My boyfriend still talks to his ex girlfriend and IT BOTHERS THE HECK OUTTA ME i cant do it anymore!?
Let me tell you the whole story, not in detail because it way too much. But close so you can understand where I'm coming from. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 6 months now. We are pretty serious. We hardly have fights, only a few disagreements. And we pretty much get along with everything. HOWEVER, his ex girlfriend has been the biggest problem, ever since the beginning. But I live in NY and she lives in CALI. In the very very beginning of our relationship, his mother and himself got into a huge argument and she brought his ex UP (lets call her "Lisa") His mother does not like me, and there really is no reason for that because I am very respectful and polite, she is just one of those "mothers". So yeah she brought up Lisa saying "what is Lisa gonna think when she finds out Mary is here?!" (Mary is my fake name for the story) So i was pissed and me and him discussed the whole matter and talked and talked and his mom was just being a bI***. They broke up a couple months before, she lives in cali he lives in ny. they werent together. he even proved it to me by texting her. it was all resolved. Fine. but.... After that he told me they were just friends. Now just to tell you, they were together for about 3 years and he moved to California to live with her for 2 years and she came here to live with him for about 3 months. So them being friends kinda pissed me off, but i trust him and she lives in Cali you know? He told me he has no feelings for her what so ever and I trust him. But every time me and him hung out she would text him and it would piss me the hell off. She invited him on a cruise. WTF. but he said no. A month later we talked about it and resolved it, he obviously told her not to text him anymore bcuz after that she didnt text him. ok... but now... His mom is a bi*** and she is always bringing her up. Why? Idk, like here's an example. One time I got my period and I needed feminine products and I was at his house. So I asked him mom if she had any, and she said (in these exact words) "Check in the downstairs bathroom. His ex Lisa had them under the sink" Why would she say that? Just to piss me off of course. I talked to him about it, and he apologized and tried talkin to his mom, but she is just naturally bi***y. She stopped bringing her up, but she is still bi***. ok thats solved butttt.... I always find sh** laying around his room, like once i found a photo album of them . I got pissed he apologized put it away. Once I found a note. and so on and so on. You get the point. We discussed this. His room is pretty messy, so he doesnt do it on purpose but still , like you put that stuff away. You know? NoW... i AM NOT a jealous person but wouldnt you be pissed off if they still were friends after all of this drama? No matter how many miles away she is, it still bothers me. We got into arguements (as you can see) about it, and he told me he wont talk to her anymore/ but she face books him all the time. and i know facebook is something kiddish, but it bothers me. Why does she have to face book him? and we just had a talk about it. I told him how i felt, but he told me i shouldnt worry. I am not worrying. It just bothers me. It the fact that all of this drama happened and the fact that her facebook still has pictures of them together. Yeah she cant control her and what she does, but he can control what she does. I asked him to delete her, so this drama could end. But he isnt gonna delete. He isnt gona stop being friends with her. And whats his reason? HE FEELS BAD BECAUSE SHE IS LONELY IN CALIFORNIA. HE DOESNT WANNA JUST BE A "JERK". I dont know what to do. I've had so many convos with him about this and about how it bothers me. But he says hes not the type of guy who stops talking to someone because someone else said they have to . Are you serious? I dont know what to do. I love him, i dont want our relationship to end. WTF SHOULD I DO!? I'm not being paranoid. I trust him. It's the fact that she is still in love with him and he knows it. And the fact that I always find stuff from when they were together in his room. And some added note, he cheated on her and she knows, yet she still wants to be friends with him. It just doesnt make any sense. To me anyway
Singles & Dating - 5 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
wow . you are really controlling ...
2 :
Plain and simple, if he doesnt stop talking to her leave him. if he really wants you, he'll do what it takes. He is still attached to her for some reason. Whatever the reason is is not your concern its his and he has to work that out...with you or without you. You have to allow hime to do that even if he doesnt know he needs the time.
3 :
Well you told him to stop talking to her right and how you felt? I guess you can always go are you still in love with her? And that I am sorry but I am leaving you because if you really cared about me and my feelings you would stop talking to her and you haven't so that says that you still love her and your not over her. Sorry :'( been there and it's a hurtful road but I luckily found the man who truly loves me and respects me a year later after a guy that is kinda like yours.
4 :
okay well wow! but seeing as he has been with that other girl for 3 years! i think that is pretty serious and i understand him when he says he does not want to stop being friends because im sure in a way he still cares for her. So i think first you should talk to HER (with ur bf knowing about it tho) about their whole "friend relationship" If you are certain he is in love with you then he won't mind but do not attack her or anyting to make her dislike you because then hes gonna be in a pickle. Then of course when thats resolved talk to his mother about how rude she is being. best of luck! if worse comes to worse, move on!! you don't need inlaw drama.
5 :
stop being so paranoid and chasing him off from ur life... instead of being pissed with him still in contact with the ex, u should instead improve on ur relationship with him.. come as u say she not even physically there to ruin ur relationship. come on they been together for few yrs sure he still have lingering feelings its only natural. U should instead be a better gf then her to make him stop thinking of her... U wanna pisse the gf off ask ur bf put pictures of u 2 together.. Seriously u getting way to involve about his ex... on his mom it takes time to get in her books and 1st is stop being paranoid
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