Strange family situation, involving adoption and new family members!?
My biological parents had drug problems, so bad that I was adopted by my paternal grandfather when I was 4. I never knew that my "dad" was my "grandfather" until I was about 12, because my "mom" freaked out and never let my other family members near me or know anything about me. After "dad" and "mom" were divorced when I was 13, I was able to meet my biological father, my half brother, my uncles, and my grandma on his side of the family. When I was 15, I met a ton of people on my mom's side: grandma, 2 half sisters, 3 aunts, 1 uncle and a bazillion cousins. My mom died when I was 7, which of course I knew nothing about. It turns out that my mom had been "at the wrong place at the wrong time" and was beaten and shot to death. There were a lot of strange circumstances with her death which leads my family to believe that it was an inside job, since there was a huge lack of police involvement and paperwork. At first they tried to pass it off as a suicide, but with the angle that the bullet entered her body it would've been impossible for her to kill herself. She had 3 autopsies done. It seems as if everyone has a different view on what happened with my adoption and mom's death. Some people know more than others, and some know details that are much different than the other stories I've heard. My biological dad has agreed to go with me to the court house.. my adoption documents have been sealed, and apparently I'm the only one that can access them. AND... today I got a friend request on facebook from one of my mom's cousins on her dad's side. I haven't met anyone from that side of her family yet and I talked to her online. She seems very nice and told me a few stories about my mom when she was younger. Questions: One of my sisters and I were talking about having our mom's case put on Cold Case Files or some other forensic show in case anyone has any information about her death. How can we do this, and how do we discuss it with other members of our family without upsetting them? How, other than reading my adoption information, can I figure out what really happened with my adoption? Any advice is appreciated.
Family - 1 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
do what you think is right :-)
Read more other entries :
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
Wednesday, August 14, 2013
Boyfriend vs. new guy friend/old crush?!?
Boyfriend vs. new guy friend/old crush?!?
I have a loving boyfriend of 5 years. last fall, we had a rocky time in our relationship because i started liking a guy from my school and i felt horribly guilty about it and ended up confessing it to my boyfriend. since then, he has had slight trust issues and made me delete that guy friend from my facebook and made me promise that i didn't like him anymore and wouldn't talk to him. so i had a really hard time because i still liked the other guy (even though i hardly knew him). i talked to him a few times last fall, but then i stopped and we didn't see each other for months. last week, the guy friend, after not talking to me/seeing me for months, came up to my boyfriend and i at an awards ceremony in which i won an award and this guy congratulated me! since last week, i haven't been able to stop thinking of him. i was completely obsessed with this guy, so i emailed him a few times, without my boyfriend knowing and today, i met up with this guy for coffee to discuss forming an extracurricular group together this fall at our school. now that i've gotten a chance to talk to him more, i don't feel like i have much of a crush on this guy anymore, but i still really want to be friends with him. however, i know my boyfriend would never understand because of how i felt about this other guy last year. i feel like i'd be missing out on a lot of experiences if i didn't become friends with this other guy, but i don't know what to do about my boyfriend. i love him, but i just wish he never knew about this other guy so i could openly be friends with him and not hide things from my boyfriend. i also feel like i want more independence and not to have to tell my boyfriend everything, to be able to be friends and hang out with anyone i want to. i need something to change soon. what should i do?
