What to do with financial baggage from before marriage, during marriage?
This is definitely something couples should talk about before marriage. (Skip to the end for the question if u don't like to read because this is a long story) I did not do this, now its the only arguments we have ever had in our entire relationship and its taking a toll on me!! No matter I would still have loved him and married him, but it still should be discussed prior too! Here's the story my loving caring perfect for me husband is amazing, but financially he is very irresponsible. I knew he had bills but he failed to fully inform me how bad he was in the hole, when I informed him on the bills I had prior to marriage. I take care of my own bills that i had prior to our marriage and so does he here is the biggest problem. He was in a 3 year relationship before he was with me. In this relationship he was living the marriage life-style without being married, sharing a bank account, credit cards, rent, car etc. etc. He racked up on debt with his x and failed to think hmm what if this doesn't work out its very easy to just walk away we aren't married! Anyway he took out a debt consolidation loan jointly with her to resolve their stupid financial mistakes. They were living beyond their means and it backfired. So of coarse they split and what happens... HELL! They now had to solve what was what! He basically took the bills with his name and she took the ones with hers ignoring the ones they had jointly. So when we start dating she gets angry of coarse because she wants him back and he makes it plainly obvious that he was going to choose me (they weren't together when we met but she was still fighting to get him back he is a really good guy just not financially lol) , so now she is a woman scorned(hell hath no fury). So he then joins the army while in the basic he sent her three checks to pay their debt consolidation loan. I of coarse advise against this reminding him of how hurt and angry she is!! No he didn't listen she took that money paid her rent and went on a vacation to the beach, she went out with a bang and still has him hanging by the neck with this loan or should i say hanging by the balls! He also has a closed (so far overdrawn they said hell no u cant keep this account open) suntrust account with her, that he jointly owned and still jointly owes money on! So when he gets out of basic ait then airborne we get married about a month later. As we are planning for our fairytale love future together we start the topic of bills, the drama with us to now begins...prior to this we had never had a serious argument besides the petty why didn't u call or call back stuff! I basically(during arguing) tell him he needs to take care of it because its going to affect us getting anything such as a house or car later and I feel like he kept a lot of this from me before when we discussed our bills prior to marriage and he left out a lot a whole lot! I don't know if he was embarrassed but I still feel it should have been discussed. So I tell him to call her and all of the bills they share and straighten things out. Results: Citifinancial will not divide the loan but because he explained him trying to pay but his x pocketing the money then being in training he was in a hard place, so they put him in good standing with the account and set him up with decent payments. Then he talked to his x and she said how much she could pay a month. With the suntrust he told her he would get back to her but when he tried she didn't answer its been 4 days since he talked to her and she has yet to answer so i went on her facebook its public so any1 can see (i love facebook) and her status read " i wonder if i don't respond for 2 days... will he get the point." this was written yesterday. So me knowing how an angry woman can be i don't believe she is going to pay without legal action. Here are my questions: - Is this a matter for small claims court? -Am I wrong for telling him I want to be in charge of paying all the bills, and I will come to him every time one of us gets paid and tell him what I will be paying, but I will be the one physically in charge of doing it? I think he feels emasculated by me saying I don't think he can handle the bills! -Was I wrong for opening a joint savings account for both of us to put money into ( he didn't know it was going to be joint he thought it was going to be for me but he put money in it also. then he open a checking with the same bank later, even though he said he wanted to do it he felt i should have at least let him know) -How does my husband file against her? (requesting her to pay half of the loan minus any bills or purchases that are proven to be his) -what would be the best evidence to bring to court? - what if she is ordered to pay at court but time goes by and she still hasn't paid? how long is she given to pay it? -do u think taking her to court as I have been suggesting for the past 2 months is a http://www.OnlineBusinessMall.com- website did not help whatsoever lol but thanks for trying http://carekorner.com same as other website no help but again thanks http://www.lifeplanz.com/ lol i don't need a job i need my questions answered
Personal Finance - 3 Answers
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1 :
Calling the creditors and asking them to split the loans between your husband and his ex isn't going to help - they aren't going to do it. Each of them is legally responsible for the entire amounts of any joint debts, and the creditors will get it from whoever they can get it from. And what would you expect from small claims court? You/he has no case there either. Yes this should have all been clear before you were married, but that doesn't help now. You'd be wise to keep your own finances separate from your husband's (NO joint accounts) until this is all paid off.
2 :
Hi Unfortunately most of the companies online that offer debt relief are scams.I can suggest you one of them that really works... no doubt. They helped me to save more than 30% ... If you are serious about that, Go to http://DebtHelper.info Hope that was helpful
3 :
I didnt want to read your long as hell question but saw ur confused about money. Hit up militaryonesource.com or call them. they have tons of resources and you talk to real people. its all free for military
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Monday, May 28, 2012
Monday, May 14, 2012
How do I get my phone back?
