How can I stop being jealous? Paranoid jealous?
Quick summary of the bits you need to know: My boyfriend had a really bad bout of manic bipolar this past summer. The mania got really bad and he left me then hooked up with a girl from high school that he had started talking to a lot on FB. We got back together said he had changed his ways. I believed him and it was true. Don't worry about details, just know where I'm coming from. Now we've been so busy with work and school and family that I feel we've grown apart since we haven't been seeing each other lately. He's moving into a new apartment, he heard it was available cause it was owned by this acquaintance of his on FB a couple weeks before. He gets it, Moves in, now when he posts something about it she's always got 2 cents to put. And is talking about how her ex boyfriend put the dents in the front door, and how he's jealous of my boyfriend because he's crazy and thinks they are cheating together. 1) I really don't like them talking about this all over facebook. 2) I am very jealous and it was the end of me and my boyfriends date night tonight and he reads the newest comment from her and answers it. Then when I'm telling him goodnight I see that just before he texted me he replied to another one of her comments. I know he's not cheating on me, because she moved 2000 miles away. But how can I get rid of this paranoia that he's going to leave me or she's trying to pry him away from me. I just find it so rude that they're discussing cheating and shit all over facebook and I can't seem to look away. It's really upsetting me, which I know is wrong and I want to know how to stop! Should I ask her to not talk about that stuff? Also I can't really confront him about it, because I trust him and I see him trying to steer the convo away but she keeps bringing up details and stuff. And if i were to confront him he would see it as I don't trust him. I really want to know how to either get rid of this ridiculous paranoid jealousy or how to stop this discussion of theirs if that's what you feel is necessary.
Psychology - 1 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Jealousy is a useless emotion. It doesn't help you or the person your involved with. And it looks bad. There's no concrete advice that's gonna help you with this powerfully negative emotion. All I can tell you is this..try to care a little less. Whatever happens is going to happen no matter what. And jealousy is only going to give the bearer grief, sadness, and the feeling that your losing control. Why let this person have that much power over you? Be strong and listen to your head not your heart. Unless you wanna continue to surround yourself with never ending drama? Good luck to you
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Saturday, September 28, 2013
Saturday, September 14, 2013
Husband issues-- what's really going on?
Husband issues-- what's really going on?
My husband has been acting very strange lately. We are actively trying to get pregnant. He is a physician so he has to work long hours, which I know stresses him out. The problem is, he is being very weird about things lately. The thing that set him off today was that I posted a link to a car I want to get (not realistic at the moment) on Facebook. I know I'm not getting a new car anytime soon, but I always do stuff like that on facebook-- it's fun to post things you like and all my friends do it. He got really mad about it and said that he wanted me to remove all of "his friends" from my facebook account because he didn't want them seeing things like that, which makes no sense to me. He also has been making me buy a lot of things lately. I own a store which hasn't made money yet (it's in it's first year) so I haven't been able to pay myself a salary yet. I make money by selling clothes and merchandise on ebay. Even though I do that, I still don't have much money personally. He will make me go spend $100 on groceries twice a week, plus pay both our cell phone bills and anything else I need to buy. The thing that makes me really upset is that he spends his own money frivolously on all sorts of stuff. He buys sports memorabilia, jetskis, home stereo equipment, a 70" TV, and other things like that. If I ever want to go shopping or anything, I have to use my own money. He never buys me anything "unnecessary". He never buys me birthday or anniversary gifts. I am just starting to feel like he doesn't really care and that I'm just the trophy wife. I really feel like I don't matter to him anymore, and he doesn't care about me as a person. He wants to have a baby as much as I do, but I feel like he just wants me to be the "birth mother". I am getting very depressed about it and don't know what to do. I know I may sound spoiled, but he's not being a proper husband. He doesn't pay any attention to me, interrupts me when I'm talking, and never lets me watch what I want to on tv. Everything in our house is the way he wants it and I have no say. If I move some furniture around, he'll make me move it back. I just don't know what to do or how to discuss this with him. He's a great guy when he pays attention to me, but it seems like he gets so wrapped up in his own life that he forgets that I have feelings too. It's true that he does pay MOST of the bills. He knows that I don't have the means to support myself fully, let alone chip in and help pay the mortgage. If I was making money, believe me, I would. I bought the store as an investment in OUR future, so that I would have an income. We do live separate lives. It's so frustrating to me because he sees no need to give me access to HIS bank account or HIS money. I know that he does pay for most things, but if I were a stay at home mom like my mom was, wouldn't he have to pay all of it? I just don't understand my life. Who said I married him for money? I don't need his money-- my parents have enough of it, I could have stayed with them. He was a different person when I married him.
