From a guy's point of view, was this a ploy to get in my pants?
This guy that I went to high school with found me on myspace, added me as a friend, then sent me a message saying, "Always wanted to talk to you in high school, but was too shy." I was shocked because I had no idea he even knew who I was. We didn't know each other back then and never talked. He kept wanting to get together, but I never said anything. Then I found out he was leaving that states to go overseas for a job, so I finally gave him my number. We went out, had dinner. Then the week after he texted me saying he as "horny." I texted back and said, "Me too." So, we had sex the second time we got together. The night before he left the states, he texted me again and asked me if I wanted to go down on him, I said I couldn't and that was that. He said that I could visit him and when he got back we could "discuss" it. I was keeping in touch with him on facebook and I was writing to him saying stuff how much I missed him, how are you, etc, etc. He said that he missed me too. At first he replied to my messages, then he stopped writing. Then as a joke I wrote him a comment on his page and said, "Where's your woman?" He got pissed and deleted me. I apologized and wouldn't take it back. Later he said the reason he deleted me was because I was being obsessive and posessive and everything that I've written to him proves that theory. I just wrote him messages that I missed him, happy holidays, if he liked the pictures that I posted. It wasn't like him to just cut me off like that. I found out that he got married last month. I had no idea he was seeing someone. He could've at least told me he was in a relationship, then I would've stopped writing. Guys, what do you think about this? Did just use me?
Singles & Dating - 7 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
I've only read the first sentence and that's all I have to read to know that guy just totally used you.
2 :
Used you.
3 :
Get a grip, grow up, and think about whether any guy respects any girls with morals like yours.
4 :
What females need to understand is if a guy tries to get sexual with you before you date him then yes he is using you. if you like a guy and want to date then dont give it up until you know thats not all he wants.
5 :
unfortunately, yes i do think he used you. i'm so sorry hun. learn from your mistake and move on from him. he's a dead end. good luck!
6 :
Why are you banging guys you barely know on the 2nd date, that was your very first and huge mistake...It's nice when they tell you sweet things but just because you're both horny doesn't mean you have to have sex with a guy who says i wish i could have spoke to you when i was in high school. He used you and cheated on his hidden gf. What a great guy......
7 :
Yes...he used you...but you gave it up on the 2nd date...so..I think it all balances out. Just let it go, and learn not to drop your panties so early in a relationship, if you're gonna feel bad about it afterwards.
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Monday, April 28, 2014
Monday, April 14, 2014
Should I risk opening connections with a guy I personally find annoying in order to set him up with my friend?
Should I risk opening connections with a guy I personally find annoying in order to set him up with my friend?
There's a guy. Let's call him John. John apparently had a big crush on me in high school and decided to friend me on Facebook about 6 years later and tell me. He has indicated interest in me now, I have told him I am not interested, and he rescinded his interest. Now he says he only ever wanted to be friends, but does not seem to get the (sometimes very blatant) hint that I do not want to be friends with him. I find him highly annoying and make no attempt to disguise this. He very frequently IMs me on Facebook just to say "hey" and then "what's up" (if I respond) without actually having anything further to discuss after that point. I am thisclose to just removing his ass from my friend list and telling him to never contact me again. However, I have this other good friend who we will call Debbie. Debbie is not an unattractive girl but she is what some people might also find to be somewhat annoying. I suspect I am her only good friend because she clings to me desperately in social situations and seems to rely entirely upon me in order to even have a social life. She could also really use a guy in her life, as she has low self esteem and is very shy with guys and I think it might give her some confidence to have some male attention for a little while. Also, for the love of god, the woman needs to get laid. So obviously it has occurred to me that I might be able to fix these two up. John would be off my back if he takes to Debbie, and Debbie would be a bit happier if the two of them hit it off. The problem is that I'm unsure as to how to go about this. It seems to me that the best, most polite thing to do would be to invite both of them out and introduce them in person. (A friend or two said I should just give them each other's contact info but that seems unclassy to me and I feel that would make it uncomfortable for her because she is quite shy.) But if it's just me and the two of them, I foresee him forgetting which of us he's with, and her shyly fading into the background, leaving him to think he is on a date with me! (Or even that I invited him as MY friend because I WANT to hang out with him.) There was another guy I was hoping I might be able to invite for myself by this point but that didn't exactly work out for me. There's another guy I'm currently scoping but I don't know how that's going to turn out either. So, should I just buck up and invite the two of them out with me and endure what will undoubtedly be an awkward situation for myself, or should I wait until I can invite a guy to hang out with ME leaving the two of them together? Or should I just invite another girl friend and tell her to stick with me? The other problem is that if I invite John I fear he will take that as some warped sign that I have some interest in him. In fact when I suggested that he might hit it off with my friend (when he was hitting on me) he was all, "OMG you really DO want to be friends with me, I'm so happy!!" I've already told him off in the past (and very bluntly told him I do NOT want to be friends) and yet he continued to IM me, sure that I would "come around" eventually and now he thinks I want to be friends. I do not want this guy to think I have any interest in a personal friendship with him but it could turn out to be a good thing for Debbie.
