see.... what i have never been able to understand is why are you guys living "separate" lives when ur MARRIED? you guys should be paying bills together, go shopping together. there shoulnt be "his money" "your money". UR MARRIED and need to work together and make decisions.... and be supportive. so again i dont know how to help, i would just go talk to him, work on your marriage a little more before you have a child. you dont want to drag a kid in the combo if ur dealing with this kind of stuff.
3 :
whose paying your mortgage? your car? the important bill...he probably feels since he is putting a roof over your head then his deed is done. or like u should earn your own way. why would u try and get pegnant with someone who puts you down all the time and doesnt sound like he loves you? you sound like my grandma who is 85, miserable but a trophy wife. the facebook thing is wierd too he sounds controlling and possesive. doesnt he have sick patients to worry about? what a wierdo!!! I think you should communicate to him that you are not happy!
4 :
He doesn't see you as an equal which is not good. His reaction to the car thing was very immature. I have a long wish list that I know I will never get but it will never stop me from dreaming...he needs to grow up.
5 :
You must confront him. Talk back, complain, let him know how you feel about the relationship. Yes that might be risky but unless you take some risks the relationship will stagnate. Unless you are able to make him sit down and discuss some of the problems you have with him, nothing will change. This is how most marriages fail: one party fails to speak up. Do you really want him to determine your life? You must let him know what you expect. Check out my source and find out "How to Blow Your Top Safely."
6 :
Why did you marry him in the first place? Was it because he's a doctor? That's what you get when you marry for money. You should tell him you want to go to school and get a degree. That way, if the marriage ends, you'll have something to fall back on. I'm sure he could pay for schooling since it would help you make more money in the long run.
7 :
You need to tell him either he straighten his s.h.i.t out or you divorce him because you're not putting up with this crap.
8 :
i could not get past a grown women being on facebook interesting...and very telling
9 :
How long is "lately"? This guy is a classic control freak. Things are only going to get worse. If you aren't pregnant yet, then stop actively trying to get pregant. Get some BCPs if you have to. You are probably more right about just being the birth mother than you think. Make a plan, and then get out from this marriage. Control freaks gradually alienate you from your friends, family, and co-workers, until they are your only source of emotional support. Then they control you. Get out of this ASAP - otherwise, I can guarantee you'll wind up miserable.
10 :
wow this guy sounds like a dick, forget having ne kids with this asshole dump his ass and move on.
11 :
If you are NOT happy, DO NOT bring a child into the situation, try marital counseling and other resources, and if that works, great, but if it does not then it is time for a change. Please do not put a child in a situation of unhappiness, they do not ask to be born, and they do not deserve to be abused, or treated unfairly in any way. Tami Pepperman Victim/Child Advocate tamikay23@hotmail.com
12 :
get a journal , Works wonders in court! FOR EVERYTHING !!
13 :
let's be clear - people are what they are - they DO NOT CHANGE!! so if you don't like the way he is treating you and you have tried to explain it to him you have two choices - 1- accept him for what he is - selfish and self centered or 2- dump his butt
14 :
Seems controlling...I'm there not to the same extent but I"m there.
15 :
Yeah, he doesn't sound like a partner in a marriage does he. I would put the pregnancy plans on hold until he changes his ways. You could tell him that he needs to start being a true spouse or you will divorce him and take half of it all. And since you do not have any income, he will be paying you spousal support depending what state you live in. The majority of your marital assets(cash, cars, property, investements) should be in joint accounts and separate, equally funded individual accounts. He doesn't realize that half of everything he makes is yours does he? Make him understand that and things should start to change. If not, divorce papers and see what kind of tune he sings. You deserve better, he's holding you hostage via finances and is an abusive behavior. You're his wife! He needs to treat you as such.