Friends - 1 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
you have to figure this out one your own but im sure you'll make the right desition
Read more other entries :
I have a loving boyfriend of 5 years. last fall, we had a rocky time in our relationship because i started liking a guy from my school and i felt horribly guilty about it and ended up confessing it to my boyfriend. since then, he has had slight trust issues and made me delete that guy friend from my facebook and made me promise that i didn't like him anymore and wouldn't talk to him. so i had a really hard time because i still liked the other guy (even though i hardly knew him). i talked to him a few times last fall, but then i stopped and we didn't see each other for months. last week, the guy friend, after not talking to me/seeing me for months, came up to my boyfriend and i at an awards ceremony in which i won an award and this guy congratulated me! since last week, i haven't been able to stop thinking of him. i was completely obsessed with this guy, so i emailed him a few times, without my boyfriend knowing and today, i met up with this guy for coffee to discuss forming an extracurricular group together this fall at our school. now that i've gotten a chance to talk to him more, i don't feel like i have much of a crush on this guy anymore, but i still really want to be friends with him. however, i know my boyfriend would never understand because of how i felt about this other guy last year. i feel like i'd be missing out on a lot of experiences if i didn't become friends with this other guy, but i don't know what to do about my boyfriend. i love him, but i just wish he never knew about this other guy so i could openly be friends with him and not hide things from my boyfriend. i also feel like i want more independence and not to have to tell my boyfriend everything, to be able to be friends and hang out with anyone i want to. i need something to change soon. what should i do?
Friends - 1 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
you have to figure this out one your own but im sure you'll make the right desition
Read more other entries :
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
How can a person on facebook have their wall blocked to a specific person, yet some of the posts they make..?
How can a person on facebook have their wall blocked to a specific person, yet some of the posts they make..?
..still show up on that person's live feed? A little more clarification: I have an ex, who blocked her wall from me about 2 months ago, presumable because she has a new boyfriend and didn't want me to get my feelings hurt by seeing her discuss him. Totally fine. That being said, when she would comment on photos, or add friends, these would pop up in my feed from time to time, despite her wall being blocked. Again, no big deal. Then starting yesterday, I noticed that something she posted on her wall popped up in my feed, yet her wall is still blocked. And it happened again today. Wall is still blocked though. On a personal level,I don't really care that much, but I find it strange that this is happening. (And, it isn't just on my PC; these show up on my smartphone FB app as well.) Is it possible that this is some kind of extended glitch in the facebook system, or is there some way of selectively allowing wall posts to go through, perhaps "unblocking me" just to let one or two posts to go through, then re-instating the block? It doesn't bother me either way, but I haven't seen any precedent for it in any of the forums that I have looked through. Anyone who is a more prolific facebook-er care to comment?
Facebook - 1 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
The only thing I can think of is that she just chose to block her wall, NOT her activity. This means you can see her comments, especially if they are to mutual friends. Good luck!
Read more other entries :
..still show up on that person's live feed? A little more clarification: I have an ex, who blocked her wall from me about 2 months ago, presumable because she has a new boyfriend and didn't want me to get my feelings hurt by seeing her discuss him. Totally fine. That being said, when she would comment on photos, or add friends, these would pop up in my feed from time to time, despite her wall being blocked. Again, no big deal. Then starting yesterday, I noticed that something she posted on her wall popped up in my feed, yet her wall is still blocked. And it happened again today. Wall is still blocked though. On a personal level,I don't really care that much, but I find it strange that this is happening. (And, it isn't just on my PC; these show up on my smartphone FB app as well.) Is it possible that this is some kind of extended glitch in the facebook system, or is there some way of selectively allowing wall posts to go through, perhaps "unblocking me" just to let one or two posts to go through, then re-instating the block? It doesn't bother me either way, but I haven't seen any precedent for it in any of the forums that I have looked through. Anyone who is a more prolific facebook-er care to comment?
Facebook - 1 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
The only thing I can think of is that she just chose to block her wall, NOT her activity. This means you can see her comments, especially if they are to mutual friends. Good luck!
Read more other entries :
Thursday, August 1, 2013
Boyfriend and Facebook?
Boyfriend and Facebook?