Marriage & Divorce - 18 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
talk to him. who knows what's going through his brain.
2 :
talk to him about it and make him see.... what i have never been able to understand is why are you guys living "separate" lives when ur MARRIED? you guys should be paying bills together, go shopping together. there shoulnt be "his money" "your money". UR MARRIED and need to work together and make decisions.... and be supportive. so again i dont know how to help, i would just go talk to him, work on your marriage a little more before you have a child. you dont want to drag a kid in the combo if ur dealing with this kind of stuff.
3 :
whose paying your mortgage? your car? the important bill...he probably feels since he is putting a roof over your head then his deed is done. or like u should earn your own way. why would u try and get pegnant with someone who puts you down all the time and doesnt sound like he loves you? you sound like my grandma who is 85, miserable but a trophy wife. the facebook thing is wierd too he sounds controlling and possesive. doesnt he have sick patients to worry about? what a wierdo!!! I think you should communicate to him that you are not happy!
4 :
He doesn't see you as an equal which is not good. His reaction to the car thing was very immature. I have a long wish list that I know I will never get but it will never stop me from dreaming...he needs to grow up.
5 :
You must confront him. Talk back, complain, let him know how you feel about the relationship. Yes that might be risky but unless you take some risks the relationship will stagnate. Unless you are able to make him sit down and discuss some of the problems you have with him, nothing will change. This is how most marriages fail: one party fails to speak up. Do you really want him to determine your life? You must let him know what you expect. Check out my source and find out "How to Blow Your Top Safely."
6 :
Why did you marry him in the first place? Was it because he's a doctor? That's what you get when you marry for money. You should tell him you want to go to school and get a degree. That way, if the marriage ends, you'll have something to fall back on. I'm sure he could pay for schooling since it would help you make more money in the long run.
7 :
You need to tell him either he straighten his s.h.i.t out or you divorce him because you're not putting up with this crap.
8 :
i could not get past a grown women being on facebook interesting...and very telling
9 :
How long is "lately"? This guy is a classic control freak. Things are only going to get worse. If you aren't pregnant yet, then stop actively trying to get pregant. Get some BCPs if you have to. You are probably more right about just being the birth mother than you think. Make a plan, and then get out from this marriage. Control freaks gradually alienate you from your friends, family, and co-workers, until they are your only source of emotional support. Then they control you. Get out of this ASAP - otherwise, I can guarantee you'll wind up miserable.
10 :
wow this guy sounds like a dick, forget having ne kids with this asshole dump his ass and move on.
11 :
If you are NOT happy, DO NOT bring a child into the situation, try marital counseling and other resources, and if that works, great, but if it does not then it is time for a change. Please do not put a child in a situation of unhappiness, they do not ask to be born, and they do not deserve to be abused, or treated unfairly in any way. Tami Pepperman Victim/Child Advocate tamikay23@hotmail.com
12 :
get a journal , Works wonders in court! FOR EVERYTHING !!
13 :
let's be clear - people are what they are - they DO NOT CHANGE!! so if you don't like the way he is treating you and you have tried to explain it to him you have two choices - 1- accept him for what he is - selfish and self centered or 2- dump his butt
14 :
Seems controlling...I'm there not to the same extent but I"m there.
15 :
Yeah, he doesn't sound like a partner in a marriage does he. I would put the pregnancy plans on hold until he changes his ways. You could tell him that he needs to start being a true spouse or you will divorce him and take half of it all. And since you do not have any income, he will be paying you spousal support depending what state you live in. The majority of your marital assets(cash, cars, property, investements) should be in joint accounts and separate, equally funded individual accounts. He doesn't realize that half of everything he makes is yours does he? Make him understand that and things should start to change. If not, divorce papers and see what kind of tune he sings. You deserve better, he's holding you hostage via finances and is an abusive behavior. You're his wife! He needs to treat you as such.