16 :
You are just plain going to have to tell him you need to talk to him seriously, & set aside a specific day & time to do it. Don't let him wangle out of it, but it is necessary for you to have your say in just how you feel & what your feelings are. No, he is NOT treating you fairly from all you described. I mean come on, you live there too, you sure should at least have some say in where you at least want to move a piece of furniture! I'd tell him that at times, you wonder what you're even doing there, what good are you actually to him. He leads your very life & it seems like you cannot do anything w/o his approval. Even as far as telling you what to do on the computer. What does it matter what you put on it as long as you're not playing around or cheating on him. He should have no say in those ridiculous things he's nit picking on. I don't know what type practice he has, but if he keeps it up, he needs to go to a "head Dr." himself! You must talk to him & tell him how you at least feel about EVERYTHING. I'd even go as far as to tell him if he keeps putting you last in everything he does, that you're seriously thinking of going out on your own & finding someone who just might appreciate you more, someone who would at least treat you like a "normal" human being. You cannot keep being his personal puppet all your lives together. This is just not fair nor is it even normal. To be honest, I'd even think twice first about having this baby w/him. Is it just going to make matters better, or is it actually going to make matters worse! Give that one a good tho't too before you bring a child into the world & end up having a child suffer for it also. You've got to get these issues straightened out first before you have this child. You stated that he's a great guy when he pays attention to you, but just how often is that, or when is that?! You've got to lay all your cards out on the table & get things straightened out, & I wouldn't put it off. Now is the time. All the best to you...:)
17 :
Talk to him, and ask him why your buying everything when your in this relationship together. After all, you ARE both in this relationship. Partners have there fair share on money if they ARE fair. You could pay the cell phone bill for you, and buy the groceries on what you need rather than a set limit each week. And he could pay his cell phone bill, and pay the 2nd lot of shopping. I don't think your ready for a baby yet. I'd wait till the sea's less stormy. As in, your relationship isn't so rocky. You need to understand that having a baby won't heal this relationship, usually when adults have them through rough patches in a relationship, it makes it worse. Good luck!
18 :
People invest their money and time in things they care about. If he isnt investing either in you - then he isnt being the husband you will need if youhave a child together. Better tell him now - give him a chance to change. People can and do change -
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Saturday, September 14, 2013
Saturday, September 7, 2013
Please analyze my current situation (10 pts for the most complete, well thought out answer)?
Please analyze my current situation (10 pts for the most complete, well thought out answer)?
So my ex boyfriend( who I’ll call Kevin) and I were together for a whole year. We celebrated our one-year anniversary the day before new years day. Things seemed so wonderful, but we were having certain issues that definitely needed to be addressed and resolved. We were going to work them out, we said how much we loved each other, etc. That day, he gave me a bracelet, read me a poem about how much he loved me, mentioned things we should do together in the future, etc. I know his parents had issues with me and he was somewhat influenced by them. They are very intense and get overly involved. But anyway Kevin loved me. So on New Years day after that entire day we spent together, i thought he was going to come to my house so we can discuss the problems. Instead he confusingly breaks up with me. It was pretty nasty... Later that night he said on the phone that he honestly thinks we’re just better off as friends. But since then he’s been avoiding me in school. It’s so awkward and uncomfortable if we walk past each other. I’ve waved politely, but he pretends not to see me. So a couple weeks after the break up, I visited my grandparents in Florida, which was a great getaway. I also visited my great friend Peter from my sleepaway camp. We had a thing one summer but it didn’t go that far and we’re just great friends now and both cool. So anyway I took so many pictures with him (arm-in-arm, hugging, etc. and posted them on facebook). We’re just best friends hugging, but I thought Kevin might get the wrong impression. By the way I removed my relationship status after the break up. The next day I noticed that Kevin removed me as a friend, and put that he’s in a relationship with one of his best friends Rachel. Rachel is very vulnerable and will say yes to pretty much anyone. However, Kevin has never been attracted to her and she is totally not his type like that. We haven’t really spoke since New Years day, and things just feel so uncomfortable when I see him in school. I don’t get it! He says he loves me, then he doesn’t, then he wants to be friends, now he’s shutting me out completely?!?!?! Please analyze my current situation bc I just have no closure and it’s been really difficult. Please don’t just say I need to move on bc I know I do. I’m making progress as time goes on. We’re both 16 by the way.