Okay, so I haven't been with my new boyfriend for that long, but when we got together we agreed to change our relationship statuses on facebook to 'In a relationship with ___' Today I went on facebook and noticed that mine only says 'In a relationship' his name is now removed, I went to his profile and his relationship status is completely hidden. And his most recent status update is 'Until we meet again....' I don't know why he would change it so suddenly, we're talking fine, he's still calling me hun and baby and he's even invited me to go away with him for a few days next week. So I don't understand it. This wouldn't be bothering me so much if I thought it was just a privacy issue but all his friends and family already know about me. And before we started dating his status was never 'single' it was always just hidden. Any idea what this could mean? It's really driving me crazy. I do plan on talking to him about it when I see him (I don't want to discuss something like this over the phone or in a text) but I'm just looking for another person's opinion. Thank you. I think another reason why this is bothering me so much is because my last boyfriend said he wanted a 'break' and made me believe that was all it was but he was actually out playing the field. And then he decided to officially breakup with me by changing his relationship status on facebook, no call or anything to tell me he wanted it to be over he just changed his status. So I guess I'm worried that my new boyfriend is now doing the same thing....
Singles & Dating - 2 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
I think maybe he's shy showing to other people on facebook that you guys are on relationship. ( Even though you guys agreed to put it on Facebook) When you guys meet just ask him why he didn't put it on Facebook or why he removed it. Good luck! Hope it helps.
2 :
I think it would be best to talk to him about it in person if this is really bothering you. Part of having a strong relationship is being able to tell your partner what's on your mind. If he dodges the question in any way, he may be hiding something. Just have a private conversation with him and hopefully he will give you a reason for his behavior. Good luck!
Read more other entries :
Okay, so I haven't been with my new boyfriend for that long, but when we got together we agreed to change our relationship statuses on facebook to 'In a relationship with ___' Today I went on facebook and noticed that mine only says 'In a relationship' his name is now removed, I went to his profile and his relationship status is completely hidden. And his most recent status update is 'Until we meet again....' I don't know why he would change it so suddenly, we're talking fine, he's still calling me hun and baby and he's even invited me to go away with him for a few days next week. So I don't understand it. This wouldn't be bothering me so much if I thought it was just a privacy issue but all his friends and family already know about me. And before we started dating his status was never 'single' it was always just hidden. Any idea what this could mean? It's really driving me crazy. I do plan on talking to him about it when I see him (I don't want to discuss something like this over the phone or in a text) but I'm just looking for another person's opinion. Thank you. I think another reason why this is bothering me so much is because my last boyfriend said he wanted a 'break' and made me believe that was all it was but he was actually out playing the field. And then he decided to officially breakup with me by changing his relationship status on facebook, no call or anything to tell me he wanted it to be over he just changed his status. So I guess I'm worried that my new boyfriend is now doing the same thing....
Singles & Dating - 2 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
I think maybe he's shy showing to other people on facebook that you guys are on relationship. ( Even though you guys agreed to put it on Facebook) When you guys meet just ask him why he didn't put it on Facebook or why he removed it. Good luck! Hope it helps.
2 :
I think it would be best to talk to him about it in person if this is really bothering you. Part of having a strong relationship is being able to tell your partner what's on your mind. If he dodges the question in any way, he may be hiding something. Just have a private conversation with him and hopefully he will give you a reason for his behavior. Good luck!
Read more other entries :
Sunday, July 28, 2013
why does this keep happening to me?
why does this keep happening to me?