Etiquette - 1 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
I only read your initial question and will advise you not to play matchmaker. If usually ends in disaster. And judging by the length of your question, you don't need anymore problems.
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There's a guy. Let's call him John. John apparently had a big crush on me in high school and decided to friend me on Facebook about 6 years later and tell me. He has indicated interest in me now, I have told him I am not interested, and he rescinded his interest. Now he says he only ever wanted to be friends, but does not seem to get the (sometimes very blatant) hint that I do not want to be friends with him. I find him highly annoying and make no attempt to disguise this. He very frequently IMs me on Facebook just to say "hey" and then "what's up" (if I respond) without actually having anything further to discuss after that point. I am thisclose to just removing his ass from my friend list and telling him to never contact me again. However, I have this other good friend who we will call Debbie. Debbie is not an unattractive girl but she is what some people might also find to be somewhat annoying. I suspect I am her only good friend because she clings to me desperately in social situations and seems to rely entirely upon me in order to even have a social life. She could also really use a guy in her life, as she has low self esteem and is very shy with guys and I think it might give her some confidence to have some male attention for a little while. Also, for the love of god, the woman needs to get laid. So obviously it has occurred to me that I might be able to fix these two up. John would be off my back if he takes to Debbie, and Debbie would be a bit happier if the two of them hit it off. The problem is that I'm unsure as to how to go about this. It seems to me that the best, most polite thing to do would be to invite both of them out and introduce them in person. (A friend or two said I should just give them each other's contact info but that seems unclassy to me and I feel that would make it uncomfortable for her because she is quite shy.) But if it's just me and the two of them, I foresee him forgetting which of us he's with, and her shyly fading into the background, leaving him to think he is on a date with me! (Or even that I invited him as MY friend because I WANT to hang out with him.) There was another guy I was hoping I might be able to invite for myself by this point but that didn't exactly work out for me. There's another guy I'm currently scoping but I don't know how that's going to turn out either. So, should I just buck up and invite the two of them out with me and endure what will undoubtedly be an awkward situation for myself, or should I wait until I can invite a guy to hang out with ME leaving the two of them together? Or should I just invite another girl friend and tell her to stick with me? The other problem is that if I invite John I fear he will take that as some warped sign that I have some interest in him. In fact when I suggested that he might hit it off with my friend (when he was hitting on me) he was all, "OMG you really DO want to be friends with me, I'm so happy!!" I've already told him off in the past (and very bluntly told him I do NOT want to be friends) and yet he continued to IM me, sure that I would "come around" eventually and now he thinks I want to be friends. I do not want this guy to think I have any interest in a personal friendship with him but it could turn out to be a good thing for Debbie.
Etiquette - 1 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
I only read your initial question and will advise you not to play matchmaker. If usually ends in disaster. And judging by the length of your question, you don't need anymore problems.
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Monday, April 7, 2014
Being around my boyfriend makes me sad and irritated, what should I do at this point?
Being around my boyfriend makes me sad and irritated, what should I do at this point?
Hi, lately I've been having trouble with my boyfriend of 5 months. We began dating in high school and now we are in college together. He is Asian and I am white, and he joined an Asian club and now the majority of his friends are of Asian culture. That does not bother me whatsoever, but lately I've been having feelings of inadequacy. I feel like I don't belong and that I'm not good enough when I'm around his friends and him. Also, he's made friends with several Asian girls that he texts frequently and chats on facebook with. I know I shouldn't feel jealous or angry, but it seems like he's always texting this one particular girl. The other day we went to the library to study and he led me over to where said girl and her friend were studying and I was forced to sit there and try to study while they laughed and exchanged inside jokes and discussed classes that they all have together. It makes me so angry that he's been cavorting about with all these girls when I'm not around. I believe he's been to the library several times with that particular girl, and they've gotten private study rooms together. Now whenever I'm with him instead of being happy, I just think about him and these girls and I get upset and give him the cold shoulder. I'm mainly sad and depressed when I'm with him because I fear that he's going to leave me for someone better and of his own ethnicity. And I don't know what to do or say. Any suggestions?