Singles & Dating - 3 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
i'm going through a break up too so i know where you're coming from. chances are he saw the pictures of you being close with that guy and got jealous. i think he still loves you and is just trying to get back at you so he got a new girlfriend. he's definitely not over you. he probably meant what he said when he said he wanted to be friends but found that in reality it's much more difficult than it seems. i think you should talk to him about it. just ask what's going on with him getting a new gf and just a couple weeks earlier he proclaimed his love for you. i think he still does love you and his parents are just getting to him. i think you should talk it out.
2 :
First of all I want to say I'm sorry you're going through that...You said things were wonderful, then basically out of nowhere he breaks up with you, and that he was influenced by his parents. Maybe he talked to his parents about the problems you guys were having and since his parents had issues with you, they might have told him to break up with you or something along those lines. And him seeing the pictures on facebook he probably thought you moved on already and it probably made him sad or upset so he removed you as a friend. He might be using Rachel as a rebound girl to try and get over you. But after you guys were together for a year, I doubt that he would be over you that fast. I'm sure he still has feelings for you, he just doesn't know what to do or doesn't know how to tell you whats going on with him. Maybe you can ask a mutual friend about why he did that since he's not talking to you. Either way, I hope things work out for you and you at least get SOME closure. Good luck hun!
3 :
From my perspective of the situation it sounds like you two definitely need to talk. I don't know why he broke up with you, but if it bothers you this its something to find out. Ask him if you can talk to him alone. Try not to make it too much of an oppressive setting. Try somewhere open and airy so he doesn't feel trapped or interrogated. When you talk to him, even when you ask to talk to him, make sure you're asking and not demanding the questions be answered. Stay calm and try not to get emotional if you can help it. Crying or getting angry might push him away. Now you mentioned that the girl Rachel is one of his best friends? If they're that close its probably because they have compatible personalities. You say you don't think she's his type but maybe they really hit it off. Its hard to admit but we don't always know everything about the people we love. Also people change. Lastly, If he offers you a reason after you talk you may have to just accept it. You can tell him you don't understand and ask for further explanation. You don't want to go much farther than that though. You have to let him go. Try to salvage a friendship from this situation. I don't necessarily mean "move on" but maybe if he has enough space to move around he can move back to you. Hope this helps. Good luck and use your intuition.
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So my ex boyfriend( who I’ll call Kevin) and I were together for a whole year. We celebrated our one-year anniversary the day before new years day. Things seemed so wonderful, but we were having certain issues that definitely needed to be addressed and resolved. We were going to work them out, we said how much we loved each other, etc. That day, he gave me a bracelet, read me a poem about how much he loved me, mentioned things we should do together in the future, etc. I know his parents had issues with me and he was somewhat influenced by them. They are very intense and get overly involved. But anyway Kevin loved me. So on New Years day after that entire day we spent together, i thought he was going to come to my house so we can discuss the problems. Instead he confusingly breaks up with me. It was pretty nasty... Later that night he said on the phone that he honestly thinks we’re just better off as friends. But since then he’s been avoiding me in school. It’s so awkward and uncomfortable if we walk past each other. I’ve waved politely, but he pretends not to see me. So a couple weeks after the break up, I visited my grandparents in Florida, which was a great getaway. I also visited my great friend Peter from my sleepaway camp. We had a thing one summer but it didn’t go that far and we’re just great friends now and both cool. So anyway I took so many pictures with him (arm-in-arm, hugging, etc. and posted them on facebook). We’re just best friends hugging, but I thought Kevin might get the wrong impression. By the way I removed my relationship status after the break up. The next day I noticed that Kevin removed me as a friend, and put that he’s in a relationship with one of his best friends Rachel. Rachel is very vulnerable and will say yes to pretty much anyone. However, Kevin has never been attracted to her and she is totally not his type like that. We haven’t really spoke since New Years day, and things just feel so uncomfortable when I see him in school. I don’t get it! He says he loves me, then he doesn’t, then he wants to be friends, now he’s shutting me out completely?!?!?! Please analyze my current situation bc I just have no closure and it’s been really difficult. Please don’t just say I need to move on bc I know I do. I’m making progress as time goes on. We’re both 16 by the way.
