I don't know what to do...?
My boyfriend and I broke up about a week ago. It was a really...weird break up though, and honestly I think its one we can easily work through. I went to Utah to visit family for Thanksgiving and the entire week he'd call me every day to make sure I was okay and we'd talk and at the end of every conversation he'd tell me he missed me and that he loved me. Then I get home and we're fine...until we got into our very first 'argument'. There was no yelling involved, it was more like a heated conversation, because his parents don't support us and want him to keep dating other girls, while my family wants to meet him so they're traveling thousands of miles to meet him over Christmas Break, and he tells me that he probably can't go because he has no way to get down there. Its super easy and cheep to get there. My parents are paying hundreds in gas money, and my roommate's boyfriend spent hundreds to travel up here just to see her. My boyfriend claimed that he was really stressed with a lot of things right now, and then suddenly he was suggesting we break up out of the blue. The next morning we broke up. At first I was okay with it, but then with each day that passed I've felt more and more depressed. I NEVER get depressed over a guy. Then a couple days ago he pulls a move that really pisses me off; we both had items that belonged to the other, and I thought we'd do the mature thing and exchange it after a few days of not seeing each other like adults, but instead he gives my item to his friend who gives it to my roomate to give to me, and attached to it is a note. Already pissed off that he did something out of character by not giving me my stuff in person, I read the note. It basically explained that he loved me and he wanted to marry me, but he wasn't ready. He didn't know if I wanted to be friends (I never said I didn't want to be) and how could I forgive him for the break up (It was a really random break up but it wasn't a bad one...I've had way worse) and then he proceeded to be way too hard on himself. I wasn't sure how to respond to that, so I asked my uncle who told me to play the game right back. So I did. I sent a short note basically thanking him for his note, returning his item, and then telling him that I really didn't want to discuss this over a note and that when he was ready to talk to me in person, he knew how to contact me. That was days ago, and I still haven't heard back from him. I've already been on dates with other guys, and gone out with friends to see stuff I normally would have seen with him. Usually, even if I still have feelings for the guy, I get less and less depressed as the days go by. But this time its getting to the point where I don't even want to go out because everytime I do I always think how much I want to be with him, and how I really want to work this out, but when I start imagining what I'd say, more and more I don't know if he'll want to get back together. I know he's having the same issues I'm having because on his facebook (no, I'm not stalking him, his statuses show up on my wall so I don't have to stalk him even if I wanted to) it says that he's miserable and that he's "Confused with life" so I'm not exactly sure if that means he's reconsidering or...I don't even know. All I know is the more I'm away from him, the more I realize I don't want to be. And even though he makes me mad sometimes, I still love him deeply and I want to work things out with him. I would even be okay with starting our relationship again and taking it way slower, especially since I have to go home in a few weeks for a little while to earn money, but I'm not sure how I'm supposed to explain all this when he hasn't even bothered to call me or 'accidentally walk by' or something random like that. And if or when we do talk (because I'm hoping he'll be waiting for me after my class tomorow, but that could just be my own wishful thinking) how am I supposed to phrase all of this? I'm so tired of this 'break up'. It was stupid and something that if he loves me like he says he does, he'll work out with me. Any advice on what I should say/do? Please no rude comments or comments just to get points. I will report you; I am in no mood to deal with people like that right now. Thank you!
Words & Wordplay - 1 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
You would get a lot more answers in the right section - family and relationships, or singles and dating :o) Anyway, I think the key to your problems is probably the fact that his parents are not in favour of his relationship with you and want him to date other girls? If he has already told you how he feels in that note, maybe you could have given him the benefit of the doubt? Maybe it was really hard for him to break up with you but he is being pressured by his parents. How much do you know about his financial situation? How old are you both? Does he fear that if he sees you, he will fall straight back into the relationship? Does he fear that being young, it cannot last so he wants to wait. Your uncle obviously meant well, telling you to play him at his own game - but it isn't a game is it? It is real and you are hurting. Two wrongs do not make a right! You thought your boyfriend was wrong to send your stuff with a note via friends - but then you did the same thing. Be true to yourself, and trust your own feelings. What's to stop you from going to see him and talking it through with him? Is pride preventing you? If pride is stronger than love - it isn't love. And you know, what happens between your friends and their boyfriends, should not make you compare your boyfriend to theirs... his circumstances may be completely different, and he is unique and special isn't he? If you don't think so, then he is just one of a herd. I'm not trying to upset you more than you are already. I am on your side and I want you to see things from a slightly different perspective. Your angle so far is not working the way you'd like and maybe the smallest adjustment will make a big difference.
Read more other entries :
