How do I get my phone back?
earlier this year I really went 'off the rails' I was drinking, sneaking out and just generally getting involved with the wrong crowd. Then about four months ago, my parents took my phone and computer and put all these rules down to make me behave. It's been four months and I've got my computer back, some of my freedom and a little respect. but still no phone. ----EXAMPLES---- [you dont need to read them all] It sucks and is just REALLY annoying. Like friday night I went to see a movie with my friends and during the night, my dad was texting all my friends to discuss how i was getting home [he cant drive atm] but i'd already arranged for someone to take me home. In the end [thanks to all his messing] three different people -including my mom- were all waiting outside to take me home. If my dad had just been able to call me, I could've told him I was being taken how by my friend, and I'd be back before 11. Or on saturday night, it was my friends birthday, so about 10 of us girls went out for pizza. then at the end everyone had gone home and her parents were waiting an extra 45mintues after everyone had left to make sure I wasn't there by myself. My mom had fallen asleep and the only reason she came is because I borrowed my friends phone and called her and was like "um, sorry mom but everyones gone - can you pick me up like now?" I literally don't talk to anyone outside school [my parents deleted my facebook] and its pretty hard for me to get invited out anywhere because whenever i ask why i wasn't invited its because "we couldnt contact you to ask you". The only time I talk to someone outside of school is if i call them. and thats pretty hard because all the numbers are on my phone. I've lost all my friends outside of school because I dont talk to them anymore. ---EXAMPLES--- I know I did wrong, but I really need my phone. And four months is a long time - I've learnt my lesson! Since I got caught, i dont hang out with anyone outside school. and i literally NEED my phone back. Summer is coming up [two weeks] adn my dad cant drive atm, so I'm gonna be taking rides with friends or using public transport a lot. I'm moving to victoria at the end of summer, so i intend on spending all summer at the beach with my friends. I'm even considering asking for my phone for my birthday [december 15th]. my dad said i can have my phone back january 1st. but im spending nearly the whole of january in london, so its not like i can use it anyway. Do you think if i tell my dad he can check my phone every night and check my bill? Thanks xx p.s. i'm 14...nearly 15.
Adolescent - 3 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
I think that you should tell your dad that yes, you were wrong when you sneaked out and partied, but that honestly if he gave you back the phone then he would have more control over you. (Not exactly true but it does make a good point.) You should tell him these examples, but remember to also put in not just good things about getting back the phone, but show that you were wrong because honestly it will look a bit strange if having a phone is all 100% good. Say that he can check on you when he wants, see who you're with and be much safer in general and arrangements would be simpler. Good Luck!
2 :
You're not hanging out with friends who aren't from school, and you'll be in London soon anyway, so why do you need the phone? You're just addicted to it or you want to contact those people who got you in trouble again. Looks like your dad is hard core and won't relent until January 1st. Good for him!
3 :
You should tell them what you just wrote to us... And add that it will be a lot easier to comunicate w/ them and let them know where you are if you have a phone... :)
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Monday, May 14, 2012
Monday, May 7, 2012
Will He Ever Get Over It?
Will He Ever Get Over It?
I've been seeing D for a few weeks, although he's liked me for years. He's funny, smart, and sooo fun to be around. I'm smitten. That is of course, until I ruined everything. I hadn't seen D in over a week because we're both really busy. I was so excited to see him, but he cancelled on our beach date and instead just came over to my house later. I was disappointed, because it started to feel more like a booty call than a date, and I was awkward and cold until he left. I later realized that I was overreacting, he still came to see me, we haven't slept together or anything (so it OF COURSE wasn't a booty call). We had plans to hangout the next night, but he blew me off for being too tired. I instantly was livid and assumed he must be over me. I had an ex who lied and cheated. I know these things (or so I thought). In my fury, I text D and say that I'm sorry for acting weird the other night, BUT if all he wants is a f*** buddy, I'm not it and I don't like wasting my time. To make a long story short, my best friend took matters into her own hands and posted this SUPER old picture of me kissing our guy friend (the picture was a joke - the friend surprise-kissed me for the picture, we've never hooked up) on Facebook to make D jealous. I didn't hear from D for three days (when usually he texts me all day long), so I texted him and asked where he'd been. He was furious about the picture (which surprised me because we never talked about being exclusive), and said that I called him a waste of time. I explained that the picture was not only a TOTAL joke, it was from forever ago. He thought that the picture had been from a night when I was supposed to go to D's house - which I don't even know what he's talking about! I then explained that I love hanging out with him, and I would never call him a waste of time! I just meant that I didn't want to waste my time if all he wanted was sex, and I don't think he does (I was just being insecure). He didn't believe me, would barely discuss it, and told me he "had to go". I miss him and like him more than ever and I'm furious with my friend for posting the picture, and even more mad at myself for allowing insecurity from a bad ex ruin things with D. What can I do? It's been a week since I'd tried to explain. He hasn't contacted me since. =( Help!
Singles & Dating - 1 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Move on get over it he doesn't trust you and wont believe you relationships are built on trust
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I've been seeing D for a few weeks, although he's liked me for years. He's funny, smart, and sooo fun to be around. I'm smitten. That is of course, until I ruined everything. I hadn't seen D in over a week because we're both really busy. I was so excited to see him, but he cancelled on our beach date and instead just came over to my house later. I was disappointed, because it started to feel more like a booty call than a date, and I was awkward and cold until he left. I later realized that I was overreacting, he still came to see me, we haven't slept together or anything (so it OF COURSE wasn't a booty call). We had plans to hangout the next night, but he blew me off for being too tired. I instantly was livid and assumed he must be over me. I had an ex who lied and cheated. I know these things (or so I thought). In my fury, I text D and say that I'm sorry for acting weird the other night, BUT if all he wants is a f*** buddy, I'm not it and I don't like wasting my time. To make a long story short, my best friend took matters into her own hands and posted this SUPER old picture of me kissing our guy friend (the picture was a joke - the friend surprise-kissed me for the picture, we've never hooked up) on Facebook to make D jealous. I didn't hear from D for three days (when usually he texts me all day long), so I texted him and asked where he'd been. He was furious about the picture (which surprised me because we never talked about being exclusive), and said that I called him a waste of time. I explained that the picture was not only a TOTAL joke, it was from forever ago. He thought that the picture had been from a night when I was supposed to go to D's house - which I don't even know what he's talking about! I then explained that I love hanging out with him, and I would never call him a waste of time! I just meant that I didn't want to waste my time if all he wanted was sex, and I don't think he does (I was just being insecure). He didn't believe me, would barely discuss it, and told me he "had to go". I miss him and like him more than ever and I'm furious with my friend for posting the picture, and even more mad at myself for allowing insecurity from a bad ex ruin things with D. What can I do? It's been a week since I'd tried to explain. He hasn't contacted me since. =( Help!