Singles & Dating - 3 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
i'm going through a break up too so i know where you're coming from. chances are he saw the pictures of you being close with that guy and got jealous. i think he still loves you and is just trying to get back at you so he got a new girlfriend. he's definitely not over you. he probably meant what he said when he said he wanted to be friends but found that in reality it's much more difficult than it seems. i think you should talk to him about it. just ask what's going on with him getting a new gf and just a couple weeks earlier he proclaimed his love for you. i think he still does love you and his parents are just getting to him. i think you should talk it out.
2 :
First of all I want to say I'm sorry you're going through that...You said things were wonderful, then basically out of nowhere he breaks up with you, and that he was influenced by his parents. Maybe he talked to his parents about the problems you guys were having and since his parents had issues with you, they might have told him to break up with you or something along those lines. And him seeing the pictures on facebook he probably thought you moved on already and it probably made him sad or upset so he removed you as a friend. He might be using Rachel as a rebound girl to try and get over you. But after you guys were together for a year, I doubt that he would be over you that fast. I'm sure he still has feelings for you, he just doesn't know what to do or doesn't know how to tell you whats going on with him. Maybe you can ask a mutual friend about why he did that since he's not talking to you. Either way, I hope things work out for you and you at least get SOME closure. Good luck hun!
3 :
From my perspective of the situation it sounds like you two definitely need to talk. I don't know why he broke up with you, but if it bothers you this its something to find out. Ask him if you can talk to him alone. Try not to make it too much of an oppressive setting. Try somewhere open and airy so he doesn't feel trapped or interrogated. When you talk to him, even when you ask to talk to him, make sure you're asking and not demanding the questions be answered. Stay calm and try not to get emotional if you can help it. Crying or getting angry might push him away. Now you mentioned that the girl Rachel is one of his best friends? If they're that close its probably because they have compatible personalities. You say you don't think she's his type but maybe they really hit it off. Its hard to admit but we don't always know everything about the people we love. Also people change. Lastly, If he offers you a reason after you talk you may have to just accept it. You can tell him you don't understand and ask for further explanation. You don't want to go much farther than that though. You have to let him go. Try to salvage a friendship from this situation. I don't necessarily mean "move on" but maybe if he has enough space to move around he can move back to you. Hope this helps. Good luck and use your intuition.
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Sunday, September 1, 2013
Should I be concerned or am i being stupid?
Should I be concerned or am i being stupid?
i am going out with this one guy who i really really have feelings for. we've been going out for 2 weeks almost. one day we were talking about ex-girlfriends(which i clearly is not the best topic to discuss with a new bf) and the conversation went to whats the longest relationship you've been in and his reply was 3 months. so naturally in a total casual way i asked who it was. and he put her name with a smiley face and nothing else. i found it rather odd and on her facebook there is a couple pictures where hes commented on them saying stuff like "OMG YOUR GORGEOUS" and "I missss u so much!" he put these comments on before we were going out but i cant help but feel he still may have feelings for her. am i wrong and am i thinking into it too much? because when i brought up if he still had feelings for any past relationships he said no, but its not like i was really expecting a yes out of him. no im not going out of my way to stalk anyone and their pictures, the only reason why i noticed is because she was my friend too that i haven't seen in awhile and i was going to comment on one of her pictures and happened to see it. i don't want to bring it up again because ill feel noisy. what should i do? i don't know how to feel about this. but i cant help but feel a slight bit of jealousy. mind u, they went out almost 3 years ago but the comment were this year...
Friends - 6 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Sounds fishy, don't give him your all untill your sure you are his no 1
2 :
Of course he probably still has feelings for her. I will be honest, two weeks is not very much and it would be very natural and normal for him to still have feelings for other girls. He has not had enough time to devote all of those emotions to you yet. Be patient and let it go unless you think he is cheating. Eventually, he will grow to like you more or less and you will either get stronger or break up.