16 :
You are just plain going to have to tell him you need to talk to him seriously, & set aside a specific day & time to do it. Don't let him wangle out of it, but it is necessary for you to have your say in just how you feel & what your feelings are. No, he is NOT treating you fairly from all you described. I mean come on, you live there too, you sure should at least have some say in where you at least want to move a piece of furniture! I'd tell him that at times, you wonder what you're even doing there, what good are you actually to him. He leads your very life & it seems like you cannot do anything w/o his approval. Even as far as telling you what to do on the computer. What does it matter what you put on it as long as you're not playing around or cheating on him. He should have no say in those ridiculous things he's nit picking on. I don't know what type practice he has, but if he keeps it up, he needs to go to a "head Dr." himself! You must talk to him & tell him how you at least feel about EVERYTHING. I'd even go as far as to tell him if he keeps putting you last in everything he does, that you're seriously thinking of going out on your own & finding someone who just might appreciate you more, someone who would at least treat you like a "normal" human being. You cannot keep being his personal puppet all your lives together. This is just not fair nor is it even normal. To be honest, I'd even think twice first about having this baby w/him. Is it just going to make matters better, or is it actually going to make matters worse! Give that one a good tho't too before you bring a child into the world & end up having a child suffer for it also. You've got to get these issues straightened out first before you have this child. You stated that he's a great guy when he pays attention to you, but just how often is that, or when is that?! You've got to lay all your cards out on the table & get things straightened out, & I wouldn't put it off. Now is the time. All the best to you...:)
17 :
Talk to him, and ask him why your buying everything when your in this relationship together. After all, you ARE both in this relationship. Partners have there fair share on money if they ARE fair. You could pay the cell phone bill for you, and buy the groceries on what you need rather than a set limit each week. And he could pay his cell phone bill, and pay the 2nd lot of shopping. I don't think your ready for a baby yet. I'd wait till the sea's less stormy. As in, your relationship isn't so rocky. You need to understand that having a baby won't heal this relationship, usually when adults have them through rough patches in a relationship, it makes it worse. Good luck!
18 :
People invest their money and time in things they care about. If he isnt investing either in you - then he isnt being the husband you will need if youhave a child together. Better tell him now - give him a chance to change. People can and do change -
Read more other entries :
My husband has been acting very strange lately. We are actively trying to get pregnant. He is a physician so he has to work long hours, which I know stresses him out. The problem is, he is being very weird about things lately. The thing that set him off today was that I posted a link to a car I want to get (not realistic at the moment) on Facebook. I know I'm not getting a new car anytime soon, but I always do stuff like that on facebook-- it's fun to post things you like and all my friends do it. He got really mad about it and said that he wanted me to remove all of "his friends" from my facebook account because he didn't want them seeing things like that, which makes no sense to me. He also has been making me buy a lot of things lately. I own a store which hasn't made money yet (it's in it's first year) so I haven't been able to pay myself a salary yet. I make money by selling clothes and merchandise on ebay. Even though I do that, I still don't have much money personally. He will make me go spend $100 on groceries twice a week, plus pay both our cell phone bills and anything else I need to buy. The thing that makes me really upset is that he spends his own money frivolously on all sorts of stuff. He buys sports memorabilia, jetskis, home stereo equipment, a 70" TV, and other things like that. If I ever want to go shopping or anything, I have to use my own money. He never buys me anything "unnecessary". He never buys me birthday or anniversary gifts. I am just starting to feel like he doesn't really care and that I'm just the trophy wife. I really feel like I don't matter to him anymore, and he doesn't care about me as a person. He wants to have a baby as much as I do, but I feel like he just wants me to be the "birth mother". I am getting very depressed about it and don't know what to do. I know I may sound spoiled, but he's not being a proper husband. He doesn't pay any attention to me, interrupts me when I'm talking, and never lets me watch what I want to on tv. Everything in our house is the way he wants it and I have no say. If I move some furniture around, he'll make me move it back. I just don't know what to do or how to discuss this with him. He's a great guy when he pays attention to me, but it seems like he gets so wrapped up in his own life that he forgets that I have feelings too. It's true that he does pay MOST of the bills. He knows that I don't have the means to support myself fully, let alone chip in and help pay the mortgage. If I was making money, believe me, I would. I bought the store as an investment in OUR future, so that I would have an income. We do live separate lives. It's so frustrating to me because he sees no need to give me access to HIS bank account or HIS money. I know that he does pay for most things, but if I were a stay at home mom like my mom was, wouldn't he have to pay all of it? I just don't understand my life. Who said I married him for money? I don't need his money-- my parents have enough of it, I could have stayed with them. He was a different person when I married him.