Singles & Dating - 1 Answers
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1 :
Move on get over it he doesn't trust you and wont believe you relationships are built on trust
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Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Should I Email My Girlfriend A Little Long, Please Help!!?
Should I Email My Girlfriend A Little Long, Please Help!!?
I've had a girlfriend since June 3rd. She went to Hawaii for various reasons: She needs to lifeguard at Ewa Beach, has family there (she's half Hawaiian and very beautiful) and has to take some PSAT prep courses. Basically like a summer school. She's taking them there because she also has a home in Hawaii and it seemed better to her from her telling me about it. But there have been some problems. This guy (who was a childhood friend of hers) changed her relationship status on facebook and said that she is in a relationship with him and not me. I called and asked her about it, she was busy at the time but she briefly told me that he has her facebook password and he's "just messing with my profile." Now, I'm starting to have doubts though. I don't know if I can trust her on that even though she is a very understanding person in general. The guy blocked me from her and now I can't even see her profile. If he has just been messing around with her profile on facebook only I wouldn't worry too much but if he's calling her.. Telling her that he wants her or something, that's what I should be worried about. The last time I spoke to her on the phone was about the change on the facebook profile and I've tried calling her and there has been no answer. We promised not to see other people (as in dating others). I've only met the guy once so confronting him is probably not a good idea. So should I try to email her saying I really want to discuss things with you? Or should I just leave her? I'm going to be 18 tomorrow so I really don't know what to do!! My girlfriend is 16 years old.
Singles & Dating - 2 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Leave her. If you act all desperate you'll push her to the other guy. Leave her to make her mind up and if she chooses the other guy then you wouldn't have worked out anyway. The fact that he knows her facebook password is a little weird but he's obviously worried about you. If they were in a strong relationship you wouldn't be a threat. Just back off and let her come to you.
2 :
Leave her because if he has her password then they are VERY close. Far too close for a girl who's supposed to be in a relationship. She's not taking the relationship as serious as you are, so you need to let it go. She's allowing this to feed into her desire to feel wanted, and you being frustrated about it will only make her feel important. You don't need that, move on.
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I've had a girlfriend since June 3rd. She went to Hawaii for various reasons: She needs to lifeguard at Ewa Beach, has family there (she's half Hawaiian and very beautiful) and has to take some PSAT prep courses. Basically like a summer school. She's taking them there because she also has a home in Hawaii and it seemed better to her from her telling me about it. But there have been some problems. This guy (who was a childhood friend of hers) changed her relationship status on facebook and said that she is in a relationship with him and not me. I called and asked her about it, she was busy at the time but she briefly told me that he has her facebook password and he's "just messing with my profile." Now, I'm starting to have doubts though. I don't know if I can trust her on that even though she is a very understanding person in general. The guy blocked me from her and now I can't even see her profile. If he has just been messing around with her profile on facebook only I wouldn't worry too much but if he's calling her.. Telling her that he wants her or something, that's what I should be worried about. The last time I spoke to her on the phone was about the change on the facebook profile and I've tried calling her and there has been no answer. We promised not to see other people (as in dating others). I've only met the guy once so confronting him is probably not a good idea. So should I try to email her saying I really want to discuss things with you? Or should I just leave her? I'm going to be 18 tomorrow so I really don't know what to do!! My girlfriend is 16 years old.
Singles & Dating - 2 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Leave her. If you act all desperate you'll push her to the other guy. Leave her to make her mind up and if she chooses the other guy then you wouldn't have worked out anyway. The fact that he knows her facebook password is a little weird but he's obviously worried about you. If they were in a strong relationship you wouldn't be a threat. Just back off and let her come to you.
2 :
Leave her because if he has her password then they are VERY close. Far too close for a girl who's supposed to be in a relationship. She's not taking the relationship as serious as you are, so you need to let it go. She's allowing this to feed into her desire to feel wanted, and you being frustrated about it will only make her feel important. You don't need that, move on.
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Saturday, April 28, 2012
MO & AR divorce laws, legal advice about spousal support, adultery, home...any lawyers?
MO & AR divorce laws, legal advice about spousal support, adultery, home...any lawyers?