How do I get my phone back?
earlier this year I really went 'off the rails' I was drinking, sneaking out and just generally getting involved with the wrong crowd. Then about four months ago, my parents took my phone and computer and put all these rules down to make me behave. It's been four months and I've got my computer back, some of my freedom and a little respect. but still no phone. ----EXAMPLES---- [you dont need to read them all] It sucks and is just REALLY annoying. Like friday night I went to see a movie with my friends and during the night, my dad was texting all my friends to discuss how i was getting home [he cant drive atm] but i'd already arranged for someone to take me home. In the end [thanks to all his messing] three different people -including my mom- were all waiting outside to take me home. If my dad had just been able to call me, I could've told him I was being taken how by my friend, and I'd be back before 11. Or on saturday night, it was my friends birthday, so about 10 of us girls went out for pizza. then at the end everyone had gone home and her parents were waiting an extra 45mintues after everyone had left to make sure I wasn't there by myself. My mom had fallen asleep and the only reason she came is because I borrowed my friends phone and called her and was like "um, sorry mom but everyones gone - can you pick me up like now?" I literally don't talk to anyone outside school [my parents deleted my facebook] and its pretty hard for me to get invited out anywhere because whenever i ask why i wasn't invited its because "we couldnt contact you to ask you". The only time I talk to someone outside of school is if i call them. and thats pretty hard because all the numbers are on my phone. I've lost all my friends outside of school because I dont talk to them anymore. ---EXAMPLES--- I know I did wrong, but I really need my phone. And four months is a long time - I've learnt my lesson! Since I got caught, i dont hang out with anyone outside school. and i literally NEED my phone back. Summer is coming up [two weeks] adn my dad cant drive atm, so I'm gonna be taking rides with friends or using public transport a lot. I'm moving to victoria at the end of summer, so i intend on spending all summer at the beach with my friends. I'm even considering asking for my phone for my birthday [december 15th]. my dad said i can have my phone back january 1st. but im spending nearly the whole of january in london, so its not like i can use it anyway. Do you think if i tell my dad he can check my phone every night and check my bill? Thanks xx p.s. i'm 14...nearly 15.
Adolescent - 3 Answers
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1 :
I think that you should tell your dad that yes, you were wrong when you sneaked out and partied, but that honestly if he gave you back the phone then he would have more control over you. (Not exactly true but it does make a good point.) You should tell him these examples, but remember to also put in not just good things about getting back the phone, but show that you were wrong because honestly it will look a bit strange if having a phone is all 100% good. Say that he can check on you when he wants, see who you're with and be much safer in general and arrangements would be simpler. Good Luck!
2 :
You're not hanging out with friends who aren't from school, and you'll be in London soon anyway, so why do you need the phone? You're just addicted to it or you want to contact those people who got you in trouble again. Looks like your dad is hard core and won't relent until January 1st. Good for him!
3 :
You should tell them what you just wrote to us... And add that it will be a lot easier to comunicate w/ them and let them know where you are if you have a phone... :)
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earlier this year I really went 'off the rails' I was drinking, sneaking out and just generally getting involved with the wrong crowd. Then about four months ago, my parents took my phone and computer and put all these rules down to make me behave. It's been four months and I've got my computer back, some of my freedom and a little respect. but still no phone. ----EXAMPLES---- [you dont need to read them all] It sucks and is just REALLY annoying. Like friday night I went to see a movie with my friends and during the night, my dad was texting all my friends to discuss how i was getting home [he cant drive atm] but i'd already arranged for someone to take me home. In the end [thanks to all his messing] three different people -including my mom- were all waiting outside to take me home. If my dad had just been able to call me, I could've told him I was being taken how by my friend, and I'd be back before 11. Or on saturday night, it was my friends birthday, so about 10 of us girls went out for pizza. then at the end everyone had gone home and her parents were waiting an extra 45mintues after everyone had left to make sure I wasn't there by myself. My mom had fallen asleep and the only reason she came is because I borrowed my friends phone and called her and was like "um, sorry mom but everyones gone - can you pick me up like now?" I literally don't talk to anyone outside school [my parents deleted my facebook] and its pretty hard for me to get invited out anywhere because whenever i ask why i wasn't invited its because "we couldnt contact you to ask you". The only time I talk to someone outside of school is if i call them. and thats pretty hard because all the numbers are on my phone. I've lost all my friends outside of school because I dont talk to them anymore. ---EXAMPLES--- I know I did wrong, but I really need my phone. And four months is a long time - I've learnt my lesson! Since I got caught, i dont hang out with anyone outside school. and i literally NEED my phone back. Summer is coming up [two weeks] adn my dad cant drive atm, so I'm gonna be taking rides with friends or using public transport a lot. I'm moving to victoria at the end of summer, so i intend on spending all summer at the beach with my friends. I'm even considering asking for my phone for my birthday [december 15th]. my dad said i can have my phone back january 1st. but im spending nearly the whole of january in london, so its not like i can use it anyway. Do you think if i tell my dad he can check my phone every night and check my bill? Thanks xx p.s. i'm 14...nearly 15.