Marriage & Divorce - 18 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
talk to him. who knows what's going through his brain.
2 :
talk to him about it and make him see.... what i have never been able to understand is why are you guys living "separate" lives when ur MARRIED? you guys should be paying bills together, go shopping together. there shoulnt be "his money" "your money". UR MARRIED and need to work together and make decisions.... and be supportive. so again i dont know how to help, i would just go talk to him, work on your marriage a little more before you have a child. you dont want to drag a kid in the combo if ur dealing with this kind of stuff.
3 :
whose paying your mortgage? your car? the important bill...he probably feels since he is putting a roof over your head then his deed is done. or like u should earn your own way. why would u try and get pegnant with someone who puts you down all the time and doesnt sound like he loves you? you sound like my grandma who is 85, miserable but a trophy wife. the facebook thing is wierd too he sounds controlling and possesive. doesnt he have sick patients to worry about? what a wierdo!!! I think you should communicate to him that you are not happy!
4 :
He doesn't see you as an equal which is not good. His reaction to the car thing was very immature. I have a long wish list that I know I will never get but it will never stop me from dreaming...he needs to grow up.
5 :
You must confront him. Talk back, complain, let him know how you feel about the relationship. Yes that might be risky but unless you take some risks the relationship will stagnate. Unless you are able to make him sit down and discuss some of the problems you have with him, nothing will change. This is how most marriages fail: one party fails to speak up. Do you really want him to determine your life? You must let him know what you expect. Check out my source and find out "How to Blow Your Top Safely."
6 :
Why did you marry him in the first place? Was it because he's a doctor? That's what you get when you marry for money. You should tell him you want to go to school and get a degree. That way, if the marriage ends, you'll have something to fall back on. I'm sure he could pay for schooling since it would help you make more money in the long run.
7 :
You need to tell him either he straighten his s.h.i.t out or you divorce him because you're not putting up with this crap.
8 :
i could not get past a grown women being on facebook interesting...and very telling
9 :
How long is "lately"? This guy is a classic control freak. Things are only going to get worse. If you aren't pregnant yet, then stop actively trying to get pregant. Get some BCPs if you have to. You are probably more right about just being the birth mother than you think. Make a plan, and then get out from this marriage. Control freaks gradually alienate you from your friends, family, and co-workers, until they are your only source of emotional support. Then they control you. Get out of this ASAP - otherwise, I can guarantee you'll wind up miserable.
10 :
wow this guy sounds like a dick, forget having ne kids with this asshole dump his ass and move on.
11 :
If you are NOT happy, DO NOT bring a child into the situation, try marital counseling and other resources, and if that works, great, but if it does not then it is time for a change. Please do not put a child in a situation of unhappiness, they do not ask to be born, and they do not deserve to be abused, or treated unfairly in any way. Tami Pepperman Victim/Child Advocate tamikay23@hotmail.com
12 :
get a journal , Works wonders in court! FOR EVERYTHING !!
13 :
let's be clear - people are what they are - they DO NOT CHANGE!! so if you don't like the way he is treating you and you have tried to explain it to him you have two choices - 1- accept him for what he is - selfish and self centered or 2- dump his butt
14 :
Seems controlling...I'm there not to the same extent but I"m there.