Long story...complicated a bit! Please be kind, this is a very emotionally disturbing situation, only serious answers please. I'll try to sum it up... Married in arkansas, resided together in Missouri. Married almost 4 years, I was a single mother of 3 going back to college when we met, and i had my own home. we married, I sold my home, we bought a $300,000+ home together. I had to quit going to college and work full-time because his promise to pay my tuition after we married was not fulfilled. I quit working all together 6 months later at his request because he works away from home and wanted me home when he was not working. June 2007, he moved out and got an apartment in arkansas, putting much of the blame on his children, stating they do not care for me. Has spent much time here in our home since then, with many unkept promises of moving back. He took a job in Asia 1 year ago and while claims to be working 3 months on and 3 WEEKS off, I just found out that he has not been working all that time and in fact has an asian girlfriend with which he is residing, believed to be in Thailand. yet he will not admit this. He has since let the mortgage get behind, his vehicle was even repossessed this week. Although I have had suspicions of all of this, I confronted him manytimes and it was always denied. I lost my part-time job this week because of emotional upset and inability to work. and have discussed many times about geting a full-time job and each time he simply refuses and says there's no need. the emotional upset is because i had not spoken tohim in 7 days, got suspicious, found internet profiles(facebook, myspace) with many asian female friends, learned he's learning the language, etc. I called the vessel he was supposed to beon and he had left 1 week earlier. learned he had been in bangkok, had lasik eye surgery, then was supposed to fly home on feb. 11th, move home permanently, catch up the mortgage, then on the 11th i got an email from him stating he wasn't coming home. 5 days went by with no word from him, he claimed he had been in jail for hitting the doctor while at his lasik check-up. Now today, 5 more days later, he confesses its over! I have no money, a home that will eventually go into foreclosure, an unfinished degree with student loans to pay, 3 children to support, no means to go to the doctor for some type of help with my upset and nervous situation. His job is a contract position, no taxes withheld, all checks deposited into an Asian bank account, possibley in Singapore. His income averages $150,000 per year. He claims he doesnt have a passport anymore either. I have suspected, but he will not admit to anything and I'm afraid he may be seeking citizenship in an Asian country and am unsure as to whether or not this will make me responsible for all of our shared debt. What are my chances of getting spousal support, at least temporarily? Should I go ahead and file for divorce now? or only tryto seek spousal support and let him show that he is the guilty and abandoning party by waiting for him to file? ***PLEASE***before any snide and hurtful remarks are made, please be aware that the only thing I am guilty for is loving someone who happens to be quite manipulative, hurtful, selfish, quite convincing, and someone whom I have always been able to trust and who I thought was my best friend as well. I am not a stupid person, I am very trusting and have always been an honest person. I am however, obviously a terrible judge of character. This situation has completely turned my world upside down, so please only serious answers from those who have serious educated answers. I do plan to get an attorney, but have to have finances first and am trying to get a sense of what I may be up against. .
Law & Ethics - 1 Answers
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1 :
WAY, way, way too long. Shorten this question and you may get more answers to help you.
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Long story...complicated a bit! Please be kind, this is a very emotionally disturbing situation, only serious answers please. I'll try to sum it up... Married in arkansas, resided together in Missouri. Married almost 4 years, I was a single mother of 3 going back to college when we met, and i had my own home. we married, I sold my home, we bought a $300,000+ home together. I had to quit going to college and work full-time because his promise to pay my tuition after we married was not fulfilled. I quit working all together 6 months later at his request because he works away from home and wanted me home when he was not working. June 2007, he moved out and got an apartment in arkansas, putting much of the blame on his children, stating they do not care for me. Has spent much time here in our home since then, with many unkept promises of moving back. He took a job in Asia 1 year ago and while claims to be working 3 months on and 3 WEEKS off, I just found out that he has not been working all that time and in fact has an asian girlfriend with which he is residing, believed to be in Thailand. yet he will not admit this. He has since let the mortgage get behind, his vehicle was even repossessed this week. Although I have had suspicions of all of this, I confronted him manytimes and it was always denied. I lost my part-time job this week because of emotional upset and inability to work. and have discussed many times about geting a full-time job and each time he simply refuses and says there's no need. the emotional upset is because i had not spoken tohim in 7 days, got suspicious, found internet profiles(facebook, myspace) with many asian female friends, learned he's learning the language, etc. I called the vessel he was supposed to beon and he had left 1 week earlier. learned he had been in bangkok, had lasik eye surgery, then was supposed to fly home on feb. 11th, move home permanently, catch up the mortgage, then on the 11th i got an email from him stating he wasn't coming home. 5 days went by with no word from him, he claimed he had been in jail for hitting the doctor while at his lasik check-up. Now today, 5 more days later, he confesses its over! I have no money, a home that will eventually go into foreclosure, an unfinished degree with student loans to pay, 3 children to support, no means to go to the doctor for some type of help with my upset and nervous situation. His job is a contract position, no taxes withheld, all checks deposited into an Asian bank account, possibley in Singapore. His income averages $150,000 per year. He claims he doesnt have a passport anymore either. I have suspected, but he will not admit to anything and I'm afraid he may be seeking citizenship in an Asian country and am unsure as to whether or not this will make me responsible for all of our shared debt. What are my chances of getting spousal support, at least temporarily? Should I go ahead and file for divorce now? or only tryto seek spousal support and let him show that he is the guilty and abandoning party by waiting for him to file? ***PLEASE***before any snide and hurtful remarks are made, please be aware that the only thing I am guilty for is loving someone who happens to be quite manipulative, hurtful, selfish, quite convincing, and someone whom I have always been able to trust and who I thought was my best friend as well. I am not a stupid person, I am very trusting and have always been an honest person. I am however, obviously a terrible judge of character. This situation has completely turned my world upside down, so please only serious answers from those who have serious educated answers. I do plan to get an attorney, but have to have finances first and am trying to get a sense of what I may be up against. .
Law & Ethics - 1 Answers
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1 :
WAY, way, way too long. Shorten this question and you may get more answers to help you.
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Saturday, April 14, 2012
Long Distance Relationship Question!?
Long Distance Relationship Question!?
