Long Distance Relationship Question!?
Okay so me and this girl have been talking since October 2009, We met thru mutual friends on Facebook. I live in Missouri and shit lives in Washington. We have discussed each one of us potentially moving to each others state. Well we have come to the conclusion that it would be best for her to move here. We talk for at least 16 hours a day via phone/txt. We go to each other for everything and tell each other everything, basically we are very dependent on each other. THE PROBLEM IS she will not commit to anything, where as ive committed to the whole idea months ago. Ive been giving it my all to make her just agree to everything. Shes very indecisive about the whole thing. One day she says "This is what I want, but I don't know if its what I need" then the next day she says "I just don't know if this is what I want" HOW DO I MAKE HER UNDERSTAND THAT THIS IS FOR THE BEST? WHAT DOES IT MEAN IF SHE IS VERY DEPENDENT ON ME? (which i love that she is dependent because it makes me feel like she NEEDS me). She always says that this situation ISNT easy, when in all reality it IS VERY easy. All she has to do is commit and buy her plane ticket for July (that's when the moving will occur) PLEASE HELP ME IN GETTING WHAT I WANT. DOES ANYONE THINK SHE IS REALLY INTERESTED? SHE SAYS SHE "LOVES ME" ALL THE TIME. but sometimes i dont feel it i forgot to add that she came to visit me for a week in February and things went great. :)
Singles & Dating - 3 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Unfortunately, she's a person, just like you. Which means it's no longer about WHAT YOU WANT, but about WHAT'S BEST FOR BOTH OF YOU AS A COUPLE. You can't control her, and you can't control her needs. Probably would be a good idea to back off for a while.
2 :
No it's not as easy as buying a plane ticket and moving. Remember she would be leaving behind her family, friends, home, job etc. Have the two of you even met in person? Honestly it sounds a little bit like maybe you guys just got caught up in a romantic fantasy type thing. You can't force major life decisions on someone. If you really are in love and committed, just slow it down, what's the rush. Have her come for a visit instead of just packing up and moving her life.
3 :
ok..you never met in person? here's what i would do. go a whole day without contact (oooooh i know this is hard to do) maybe half a day. if she asks...you had an earlier commitment to (fill in the blank). 3 days later...you were too busy with (fill in the blank) this is not a head game...you are training yourself to back off some so you won't get hurt bad if she doesn't want to move there. also, you can test this out to see if she said things like" i really missed you" as apposed to "i really needed you". start deterring yourself a bit..(go to a movie, read some books, etc) she might be interested in someone else, but i dont think so, but she might be. good luck..
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