Almost 50 and going through menopause. I go see doctors and they think I'm a nut. I'm on depression meds better not say a word to anyone about that 'cause then they'de really think I'm nuts, oops did that too late. Father abandoned me at 2wks old, nutty life, twin sister thinks I'm going to die every day and that is only reason she calls no basis for it, it's strange, tired of it, cute is over when it comes to being in one city and in the other was a rain shower and an accident on tv did you die? Nope can't come see ya, can't have family time w/you...Can I come over? no I;ve got too much house work... 6mo goes by, 8 mos goes by.... She acts loony toony and freaks out on anything I say, gets real serious and turns everything into a negative.... Same w/my mother who is an alcoholic and loves to put me down because I look alot like that side of the family I don't even know. She has emotionally abused me way too much and still does it. I keep trying to be a good daughter but the one who is so wonderful is the paranoid one... I never get a call where it's pleasant. So also I married a man I thought loved me, turns out he is a 40 yr old guys body w/mentalit of a 14 yr old. Never wants to talk to me, or read a book, everything is sooooo superficial I want to crawl out of my skin. I try so hard not to be mean to these sensitive people, but where do I ever get to be treated nice, or real!? I go to church and my kids sit there and pout. My husband can't wait for his nap.... He like to say, in a joking way "a crap and a nap and I do not need an audiance." I do everything around here and just grad. w/honors at a college and cannot find work since then, not even in fast food. We lost our home and are in bankruptcy, and my husband just works comes home and goes to bed. My kids are my wonderful life. We want to leave to hubby too, to south carolina there I'd be able to get work the employment is 7% my husband can be transfered. Better schools for kids, more to do w/them, I want them to go to karate lessons or something good! Lately, I've really been tryng to get stronger w/the Lord I'm a christian and boy when I do, satan is right there given me a hard time, my husband will start cussing and yelling all hell breaks loose. I've got trust issue w/the Lord sometimes because I see him as the big authority figure and not the loving figure I need to see, has to do w/my father abandoning me... So I reached out to other girls/women i've known in other churches too i've gone to and tell them to pray for this trust issue thing... What did they do, IGNORED ME... One I've known for 17 years before she even met her husband as an aquaintance she is, but still, I had her on facebook and what did she do.... Well she ripped me right off of there. But guess what, she is attending my church I told her about she said she didn't have one to really go to before she trusted... She is attending the same one I go to now, but IGNORING ME. It's really uncomfortable. I can't approach her I'm a big whim and am afriad of the cruel words I've heard so many times from sooooo many people. My husband thinks we should act all lovely and nice like nothing happened.... Forget my feelings or how this has hurt me. He never wants to discuss life issues w/me. He'd rather take nap. Now that we are getting closer to the possibilities of moving out of state to go to South Carolina I'm in CA..... I'm getting a twinge of guilt, and am afraid to leave behind my paranoid out of her mind twin sister who can't come visit me, but thinks at everymove I'm going to die in a car accident... and my 78 year old mother who will think that B* * * *! How dare she, she's planned this all along, I was right about her..... I've never been the one to really make these two people happy and am afraid of hurting them deeply... I don't want them to feel abandoned... Even though they never see me for X-mas, B-days, ignores my kids bdays, listen and gossip and say bad things to each other about me... That I am married I've got Shon my husband,,, "but she has no body" my mother says.....I am going nuts in this nutty world folks....I need prayers. Yes my husband and I are seeing a marriage councelor in our church, I just need a little bit of a lift, a little bit of encouragement, before I become a raging lunatic for the mere fact it is all so convaluted w/suspiciion and rudeness that I don't ever make.... I just want my kids happy, to lead a life God would want me to, and to be able to get sleep at night w/o this severe sleep insomnia from the pain and damage of life itself, not entirely done by me ya know. pls. help.
Yahoo! Answers - 2 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Get a grip! Forget your parents if they don't want anything to do with you, then don't have anything to do with them. Also, be independant, forget GOD why are you hoping god will help you? when you don't even know if he's real or not!? You have to do things for yourself, god is just a fairytale/myth. HAVE A NICE LIFE. :)
2 :
WOW! That's some wild wacky stuff but what I would do is blow off your family and do what you want in life. Trust me, family is way overrated.