Okay so me and this girl have been talking since October 2009, We met thru mutual friends on Facebook. I live in Missouri and shit lives in Washington. We have discussed each one of us potentially moving to each others state. Well we have come to the conclusion that it would be best for her to move here. We talk for at least 16 hours a day via phone/txt. We go to each other for everything and tell each other everything, basically we are very dependent on each other. THE PROBLEM IS she will not commit to anything, where as ive committed to the whole idea months ago. Ive been giving it my all to make her just agree to everything. Shes very indecisive about the whole thing. One day she says "This is what I want, but I don't know if its what I need" then the next day she says "I just don't know if this is what I want" HOW DO I MAKE HER UNDERSTAND THAT THIS IS FOR THE BEST? WHAT DOES IT MEAN IF SHE IS VERY DEPENDENT ON ME? (which i love that she is dependent because it makes me feel like she NEEDS me). She always says that this situation ISNT easy, when in all reality it IS VERY easy. All she has to do is commit and buy her plane ticket for July (that's when the moving will occur) PLEASE HELP ME IN GETTING WHAT I WANT. DOES ANYONE THINK SHE IS REALLY INTERESTED? SHE SAYS SHE "LOVES ME" ALL THE TIME. but sometimes i dont feel it i forgot to add that she came to visit me for a week in February and things went great. :)
Singles & Dating - 3 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Unfortunately, she's a person, just like you. Which means it's no longer about WHAT YOU WANT, but about WHAT'S BEST FOR BOTH OF YOU AS A COUPLE. You can't control her, and you can't control her needs. Probably would be a good idea to back off for a while.
2 :
No it's not as easy as buying a plane ticket and moving. Remember she would be leaving behind her family, friends, home, job etc. Have the two of you even met in person? Honestly it sounds a little bit like maybe you guys just got caught up in a romantic fantasy type thing. You can't force major life decisions on someone. If you really are in love and committed, just slow it down, what's the rush. Have her come for a visit instead of just packing up and moving her life.
3 :
ok..you never met in person? here's what i would do. go a whole day without contact (oooooh i know this is hard to do) maybe half a day. if she asks...you had an earlier commitment to (fill in the blank). 3 days later...you were too busy with (fill in the blank) this is not a head game...you are training yourself to back off some so you won't get hurt bad if she doesn't want to move there. also, you can test this out to see if she said things like" i really missed you" as apposed to "i really needed you". start deterring yourself a bit..(go to a movie, read some books, etc) she might be interested in someone else, but i dont think so, but she might be. good luck..
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Okay so me and this girl have been talking since October 2009, We met thru mutual friends on Facebook. I live in Missouri and shit lives in Washington. We have discussed each one of us potentially moving to each others state. Well we have come to the conclusion that it would be best for her to move here. We talk for at least 16 hours a day via phone/txt. We go to each other for everything and tell each other everything, basically we are very dependent on each other. THE PROBLEM IS she will not commit to anything, where as ive committed to the whole idea months ago. Ive been giving it my all to make her just agree to everything. Shes very indecisive about the whole thing. One day she says "This is what I want, but I don't know if its what I need" then the next day she says "I just don't know if this is what I want" HOW DO I MAKE HER UNDERSTAND THAT THIS IS FOR THE BEST? WHAT DOES IT MEAN IF SHE IS VERY DEPENDENT ON ME? (which i love that she is dependent because it makes me feel like she NEEDS me). She always says that this situation ISNT easy, when in all reality it IS VERY easy. All she has to do is commit and buy her plane ticket for July (that's when the moving will occur) PLEASE HELP ME IN GETTING WHAT I WANT. DOES ANYONE THINK SHE IS REALLY INTERESTED? SHE SAYS SHE "LOVES ME" ALL THE TIME. but sometimes i dont feel it i forgot to add that she came to visit me for a week in February and things went great. :)
Singles & Dating - 3 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Unfortunately, she's a person, just like you. Which means it's no longer about WHAT YOU WANT, but about WHAT'S BEST FOR BOTH OF YOU AS A COUPLE. You can't control her, and you can't control her needs. Probably would be a good idea to back off for a while.
2 :
No it's not as easy as buying a plane ticket and moving. Remember she would be leaving behind her family, friends, home, job etc. Have the two of you even met in person? Honestly it sounds a little bit like maybe you guys just got caught up in a romantic fantasy type thing. You can't force major life decisions on someone. If you really are in love and committed, just slow it down, what's the rush. Have her come for a visit instead of just packing up and moving her life.
3 :
ok..you never met in person? here's what i would do. go a whole day without contact (oooooh i know this is hard to do) maybe half a day. if she asks...you had an earlier commitment to (fill in the blank). 3 days later...you were too busy with (fill in the blank) this is not a head game...you are training yourself to back off some so you won't get hurt bad if she doesn't want to move there. also, you can test this out to see if she said things like" i really missed you" as apposed to "i really needed you". start deterring yourself a bit..(go to a movie, read some books, etc) she might be interested in someone else, but i dont think so, but she might be. good luck..
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Saturday, April 7, 2012
How much should I charge?
How much should I charge?
This might be a little long. Bare with me. I just went into my interview for a dealership/corporation here in NEW MEXICO. I went in and discussed about him signing a contract with me/my partner. He would like for us to take 15-20pictures/vehicle. About 20-40vehicles a week. (what should we [price on the bidding price for that?) Also, he'd like me to maintain/create 3 sites. Facebook, Twitter, Myspace. As in updates, pictures, emails, blogging, etc (what should I price on that?) He wants us to bring in a proposing bid/detailed prices on everything. I need a template, but have no idea what one looks like. Please help . WE are so new at this
Small Business - 3 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Well it depends, if you have seen the area. what kind of environment is it, healthy? if it at a good place where cars come and there are nice people around you should buy it hope that helped. And um think of all the money spend to
2 :
ok if its for a car dealership for the pictures charge the guy nothing say its complimentery but in reality you charge him with the websites and the pictures at once but use the name as just the website and for that charge him 150 pluse the charge of buying the camaras and the manual labor it may seem like a lot for just pictures and updates but to people such as him its nothing soo your looking at a charge of 250 the first month for the stuff and 200 every month after hope this helps :)
3 :
I am not sure what your looking for but when ever I need pricing I ask the Competition. If you are asking about how to set up webpages and such you need a few basic skills first http://www.schoolforwebsites.com or maybe you need to learn how to do a facebook fan page http://www.schoolforwebsites.com/Membership You might try calling a weding photogragher and ask. small business owners are always happy to talk about their business, it might cost you a lunch.