Singles & Dating - 7 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
holy cow y is it so long...and break up with him he is not worth your time plz you need some one that makes you feel loved and you don't feel like your wasting your time on them..because think of all that time wasted on someone that you don't like and that gets u upset
2 :
Just because someone is of his own ethnicity, that does not make them better than you. I think that's the first thing you need to realize. I also think that you have a right to be a little bit concerned about his behavior if it's just one particular girl and you notice him being more and more into her. Do you feel like he has been distancing himself from you at all? Have you tried talking to him and telling him how you feel? Maybe you just need to be reassured by him that he still feels the same about you and that no one is going to be taking your place.
3 :
Why don't you make some friends. Join a club or something. Find a Unitarian Universalist church or something. You know get out, volunteer, do something or be somewhere with people who make you feel good. You sound like a nice person so you should meet nice people.
4 :
Probably time to move on. You might talking to him if you really like him, but I don't think that it will make much difference.
5 :
Tell your boyfriend how you are feeling and see how he responds. Then, give it a few weeks to see if things get any better and if they don't then maybe you should think about breaking up. You deserve to be happy. (But if you break up then don't be surprised if he starts dating one of these girls...that's usually how it goes)
6 :
Well, I'm sorry you are feeling so down about this. The best thing you could do, and probably the only thing you could do to solve this problem in your relationship, is to talk to him about how you are feeling. Hopefully you can find the words to tell him in a way that doesn't make him feel like you just don't want him happy. Explain your reasons in why you feel this way, and maybe he will open up to how he feels about the current situation. Communication is very, very important in a relationship, and it seems like yours need some.
7 :
I'm white and I'm dating a Filipino. Sometimes I feel the same way. I actually talked to my bf about it and he's like "I'm dating you. I don't an asian chick." Sometimes the comments he makes make me feel inferiorer even though they aren't even directed to me. Like he always mentions being Filipino - I was like well I never mention being ... French! He was like huh? Talk to him about it. See if he's cheating on you. Sometimes guys are dumb and don't realize how you feel. Lucky for me my bf understood what I was saying (it took a couple of times). If it doesn't work out maybe you two need to break up. Good luck.
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Hi, lately I've been having trouble with my boyfriend of 5 months. We began dating in high school and now we are in college together. He is Asian and I am white, and he joined an Asian club and now the majority of his friends are of Asian culture. That does not bother me whatsoever, but lately I've been having feelings of inadequacy. I feel like I don't belong and that I'm not good enough when I'm around his friends and him. Also, he's made friends with several Asian girls that he texts frequently and chats on facebook with. I know I shouldn't feel jealous or angry, but it seems like he's always texting this one particular girl. The other day we went to the library to study and he led me over to where said girl and her friend were studying and I was forced to sit there and try to study while they laughed and exchanged inside jokes and discussed classes that they all have together. It makes me so angry that he's been cavorting about with all these girls when I'm not around. I believe he's been to the library several times with that particular girl, and they've gotten private study rooms together. Now whenever I'm with him instead of being happy, I just think about him and these girls and I get upset and give him the cold shoulder. I'm mainly sad and depressed when I'm with him because I fear that he's going to leave me for someone better and of his own ethnicity. And I don't know what to do or say. Any suggestions?
Singles & Dating - 7 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
holy cow y is it so long...and break up with him he is not worth your time plz you need some one that makes you feel loved and you don't feel like your wasting your time on them..because think of all that time wasted on someone that you don't like and that gets u upset
2 :
Just because someone is of his own ethnicity, that does not make them better than you. I think that's the first thing you need to realize. I also think that you have a right to be a little bit concerned about his behavior if it's just one particular girl and you notice him being more and more into her. Do you feel like he has been distancing himself from you at all? Have you tried talking to him and telling him how you feel? Maybe you just need to be reassured by him that he still feels the same about you and that no one is going to be taking your place.
3 :
Why don't you make some friends. Join a club or something. Find a Unitarian Universalist church or something. You know get out, volunteer, do something or be somewhere with people who make you feel good. You sound like a nice person so you should meet nice people.
4 :
Probably time to move on. You might talking to him if you really like him, but I don't think that it will make much difference.