Read more other entries :
Almost 50 and going through menopause. I go see doctors and they think I'm a nut. I'm on depression meds better not say a word to anyone about that 'cause then they'de really think I'm nuts, oops did that too late. Father abandoned me at 2wks old, nutty life, twin sister thinks I'm going to die every day and that is only reason she calls no basis for it, it's strange, tired of it, cute is over when it comes to being in one city and in the other was a rain shower and an accident on tv did you die? Nope can't come see ya, can't have family time w/you...Can I come over? no I;ve got too much house work... 6mo goes by, 8 mos goes by.... She acts loony toony and freaks out on anything I say, gets real serious and turns everything into a negative.... Same w/my mother who is an alcoholic and loves to put me down because I look alot like that side of the family I don't even know. She has emotionally abused me way too much and still does it. I keep trying to be a good daughter but the one who is so wonderful is the paranoid one... I never get a call where it's pleasant. So also I married a man I thought loved me, turns out he is a 40 yr old guys body w/mentalit of a 14 yr old. Never wants to talk to me, or read a book, everything is sooooo superficial I want to crawl out of my skin. I try so hard not to be mean to these sensitive people, but where do I ever get to be treated nice, or real!? I go to church and my kids sit there and pout. My husband can't wait for his nap.... He like to say, in a joking way "a crap and a nap and I do not need an audiance." I do everything around here and just grad. w/honors at a college and cannot find work since then, not even in fast food. We lost our home and are in bankruptcy, and my husband just works comes home and goes to bed. My kids are my wonderful life. We want to leave to hubby too, to south carolina there I'd be able to get work the employment is 7% my husband can be transfered. Better schools for kids, more to do w/them, I want them to go to karate lessons or something good! Lately, I've really been tryng to get stronger w/the Lord I'm a christian and boy when I do, satan is right there given me a hard time, my husband will start cussing and yelling all hell breaks loose. I've got trust issue w/the Lord sometimes because I see him as the big authority figure and not the loving figure I need to see, has to do w/my father abandoning me... So I reached out to other girls/women i've known in other churches too i've gone to and tell them to pray for this trust issue thing... What did they do, IGNORED ME... One I've known for 17 years before she even met her husband as an aquaintance she is, but still, I had her on facebook and what did she do.... Well she ripped me right off of there. But guess what, she is attending my church I told her about she said she didn't have one to really go to before she trusted... She is attending the same one I go to now, but IGNORING ME. It's really uncomfortable. I can't approach her I'm a big whim and am afriad of the cruel words I've heard so many times from sooooo many people. My husband thinks we should act all lovely and nice like nothing happened.... Forget my feelings or how this has hurt me. He never wants to discuss life issues w/me. He'd rather take nap. Now that we are getting closer to the possibilities of moving out of state to go to South Carolina I'm in CA..... I'm getting a twinge of guilt, and am afraid to leave behind my paranoid out of her mind twin sister who can't come visit me, but thinks at everymove I'm going to die in a car accident... and my 78 year old mother who will think that B* * * *! How dare she, she's planned this all along, I was right about her..... I've never been the one to really make these two people happy and am afraid of hurting them deeply... I don't want them to feel abandoned... Even though they never see me for X-mas, B-days, ignores my kids bdays, listen and gossip and say bad things to each other about me... That I am married I've got Shon my husband,,, "but she has no body" my mother says.....I am going nuts in this nutty world folks....I need prayers. Yes my husband and I are seeing a marriage councelor in our church, I just need a little bit of a lift, a little bit of encouragement, before I become a raging lunatic for the mere fact it is all so convaluted w/suspiciion and rudeness that I don't ever make.... I just want my kids happy, to lead a life God would want me to, and to be able to get sleep at night w/o this severe sleep insomnia from the pain and damage of life itself, not entirely done by me ya know. pls. help.
Yahoo! Answers - 2 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
Get a grip! Forget your parents if they don't want anything to do with you, then don't have anything to do with them. Also, be independant, forget GOD why are you hoping god will help you? when you don't even know if he's real or not!? You have to do things for yourself, god is just a fairytale/myth. HAVE A NICE LIFE. :)
2 :
WOW! That's some wild wacky stuff but what I would do is blow off your family and do what you want in life. Trust me, family is way overrated.
Read more other entries :
Sunday, July 14, 2013
DONT READ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! just need to move information from my phone to school computer...?
DONT READ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! just need to move information from my phone to school computer...?