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This might be a little long. Bare with me. I just went into my interview for a dealership/corporation here in NEW MEXICO. I went in and discussed about him signing a contract with me/my partner. He would like for us to take 15-20pictures/vehicle. About 20-40vehicles a week. (what should we [price on the bidding price for that?) Also, he'd like me to maintain/create 3 sites. Facebook, Twitter, Myspace. As in updates, pictures, emails, blogging, etc (what should I price on that?) He wants us to bring in a proposing bid/detailed prices on everything. I need a template, but have no idea what one looks like. Please help . WE are so new at this
Small Business - 3 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Well it depends, if you have seen the area. what kind of environment is it, healthy? if it at a good place where cars come and there are nice people around you should buy it hope that helped. And um think of all the money spend to
2 :
ok if its for a car dealership for the pictures charge the guy nothing say its complimentery but in reality you charge him with the websites and the pictures at once but use the name as just the website and for that charge him 150 pluse the charge of buying the camaras and the manual labor it may seem like a lot for just pictures and updates but to people such as him its nothing soo your looking at a charge of 250 the first month for the stuff and 200 every month after hope this helps :)
3 :
I am not sure what your looking for but when ever I need pricing I ask the Competition. If you are asking about how to set up webpages and such you need a few basic skills first http://www.schoolforwebsites.com or maybe you need to learn how to do a facebook fan page http://www.schoolforwebsites.com/Membership You might try calling a weding photogragher and ask. small business owners are always happy to talk about their business, it might cost you a lunch.
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Sunday, April 1, 2012
When I close my eyes, I break down and cry thinking about my husband, my ex and my boyfriend. What should I do?
When I close my eyes, I break down and cry thinking about my husband, my ex and my boyfriend. What should I do?
I swear on everything that I'm not trolling. I am in love with my husband, my ex-boyfriend(first love) and my current boyfriend. I'm 40 years old and I feel like a stupid teenage girl for doing this to them because they are all amazing men. All of whom I have children with. So, I have to make a choice and I'd appreciate some advice and opinions. I met and fell in love with Ricky while we were in college and we dated steadily for over three years(1988-1991). Ricky became my first love when I got into college. I gave him my virginity and everything. During my fourth year in college in 1991, I had to spend four months in Europe studying abroad. Ricky and I had a big argument before I left for Europe but we didn't exactly breakup. While I was in Europe, I met Jeremiah. Although I've never seen him around campus, he was also studying abroad and he was attending the same college as Ricky and me. Jeremiah and I started studying together and then dating and then falling in love. The closer I got to Jeremiah, the farther apart I got from Ricky. When I returned to Georgia, I told Ricky that I fell for someone else so we broke up and it broke his heart. Jeremiah and I stayed together, finished college, got married in 1996, had our daughter Tashi in 1999 and our son Donte in 2001. Jeremiah and I had a great marriage until he cheated on me 5 years ago with some stripper at his brother's bachelor party. I forgave him because I love him and he's a good man over all but I didn't forget. Ricky and I reunited via Facebook in March 2008 through a mutual former classmate. He's divorced and he has a daughter around my kids' age; his ex-wife was a gold-digging, thieving tramp. Sparks started flying again, we met up in person and I proceeded to have an affair with Ricky while married to Jeremiah. I still love Ricky but I had no plans on leaving Jeremiah. Ricky feels no remorse about dating me because he feels as though Jeremiah "robbed" him of what he could have had with me and he needs to watch his pride as a man. True. In college, Jeremiah did tell me to make a choice between him and Ricky or else he would take it to the next level with some girl he was talking to at the time. I chose Jeremiah NOT because I didn't want that girl to have him but because I loved him too much to lose him even though I was in love with Ricky too. So, I guess Ricky is still bitter after all these years. After a few months of reconnecting with Ricky I ended up pregnant. I HAD to tell Jeremiah because I wasn't sure who the father was. Jeremiah was hurt and he packed up and moved out in August 2008 but we still remain legally married. Although I continue to sleep with Ricky, I wasn't ready to commit myself to him because I was still sad about separating from Jeremiah. Even when I gave birth to Ricky's son Daymond(the DNA test proved its is) in April 2009, I still didn't commit. In July 2009, I met Sayyid. He was single, sexy, smart, funny and sweet. He's 15 years my junior but he's VERY mature. Sayyid and I have been dating ever since then and we moved in together. I'm really in love with Sayyid and I gave birth to his daughter Sayyida(another DNA test confirmation). I'm going to admit that ever since Jeremiah and I separated, we would occasionally spend the night together, have sex and sometimes discuss reconciling. Just like I'm in a relationship with Sayyid, Jeremiah has a girlfriend of his own. Now, Jeremiah is sick of "playing games" with me, he told me if I want to give our marriage another chance he will dump his girlfriend Alyssa and I'll have to dump Sayyid. Or else, he's staying with Alyssa, I'm staying with Sayyid and we're getting a divorce. It's a hard decision, especially with all these children involved. I'm in love with Jeremiah, our marriage was wonderful but it was his ONE mistake with that stripper and my ONE mistake with Ricky that ruined it all. Not to mention, Jeremiah and I have two amazing kids who miss having their daddy home. I love Ricky with all my heart and I always looked back and felt bad about the way I betrayed him in college. I always wondered what would have happened if I married him instead. He NEVER would have wound up with such a witch for a wife. The more I look at the precious baby boy I have with Ricky it breaks me down and I cry. But I'm VERY happy with Sayyid and I love him so much. He gave me my fourth child and I gave him his first. I'm sure he knows that I still have feelings for my husband but he has NO clue that I'm still seeing Ricky but he does know about our child. I don't want to keep doing this to them, myself and my children. Whichever one I choose, the other two will be hurt. What would you do if you were me?
Singles & Dating - 18 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
I would make an appointment with a counselor. I'm being serious.
2 :
im not reading that whole thing. but from first paragraph. PICKONE> your to old to be a slut right now, like idk, your weird
3 :
Don't close your eyes then. But again what these guys are saying, it's too long.
