What to do with financial baggage from before marriage, during marriage?
This is definitely something couples should talk about before marriage. (Skip to the end for the question if u don't like to read because this is a long story) I did not do this, now its the only arguments we have ever had in our entire relationship and its taking a toll on me!! No matter I would still have loved him and married him, but it still should be discussed prior too! Here's the story my loving caring perfect for me husband is amazing, but financially he is very irresponsible. I knew he had bills but he failed to fully inform me how bad he was in the hole, when I informed him on the bills I had prior to marriage. I take care of my own bills that i had prior to our marriage and so does he here is the biggest problem. He was in a 3 year relationship before he was with me. In this relationship he was living the marriage life-style without being married, sharing a bank account, credit cards, rent, car etc. etc. He racked up on debt with his x and failed to think hmm what if this doesn't work out its very easy to just walk away we aren't married! Anyway he took out a debt consolidation loan jointly with her to resolve their stupid financial mistakes. They were living beyond their means and it backfired. So of coarse they split and what happens... HELL! They now had to solve what was what! He basically took the bills with his name and she took the ones with hers ignoring the ones they had jointly. So when we start dating she gets angry of coarse because she wants him back and he makes it plainly obvious that he was going to choose me (they weren't together when we met but she was still fighting to get him back he is a really good guy just not financially lol) , so now she is a woman scorned(hell hath no fury). So he then joins the army while in the basic he sent her three checks to pay their debt consolidation loan. I of coarse advise against this reminding him of how hurt and angry she is!! No he didn't listen she took that money paid her rent and went on a vacation to the beach, she went out with a bang and still has him hanging by the neck with this loan or should i say hanging by the balls! He also has a closed (so far overdrawn they said hell no u cant keep this account open) suntrust account with her, that he jointly owned and still jointly owes money on! So when he gets out of basic ait then airborne we get married about a month later. As we are planning for our fairytale love future together we start the topic of bills, the drama with us to now begins...prior to this we had never had a serious argument besides the petty why didn't u call or call back stuff! I basically(during arguing) tell him he needs to take care of it because its going to affect us getting anything such as a house or car later and I feel like he kept a lot of this from me before when we discussed our bills prior to marriage and he left out a lot a whole lot! I don't know if he was embarrassed but I still feel it should have been discussed. So I tell him to call her and all of the bills they share and straighten things out. Results: Citifinancial will not divide the loan but because he explained him trying to pay but his x pocketing the money then being in training he was in a hard place, so they put him in good standing with the account and set him up with decent payments. Then he talked to his x and she said how much she could pay a month. With the suntrust he told her he would get back to her but when he tried she didn't answer its been 4 days since he talked to her and she has yet to answer so i went on her facebook its public so any1 can see (i love facebook) and her status read " i wonder if i don't respond for 2 days... will he get the point." this was written yesterday. So me knowing how an angry woman can be i don't believe she is going to pay without legal action. Here are my questions: - Is this a matter for small claims court? -Am I wrong for telling him I want to be in charge of paying all the bills, and I will come to him every time one of us gets paid and tell him what I will be paying, but I will be the one physically in charge of doing it? I think he feels emasculated by me saying I don't think he can handle the bills! -Was I wrong for opening a joint savings account for both of us to put money into ( he didn't know it was going to be joint he thought it was going to be for me but he put money in it also. then he open a checking with the same bank later, even though he said he wanted to do it he felt i should have at least let him know) -How does my husband file against her? (requesting her to pay half of the loan minus any bills or purchases that are proven to be his) -what would be the best evidence to bring to court? - what if she is ordered to pay at court but time goes by and she still hasn't paid? how long is she given to pay it? -do u think taking her to court as I have been suggesting for the past 2 months is a http://www.OnlineBusinessMall.com- website did not help whatsoever lol but thanks for trying http://carekorner.com same as other website no help but again thanks http://www.lifeplanz.com/ lol i don't need a job i need my questions answered
Personal Finance - 3 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Calling the creditors and asking them to split the loans between your husband and his ex isn't going to help - they aren't going to do it. Each of them is legally responsible for the entire amounts of any joint debts, and the creditors will get it from whoever they can get it from. And what would you expect from small claims court? You/he has no case there either. Yes this should have all been clear before you were married, but that doesn't help now. You'd be wise to keep your own finances separate from your husband's (NO joint accounts) until this is all paid off.
2 :
Hi Unfortunately most of the companies online that offer debt relief are scams.I can suggest you one of them that really works... no doubt. They helped me to save more than 30% ... If you are serious about that, Go to http://DebtHelper.info Hope that was helpful
3 :
I didnt want to read your long as hell question but saw ur confused about money. Hit up militaryonesource.com or call them. they have tons of resources and you talk to real people. its all free for military
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