3 :
He's commented on her and how she looks. He's gotta still have feelings for her or be wouldn't have written that
4 :
Whoa @ the massive wall of text you got there. My bf is on his ex's facebook. All you needed was seven words. And yes you're being stupid.
5 :
As u know no guy can forget the ex of his life nor a girl can do. Waht u need to do is if he's a really genuine guy who has feeings fr u and devotes all his time to u then u go ahead :) give him a chance. AND please dont let ur past bother ur present, it can be worse. all the best to u both.
6 :
First of all facebook stalking is normal lol! I should know because my fiance taught me how. I love the girl I am with to death but like you if something is bothering me I will work to fix it. When I met her I noticed the same things and didnt say anything. After a month or two I said something casual about why I never comment on her pics "because it looks weird with me commenting after your ex bf". As soon as I mentioned that she deleted everything and now almost two years later we are going to ge married and she is the best thing ever. But..... Those pics and comments had to go.
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i am going out with this one guy who i really really have feelings for. we've been going out for 2 weeks almost. one day we were talking about ex-girlfriends(which i clearly is not the best topic to discuss with a new bf) and the conversation went to whats the longest relationship you've been in and his reply was 3 months. so naturally in a total casual way i asked who it was. and he put her name with a smiley face and nothing else. i found it rather odd and on her facebook there is a couple pictures where hes commented on them saying stuff like "OMG YOUR GORGEOUS" and "I missss u so much!" he put these comments on before we were going out but i cant help but feel he still may have feelings for her. am i wrong and am i thinking into it too much? because when i brought up if he still had feelings for any past relationships he said no, but its not like i was really expecting a yes out of him. no im not going out of my way to stalk anyone and their pictures, the only reason why i noticed is because she was my friend too that i haven't seen in awhile and i was going to comment on one of her pictures and happened to see it. i don't want to bring it up again because ill feel noisy. what should i do? i don't know how to feel about this. but i cant help but feel a slight bit of jealousy. mind u, they went out almost 3 years ago but the comment were this year...
Friends - 6 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Sounds fishy, don't give him your all untill your sure you are his no 1
2 :
Of course he probably still has feelings for her. I will be honest, two weeks is not very much and it would be very natural and normal for him to still have feelings for other girls. He has not had enough time to devote all of those emotions to you yet. Be patient and let it go unless you think he is cheating. Eventually, he will grow to like you more or less and you will either get stronger or break up.
3 :
He's commented on her and how she looks. He's gotta still have feelings for her or be wouldn't have written that
4 :
Whoa @ the massive wall of text you got there. My bf is on his ex's facebook. All you needed was seven words. And yes you're being stupid.
5 :
As u know no guy can forget the ex of his life nor a girl can do. Waht u need to do is if he's a really genuine guy who has feeings fr u and devotes all his time to u then u go ahead :) give him a chance. AND please dont let ur past bother ur present, it can be worse. all the best to u both.
6 :
First of all facebook stalking is normal lol! I should know because my fiance taught me how. I love the girl I am with to death but like you if something is bothering me I will work to fix it. When I met her I noticed the same things and didnt say anything. After a month or two I said something casual about why I never comment on her pics "because it looks weird with me commenting after your ex bf". As soon as I mentioned that she deleted everything and now almost two years later we are going to ge married and she is the best thing ever. But..... Those pics and comments had to go.
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Wednesday, August 28, 2013
Strange family situation, involving adoption and new family members!?
Strange family situation, involving adoption and new family members!?