Adolescent - 3 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
I think that you should tell your dad that yes, you were wrong when you sneaked out and partied, but that honestly if he gave you back the phone then he would have more control over you. (Not exactly true but it does make a good point.) You should tell him these examples, but remember to also put in not just good things about getting back the phone, but show that you were wrong because honestly it will look a bit strange if having a phone is all 100% good. Say that he can check on you when he wants, see who you're with and be much safer in general and arrangements would be simpler. Good Luck!
2 :
You're not hanging out with friends who aren't from school, and you'll be in London soon anyway, so why do you need the phone? You're just addicted to it or you want to contact those people who got you in trouble again. Looks like your dad is hard core and won't relent until January 1st. Good for him!
3 :
You should tell them what you just wrote to us... And add that it will be a lot easier to comunicate w/ them and let them know where you are if you have a phone... :)
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Monday, May 7, 2012
Will He Ever Get Over It?
Will He Ever Get Over It?
I've been seeing D for a few weeks, although he's liked me for years. He's funny, smart, and sooo fun to be around. I'm smitten. That is of course, until I ruined everything. I hadn't seen D in over a week because we're both really busy. I was so excited to see him, but he cancelled on our beach date and instead just came over to my house later. I was disappointed, because it started to feel more like a booty call than a date, and I was awkward and cold until he left. I later realized that I was overreacting, he still came to see me, we haven't slept together or anything (so it OF COURSE wasn't a booty call). We had plans to hangout the next night, but he blew me off for being too tired. I instantly was livid and assumed he must be over me. I had an ex who lied and cheated. I know these things (or so I thought). In my fury, I text D and say that I'm sorry for acting weird the other night, BUT if all he wants is a f*** buddy, I'm not it and I don't like wasting my time. To make a long story short, my best friend took matters into her own hands and posted this SUPER old picture of me kissing our guy friend (the picture was a joke - the friend surprise-kissed me for the picture, we've never hooked up) on Facebook to make D jealous. I didn't hear from D for three days (when usually he texts me all day long), so I texted him and asked where he'd been. He was furious about the picture (which surprised me because we never talked about being exclusive), and said that I called him a waste of time. I explained that the picture was not only a TOTAL joke, it was from forever ago. He thought that the picture had been from a night when I was supposed to go to D's house - which I don't even know what he's talking about! I then explained that I love hanging out with him, and I would never call him a waste of time! I just meant that I didn't want to waste my time if all he wanted was sex, and I don't think he does (I was just being insecure). He didn't believe me, would barely discuss it, and told me he "had to go". I miss him and like him more than ever and I'm furious with my friend for posting the picture, and even more mad at myself for allowing insecurity from a bad ex ruin things with D. What can I do? It's been a week since I'd tried to explain. He hasn't contacted me since. =( Help!
Singles & Dating - 1 Answers
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1 :
Move on get over it he doesn't trust you and wont believe you relationships are built on trust
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I've been seeing D for a few weeks, although he's liked me for years. He's funny, smart, and sooo fun to be around. I'm smitten. That is of course, until I ruined everything. I hadn't seen D in over a week because we're both really busy. I was so excited to see him, but he cancelled on our beach date and instead just came over to my house later. I was disappointed, because it started to feel more like a booty call than a date, and I was awkward and cold until he left. I later realized that I was overreacting, he still came to see me, we haven't slept together or anything (so it OF COURSE wasn't a booty call). We had plans to hangout the next night, but he blew me off for being too tired. I instantly was livid and assumed he must be over me. I had an ex who lied and cheated. I know these things (or so I thought). In my fury, I text D and say that I'm sorry for acting weird the other night, BUT if all he wants is a f*** buddy, I'm not it and I don't like wasting my time. To make a long story short, my best friend took matters into her own hands and posted this SUPER old picture of me kissing our guy friend (the picture was a joke - the friend surprise-kissed me for the picture, we've never hooked up) on Facebook to make D jealous. I didn't hear from D for three days (when usually he texts me all day long), so I texted him and asked where he'd been. He was furious about the picture (which surprised me because we never talked about being exclusive), and said that I called him a waste of time. I explained that the picture was not only a TOTAL joke, it was from forever ago. He thought that the picture had been from a night when I was supposed to go to D's house - which I don't even know what he's talking about! I then explained that I love hanging out with him, and I would never call him a waste of time! I just meant that I didn't want to waste my time if all he wanted was sex, and I don't think he does (I was just being insecure). He didn't believe me, would barely discuss it, and told me he "had to go". I miss him and like him more than ever and I'm furious with my friend for posting the picture, and even more mad at myself for allowing insecurity from a bad ex ruin things with D. What can I do? It's been a week since I'd tried to explain. He hasn't contacted me since. =( Help!