5 :
Tell your boyfriend how you are feeling and see how he responds. Then, give it a few weeks to see if things get any better and if they don't then maybe you should think about breaking up. You deserve to be happy. (But if you break up then don't be surprised if he starts dating one of these girls...that's usually how it goes)
6 :
Well, I'm sorry you are feeling so down about this. The best thing you could do, and probably the only thing you could do to solve this problem in your relationship, is to talk to him about how you are feeling. Hopefully you can find the words to tell him in a way that doesn't make him feel like you just don't want him happy. Explain your reasons in why you feel this way, and maybe he will open up to how he feels about the current situation. Communication is very, very important in a relationship, and it seems like yours need some.
7 :
I'm white and I'm dating a Filipino. Sometimes I feel the same way. I actually talked to my bf about it and he's like "I'm dating you. I don't an asian chick." Sometimes the comments he makes make me feel inferiorer even though they aren't even directed to me. Like he always mentions being Filipino - I was like well I never mention being ... French! He was like huh? Talk to him about it. See if he's cheating on you. Sometimes guys are dumb and don't realize how you feel. Lucky for me my bf understood what I was saying (it took a couple of times). If it doesn't work out maybe you two need to break up. Good luck.
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Tuesday, April 1, 2014
What do i do when first boyfriend broke my heart?
What do i do when first boyfriend broke my heart?
Help! He Broke My Heart! What should I do? My boyfriend lied to me and deeply hurt me! my boyfriend and i were on a break. he didnt call me for three weeks (he was at academic camp and needed to focus). i finally told him maybe we should just be friends. he got upset, asked if there was another guy, and said he still liked me. so i said fine but things needed to change. he said ok and asked if we were good. i said we were. today i log onto facebook and see a message from him. it's addressed to about 15 people and says he will not be coming back to my high school next year and that he is going to boarding school. he did not have the decency to tell me. i texted him, upset, and he said sorry i only told my best friend, (who is a girl by the way). i said sorry was ok when he canceled dates (he did that a lot) or when he didn't call. this was not sorry. how could he have falled to mention this? i am very hurt. we were friends for 2 years before we started dating and suddenly i'm his girlfriend and i'm part of the other people catagory. he said he'd call later. while we were friends i was always there for him. i'm a caring person. i dodn't know what to. he was my first real boyfriend. he wants to be friends, but i don't trust him and i have lost respect for him. i told him last night i thought he acted like a jerk in the scenario. he said he wasn't and promised to call tonight to discuss it. i don't see the point. when would we see each other as friends? i'm ready to move on. if he calls (which he prob won't) what do i say? but mostly, am i right to be upset?
Singles & Dating - 1 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Hi, Sounds like a real jerk, if he calls just say listen I'm through with all this, lets JUST be friends and thats all ok? And if he gets sad just remember all the stuff he did to you, because your better off just being friends with him if that. You deserve so much better! Good Luck! Hope I helped. =)
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Help! He Broke My Heart! What should I do? My boyfriend lied to me and deeply hurt me! my boyfriend and i were on a break. he didnt call me for three weeks (he was at academic camp and needed to focus). i finally told him maybe we should just be friends. he got upset, asked if there was another guy, and said he still liked me. so i said fine but things needed to change. he said ok and asked if we were good. i said we were. today i log onto facebook and see a message from him. it's addressed to about 15 people and says he will not be coming back to my high school next year and that he is going to boarding school. he did not have the decency to tell me. i texted him, upset, and he said sorry i only told my best friend, (who is a girl by the way). i said sorry was ok when he canceled dates (he did that a lot) or when he didn't call. this was not sorry. how could he have falled to mention this? i am very hurt. we were friends for 2 years before we started dating and suddenly i'm his girlfriend and i'm part of the other people catagory. he said he'd call later. while we were friends i was always there for him. i'm a caring person. i dodn't know what to. he was my first real boyfriend. he wants to be friends, but i don't trust him and i have lost respect for him. i told him last night i thought he acted like a jerk in the scenario. he said he wasn't and promised to call tonight to discuss it. i don't see the point. when would we see each other as friends? i'm ready to move on. if he calls (which he prob won't) what do i say? but mostly, am i right to be upset?
Singles & Dating - 1 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Hi, Sounds like a real jerk, if he calls just say listen I'm through with all this, lets JUST be friends and thats all ok? And if he gets sad just remember all the stuff he did to you, because your better off just being friends with him if that. You deserve so much better! Good Luck! Hope I helped. =)
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