My biological parents had drug problems, so bad that I was adopted by my paternal grandfather when I was 4. I never knew that my "dad" was my "grandfather" until I was about 12, because my "mom" freaked out and never let my other family members near me or know anything about me. After "dad" and "mom" were divorced when I was 13, I was able to meet my biological father, my half brother, my uncles, and my grandma on his side of the family. When I was 15, I met a ton of people on my mom's side: grandma, 2 half sisters, 3 aunts, 1 uncle and a bazillion cousins. My mom died when I was 7, which of course I knew nothing about. It turns out that my mom had been "at the wrong place at the wrong time" and was beaten and shot to death. There were a lot of strange circumstances with her death which leads my family to believe that it was an inside job, since there was a huge lack of police involvement and paperwork. At first they tried to pass it off as a suicide, but with the angle that the bullet entered her body it would've been impossible for her to kill herself. She had 3 autopsies done. It seems as if everyone has a different view on what happened with my adoption and mom's death. Some people know more than others, and some know details that are much different than the other stories I've heard. My biological dad has agreed to go with me to the court house.. my adoption documents have been sealed, and apparently I'm the only one that can access them. AND... today I got a friend request on facebook from one of my mom's cousins on her dad's side. I haven't met anyone from that side of her family yet and I talked to her online. She seems very nice and told me a few stories about my mom when she was younger. Questions: One of my sisters and I were talking about having our mom's case put on Cold Case Files or some other forensic show in case anyone has any information about her death. How can we do this, and how do we discuss it with other members of our family without upsetting them? How, other than reading my adoption information, can I figure out what really happened with my adoption? Any advice is appreciated.
Family - 1 Answers
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1 :
do what you think is right :-)
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My biological parents had drug problems, so bad that I was adopted by my paternal grandfather when I was 4. I never knew that my "dad" was my "grandfather" until I was about 12, because my "mom" freaked out and never let my other family members near me or know anything about me. After "dad" and "mom" were divorced when I was 13, I was able to meet my biological father, my half brother, my uncles, and my grandma on his side of the family. When I was 15, I met a ton of people on my mom's side: grandma, 2 half sisters, 3 aunts, 1 uncle and a bazillion cousins. My mom died when I was 7, which of course I knew nothing about. It turns out that my mom had been "at the wrong place at the wrong time" and was beaten and shot to death. There were a lot of strange circumstances with her death which leads my family to believe that it was an inside job, since there was a huge lack of police involvement and paperwork. At first they tried to pass it off as a suicide, but with the angle that the bullet entered her body it would've been impossible for her to kill herself. She had 3 autopsies done. It seems as if everyone has a different view on what happened with my adoption and mom's death. Some people know more than others, and some know details that are much different than the other stories I've heard. My biological dad has agreed to go with me to the court house.. my adoption documents have been sealed, and apparently I'm the only one that can access them. AND... today I got a friend request on facebook from one of my mom's cousins on her dad's side. I haven't met anyone from that side of her family yet and I talked to her online. She seems very nice and told me a few stories about my mom when she was younger. Questions: One of my sisters and I were talking about having our mom's case put on Cold Case Files or some other forensic show in case anyone has any information about her death. How can we do this, and how do we discuss it with other members of our family without upsetting them? How, other than reading my adoption information, can I figure out what really happened with my adoption? Any advice is appreciated.
Family - 1 Answers
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1 :
do what you think is right :-)
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Wednesday, August 14, 2013
Boyfriend vs. new guy friend/old crush?!?
Boyfriend vs. new guy friend/old crush?!?
I have a loving boyfriend of 5 years. last fall, we had a rocky time in our relationship because i started liking a guy from my school and i felt horribly guilty about it and ended up confessing it to my boyfriend. since then, he has had slight trust issues and made me delete that guy friend from my facebook and made me promise that i didn't like him anymore and wouldn't talk to him. so i had a really hard time because i still liked the other guy (even though i hardly knew him). i talked to him a few times last fall, but then i stopped and we didn't see each other for months. last week, the guy friend, after not talking to me/seeing me for months, came up to my boyfriend and i at an awards ceremony in which i won an award and this guy congratulated me! since last week, i haven't been able to stop thinking of him. i was completely obsessed with this guy, so i emailed him a few times, without my boyfriend knowing and today, i met up with this guy for coffee to discuss forming an extracurricular group together this fall at our school. now that i've gotten a chance to talk to him more, i don't feel like i have much of a crush on this guy anymore, but i still really want to be friends with him. however, i know my boyfriend would never understand because of how i felt about this other guy last year. i feel like i'd be missing out on a lot of experiences if i didn't become friends with this other guy, but i don't know what to do about my boyfriend. i love him, but i just wish he never knew about this other guy so i could openly be friends with him and not hide things from my boyfriend. i also feel like i want more independence and not to have to tell my boyfriend everything, to be able to be friends and hang out with anyone i want to. i need something to change soon. what should i do?