"Did we stole Facebook?" Asked Eduardo. Mark assume that it's addressed to him, not everyone that involve with Facebook. Eduardo complaining about it and Mark sounded like he don't care. Eduardo was exhausted and surprised at the same time. "Ok" he said. Later this same night, Mark planned to expand his website to University Yale, Columbia, and Stanford. He invited his 2 friends, actually, roommates who was interesting to join his facebook company and he give responsible to those two roommates to do works for Facebook. In few day, Winklevoss brother and Divya found out that Mark expanded his website to 4 university. Divya aggressively want to hired lawyer to take this site down. One of Winklevoss agreed and other one didn't. He decided to go and meet the president of Harvard and tell him what happen, so they did visit to Harvard president and they sat down and they tell him what happens and assume that it's illegal, however, he don't see it as university issue, so he told them just to come up with new project and they complained and he didn't care, so they give up and thanked him for his time then they leave disappointed. They gave up with Facebook. This not only happening after Mark expanded website, there was a time two weeks after Mark expanded when Sean Parker, Napster founder, borrow his dating who enrolled Stanford's laptop in morning when she heading to shower and he notice there was website open on laptop, Facebook. Sean was confused and ask her girlfriend what it is. And he find the facts of new Facebook and he was interesting in it. And he wanted to meet Mark. He find his email and he email him and ask him to meet him at restaurant and Mark was excited and agreed to meet him. In few week, Mark and Eduardo met him at restaurant, then they were chatting about Napster, then talk about random then finally, they were discussed about Facebook, Mark and Eduardo asked him about AD whatever it's good idea or not, Sean said he believe it's cool to not to add it. t
Security - 1 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
you could have emailed it to your self or saved it on a floppy , CD ,flash drive ,external hard drive. this wasn't the most efficient way.unless it was the only way.lol
Read more other entries :
"Did we stole Facebook?" Asked Eduardo. Mark assume that it's addressed to him, not everyone that involve with Facebook. Eduardo complaining about it and Mark sounded like he don't care. Eduardo was exhausted and surprised at the same time. "Ok" he said. Later this same night, Mark planned to expand his website to University Yale, Columbia, and Stanford. He invited his 2 friends, actually, roommates who was interesting to join his facebook company and he give responsible to those two roommates to do works for Facebook. In few day, Winklevoss brother and Divya found out that Mark expanded his website to 4 university. Divya aggressively want to hired lawyer to take this site down. One of Winklevoss agreed and other one didn't. He decided to go and meet the president of Harvard and tell him what happen, so they did visit to Harvard president and they sat down and they tell him what happens and assume that it's illegal, however, he don't see it as university issue, so he told them just to come up with new project and they complained and he didn't care, so they give up and thanked him for his time then they leave disappointed. They gave up with Facebook. This not only happening after Mark expanded website, there was a time two weeks after Mark expanded when Sean Parker, Napster founder, borrow his dating who enrolled Stanford's laptop in morning when she heading to shower and he notice there was website open on laptop, Facebook. Sean was confused and ask her girlfriend what it is. And he find the facts of new Facebook and he was interesting in it. And he wanted to meet Mark. He find his email and he email him and ask him to meet him at restaurant and Mark was excited and agreed to meet him. In few week, Mark and Eduardo met him at restaurant, then they were chatting about Napster, then talk about random then finally, they were discussed about Facebook, Mark and Eduardo asked him about AD whatever it's good idea or not, Sean said he believe it's cool to not to add it. t
Security - 1 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
you could have emailed it to your self or saved it on a floppy , CD ,flash drive ,external hard drive. this wasn't the most efficient way.unless it was the only way.lol
Read more other entries :
Sunday, July 7, 2013
What do you think of the beginning of this chapter?
What do you think of the beginning of this chapter?