15 :
Yeah, he doesn't sound like a partner in a marriage does he. I would put the pregnancy plans on hold until he changes his ways. You could tell him that he needs to start being a true spouse or you will divorce him and take half of it all. And since you do not have any income, he will be paying you spousal support depending what state you live in. The majority of your marital assets(cash, cars, property, investements) should be in joint accounts and separate, equally funded individual accounts. He doesn't realize that half of everything he makes is yours does he? Make him understand that and things should start to change. If not, divorce papers and see what kind of tune he sings. You deserve better, he's holding you hostage via finances and is an abusive behavior. You're his wife! He needs to treat you as such.
16 :
You are just plain going to have to tell him you need to talk to him seriously, & set aside a specific day & time to do it. Don't let him wangle out of it, but it is necessary for you to have your say in just how you feel & what your feelings are. No, he is NOT treating you fairly from all you described. I mean come on, you live there too, you sure should at least have some say in where you at least want to move a piece of furniture! I'd tell him that at times, you wonder what you're even doing there, what good are you actually to him. He leads your very life & it seems like you cannot do anything w/o his approval. Even as far as telling you what to do on the computer. What does it matter what you put on it as long as you're not playing around or cheating on him. He should have no say in those ridiculous things he's nit picking on. I don't know what type practice he has, but if he keeps it up, he needs to go to a "head Dr." himself! You must talk to him & tell him how you at least feel about EVERYTHING. I'd even go as far as to tell him if he keeps putting you last in everything he does, that you're seriously thinking of going out on your own & finding someone who just might appreciate you more, someone who would at least treat you like a "normal" human being. You cannot keep being his personal puppet all your lives together. This is just not fair nor is it even normal. To be honest, I'd even think twice first about having this baby w/him. Is it just going to make matters better, or is it actually going to make matters worse! Give that one a good tho't too before you bring a child into the world & end up having a child suffer for it also. You've got to get these issues straightened out first before you have this child. You stated that he's a great guy when he pays attention to you, but just how often is that, or when is that?! You've got to lay all your cards out on the table & get things straightened out, & I wouldn't put it off. Now is the time. All the best to you...:)
17 :
Talk to him, and ask him why your buying everything when your in this relationship together. After all, you ARE both in this relationship. Partners have there fair share on money if they ARE fair. You could pay the cell phone bill for you, and buy the groceries on what you need rather than a set limit each week. And he could pay his cell phone bill, and pay the 2nd lot of shopping. I don't think your ready for a baby yet. I'd wait till the sea's less stormy. As in, your relationship isn't so rocky. You need to understand that having a baby won't heal this relationship, usually when adults have them through rough patches in a relationship, it makes it worse. Good luck!
18 :
People invest their money and time in things they care about. If he isnt investing either in you - then he isnt being the husband you will need if youhave a child together. Better tell him now - give him a chance to change. People can and do change -
Read more other entries :
Saturday, September 7, 2013
Please analyze my current situation (10 pts for the most complete, well thought out answer)?
Please analyze my current situation (10 pts for the most complete, well thought out answer)?
So my ex boyfriend( who I’ll call Kevin) and I were together for a whole year. We celebrated our one-year anniversary the day before new years day. Things seemed so wonderful, but we were having certain issues that definitely needed to be addressed and resolved. We were going to work them out, we said how much we loved each other, etc. That day, he gave me a bracelet, read me a poem about how much he loved me, mentioned things we should do together in the future, etc. I know his parents had issues with me and he was somewhat influenced by them. They are very intense and get overly involved. But anyway Kevin loved me. So on New Years day after that entire day we spent together, i thought he was going to come to my house so we can discuss the problems. Instead he confusingly breaks up with me. It was pretty nasty... Later that night he said on the phone that he honestly thinks we’re just better off as friends. But since then he’s been avoiding me in school. It’s so awkward and uncomfortable if we walk past each other. I’ve waved politely, but he pretends not to see me. So a couple weeks after the break up, I visited my grandparents in Florida, which was a great getaway. I also visited my great friend Peter from my sleepaway camp. We had a thing one summer but it didn’t go that far and we’re just great friends now and both cool. So anyway I took so many pictures with him (arm-in-arm, hugging, etc. and posted them on facebook). We’re just best friends hugging, but I thought Kevin might get the wrong impression. By the way I removed my relationship status after the break up. The next day I noticed that Kevin removed me as a friend, and put that he’s in a relationship with one of his best friends Rachel. Rachel is very vulnerable and will say yes to pretty much anyone. However, Kevin has never been attracted to her and she is totally not his type like that. We haven’t really spoke since New Years day, and things just feel so uncomfortable when I see him in school. I don’t get it! He says he loves me, then he doesn’t, then he wants to be friends, now he’s shutting me out completely?!?!?! Please analyze my current situation bc I just have no closure and it’s been really difficult. Please don’t just say I need to move on bc I know I do. I’m making progress as time goes on. We’re both 16 by the way.