4 :
I don't want to sound mean but if you think anybody is going to be all devastated about NOT being with someone with your past, you may be overestimating yourself. You have ruined too many lives (particularly the childrens' ) with your behaviour. Be honest with everybody and see who, if anybody, will forgive you and want to be with you.
5 :
I hope you know a lot of people on here won't read this, so if I were you I would see a counselor or therapist honestly. You won't get very many serious answers on here. Good luck!
6 :
If I was you I'd put more time into my kids and less time into my affairs. This is so messed up. I don't know how you'd be in love with three men at the same time. If I was fighting with one love and in love with another I'd have no time to sqeeze another one in. Just open a brotel and get paid for this shit
7 :
this is sick.
8 :
You can't please everyone. Good lord, I would highly suggest getting some counseling, you're in quite a mess here, and you're going to end up hurting your children because of this. Please, get help.
9 :
counselor
10 :
Ok Well since youve been dating ricky this whole time i think you should stay with him.. (at least if he knows about the kids and the other 2 men your still seeing...) Take your kids too ... if hes not ok with that then dont go with him your kids feelings are the most important but they will each probably pick thweir own fathers if you asked them.
11 :
2 options: Meet another guy and have another baby. OR - Keep your pants on and don't date anybody - take care of your kids and get therapy. Your choice - here is a hint - don't choose option one
12 :
Wow.... Well, your marriage is over. It's tainted. You probably wouldn't have got with Ricky if he hadn't cheated and betrayed you. So just cut it off with your husband. You may have an excellent chance with Ricky. He seems like a great guy, who just wants you for himself. If Ricky has never cheated on you, I say, Get with Ricky! He's your first love, you'll always love him, you've already been in a committed relationship before, so you have a good foundation already. Sayyid sounds like he's something new, fresh, exciting. He's just a distraction to get your mind off of the other two. He's a lot younger than you, he's probably an ego boost to you. He's still a young guy, he has a chance with someone else. Well, you might want to consider Sayyid, too. If he makes you really happy, then maybe he's the guy for you. Because heck, maybe you only care for Ricky now because you feel guilty? BUT, what will Sayyid think when he hears you're also with Ricky? You can't hide that from him anymore. The number one thing I can tell you is that whenever you feel hurt, you find someone else. I think you should go to counseling for this. It's not healthy for you, your partner(s), or your children. Just because a guy does something "bad" to you doesn't mean you need to fill the void with a whole other guy. I hope you understand that! Anyways, just honestly think of your feelings. You and your husband won't work. I'll tell you that. You might be "in love" with Ricky over guilty, and you may "love" Sayyid because he's something new and exciting. Maybe you need to make a clean break from them and just be a good mother, and find another guy later down the road, so things are less messy. Just on a side note, I hope you realize how difficult this will be in the future, when the kids get older, when you get in a deeper relationship with the one you choose, etc. Good luck!
13 :
A) That's way too long B) You need to pick, either way you've got kids with each one of these men. C) This is way to serious to be on here, you're old enough to deal with your own shit. Most of the people who ask about these things aren't yet out of their twenties and are most likely still teens. GROW UP.
14 :
As I'm sure you know life isn't easy and not everyone is gonna be pleased with the choices you make. You certainly shouldn't make your decision based on what you feel you owe either of the men, only what you feel. You feel like you screwed Ricky over, there's not a person alive who hasn't felt like that and a good portion of them did exactly what you did or something similar so you shouldn't really kick yourself over something you did so many years ago when you were still practically a kid and if Ricky was mature he wouldn't act like you owe it to him to cheat on your husband or boyfriend. While you may feel like you're acting like a teenager for being upset over this situation, you're not, your emotions know no age and neither does stress. It sounds to me like you need to just take a step back, reevaluate the situation and then make your choice. And keep in mind, your children are just as much of a choice as Ricky, Jeremiah and Sayyid. Keep them in mind as well.
15 :
Your priority should be your children, allowing all these different men in and out of their lives can't be healthy for them, and if you have three separate men on the go I really can't see how you can be putting your children first. Perhaps you should seek professional help, it is not your responsibility to feel guilty about who your ex chose to marry and say your ex did marry you, would YOU have been faithful to him? Probably not, and does that make you any better then her? You need to figure out what it is and who it is you want because the longer you drag it out the more it is you will hurt them. Set them free and allow them to find someone who will be faithful to them
16 :
First things first: Your children. They need you. All good mothers have one thing in common: They care more about their children than they care about themselves. Pur your love affairs aside for a month. Take care of your kids. Clear your head. Go to a psychologist. Get organized. I understand that love is a messy business. It's confusing, it hurts, it's exciting, and you want everything that you can't have. You need some time away from all of these men to think about it without distractions. Go on a vacation. Take your kids to DisneyLand. Find a female friend to discuss this with. Tell her how sexy and amazing and kind you think all three of them are and let her give you some unclouded advice. 1. Take care of your kids. 2. Go to a psychologist 3. Take a vacation AWAY FROM THE MEN. 4. Discuss this with a female friend. Good lucky, girlie. It sounds like a tough situation and it will take some work to get it taken care of.