Justin Alvarado sat in gym class observing Erica Nasso and her friends. Erica creeped him out. The way her lips puffed out when she frowned, the way she smiled with those horrid braces, and her shitty personality. No wonder she hated Savannah Ripley. Savannah was gorgeous while she looked like a constipated lizard on LSD. He felt like yelling at her, but he couldn’t, He was too nice for that. That kind of level was for Erica and Nicole Lyon. They were too scared to admit that they didn’t like Savannah. Especially Nicole. She just wanted to get a better reputation. As much as he had mixed feelings for Carter Atkins, he had rather seen him with Savannah than Nicole. Carter made Savannah happy. Carter wouldn’t like Erica and her friends so much if he knew what horrible people they were. And that was when he had an idea. Smiling slyly, he got up and walked over to Erica and her friends. Erica was discussing about how Deena Rodgers looked like a toad. He scoffed. At least Deena wasn’t a bitch like her. “Hey, Erica.†He forced, trying to put on the best smile. “Um…hi.†She said, shifting her glance towards Nicole who shrugged. “What do you want?†“I want to talk to you about Savannah and Carter.†He said, hardly containing his laugh inside. “Okay…†she ventured, narrowing her amber eyes at him. “Are you and Savannah friends?†“No, why? She’s weird.†Score one for me! He thought “Because she’s my friend and I want to know why you were saying so much shit to her on Facebook last night.†“Because Nicole is dating Carter and she needs to get over him.†She snapped. “Right, Nicole.†Nicole frowned at Justin. “What’s it to you, you’re a loser.†“I guess you’re only nice to Savannah because she’s on your ‘popularity’ level.†He said, putting air quotes around “popularityâ€. “I feel sorry for how pathetic she is.†Nicole said smugly. “Hey, Geoffrey.†He turned his attention to Geoffrey. “Didn’t Carter and Savannah make a cute couple?†Geoffrey laughed as if Justin had just said the most funniest thing in the world. “No, way. They’re like mismatched socks. They’re not the idea couple like him and Nicole.†Gotcha, you bigoted asshole! He thought satisfyingly. “See ya!†he shouted, darting out of the gym. He laughed to himself. Geoffrey was a racist, Nicole was a total bitch, and Erica was a racist. Wait until he told Savannah about his little meeting with the three dumbest people in the universe.
Books & Authors - 3 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
A few points of constructive criticism, please don't take this personally, it's just what I observe as a writer myself. To be honest, it sounds very immature (or was that what you were trying to capture, a high school feeling?). It feels as if you are introducing characters a little too fast, take the time to flesh out one character before moving on to the next. It gets confusing very early on about who you're talking about, who likes who, and who acts a certain way. Take it easy, no one ever complains about getting a full character, even if they may seem inconsequential. It might be beneficial to place the setting before jumping straight into the dialogue. I didn't realize until the end of your writing that the people were even in a gym. It was almost jarring because I had pictured them standing outside, eating lunch or something. Also, there are some issues with use of quotation marks and punctuation inside and outside of the quotes, as well as with speaker tags (who is saying what) and capitalization after quotation marks. The links at the bottom of my answer may be of use. Also, if you are going to use swear words in your story, might as well write them, or use different words. The *** is distracting as the reader is left trying to figure out what word you were actually meaning. All in all, a good effort. Keep writing, and you'll soon find that your style will find itself, and that it will come easily and in a less contrived fashion. Good luck! The links below might help you, check them out.
2 :
firstly, this is my opinion = please don't get put off writing or take anything i say offensively you should introduce your characters a little slower as i had to keep scrolling to the top to check who you were talking about. can you use an adjective other then "shitty" as that doesn't really give alot away e.g cunning, condecending, self rghteous - things like that also i'm probz wron here (at least i hope i am) but it sounds like you know people like this and are getting at them in -- again i'm probably wrong so sorry if i am also, all your "bad" charachters seem to be racist - mix the traits up a bit hope this helps :D
3 :
It does sound a bit immature, that's true. Also, the characters seem to be introduced way too early into the story --- it's hard for the reader to picture what exactly is going on when they don't know who is what is when or why. Other than that, keep working on it and you'll do great! Hope I helped, but if I didn't then hope you get your best answer soon!