Singles & Dating - 3 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
i'm going through a break up too so i know where you're coming from. chances are he saw the pictures of you being close with that guy and got jealous. i think he still loves you and is just trying to get back at you so he got a new girlfriend. he's definitely not over you. he probably meant what he said when he said he wanted to be friends but found that in reality it's much more difficult than it seems. i think you should talk to him about it. just ask what's going on with him getting a new gf and just a couple weeks earlier he proclaimed his love for you. i think he still does love you and his parents are just getting to him. i think you should talk it out.
2 :
First of all I want to say I'm sorry you're going through that...You said things were wonderful, then basically out of nowhere he breaks up with you, and that he was influenced by his parents. Maybe he talked to his parents about the problems you guys were having and since his parents had issues with you, they might have told him to break up with you or something along those lines. And him seeing the pictures on facebook he probably thought you moved on already and it probably made him sad or upset so he removed you as a friend. He might be using Rachel as a rebound girl to try and get over you. But after you guys were together for a year, I doubt that he would be over you that fast. I'm sure he still has feelings for you, he just doesn't know what to do or doesn't know how to tell you whats going on with him. Maybe you can ask a mutual friend about why he did that since he's not talking to you. Either way, I hope things work out for you and you at least get SOME closure. Good luck hun!
3 :
From my perspective of the situation it sounds like you two definitely need to talk. I don't know why he broke up with you, but if it bothers you this its something to find out. Ask him if you can talk to him alone. Try not to make it too much of an oppressive setting. Try somewhere open and airy so he doesn't feel trapped or interrogated. When you talk to him, even when you ask to talk to him, make sure you're asking and not demanding the questions be answered. Stay calm and try not to get emotional if you can help it. Crying or getting angry might push him away. Now you mentioned that the girl Rachel is one of his best friends? If they're that close its probably because they have compatible personalities. You say you don't think she's his type but maybe they really hit it off. Its hard to admit but we don't always know everything about the people we love. Also people change. Lastly, If he offers you a reason after you talk you may have to just accept it. You can tell him you don't understand and ask for further explanation. You don't want to go much farther than that though. You have to let him go. Try to salvage a friendship from this situation. I don't necessarily mean "move on" but maybe if he has enough space to move around he can move back to you. Hope this helps. Good luck and use your intuition.