Friends - 1 Answers
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1 :
you have to figure this out one your own but im sure you'll make the right desition
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I have a loving boyfriend of 5 years. last fall, we had a rocky time in our relationship because i started liking a guy from my school and i felt horribly guilty about it and ended up confessing it to my boyfriend. since then, he has had slight trust issues and made me delete that guy friend from my facebook and made me promise that i didn't like him anymore and wouldn't talk to him. so i had a really hard time because i still liked the other guy (even though i hardly knew him). i talked to him a few times last fall, but then i stopped and we didn't see each other for months. last week, the guy friend, after not talking to me/seeing me for months, came up to my boyfriend and i at an awards ceremony in which i won an award and this guy congratulated me! since last week, i haven't been able to stop thinking of him. i was completely obsessed with this guy, so i emailed him a few times, without my boyfriend knowing and today, i met up with this guy for coffee to discuss forming an extracurricular group together this fall at our school. now that i've gotten a chance to talk to him more, i don't feel like i have much of a crush on this guy anymore, but i still really want to be friends with him. however, i know my boyfriend would never understand because of how i felt about this other guy last year. i feel like i'd be missing out on a lot of experiences if i didn't become friends with this other guy, but i don't know what to do about my boyfriend. i love him, but i just wish he never knew about this other guy so i could openly be friends with him and not hide things from my boyfriend. i also feel like i want more independence and not to have to tell my boyfriend everything, to be able to be friends and hang out with anyone i want to. i need something to change soon. what should i do?
Friends - 1 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
you have to figure this out one your own but im sure you'll make the right desition
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Wednesday, August 7, 2013
How can a person on facebook have their wall blocked to a specific person, yet some of the posts they make..?
How can a person on facebook have their wall blocked to a specific person, yet some of the posts they make..?
..still show up on that person's live feed? A little more clarification: I have an ex, who blocked her wall from me about 2 months ago, presumable because she has a new boyfriend and didn't want me to get my feelings hurt by seeing her discuss him. Totally fine. That being said, when she would comment on photos, or add friends, these would pop up in my feed from time to time, despite her wall being blocked. Again, no big deal. Then starting yesterday, I noticed that something she posted on her wall popped up in my feed, yet her wall is still blocked. And it happened again today. Wall is still blocked though. On a personal level,I don't really care that much, but I find it strange that this is happening. (And, it isn't just on my PC; these show up on my smartphone FB app as well.) Is it possible that this is some kind of extended glitch in the facebook system, or is there some way of selectively allowing wall posts to go through, perhaps "unblocking me" just to let one or two posts to go through, then re-instating the block? It doesn't bother me either way, but I haven't seen any precedent for it in any of the forums that I have looked through. Anyone who is a more prolific facebook-er care to comment?
Facebook - 1 Answers
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1 :
The only thing I can think of is that she just chose to block her wall, NOT her activity. This means you can see her comments, especially if they are to mutual friends. Good luck!
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..still show up on that person's live feed? A little more clarification: I have an ex, who blocked her wall from me about 2 months ago, presumable because she has a new boyfriend and didn't want me to get my feelings hurt by seeing her discuss him. Totally fine. That being said, when she would comment on photos, or add friends, these would pop up in my feed from time to time, despite her wall being blocked. Again, no big deal. Then starting yesterday, I noticed that something she posted on her wall popped up in my feed, yet her wall is still blocked. And it happened again today. Wall is still blocked though. On a personal level,I don't really care that much, but I find it strange that this is happening. (And, it isn't just on my PC; these show up on my smartphone FB app as well.) Is it possible that this is some kind of extended glitch in the facebook system, or is there some way of selectively allowing wall posts to go through, perhaps "unblocking me" just to let one or two posts to go through, then re-instating the block? It doesn't bother me either way, but I haven't seen any precedent for it in any of the forums that I have looked through. Anyone who is a more prolific facebook-er care to comment?
