Help Getting My Ex-GF. Broke up 5 Months Ago.. Now Talking Again.. Complicated Though..?
I was a jerk.. i've worked on a lot on the time that she and I broke up.. We broke up 5 months ago we stopped talking after because she blocked me off ..I worked on myself. She was hurt because I was selfish, rude, controlling, jealous and a jerk. I never laid my hands on her or anything like that but I had a short temper.. I still have my temper but I have my control of it.. we split up.. she didn't want to talk to me or anything. Last month (December) she sent me a message on facebook. We're still befriended on facebook. She calls me, but she calls me private as she also changed her phone number after the bad break up because I was really trying to fix the relationship. (When she calls its private and she calls almost every night and falls asleep on the phone like we used to do when we were together). We talk now but I guess it's under her terms. I've told her I still love her and she has told me she does to but she barely tells me how she really feels. I do want her back but I don't know what to do to show her that I have changed. We were supposed to actually go to Church on Sunday and have breakfast after but the bad luck... I caught a stomach virus Saturday night going into Sunday.. I couldn't see her, we rescheduled for this weekend but she said she has plans after Church. What can I do? On AOL messenger she and I were discussing things then we got into a little discussion.. I later told her that I was trying to make her happy again..she said "yeah too little too late...you need to try harder".. I answered "I'm trying to but how can I if you don't let me, I mean how can I walk through a doorway if the door is closed" she said use that analogy and FIND A KEY..What can I do to fix this situation? How can I get her back? What did she really mean by that? It's kind of hard to understand because I really love her and was happy with her until I acted up we both stopped being happy and I don't plan to repeat that EVER again. I learned from my mistakes. I am 20 and she is 19. But I am into that commitment stuff... I always was ever since I saw Chandler and Monica in Friends. Years back. I wanted just that. I was hurt too many times which is why I had trust issues and can be insecure which is what damaged this relationship. And to the others THANKS! but how can I do all these things? We haven't seen each other.. I can't text her because I don't have her number we just sometimes talk through AIM and when she calls me. I try to kinda make her tell me that she loves me by telling her that I love her but she says "I know you do". And she doesnt want me to push her to tell me because then she will stop talking to me again and I was really close of falling off the edge because she said I was pushing her.. I don't know if she is gonna but I was really just venting to her because we were always there for each other and I told her how I felt about everything and she said I was pushing her.. She doesn't want to give me her number because she says not yet.. "we're not friends" I think she's playing hard to get.. But if we're not friends then we wouldn't speak.. She just doesn't want to admit it. HELP!!
Other - Family & Relationships - 4 Answers
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1 :
no one going to answer this question. just saying.
2 :
mikeofny you are getting what you deserve. when you be mean to some one especially a woman you need all the hurt you can get because there are too many guys like you running around never getting pay back. so you have to take what she is dishing out until she decides what she want to do with you. the problem is that she does not trust you and until she feels like she can you will only get what you are getting and you can not make her take you back until she feels like it she is hurting and that is because at one time she cared a lot or even loved you a lot and by you being the things that you said you were and doing what you did you hurt her. if she do come back to you it will never be the same again. and if you have a short temper are you sure that you are in TOTAL control of it? if not you can mess up again. so i would suggest that when you talk to her be calm and do not try to make her say anything or what you want her to say because that in itself is controlling. she is her own person and you can see from what she did and how she is controlling her feelings you can not make her do anything that she do not want to do. it might take some time for you to get her back but in the meantime you should keep working on yourself because if she comes back to you you will have to be a completely new you. and if she choose to just be friends value her friendship and then you maybe able to work from there and get her back because through friendship she can see if you have changed. and if you, love her and miss her don't force anything you say this is hard work yes it is but you made it hard, so go to work
3 :
You're being way too impatient. If she gets a hint of this impatience you will scare her away. She is treading very slowly & carefully to see how it could develop and to see if you really have changed or if you just think you have or if you're just saying it to get her back. It is normal for her to be wary & hesitant and take her time to see if she can actually trust you. Unless you want to scare her away, you have to accept this completely & just go with the contact she wants for now if you want to keep it open. Stop dwelling on it & winding your mind up as she'll pick up on it.
4 :
Mike your going to half to slow down my friend, do not keep after her to get back with you, for all you will do is make things a little harder for her to believe what you tell her. I no you may want her back, but you have got to let her be the one to say the three words you want to hear, I Love You. So for starters stop telling her you do, then she may wonder why you haven. Let her no she has all the time in the World to decide on you two.And keep proving to her you have change from what you used to be. If she tells you she has got other plans do not let it get to you, but in stead say something like Oh that's okay just let me no when your free.This will make her think, about you saying you have change, You have just got to show her you have. There are things in a girl life thy that Love and that's to be treated like a woman and that you Trust them, this comes before Love for with out the Trust you never will have Love. Good Luck
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