Singles & Dating - 1 Answers
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1 :
Move on get over it he doesn't trust you and wont believe you relationships are built on trust
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Tuesday, May 1, 2012
Should I Email My Girlfriend A Little Long, Please Help!!?
Should I Email My Girlfriend A Little Long, Please Help!!?
I've had a girlfriend since June 3rd. She went to Hawaii for various reasons: She needs to lifeguard at Ewa Beach, has family there (she's half Hawaiian and very beautiful) and has to take some PSAT prep courses. Basically like a summer school. She's taking them there because she also has a home in Hawaii and it seemed better to her from her telling me about it. But there have been some problems. This guy (who was a childhood friend of hers) changed her relationship status on facebook and said that she is in a relationship with him and not me. I called and asked her about it, she was busy at the time but she briefly told me that he has her facebook password and he's "just messing with my profile." Now, I'm starting to have doubts though. I don't know if I can trust her on that even though she is a very understanding person in general. The guy blocked me from her and now I can't even see her profile. If he has just been messing around with her profile on facebook only I wouldn't worry too much but if he's calling her.. Telling her that he wants her or something, that's what I should be worried about. The last time I spoke to her on the phone was about the change on the facebook profile and I've tried calling her and there has been no answer. We promised not to see other people (as in dating others). I've only met the guy once so confronting him is probably not a good idea. So should I try to email her saying I really want to discuss things with you? Or should I just leave her? I'm going to be 18 tomorrow so I really don't know what to do!! My girlfriend is 16 years old.
Singles & Dating - 2 Answers
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1 :
Leave her. If you act all desperate you'll push her to the other guy. Leave her to make her mind up and if she chooses the other guy then you wouldn't have worked out anyway. The fact that he knows her facebook password is a little weird but he's obviously worried about you. If they were in a strong relationship you wouldn't be a threat. Just back off and let her come to you.
2 :
Leave her because if he has her password then they are VERY close. Far too close for a girl who's supposed to be in a relationship. She's not taking the relationship as serious as you are, so you need to let it go. She's allowing this to feed into her desire to feel wanted, and you being frustrated about it will only make her feel important. You don't need that, move on.
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I've had a girlfriend since June 3rd. She went to Hawaii for various reasons: She needs to lifeguard at Ewa Beach, has family there (she's half Hawaiian and very beautiful) and has to take some PSAT prep courses. Basically like a summer school. She's taking them there because she also has a home in Hawaii and it seemed better to her from her telling me about it. But there have been some problems. This guy (who was a childhood friend of hers) changed her relationship status on facebook and said that she is in a relationship with him and not me. I called and asked her about it, she was busy at the time but she briefly told me that he has her facebook password and he's "just messing with my profile." Now, I'm starting to have doubts though. I don't know if I can trust her on that even though she is a very understanding person in general. The guy blocked me from her and now I can't even see her profile. If he has just been messing around with her profile on facebook only I wouldn't worry too much but if he's calling her.. Telling her that he wants her or something, that's what I should be worried about. The last time I spoke to her on the phone was about the change on the facebook profile and I've tried calling her and there has been no answer. We promised not to see other people (as in dating others). I've only met the guy once so confronting him is probably not a good idea. So should I try to email her saying I really want to discuss things with you? Or should I just leave her? I'm going to be 18 tomorrow so I really don't know what to do!! My girlfriend is 16 years old.
Singles & Dating - 2 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Leave her. If you act all desperate you'll push her to the other guy. Leave her to make her mind up and if she chooses the other guy then you wouldn't have worked out anyway. The fact that he knows her facebook password is a little weird but he's obviously worried about you. If they were in a strong relationship you wouldn't be a threat. Just back off and let her come to you.
2 :
Leave her because if he has her password then they are VERY close. Far too close for a girl who's supposed to be in a relationship. She's not taking the relationship as serious as you are, so you need to let it go. She's allowing this to feed into her desire to feel wanted, and you being frustrated about it will only make her feel important. You don't need that, move on.
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