Read more other entries :
So my ex boyfriend( who I’ll call Kevin) and I were together for a whole year. We celebrated our one-year anniversary the day before new years day. Things seemed so wonderful, but we were having certain issues that definitely needed to be addressed and resolved. We were going to work them out, we said how much we loved each other, etc. That day, he gave me a bracelet, read me a poem about how much he loved me, mentioned things we should do together in the future, etc. I know his parents had issues with me and he was somewhat influenced by them. They are very intense and get overly involved. But anyway Kevin loved me. So on New Years day after that entire day we spent together, i thought he was going to come to my house so we can discuss the problems. Instead he confusingly breaks up with me. It was pretty nasty... Later that night he said on the phone that he honestly thinks we’re just better off as friends. But since then he’s been avoiding me in school. It’s so awkward and uncomfortable if we walk past each other. I’ve waved politely, but he pretends not to see me. So a couple weeks after the break up, I visited my grandparents in Florida, which was a great getaway. I also visited my great friend Peter from my sleepaway camp. We had a thing one summer but it didn’t go that far and we’re just great friends now and both cool. So anyway I took so many pictures with him (arm-in-arm, hugging, etc. and posted them on facebook). We’re just best friends hugging, but I thought Kevin might get the wrong impression. By the way I removed my relationship status after the break up. The next day I noticed that Kevin removed me as a friend, and put that he’s in a relationship with one of his best friends Rachel. Rachel is very vulnerable and will say yes to pretty much anyone. However, Kevin has never been attracted to her and she is totally not his type like that. We haven’t really spoke since New Years day, and things just feel so uncomfortable when I see him in school. I don’t get it! He says he loves me, then he doesn’t, then he wants to be friends, now he’s shutting me out completely?!?!?! Please analyze my current situation bc I just have no closure and it’s been really difficult. Please don’t just say I need to move on bc I know I do. I’m making progress as time goes on. We’re both 16 by the way.
Singles & Dating - 3 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
i'm going through a break up too so i know where you're coming from. chances are he saw the pictures of you being close with that guy and got jealous. i think he still loves you and is just trying to get back at you so he got a new girlfriend. he's definitely not over you. he probably meant what he said when he said he wanted to be friends but found that in reality it's much more difficult than it seems. i think you should talk to him about it. just ask what's going on with him getting a new gf and just a couple weeks earlier he proclaimed his love for you. i think he still does love you and his parents are just getting to him. i think you should talk it out.
2 :
First of all I want to say I'm sorry you're going through that...You said things were wonderful, then basically out of nowhere he breaks up with you, and that he was influenced by his parents. Maybe he talked to his parents about the problems you guys were having and since his parents had issues with you, they might have told him to break up with you or something along those lines. And him seeing the pictures on facebook he probably thought you moved on already and it probably made him sad or upset so he removed you as a friend. He might be using Rachel as a rebound girl to try and get over you. But after you guys were together for a year, I doubt that he would be over you that fast. I'm sure he still has feelings for you, he just doesn't know what to do or doesn't know how to tell you whats going on with him. Maybe you can ask a mutual friend about why he did that since he's not talking to you. Either way, I hope things work out for you and you at least get SOME closure. Good luck hun!
3 :
From my perspective of the situation it sounds like you two definitely need to talk. I don't know why he broke up with you, but if it bothers you this its something to find out. Ask him if you can talk to him alone. Try not to make it too much of an oppressive setting. Try somewhere open and airy so he doesn't feel trapped or interrogated. When you talk to him, even when you ask to talk to him, make sure you're asking and not demanding the questions be answered. Stay calm and try not to get emotional if you can help it. Crying or getting angry might push him away. Now you mentioned that the girl Rachel is one of his best friends? If they're that close its probably because they have compatible personalities. You say you don't think she's his type but maybe they really hit it off. Its hard to admit but we don't always know everything about the people we love. Also people change. Lastly, If he offers you a reason after you talk you may have to just accept it. You can tell him you don't understand and ask for further explanation. You don't want to go much farther than that though. You have to let him go. Try to salvage a friendship from this situation. I don't necessarily mean "move on" but maybe if he has enough space to move around he can move back to you. Hope this helps. Good luck and use your intuition.
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Sunday, September 1, 2013
Should I be concerned or am i being stupid?
Should I be concerned or am i being stupid?
i am going out with this one guy who i really really have feelings for. we've been going out for 2 weeks almost. one day we were talking about ex-girlfriends(which i clearly is not the best topic to discuss with a new bf) and the conversation went to whats the longest relationship you've been in and his reply was 3 months. so naturally in a total casual way i asked who it was. and he put her name with a smiley face and nothing else. i found it rather odd and on her facebook there is a couple pictures where hes commented on them saying stuff like "OMG YOUR GORGEOUS" and "I missss u so much!" he put these comments on before we were going out but i cant help but feel he still may have feelings for her. am i wrong and am i thinking into it too much? because when i brought up if he still had feelings for any past relationships he said no, but its not like i was really expecting a yes out of him. no im not going out of my way to stalk anyone and their pictures, the only reason why i noticed is because she was my friend too that i haven't seen in awhile and i was going to comment on one of her pictures and happened to see it. i don't want to bring it up again because ill feel noisy. what should i do? i don't know how to feel about this. but i cant help but feel a slight bit of jealousy. mind u, they went out almost 3 years ago but the comment were this year...