17 :
First I would get the Divorce. Then try to make a desision to which one you want. The younger guy Sayyid from what you describe about him. He seems like a nice person with a good heart. And Rick is in the past and let the past stay their. I should know I did the samething with my Ex. Bad decision even tho i wounder what would it be like to have him as a husband. I know it will never happen. And I know you dont want to hurt anyone feelings. So divorce the husband, loose the ex, and stay with Sayyid at least with him its a new start. Hope everything go's good. ^_^
18 :
Before i start i have to say that you're old enough to be my mother so i cant see myself giving you advice on what to do on this situation. I'll go ahead and tell you what i think anyways because it seems like you need some help. I cant say that i've been in your situation because i haven't. I cant actually tell you who to choose because i'm not in the place to tell you that either. What i can say is the known of this situation, whats in front of you. I can tell you that what you did to Ricky back in college turned right back on you in the long run, when your husband cheated on you. You made the situation worst when you return the favor to your husband by being with Ricky and then also with Sayyid. Personally i think you should take a break with everybody and think about your children and whats best for them. Only have a relationship with your babies' daddys because of the children and no other reason. Focus on whats important and when you have that balanced then think about what you want when you're mind is clear. There's no easy way out of this situation i can tell you that much. You have to put on those 40 year old shoes and use your wisdom to fix things. Praying to God will help you figure out whats the best. Staying with your husband would be the ideal thing to do. Forgiving, and forgetting is the positive way and work things out. Again i cant tell you whats the right thing to do because there may not be one but just think it out clearly. I hope things work out i truly do. No judgment because we all do things we're not proud of and also we cant control who we fall in love with right?. Good Luck
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I swear on everything that I'm not trolling. I am in love with my husband, my ex-boyfriend(first love) and my current boyfriend. I'm 40 years old and I feel like a stupid teenage girl for doing this to them because they are all amazing men. All of whom I have children with. So, I have to make a choice and I'd appreciate some advice and opinions. I met and fell in love with Ricky while we were in college and we dated steadily for over three years(1988-1991). Ricky became my first love when I got into college. I gave him my virginity and everything. During my fourth year in college in 1991, I had to spend four months in Europe studying abroad. Ricky and I had a big argument before I left for Europe but we didn't exactly breakup. While I was in Europe, I met Jeremiah. Although I've never seen him around campus, he was also studying abroad and he was attending the same college as Ricky and me. Jeremiah and I started studying together and then dating and then falling in love. The closer I got to Jeremiah, the farther apart I got from Ricky. When I returned to Georgia, I told Ricky that I fell for someone else so we broke up and it broke his heart. Jeremiah and I stayed together, finished college, got married in 1996, had our daughter Tashi in 1999 and our son Donte in 2001. Jeremiah and I had a great marriage until he cheated on me 5 years ago with some stripper at his brother's bachelor party. I forgave him because I love him and he's a good man over all but I didn't forget. Ricky and I reunited via Facebook in March 2008 through a mutual former classmate. He's divorced and he has a daughter around my kids' age; his ex-wife was a gold-digging, thieving tramp. Sparks started flying again, we met up in person and I proceeded to have an affair with Ricky while married to Jeremiah. I still love Ricky but I had no plans on leaving Jeremiah. Ricky feels no remorse about dating me because he feels as though Jeremiah "robbed" him of what he could have had with me and he needs to watch his pride as a man. True. In college, Jeremiah did tell me to make a choice between him and Ricky or else he would take it to the next level with some girl he was talking to at the time. I chose Jeremiah NOT because I didn't want that girl to have him but because I loved him too much to lose him even though I was in love with Ricky too. So, I guess Ricky is still bitter after all these years. After a few months of reconnecting with Ricky I ended up pregnant. I HAD to tell Jeremiah because I wasn't sure who the father was. Jeremiah was hurt and he packed up and moved out in August 2008 but we still remain legally married. Although I continue to sleep with Ricky, I wasn't ready to commit myself to him because I was still sad about separating from Jeremiah. Even when I gave birth to Ricky's son Daymond(the DNA test proved its is) in April 2009, I still didn't commit. In July 2009, I met Sayyid. He was single, sexy, smart, funny and sweet. He's 15 years my junior but he's VERY mature. Sayyid and I have been dating ever since then and we moved in together. I'm really in love with Sayyid and I gave birth to his daughter Sayyida(another DNA test confirmation). I'm going to admit that ever since Jeremiah and I separated, we would occasionally spend the night together, have sex and sometimes discuss reconciling. Just like I'm in a relationship with Sayyid, Jeremiah has a girlfriend of his own. Now, Jeremiah is sick of "playing games" with me, he told me if I want to give our marriage another chance he will dump his girlfriend Alyssa and I'll have to dump Sayyid. Or else, he's staying with Alyssa, I'm staying with Sayyid and we're getting a divorce. It's a hard decision, especially with all these children involved. I'm in love with Jeremiah, our marriage was wonderful but it was his ONE mistake with that stripper and my ONE mistake with Ricky that ruined it all. Not to mention, Jeremiah and I have two amazing kids who miss having their daddy home. I love Ricky with all my heart and I always looked back and felt bad about the way I betrayed him in college. I always wondered what would have happened if I married him instead. He NEVER would have wound up with such a witch for a wife. The more I look at the precious baby boy I have with Ricky it breaks me down and I cry. But I'm VERY happy with Sayyid and I love him so much. He gave me my fourth child and I gave him his first. I'm sure he knows that I still have feelings for my husband but he has NO clue that I'm still seeing Ricky but he does know about our child. I don't want to keep doing this to them, myself and my children. Whichever one I choose, the other two will be hurt. What would you do if you were me?
Singles & Dating - 18 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
I would make an appointment with a counselor. I'm being serious.
2 :
im not reading that whole thing. but from first paragraph. PICKONE> your to old to be a slut right now, like idk, your weird
3 :
Don't close your eyes then. But again what these guys are saying, it's too long.
4 :
I don't want to sound mean but if you think anybody is going to be all devastated about NOT being with someone with your past, you may be overestimating yourself. You have ruined too many lives (particularly the childrens' ) with your behaviour. Be honest with everybody and see who, if anybody, will forgive you and want to be with you.
5 :
I hope you know a lot of people on here won't read this, so if I were you I would see a counselor or therapist honestly. You won't get very many serious answers on here. Good luck!
6 :
If I was you I'd put more time into my kids and less time into my affairs. This is so messed up. I don't know how you'd be in love with three men at the same time. If I was fighting with one love and in love with another I'd have no time to sqeeze another one in. Just open a brotel and get paid for this shit
7 :
this is sick.
8 :
You can't please everyone. Good lord, I would highly suggest getting some counseling, you're in quite a mess here, and you're going to end up hurting your children because of this. Please, get help.