Facebook - 1 Answers
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1 :
The only thing I can think of is that she just chose to block her wall, NOT her activity. This means you can see her comments, especially if they are to mutual friends. Good luck!
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Thursday, August 1, 2013
Boyfriend and Facebook?
Boyfriend and Facebook?
Okay, so I haven't been with my new boyfriend for that long, but when we got together we agreed to change our relationship statuses on facebook to 'In a relationship with ___' Today I went on facebook and noticed that mine only says 'In a relationship' his name is now removed, I went to his profile and his relationship status is completely hidden. And his most recent status update is 'Until we meet again....' I don't know why he would change it so suddenly, we're talking fine, he's still calling me hun and baby and he's even invited me to go away with him for a few days next week. So I don't understand it. This wouldn't be bothering me so much if I thought it was just a privacy issue but all his friends and family already know about me. And before we started dating his status was never 'single' it was always just hidden. Any idea what this could mean? It's really driving me crazy. I do plan on talking to him about it when I see him (I don't want to discuss something like this over the phone or in a text) but I'm just looking for another person's opinion. Thank you. I think another reason why this is bothering me so much is because my last boyfriend said he wanted a 'break' and made me believe that was all it was but he was actually out playing the field. And then he decided to officially breakup with me by changing his relationship status on facebook, no call or anything to tell me he wanted it to be over he just changed his status. So I guess I'm worried that my new boyfriend is now doing the same thing....
Singles & Dating - 2 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
I think maybe he's shy showing to other people on facebook that you guys are on relationship. ( Even though you guys agreed to put it on Facebook) When you guys meet just ask him why he didn't put it on Facebook or why he removed it. Good luck! Hope it helps.
2 :
I think it would be best to talk to him about it in person if this is really bothering you. Part of having a strong relationship is being able to tell your partner what's on your mind. If he dodges the question in any way, he may be hiding something. Just have a private conversation with him and hopefully he will give you a reason for his behavior. Good luck!
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Okay, so I haven't been with my new boyfriend for that long, but when we got together we agreed to change our relationship statuses on facebook to 'In a relationship with ___' Today I went on facebook and noticed that mine only says 'In a relationship' his name is now removed, I went to his profile and his relationship status is completely hidden. And his most recent status update is 'Until we meet again....' I don't know why he would change it so suddenly, we're talking fine, he's still calling me hun and baby and he's even invited me to go away with him for a few days next week. So I don't understand it. This wouldn't be bothering me so much if I thought it was just a privacy issue but all his friends and family already know about me. And before we started dating his status was never 'single' it was always just hidden. Any idea what this could mean? It's really driving me crazy. I do plan on talking to him about it when I see him (I don't want to discuss something like this over the phone or in a text) but I'm just looking for another person's opinion. Thank you. I think another reason why this is bothering me so much is because my last boyfriend said he wanted a 'break' and made me believe that was all it was but he was actually out playing the field. And then he decided to officially breakup with me by changing his relationship status on facebook, no call or anything to tell me he wanted it to be over he just changed his status. So I guess I'm worried that my new boyfriend is now doing the same thing....
Singles & Dating - 2 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
I think maybe he's shy showing to other people on facebook that you guys are on relationship. ( Even though you guys agreed to put it on Facebook) When you guys meet just ask him why he didn't put it on Facebook or why he removed it. Good luck! Hope it helps.
2 :
I think it would be best to talk to him about it in person if this is really bothering you. Part of having a strong relationship is being able to tell your partner what's on your mind. If he dodges the question in any way, he may be hiding something. Just have a private conversation with him and hopefully he will give you a reason for his behavior. Good luck!
Read more other entries :
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