Friends - 6 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Sounds fishy, don't give him your all untill your sure you are his no 1
2 :
Of course he probably still has feelings for her. I will be honest, two weeks is not very much and it would be very natural and normal for him to still have feelings for other girls. He has not had enough time to devote all of those emotions to you yet. Be patient and let it go unless you think he is cheating. Eventually, he will grow to like you more or less and you will either get stronger or break up.
3 :
He's commented on her and how she looks. He's gotta still have feelings for her or be wouldn't have written that
4 :
Whoa @ the massive wall of text you got there. My bf is on his ex's facebook. All you needed was seven words. And yes you're being stupid.
5 :
As u know no guy can forget the ex of his life nor a girl can do. Waht u need to do is if he's a really genuine guy who has feeings fr u and devotes all his time to u then u go ahead :) give him a chance. AND please dont let ur past bother ur present, it can be worse. all the best to u both.
6 :
First of all facebook stalking is normal lol! I should know because my fiance taught me how. I love the girl I am with to death but like you if something is bothering me I will work to fix it. When I met her I noticed the same things and didnt say anything. After a month or two I said something casual about why I never comment on her pics "because it looks weird with me commenting after your ex bf". As soon as I mentioned that she deleted everything and now almost two years later we are going to ge married and she is the best thing ever. But..... Those pics and comments had to go.
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i am going out with this one guy who i really really have feelings for. we've been going out for 2 weeks almost. one day we were talking about ex-girlfriends(which i clearly is not the best topic to discuss with a new bf) and the conversation went to whats the longest relationship you've been in and his reply was 3 months. so naturally in a total casual way i asked who it was. and he put her name with a smiley face and nothing else. i found it rather odd and on her facebook there is a couple pictures where hes commented on them saying stuff like "OMG YOUR GORGEOUS" and "I missss u so much!" he put these comments on before we were going out but i cant help but feel he still may have feelings for her. am i wrong and am i thinking into it too much? because when i brought up if he still had feelings for any past relationships he said no, but its not like i was really expecting a yes out of him. no im not going out of my way to stalk anyone and their pictures, the only reason why i noticed is because she was my friend too that i haven't seen in awhile and i was going to comment on one of her pictures and happened to see it. i don't want to bring it up again because ill feel noisy. what should i do? i don't know how to feel about this. but i cant help but feel a slight bit of jealousy. mind u, they went out almost 3 years ago but the comment were this year...
Friends - 6 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Sounds fishy, don't give him your all untill your sure you are his no 1
2 :
Of course he probably still has feelings for her. I will be honest, two weeks is not very much and it would be very natural and normal for him to still have feelings for other girls. He has not had enough time to devote all of those emotions to you yet. Be patient and let it go unless you think he is cheating. Eventually, he will grow to like you more or less and you will either get stronger or break up.
3 :
He's commented on her and how she looks. He's gotta still have feelings for her or be wouldn't have written that
4 :
Whoa @ the massive wall of text you got there. My bf is on his ex's facebook. All you needed was seven words. And yes you're being stupid.
5 :
As u know no guy can forget the ex of his life nor a girl can do. Waht u need to do is if he's a really genuine guy who has feeings fr u and devotes all his time to u then u go ahead :) give him a chance. AND please dont let ur past bother ur present, it can be worse. all the best to u both.
6 :
First of all facebook stalking is normal lol! I should know because my fiance taught me how. I love the girl I am with to death but like you if something is bothering me I will work to fix it. When I met her I noticed the same things and didnt say anything. After a month or two I said something casual about why I never comment on her pics "because it looks weird with me commenting after your ex bf". As soon as I mentioned that she deleted everything and now almost two years later we are going to ge married and she is the best thing ever. But..... Those pics and comments had to go.
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