9 :
counselor
10 :
Ok Well since youve been dating ricky this whole time i think you should stay with him.. (at least if he knows about the kids and the other 2 men your still seeing...) Take your kids too ... if hes not ok with that then dont go with him your kids feelings are the most important but they will each probably pick thweir own fathers if you asked them.
11 :
2 options: Meet another guy and have another baby. OR - Keep your pants on and don't date anybody - take care of your kids and get therapy. Your choice - here is a hint - don't choose option one
12 :
Wow.... Well, your marriage is over. It's tainted. You probably wouldn't have got with Ricky if he hadn't cheated and betrayed you. So just cut it off with your husband. You may have an excellent chance with Ricky. He seems like a great guy, who just wants you for himself. If Ricky has never cheated on you, I say, Get with Ricky! He's your first love, you'll always love him, you've already been in a committed relationship before, so you have a good foundation already. Sayyid sounds like he's something new, fresh, exciting. He's just a distraction to get your mind off of the other two. He's a lot younger than you, he's probably an ego boost to you. He's still a young guy, he has a chance with someone else. Well, you might want to consider Sayyid, too. If he makes you really happy, then maybe he's the guy for you. Because heck, maybe you only care for Ricky now because you feel guilty? BUT, what will Sayyid think when he hears you're also with Ricky? You can't hide that from him anymore. The number one thing I can tell you is that whenever you feel hurt, you find someone else. I think you should go to counseling for this. It's not healthy for you, your partner(s), or your children. Just because a guy does something "bad" to you doesn't mean you need to fill the void with a whole other guy. I hope you understand that! Anyways, just honestly think of your feelings. You and your husband won't work. I'll tell you that. You might be "in love" with Ricky over guilty, and you may "love" Sayyid because he's something new and exciting. Maybe you need to make a clean break from them and just be a good mother, and find another guy later down the road, so things are less messy. Just on a side note, I hope you realize how difficult this will be in the future, when the kids get older, when you get in a deeper relationship with the one you choose, etc. Good luck!
13 :
A) That's way too long B) You need to pick, either way you've got kids with each one of these men. C) This is way to serious to be on here, you're old enough to deal with your own shit. Most of the people who ask about these things aren't yet out of their twenties and are most likely still teens. GROW UP.
14 :
As I'm sure you know life isn't easy and not everyone is gonna be pleased with the choices you make. You certainly shouldn't make your decision based on what you feel you owe either of the men, only what you feel. You feel like you screwed Ricky over, there's not a person alive who hasn't felt like that and a good portion of them did exactly what you did or something similar so you shouldn't really kick yourself over something you did so many years ago when you were still practically a kid and if Ricky was mature he wouldn't act like you owe it to him to cheat on your husband or boyfriend. While you may feel like you're acting like a teenager for being upset over this situation, you're not, your emotions know no age and neither does stress. It sounds to me like you need to just take a step back, reevaluate the situation and then make your choice. And keep in mind, your children are just as much of a choice as Ricky, Jeremiah and Sayyid. Keep them in mind as well.
15 :
Your priority should be your children, allowing all these different men in and out of their lives can't be healthy for them, and if you have three separate men on the go I really can't see how you can be putting your children first. Perhaps you should seek professional help, it is not your responsibility to feel guilty about who your ex chose to marry and say your ex did marry you, would YOU have been faithful to him? Probably not, and does that make you any better then her? You need to figure out what it is and who it is you want because the longer you drag it out the more it is you will hurt them. Set them free and allow them to find someone who will be faithful to them
16 :
First things first: Your children. They need you. All good mothers have one thing in common: They care more about their children than they care about themselves. Pur your love affairs aside for a month. Take care of your kids. Clear your head. Go to a psychologist. Get organized. I understand that love is a messy business. It's confusing, it hurts, it's exciting, and you want everything that you can't have. You need some time away from all of these men to think about it without distractions. Go on a vacation. Take your kids to DisneyLand. Find a female friend to discuss this with. Tell her how sexy and amazing and kind you think all three of them are and let her give you some unclouded advice. 1. Take care of your kids. 2. Go to a psychologist 3. Take a vacation AWAY FROM THE MEN. 4. Discuss this with a female friend. Good lucky, girlie. It sounds like a tough situation and it will take some work to get it taken care of.
17 :
First I would get the Divorce. Then try to make a desision to which one you want. The younger guy Sayyid from what you describe about him. He seems like a nice person with a good heart. And Rick is in the past and let the past stay their. I should know I did the samething with my Ex. Bad decision even tho i wounder what would it be like to have him as a husband. I know it will never happen. And I know you dont want to hurt anyone feelings. So divorce the husband, loose the ex, and stay with Sayyid at least with him its a new start. Hope everything go's good. ^_^
18 :
Before i start i have to say that you're old enough to be my mother so i cant see myself giving you advice on what to do on this situation. I'll go ahead and tell you what i think anyways because it seems like you need some help. I cant say that i've been in your situation because i haven't. I cant actually tell you who to choose because i'm not in the place to tell you that either. What i can say is the known of this situation, whats in front of you. I can tell you that what you did to Ricky back in college turned right back on you in the long run, when your husband cheated on you. You made the situation worst when you return the favor to your husband by being with Ricky and then also with Sayyid. Personally i think you should take a break with everybody and think about your children and whats best for them. Only have a relationship with your babies' daddys because of the children and no other reason. Focus on whats important and when you have that balanced then think about what you want when you're mind is clear. There's no easy way out of this situation i can tell you that much. You have to put on those 40 year old shoes and use your wisdom to fix things. Praying to God will help you figure out whats the best. Staying with your husband would be the ideal thing to do. Forgiving, and forgetting is the positive way and work things out. Again i cant tell you whats the right thing to do because there may not be one but just think it out clearly. I hope things work out i truly do. No judgment because we all do things we're not proud of and also we cant control who we fall in love with right?. Good Luck
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