Read more other entries :
Justin Alvarado sat in gym class observing Erica Nasso and her friends. Erica creeped him out. The way her lips puffed out when she frowned, the way she smiled with those horrid braces, and her shitty personality. No wonder she hated Savannah Ripley. Savannah was gorgeous while she looked like a constipated lizard on LSD. He felt like yelling at her, but he couldn’t, He was too nice for that. That kind of level was for Erica and Nicole Lyon. They were too scared to admit that they didn’t like Savannah. Especially Nicole. She just wanted to get a better reputation. As much as he had mixed feelings for Carter Atkins, he had rather seen him with Savannah than Nicole. Carter made Savannah happy. Carter wouldn’t like Erica and her friends so much if he knew what horrible people they were. And that was when he had an idea. Smiling slyly, he got up and walked over to Erica and her friends. Erica was discussing about how Deena Rodgers looked like a toad. He scoffed. At least Deena wasn’t a bitch like her. “Hey, Erica.†He forced, trying to put on the best smile. “Um…hi.†She said, shifting her glance towards Nicole who shrugged. “What do you want?†“I want to talk to you about Savannah and Carter.†He said, hardly containing his laugh inside. “Okay…†she ventured, narrowing her amber eyes at him. “Are you and Savannah friends?†“No, why? She’s weird.†Score one for me! He thought “Because she’s my friend and I want to know why you were saying so much shit to her on Facebook last night.†“Because Nicole is dating Carter and she needs to get over him.†She snapped. “Right, Nicole.†Nicole frowned at Justin. “What’s it to you, you’re a loser.†“I guess you’re only nice to Savannah because she’s on your ‘popularity’ level.†He said, putting air quotes around “popularityâ€. “I feel sorry for how pathetic she is.†Nicole said smugly. “Hey, Geoffrey.†He turned his attention to Geoffrey. “Didn’t Carter and Savannah make a cute couple?†Geoffrey laughed as if Justin had just said the most funniest thing in the world. “No, way. They’re like mismatched socks. They’re not the idea couple like him and Nicole.†Gotcha, you bigoted asshole! He thought satisfyingly. “See ya!†he shouted, darting out of the gym. He laughed to himself. Geoffrey was a racist, Nicole was a total bitch, and Erica was a racist. Wait until he told Savannah about his little meeting with the three dumbest people in the universe.
Books & Authors - 3 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
A few points of constructive criticism, please don't take this personally, it's just what I observe as a writer myself. To be honest, it sounds very immature (or was that what you were trying to capture, a high school feeling?). It feels as if you are introducing characters a little too fast, take the time to flesh out one character before moving on to the next. It gets confusing very early on about who you're talking about, who likes who, and who acts a certain way. Take it easy, no one ever complains about getting a full character, even if they may seem inconsequential. It might be beneficial to place the setting before jumping straight into the dialogue. I didn't realize until the end of your writing that the people were even in a gym. It was almost jarring because I had pictured them standing outside, eating lunch or something. Also, there are some issues with use of quotation marks and punctuation inside and outside of the quotes, as well as with speaker tags (who is saying what) and capitalization after quotation marks. The links at the bottom of my answer may be of use. Also, if you are going to use swear words in your story, might as well write them, or use different words. The *** is distracting as the reader is left trying to figure out what word you were actually meaning. All in all, a good effort. Keep writing, and you'll soon find that your style will find itself, and that it will come easily and in a less contrived fashion. Good luck! The links below might help you, check them out.
2 :
firstly, this is my opinion = please don't get put off writing or take anything i say offensively you should introduce your characters a little slower as i had to keep scrolling to the top to check who you were talking about. can you use an adjective other then "shitty" as that doesn't really give alot away e.g cunning, condecending, self rghteous - things like that also i'm probz wron here (at least i hope i am) but it sounds like you know people like this and are getting at them in -- again i'm probably wrong so sorry if i am also, all your "bad" charachters seem to be racist - mix the traits up a bit hope this helps :D
3 :
It does sound a bit immature, that's true. Also, the characters seem to be introduced way too early into the story --- it's hard for the reader to picture what exactly is going on when they don't know who is what is when or why. Other than that, keep working on it and you'll do great! Hope I helped, but if I didn't then hope you get your best answer soon!
Read more other entries :
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)